To think bad dog owners don't realise that they are bad dog owners?

[WayTooSoon]

Kind of a thread about lots of threads...

Every so often, threads appear on here saying someone's dog ran up to them/their child/their dog and how the owners respond with "it's ok, he's friendly" or similar. What usually follows is a load of posters saying "bad owners give us good owners a bad name". So is mumsnet entirely populated by "good owners" or are people oblivious to their own shortcomings as pet owners? Aibu to think that if someone is a bad owner, it seems likely that they have no idea that other people see them as a bad owner?

Are you now or have you ever been a "bad owner"?

I must say I am rather jealous of all these people who regularly get approached by random dogs. I love dogs but they don't often approach me. I have a staffie and she adores people. Absolute sweet heart.

the akita nearly took my dog's head off
Yes your dog should have been on a lead but surely the other problem is the akita, it's completely unreasonable to have a large powerful predator as a pet 😟

That means when 'it's ok he's friendly' comes running up to my dog he doesn't notice them until they're suddenly in his face and he will either get a fright and try to run off, or snap defensively

Poor thing! I'd be cross too

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

Mumsnet is obsessed with bad dog owners and think if you absolutely have to have a dog it has to be a rescue

Not just a rescue but a GREYHOUND - because everyone has to e means to welcome a massive, overly energetic dog into their lives 🤣

Greyhounds aren't overly energetic. The PDSA recommends about an hours exercise daily.

www.pdsa.org.uk/taking-care-of-your-pet/looking-after-your-pet/puppies-dogs/large-dogs/greyhound

If the dog is wearing a bright yellow harness that says nervous dog or dog in training you would have to be blind to miss it

I would never even look at someone's dog though let alone clock what's on their lead? Why would anybody?! Control your dog and use your words.

Dog has one. Every fucker ignores it and goes in for a stroke.
Who's fault is it though if she bites

It's your fault.

If you know your dog bites, you can't expect a lead to do the warning - speak up as they're approaching be alert. You can't bring a dangerous animal into a public space and expect everyone else to adjust their behaviour

Also buy a muzzle for it

Trouble is with recall, you can't really test good recall unless you have them off around other dogs. You could have one that comes back 100% when there's nobody else around but it's a different story otherwise. Most dogs get better the more they practice.

I don’t think a lot of them are especially bad owner, they’re just unthoughtful owners. Like a lot of car drivers, they bimble along in their own little world not paying attention to what’s happening around them. I have my dogs gathered up and back on the lead as soon as I see someone else, just to be safe. Then they go off again once we’re past them. Some people are just oblivious. I work in a dog friendly café. There is a couple that come in regularly with a little black chiauaua puppy (sp!). They let it wander about on its extension lead going up to other dogs, the black lead tripping people up. I can’t count the number of times I’ve got tangled up in the lead while carrying trays of drinks. Yet if you look at them they just gurn back at you with an “isn’t she cute!” expressions. It’s only when you point out that someone is likely going to step on their dog and hurt it so it’s better to keep it close that they wind it in.

You can't bring a dangerous animal into a public space and expect everyone else to adjust their behaviour
^this, if your dog responds by attacking then it is a dangerous animal and should not be in a public space unless muzzled and on a lead
we should not have to navigate around animals which might attack us in urban areas, animals which attack should not be unrestrained in public spaces

I don’t think lots of ‘bad’ dog owners think that other dogs might be any different from their dog.

In lockdown I’ve had to stop walking my dog in our favourite woodland due to unthinking dog owners. My dog had always been anxious of other dogs (abandoned puppy we rescued) and gets her hackles up when she feels threatened by other dogs. So I keep her on a lead.

I cannot count the number of people who have let threat dog come and ‘play’ with mine while she is on the lead and most of them can’t recall their dogs. They just say ‘oh she’s very friendly, just wants to play’. Thing is, my dog doesn’t! She’s anxious and will growl to keep them away which doesn’t always end well.

I often ask people to put their dog on the lead and often get aggressive or defensive reactions, particularly when they can’t actually recall their dog to get them off mine.

If the dog is wearing a bright yellow harness that says nervous dog or dog in training you would have to be blind to miss it

Not everyone can read, especially not children.

Dog has one. Every fucker ignores it and goes in for a stroke. Who's fault is it though if she bites?

Yours. She's your dog. If she has a bite history, she needs to be muzzled in public.

I say all this as a dog owner and dog lover. It's your responsibility to keep your dog safe and under control. Ultimately if she bites someone, you could lose her forever.

@Honeyroar pre-COVID I was in a dog friendly cafe where a had to nurse a waitress's bleeding nose, as she was carrying two fajita skillets (that actually belonged to me and my friend) and a Maltese dog still on its extendable lead ran out in front of her, and she went flying along with all the food. She's lucky she didn't get burnt on the sizzling skillets really.

The dog owner made a fuss because her dog (who was fine) was "kicked" - she actually had a go at the waitress while I was wiping blood off her nose with an antiseptic wipe! And what's more the manager told her off and apologised to the dog owner!! I gave him a piece of my mind and said you shouldn't serve sizzling food AND let's dogs in here, and they shouldn't be on extendable leads they should be on short leads. It seems he's a "dog person" though . And no apology for our spoiled food, and it took an hour to get more, which the manager seemed to really begrudge doing

I left a bad review on Facebook and got called a "cunt" by some member of the public because I didn't recognise the poor dog's feeling before the bleeding waitress. British people are weird about dogs

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows thank you ☺️we try to be good owners but we know we aren’t perfect and can get things wrong. I think most dog owners need to accept that they try their best but won’t always get it right and be prepared to apologise when they get it wrong. Also some of ours is less about being a good owner and more like common sense - I don’t run, a dogs natural reaction to a runner is to chase them, I don’t want to chase my dogs, therefore the lead goes on and they’re told to sit and wait (because sitting they’re less likely to take charge).

It's all about tolerance isn't it.

I walk mine in a hilly woods, but since lockdown there are increasing numbers of walkers without dogs who give me a filthy look because they come around a corner and my dogs are there. Just existing.

One woman started screaming.. Really screaming.. when she saw the dogs on a path. The dogs were about 5 feet away and standing completely still. All I could think was how can she function with that level of anxiety.

I have also met some lovely non dog owners, in particular one lady who brings her dog loving children for a walk there just so they can meet and talk to dogs and their owners.

So I guess the thing is if you are terrified of dogs, you can't expect for the world to become dog free, and similarly I wouldn't expect my dogs to be able to walk off lead around town centres and "people" parks.
Maybe choose a location that works for you, rather than expect that everyone else is wrong and should change?

Theres a woman I know who has a puppy. She does not believe in leads once they hit a certain age. She thinks it is cruel, so she believes she is a good dog owner, doing right by her dog.
Only her dog is running over to anyone and everyone and I worry when I see her, because my dog is reactive. People have tried to explain this kind of thing to her but she won't take it in.

Shes not a bad owner, just a little oblivious to reality. It's going to take something horrible happening before she sees it, and I just hope for hers and her dogs sake that never happens.

That is my biggest annoyance with other owners. When they think because their dog is fine, that other dogs must be too. Then they look at me like I'm an awful owner because my dog (on the lead) snaps at theirs.

My mum loves her dogs and in many ways they're very well taken care of, but she's a terrible dog owner as far as other people and animals are concerned. She's on her fourth dog, and she will not train any of them. She says she "doesn't like very well behaved dogs" - well hers certainly aren't that. She treats them like babies instead of animals! It drives me insane.

A dog's natural reaction to a runner is to chase them
I'm a runner and don't I know it 😖
I can't enjoy my runs because of dog owners who insist that their dog has to be off leash so it can enjoy its walk
Outdoor spaces are for humans to use, I should not have to be inconvenienced because of the needs of other people's pets

I'm petrified of dogs, particularly big ones, after being bitten badly as a child. The sight of a dog off the lead makes my blood run cold, and I can't go to several open spaces due to people letting their dogs run freely.

@Yohoheaveho

A dog's natural reaction to a runner is to chase them I'm a runner and don't I know it 😖 I can't enjoy my runs because of dog owners who insist that their dog has to be off leash so it can enjoy its walk Outdoor spaces are for humans to use, I should not have to be inconvenienced because of the needs of other people's pets

Yes, so surely as a responsible owner in places where people run, you see it coming and prevent it.

I am a good dog owner whereas dh isn't. One of our dogs, the rescue is reactive on a lead and snarls and lunges as if she wants to take a chunk out of passing dogs. She doesn't - she's actually a frustrated greeter. She wants to get up close and say hello and she isn't aggressive. However, she certainly appears aggressive.

Dh will let her get within a foot of a passing dog whilst telling the worried looking dog owner - "It's okay she won't hurt him", whereas I know that she looks murderous and that saying this (and getting so close) isn't reassuring - so I will keep my distance / change direction / cross the street. I keep trying to explain this to him but for an intelligent man he is as dim as!

In my experience dog owners treat me as if I am an inconveniencing them by running near to their dog, because I have been attacked in the past I am nervous and I tend to slow down and walk if I see a dog off lead

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows it’s really good of you to defend that poor waitress! The café owner sounds a nob. I love having dogs in our café (which is mostly outdoor) and 95% of people that bring dogs in are perfectly sensible.

@JorisBonson

I'm petrified of dogs, particularly big ones, after being bitten badly as a child. The sight of a dog off the lead makes my blood run cold, and I can't go to several open spaces due to people letting their dogs run freely.

Maybe we could start wearing sashes saying 'I am a dog attack survivor keep your dog away from me'?

The ones who think everyone likes their dog are bad owners. Because they say the old “It’s ok he’s friendly” line instead of pulling or calling the dog away and they make no attempt to prevent it from going near people in the first place.

Yeah, one day your “friendly dog” could snap. Some owners seem to forget that they own an actual animal and not some sweet little fairytale creature.

my friend’s Malamute is one of the breeds generally advised to keep leashed at all times, if they let her off they’d never see her again.

This is do sad. What makes someone want to own a dog like this?!

The thing is no one (dog or person!) is perfect. Not all owners are expert dog handlers and just do their best.
Dog behaviour isn't always predictable. My dog is 11months old, I don't let her approach people and know what distance she can be from a 'trigger' before I need to put her back on leash. I'd say her recall is about 80-90% but goes down depending on how close/ exciting the trigger is because she is a puppy and still learning.

Every now and then a leshed dog appears as we walk around a corner or she'll randomly decide that she wants to sniff the bit of grass someone is standing near or say to 'hello' to someone.

So if this happens say once a month, am I a bad dog owner? Are only perfect people and dogs allowed out in public?

Is every dog owner on Mumsnet honestly saying that their dog is always 100% perfect and predictable?

I'm careful about where I walk her and I'm always alert to who/ what is around so I call away/ leash my dog as and when needed.