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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think bad dog owners don't realise that they are bad dog owners?

454 replies

WayTooSoon · 06/02/2021 10:36

Kind of a thread about lots of threads...

Every so often, threads appear on here saying someone's dog ran up to them/their child/their dog and how the owners respond with "it's ok, he's friendly" or similar. What usually follows is a load of posters saying "bad owners give us good owners a bad name". So is mumsnet entirely populated by "good owners" or are people oblivious to their own shortcomings as pet owners? Aibu to think that if someone is a bad owner, it seems likely that they have no idea that other people see them as a bad owner?

Are you now or have you ever been a "bad owner"?

OP posts:
tenbananasaday · 09/02/2021 17:26

[quote LST]@tenbananasaday you'd love my big ginger tom. He likes to choose the house he spends time in each day 🤣[/quote]
I love ginger toms! Reminds me of the cat my nanna had when we were growing up. Such a character- full of affection and so sassy! My own cat was sadly killed by an out of control dog last year. It happened right outside my house and it was devastating. The dog was not only off the lead in a residential area but was also allowed to roam without the supervision of its owner. So I can see both sides of the argument when it comes to dogs.

tenbananasaday · 09/02/2021 17:33

@greatpurplepolkadots
You missed the bit where I said I combat this by calling her back to leash her when we see someone or I will get her to walk to heel by using treats but it's not 100%. I also said about how I only let her off in quiet places like the woods or fields (of-course where no livestock is present).

So many posters seem to think an off lead dog approaching them is some sort of traumatic and dangerous event. If you see my previous post you will learn that we have actually been the victims of an irresponsible owner ourselves. There is a world of difference between the two.

greatpurplepolkadots · 09/02/2021 17:40

[quote tenbananasaday]@greatpurplepolkadots
You missed the bit where I said I combat this by calling her back to leash her when we see someone or I will get her to walk to heel by using treats but it's not 100%. I also said about how I only let her off in quiet places like the woods or fields (of-course where no livestock is present).

So many posters seem to think an off lead dog approaching them is some sort of traumatic and dangerous event. If you see my previous post you will learn that we have actually been the victims of an irresponsible owner ourselves. There is a world of difference between the two. [/quote]
Again... deliberately trying to make responses appear hysterical.

I'm not traumatised by an off lead dog thank you very much. I do however consider an owner that can't recall her dog c. one out of three times (according to your original stat before you trimmed it down to make it sound better) to be a pretty poor owner. Especially if, when commented on, the response is to hand wring and say but it's just so hard because the dog loves people.

An off lead dog walking past is one thing. Letting your dog repeatedly jump up on and leave people muddy is rude.

tenbananasaday · 09/02/2021 17:50

@greatpurplepolkadots
It depends on lots of factors. But whatever... worst crimes out there. Feel free to send me the dry cleaning bill.

LST · 09/02/2021 17:55

@tenbananasaday I have a ginger girl too but she hasn't ventured out yet, we were waiting until spring. They are the best character wise!

And that is awful! I am so so sorry that happened 😢 Did you find out who the owner was?

TurnsOutIQuit · 09/02/2021 17:58

A friend stayed with me for a while and she was a terrible dog owner. Wouldn't walk the dog, didn't clean up after it, forgot to feed it, all sorts. I tried to address it with her several times, but she wouldn't listen to me. When I finally told her bluntly that she was abusing the poor animal, she was deeply offended and immediately moved out.

She still thinks she's a good dog owner, and intends to breed the dog. We have completely fallen out over it and don't speak anymore.

tenbananasaday · 09/02/2021 18:02

[quote LST]@tenbananasaday I have a ginger girl too but she hasn't ventured out yet, we were waiting until spring. They are the best character wise!

And that is awful! I am so so sorry that happened 😢 Did you find out who the owner was?[/quote]
Aw, ginger girls are a rarity! Thanks... Yeah, it was very traumatic. I've had counselling to try and move forward. We caught it on our CCTV. The owners lived on the next street over. We reported them but nothing really came of it. I think they got a warning although to be fair we didn't see that same dog off lead again. We have moved away now as living there was a constant reminder. We are almost ready to give a loving home to another rescue cat soon. I feel anxious about letting them out though because of my bad experience. I am looking into cat proofing the garden via protect-a-pet x

dontdisturbmenow · 09/02/2021 18:09

you and so many posters here are having trouble distinguishing between dogs and animals
Haha brilliant lapsus! I assume you mean humans!

Again, some posters are struggling to get that it's not about debating who is more important. It's comparing level of annoyance. For those who hate dogs, they will always be more annoying than anything else. For those who love dogs and maybe are not keen in kids, they will fi d kids more annoying. Annoyance is annoyance whoever cause it.

And legally, excessive noise is excessive noise regardless of the source. If kids scream all day long and the decibel level is above what is considered safe, it could be reported.

In any case, if the majority of people agreed with you, a law to enforce that all dogs be on lead anywhere would have long be passed. Thankfully, you represent a minority.

Goldenbear · 09/02/2021 19:00

But the recourse is different and this is the problem with your argument, annoying children you have to put up with. You can report loud children but nothing will be done about it if it is in the day time and barely anything will be done about it at any time. Nuisance dogs that bark all day can be reported as they do not have the same rights as human children. In all honesty, it is really neglect to a dog not to train it properly. Pretending it has human characteristics is mistreating it IMO, so in the case of my DD's friend's family dog, it is never off the lead as it bites other dogs and runs off. It has no recall and because it is a fur baby, the Mum is blind to its unruly behaviour. She is offended if you don't want it 'nipping' you or if you won't greet it. My DD does not want to go around there anymore and she is not the only one so the priortisation of the dog over her DD having friends (when allowed) is wrong imo.

Mittens030869 · 09/02/2021 19:08

@Goldenbear Agreed. My DDs go round to play with their friends' house three doors down (well, not now during lockdown obviously). Their mum is the friend I spoke about earlier; she always shuts their dog in the kitchen, as he does get overexcited (he's a daft Labrador Retriever). She's very careful about that, which I've always appreciated.

Goldenbear · 09/02/2021 19:25

This is sensible to me, I mean if my child is going around to a house for a prolonged period and the dog is 'nipping' or knocking them over if It is strong enough. I simply will not let my DD be terrorised by the dog. It is ashame as I am friends with the mum but you can't mention it without causing offence. I don't want to go around there as I don't want my jumpers ruined or to be bitten on the hand endlessly! I am allergic to dogs so I can't tolerate the licking and dander all over me, it is bearable if I can speak to the dog fron a distance and stay for the time it takes to drink a cup of coffee as long as they don't go near me. But this dog has a thing for me, it always wants to sit on me or lick me or 'nip' my hands. The 'mum' of the dog- human being but she refers to herself as its mum thinks it's really sweet and is offended even if I say I am going to be wheezy.

Poorlykitten · 09/02/2021 19:45

There are many laws and by laws enforcing dogs to be in leads, it’s just generally ignored by the masses of ignorant dog owners. Walking in the Lake District at any time will prove this point.

longcoffeebreak · 09/02/2021 19:57

I'm a bad dog owner by your definition

longcoffeebreak · 09/02/2021 20:00

My (non rescue pedigree) dog runs up to other people and dogs and runs around them when off the lead. Sometimes he takes a few 'come heres' to come back as well.

whenwillthemadnessend · 09/02/2021 20:15

I did actually have food stolen at a picnic about 7 years ago

A spaniel ran over at a national trust place and nicked a sarnie. Owner didn't even bother to come over and apologise dickhead

It was On the formal garden area too not the vast parkland out back. Dogs in that type of area should absolutely be on leads.

I'm now a dog owner myself no I'd be mortified if my dog did that.

tenbananasaday · 09/02/2021 20:36

@whenwillthemadnessend
I saw a lab run over to a picnic and pinch a bag of crisp last year during the summertime. The owners apologised, the family said don't worry about and I assume everyone just got on with their day.

I will put my girl on a lead as soon as I detect a possible picnic, which is why they only lost one bag of crisp that day and not two!

I have a staffie and I find people can occasionally be a little prejudice. Such a shame.

Babyroobs · 09/02/2021 22:51

[quote tenbananasaday]@whenwillthemadnessend
I saw a lab run over to a picnic and pinch a bag of crisp last year during the summertime. The owners apologised, the family said don't worry about and I assume everyone just got on with their day.

I will put my girl on a lead as soon as I detect a possible picnic, which is why they only lost one bag of crisp that day and not two!

I have a staffie and I find people can occasionally be a little prejudice. Such a shame. [/quote]
An ex colleague of mine had a dalmatian that once ran through a picnic and stole a whole Victoria sponge sandwich cake and just took off with it. The worst my dog has done is take an empty sausage roll packet from a picnic.

PopcornAndWine · 09/02/2021 22:59

As a non dog owner, I'd forgive dog owners most things so long as they just pick up the shit. There was a post on a local Facebook page here last week about a toddler who had fallen in a park and was covered in dog crap, mum had posted a picture, there were actually people commenting "well the poor dog obviously had diarrhoea, how was the owner supposed to pick it up?" HmmHmmHmm

I actually like dogs although would never choose to own one but I am becoming less and less tolerant of them because of this. And as a pp said, dog owners claim to be disgusted and appalled by it but with the amount of shit that's left around, clearly plenty of them are lying.

VinylDetective · 09/02/2021 23:10

dog owners claim to be disgusted and appalled by it but with the amount of shit that's left around, clearly plenty of them are lying.

Unless you think you’ve been told this by every dog owner in the country, this is obviously nonsense.

Mittens030869 · 09/02/2021 23:28

dog owners claim to be disgusted and appalled by it but with the amount of shit that's left around, clearly plenty of them are lying.

Not necessarily. I know for a fact that a lot of dog owners are very conscientious about clearing up shit, and are sick of having to warn their DC to look out for other dogs' shit.

But there are a great many dog owners. And there are also, as we all know, plenty of arseholes, some of whom happen to own dogs.

TheChip · 09/02/2021 23:30

Some people who own dogs are disabled and can't physically pick up the shit. I think this is within the law and they can rightly leave it though. But that's one reason some people leave it, and a one I can completely understand.

TheChip · 09/02/2021 23:32

Shit. I posted this on the wrong thread. The other thread is about not picking poop up

PopcornAndWine · 09/02/2021 23:37

I wasn't trying to imply that most don't pick it up - clearly the majority do, but it must be a significant minority who don't, yet none I've spoken to ever admit to it. Genuine question - has anyone ever encountered a dog owner who freely admits to not picking up after them?

80sMum · 10/02/2021 02:46

@longcoffeebreak

My (non rescue pedigree) dog runs up to other people and dogs and runs around them when off the lead. Sometimes he takes a few 'come heres' to come back as well.
In that case, it's pretty clear that your dog is not under your control and should therefore be kept on a lead until such time as it's been properly trained.
Poorlykitten · 10/02/2021 09:03

@PopcornAndWine my mother, she hated the use of plastic bags so would kick it in to the undergrowth. No real reasoning with her sadly.

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