To be sick to death of male violence against women?!

[Conkergame]

Kilmarnock attacks: Mother and daughter killed and man dies in crash www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-55948245

Just read about the poor mother and daughter killed in Kilmarnock by what sounds like the mother’s husband/partner. When will this stop?! And when will it be taken seriously as the misogynistic hate crime that it clearly is?!

Feeling even more fed up with it than usual as I also had a scary incident this week where I went for a run with a friend in the centre of a city at 6pm and got harassed by a man

I’d been so looking forward to going out, getting some fresh air and catching up with my friend and then some d1ckhead had to ruin it by running alongside us saying “I want sex with you, I want sex with you” over and over again. When I turned to confront him and told him to “shut up and go away”, he turned nasty, raised his hand as if to hit me and said, “you trying to mess with me?” in a really menacing way. I’m mid-thirties and haven’t had to deal with this sh1t in a while but it left me really shaken (we ended up sprinting for our lives and trying to ask for help from a stranger, who just ignored us ) Luckily the weird guy got bored and stopped following us eventually, but who knows what could have happened

AIBU to think there needs to be much more effort made to reduce male violence and harassment against women in the UK?

It’s in everyone’s interest to reduce violence, particular murders and especially if you’re a man; so I don’t think you’d get many disagreeing. in 2019 64% UK of murder victims were men and per population twice as many men are murdered vs woman. The huge disparity is obviously in the victim/perpetrator relationship.

@ABJ1 And who is doing this murdering? Clue- not women.

Yes its every day countless stories in the paper involving male violence against women.
The perpetrators are getting younger.

What makes me angry as pp alluded to, is the media reporting in some cases in the past where i have read things like devoted family man or under severe pressure and I want to scream at the news stand "no. He was a fucking violent evil wife beating bastard" interestingly if I did this I would be seen as the unhinged one

Indeed, @PicsInRed. Disappointing from Naga.

in 2019 64% UK of murder victims were men and per population twice as many men are murdered vs woman
Men killed by men. Violence is everywhere mainly because of men.

I've got a dd and ds. I'm scared for them both. And thinking about it, it's males I'm scared of. I'm scared for Ds, as he's quirky and a bit weird and we live in area where there are lots of young men with nothing else to do than harass those they perceive as weak.

But then I'm also scared he'll rebel against the way he's been brought up, becauseI don't know if I've become background noise. Having said that, dh takes on an equal share at home and even changed his language when the kids were small, because I objected to phrases like 'man up' and 'big girl 's blouse'. His collective noun for the kids is 'girls' after I told him how women are always supposed to accept being under a male umbrella.

Before knowing the sex of the people involved I knew it was a male perpetrator. When I heard it was two women who were victims I knew it would be a mother and daughter. It's frightening how predictable and reoccurring these violent crimes are. Let's see tomorrow if his life achievements are listed and the victims ignored.

got a dd and ds. I'm scared for them both. And thinking about it, it's males I'm scared of. I'm scared for Ds, as he's quirky and a bit weird and we live in area where there are lots of young men with nothing else to do than harass those they perceive as weak
Yep it is terrible.
People keep insisting life has always been crazy there is more media access.
I live in Dublin centre violence and murders have exploded in recent years many places are no go areas it was a bit rough but never as violent.
The gangs on bikes tooled up lack of gardai in sight its a horror show.
I fear for my DC they're quiet shielded to the area.
People can't mind their own business if they see a lone chap walking he is a targeted.
Our jobs and family are here although siblings are in the better areas nowadays moving house doesn't solve the problem it is everywhere within my budget.

Fully agree. The way it’s reported is awful too

I don't think there is anywhere to escape to. We have seaside with issues, one way and cities the other. You just have to grit your teeth and hope they get through the teen years unscathed. They're less sheltered in some ways than I was, but less in others. Their friends too

I am with you OP. I am raging.

I would love to take action against this.

The way the BBC article framed it dramatically around a hospital, because obviously they're the current places of interest; who gives a shit about men yet again killing women. And then "its not terror related" so nobody needs to worry. Just a man killing woman again. You know, like last week.

I think what males do to women, the whole spectrum from threatening running guy all the way to killer, isn't as far from terrorism as they'd like to think. There's the political motive to keep the class of women in their place, and misogynists of all political flavours seem mightily unashamed and keen to consort with other misogynists. Trainee abusers can be groomed through violent porn (don't kink shame!) and rest safe in the knowledge that rape is virtually legal in the UK.

And let's not forget, if a femicide makes the news, there's often a focus on all the good character traits of the killer and all the intolerable things the woman did to drive him to it.

Is ‘violence against women’ some weird mutation of particle wave theory that when observed by men appears to be ‘just’ an isolated incident?

It has got to start being seen for what it is, a wave of terror and brutalisation made up of individual cases.

Not sure if road deaths are reported in the same way across the country but where I am they generally mention “this is the 2nd/7th/15th death this year on the roads” and even in the weather report “this is the coldest Nov in x years or this is the 6th named storm, double last years for the same period etc etc

Media reporting of male pattern violence could be given the same statistical and comparative style to counter the notion that they are all ‘isolated incidents’ and give the broader horrific picture eg
“this is the 106th woman killed by a male partner this year”
“year on year the number of male family members who murder their whole families has increased by x% per year”
“this investigation marks the 4th reported rape on campus this term alone”
“to date there are x number of women’s shelter places and x+90 women needing places, the govt withdrawal of funding from y shelter means an additional 500 women and 1200 children will continue living in danger”

I mean its stupid and simplistic but it is one small change that reporters could make to present a more accurate picture.

With all the clamour for accuracy around Cv figures, this shouldn’t be a big stretch for news outlets.

With all the clamour for accuracy around Cv figures, this shouldn’t be a big stretch for news outlets.

I agree. But there would need to be a willingness to do this

Of course that is utterly shocking. Let's have a stop to all violence. Every excuse in the book was made on here for that American woman who murdered a pregnant woman. NONE of it is acceptable.,

@Viviennemary

Of course that is utterly shocking. Let's have a stop to all violence. Every excuse in the book was made on here for that American woman who murdered a pregnant woman. NONE of it is acceptable.,

Not what I read. What she did was utterly heinous and I've not seen one person claim otherwise. What I did see was justifiable criticism of the state-sanctioned murder of a mentally ill person.

Men need to wake up and do some (a lot) of self examination. As a class, they are misogynistic to the point of violence.
Why? What are they trying to defend?
Maybe it's like the joke: 'why do dogs lick their balls?'. Answer: 'because they can.'

Duno doom, it’s up to men if you address male violence. I don’t have any idea if you all will or not.

As one poster said, saying, ‘Boys will be boys,’ is where it all begins. Teach them responsibility, empathy and respect. We can’t accept less from our children. That’s the only way we can begin to make a change. We must never put up with less from boys than we expect from girls. It’s because we do that many working class white boys fail in school and that’s when the trouble really starts.

They need to see the suffering violence and sexual assault causes from a young age.
The thing that often stumps me is the group sexual assaults and beatings who decides? Why do the others follow? Bravado has a lot to answer for.
They need to be taught at a young age to say "No" if more were aware of the pain and suffering it caused would it help one say "No this is wrong"

Abj1 it’s men doing the murdering. They might kill more men than women but it’s not like us women should sit quiet over here and be grateful.

Women don’t go around killing men or women. And it’s not women’s job to protect men killed by men. They are the class with all the power, they are responsible for fixing their violence. Women are allowed to centre women’s needs and female victims and not punctuate everything with ‘but men are victims too’.

Men might kill more men than women, but they rape more women than men. They sexually harass more women than men. They physically, sexually and emotionally abuse more women than men in intimate relationships. They focus the same abuse at female children than male ones also.

The factor that matters is that 90% of all violence and 98% of sexual violence is committed by men.

Agree that male violence against women and girls is terrorism. I used that term about school shooters on a zombie thread that popped up and didn’t even consider it in relation to wider male violence, but it is exactly that, it’s done to incite terror, so we will modify our behaviour the way they want. That’s what terrorism is and it’s 100% true with male violence against women and girls too.

@Iwillsquekagain Yes, I agree, it is like a type of terrisism. Be like this...or else ..

Exactly @OldPervsWithNoFannyOfTheirOwn, some perspective is needed in reporting so that people become aware of the scale of the problem. And @Doomsdayiscoming, you might not think that changing the way the media report this would be a big step but actually it would be. The media, particularly the right wing media is hugely influential on so many levels. People internalise the view that the woman must have done something wrong to ‘provoke’ this ‘caring family man’ to commit violence.

‘There’s political motive to keep the class of women in their place’.

Absolutely. Patriarchal heirarchy can’t remain a heirachry without women being the lower class. Loads of seemingly decent men simply don’t want to risk their position with the class that has all the power. They think they respect women, they don’t do the violence, they are decent men and not like the violent ones. But they have an inherent interest in maintaining the hirachal power structure, so over look the role they play in maintaining it.