To be sick to death of male violence against women?!

[Conkergame]

Kilmarnock attacks: Mother and daughter killed and man dies in crash www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-55948245

Just read about the poor mother and daughter killed in Kilmarnock by what sounds like the mother’s husband/partner. When will this stop?! And when will it be taken seriously as the misogynistic hate crime that it clearly is?!

Feeling even more fed up with it than usual as I also had a scary incident this week where I went for a run with a friend in the centre of a city at 6pm and got harassed by a man

I’d been so looking forward to going out, getting some fresh air and catching up with my friend and then some d1ckhead had to ruin it by running alongside us saying “I want sex with you, I want sex with you” over and over again. When I turned to confront him and told him to “shut up and go away”, he turned nasty, raised his hand as if to hit me and said, “you trying to mess with me?” in a really menacing way. I’m mid-thirties and haven’t had to deal with this sh1t in a while but it left me really shaken (we ended up sprinting for our lives and trying to ask for help from a stranger, who just ignored us ) Luckily the weird guy got bored and stopped following us eventually, but who knows what could have happened

AIBU to think there needs to be much more effort made to reduce male violence and harassment against women in the UK?

What I hate is that there is such a huge counterculture talking about violence/assault against men when really that is much, much more rare.

I can't remember the stats for hospital admissions etc, but men are more likely to be victims of violence/assault, no?

But that's much more likely to be male on male violence than female on male violence. And it tends not to be domestic abuse, which is what this thread is about (see the original thread title and the news story it refers to).

EVERYONE should listen to this.

Laura Bates reads it herself and cries. I cried with her.

www.audible.co.uk/pd/Men-Who-Hate-Women-Audiobook/B08GKYST6P?ipRedirectOverride=true&source_code=M2M30DFT1Bk13004272002HN&gclid=Cj0KCQiAmfmABhCHARIsACwPRACmHkdydFHxidoTesXe6zKiVZxcHUkg1t0gwRraovblU6jghG5Pj6AaAtgjEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

But that's much more likely to be male on male violence than female on male violence. And it tends not to be domestic abuse, which is what this thread is about (see the original thread title and the news story it refers to)

Exactly. Its still MEN committing these crimes. Which is why our focus should be on educating men not to be violent rather than judging women for going out and getting drunk/ criticising what they wear, staying in abusive relationships etc Its MEN who are the fucking problem here, not women.

@Bigbigbirfday Laura Bates is a hero, so brave doing what she does. The amount of abuse she receives is obscene - shame the men sending it are too dim to realise they are proving all of her points!

I remember when a mother and teenage daughter was shot by their dad in the town

Everyone was saying how much a nice guy he was..until the two older sons turned round and said no he wasn’t! He was an abusive dick

Then all of a sudden, people were saying they always thought he was a wrong un

Nice men don’t murder their family for daring to leave

I remember seeing this and thought yes!!

For the 'women do it too' brigade, latest stats from ONS:
'There were large differences in the profile of victim-suspect relationships between men and women victims. In the year ending March 2019, female victims were more likely to be killed by a partner or ex-partner or a family member, while male victims were more likely to be killed by a friend or acquaintance, stranger or other known person.

Almost half (48%) of adult female homicide victims were killed in a domestic homicide (99). This was an increase of 12 homicides compared with the previous year. In contrast, 8% of male victims were victims of domestic homicide (30) in the latest year. This was an increase of six homicides compared with the previous year.

In almost 4 in 10 female homicide victims aged 16 years or over, the suspect was their partner or ex-partner (38%, 80 homicides). This was an increase of 17 homicides compared with the previous year. However, the 63 homicides in the previous year was the lowest number in the last 40 years.1 Over the last 10 years there was an average of 82 female victims a year killed by a partner or ex-partner.

In contrast, there were only 4% of male victims aged 16 years and over where the suspect was their partner or ex-partner (16 homicides)'

And, of course some of the men killed by a partner could have been in a same sex relationship.

I get flamed in RL because I’m quite vocal about the fact that I believe men cause the majority of problems in this world. But they do.

I don’t hate men but... yeah.

@OliverBabish

I get flamed in RL because I’m quite vocal about the fact that I believe men cause the majority of problems in this world. But they do.

I don’t hate men but... yeah.

sometimes it feels like the only reason society functions is that women are there to absorb some of the violence and discord caused by men, like if we didnt placate and defer to them it would all spill over into chaos....

@OliverBabish

I get flamed in RL because I’m quite vocal about the fact that I believe men cause the majority of problems in this world. But they do.

I don’t hate men but... yeah.

But its true!!

I dont know how people can flame you for speaking statistical fact. Men DO cause the majority of problems and violence in this world. Not all, but the LARGE MAJORITY of it. Ive never EVER heard a man say he was wary or scared to walk home alone because he feared being raped by a woman!

Its not hating on men to acknowledge the actual reality of our world so carry on!

@Cam77

The phrase male violence against women is double-speak, intended to create a discussion context that serves a political agenda.

In terms of domestic violence in the West, the statistics are certainly far more evenly distributed than many would assume. Apparently 40% victims are male. 1/3 women have been victims of domestic violence compared to 1/4 men.

However, globally speaking, I think there are still serious inequalities and incidences of male violence against women being brushed under the carpet.

Apparently 40% of victims are male? I would like to see a reliable source on that.

ONS Domestic abuse victim characteristics for England and Wales YE March 2019

Domestic abuse-related crimes by sex of victims have been analysed using data from the Home Office Data Hub2. There were 29 forces that supplied data for sex in the year ending March 20193.

In three-quarters of domestic abuse-related crimes the victim was female (75%). This proportion was similar for the majority of offence categories, but for domestic abuse-related sexual offences the proportion of victims that were female was even higher, at 96%

National Centre for Domestic Violence:

'convictions of women perpetrating domestic abuse has increased six-fold in the 15 years to 2018/19: up from 806 in 2004/05 to 4,599 (a 74% conviction rate). In 2018/19, a total of 55,486 men were convicted of domestic abuse-related offences (a 77% conviction rate).'

So convictions of women are less than 10% of conviction of men.

In three-quarters of domestic abuse-related crimes the victim was female (75%). This proportion was similar for the majority of offence categories, but for domestic abuse-related sexual offences the proportion of victims that were female was even higher, at 96%

That is shocking and vile. Also- 4599 women being accused of domestic violence versus 55,486 men. Also:

Over 80% (83%) of high frequency victims (more than 10 crimes) are women. (From a study of data from the Crime Survey for England and Wales, a nationally representative household survey.) (Walby & Towers, 2018)
In the year ending March 2019, the majority of defendants in domestic abuse-related prosecutions were men (92%), and the majority of victims were female (75%). 16% of victims were male and in 10% of cases the sex of the victim was not recorded. (ONS, 2019)

' We have enough to do - can’t men get off their lazy fucking arses and do something other than mindless violence or wanking themselves to death for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES and just do something positive for the world instead?' - exactly, exactly this!
It is men as a class that are the problem. We should be teaching class analysis in schools as part of the curriculum but this shouldn't be yet another bloody thing that women have to try to push through. I am so fucking angry and sad about it all. It just grinds you down and I despair for our daughters.

I've just complained to the BBC about their reporting of the story. The idea yesterday about a running total of this awfulness given in reports to add context of the scale of this, was an excellent one. Sorry, can't remember whose it was...

Saying men are the problem means men as a class.

We know it doesn’t mean we don’t know lots of utterly wonderful ones.

But the irritation in rl or online when we use men to mean the class of men and don’t punctuate that with we love our great husbands/brothers/friends and so in is huge. It’s like the accusation that they belong to the class that’s the problem is worse than the lived reality of those of us victims of that class.

Imho if they really are decent, non misogynistic men they won’t feel the need to take offence when we use men to mean the class of men. It’s the difference between decent guys who are willing to take ownership of male misogyny, even if they don’t act this way themselves, and recognise that passively allowing other men to act this way is as much part of the problem as the guys enacting the violence and misogyny, and the supposedly decent guys who will think it’s not their problem when other men do this, because they don’t do it. There’s a lot of the latter and they simply don’t think enough of women to use their power and privilege to address the violence of the class of men.

There’s so so many of the latter group about. Which is why the most guys are good guys is bullshit.

But the irritation in rl or online when we use men to mean the class of men and don’t punctuate that with we love our great husbands/brothers/friends and so in is huge. It’s like the accusation that they belong to the class that’s the problem is worse than the lived reality of those of us victims of that class.

Exactly. Why is it always necessary to spell this out?

Yes @Mittens030869

Yes. Agree. Sick to fucking death.