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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DSIL snarky comments re my car me or being there for 2 days in Lockdown?

156 replies

FeckenLD3 · 05/02/2021 12:32

We live right by a nature reserve, lots of dog walkers, DSIL is one. She is rather, umm, curious, about goings on.

My car wasn't outside the house from Monday 9am till Tuesday evening.

She's messaged me to ask why 😵.

AIBU to tell her to mfyfob?

OP posts:
littlepattilou · 05/02/2021 15:15

@FeckenLD3

My thread was nothing do to with my entitlement to break Lockdown rules. It was about how to reply to curious SIL.

So it's not a drip feed, just further info to help after thread evolved, and PPs comments warranted my pertinent info.

HTH

You spoke about your SIL wondering why your car was not outside your house for 2 days during a national lockdown, and I gave my opinion, as everyone else has.

HTH!

Weaveron · 05/02/2021 15:16

@pooopypants

Please reply with "we lent it to a couple who were going dogging and they left the back seat in quite a state. It took them a while to track down a valet service that's still open during lockdown"

Please. Pretty please?

I was going to suggest that the OP mention a dogging situation. Great minds. Grin
FenEel · 05/02/2021 15:18

I also think this is a perfectly normal question to ask a member of your family. Is there a list of allowed questions your SIL is OK to ask you OP, or would you rather she didn't contact you at all?

Whythesadface · 05/02/2021 15:19

Tell her your so sex starved, drove to DHs hotel and jumped on his sorry arse.
Then look her straight in the eye.

cooldarkroom · 05/02/2021 15:23

My DD has this all the time with my MIL, they live on the same property. Only she asks my H & he asks me... Why isn't her car there ? Who's car was that? Did she have someone staying overnight ? ..
It's so invasive, I usually reply "why do you ask?" It drives me F'ing Mental

Thisseatisnotavailable · 05/02/2021 15:23

Why was it a snarky comment? What did she say?

LochJessMonster · 05/02/2021 15:27

What does ‘mfyfob’ stand for??

I assume ‘mind’ ‘own’ ‘business’ and some ‘fucks’ in there but can’t get it to make sense Blush

LionLily · 05/02/2021 15:30

I'd just reply that I spent the night at a hotel with a man. It's not a lie.

See how long it takes her to tell your husband. We could have a sweepstake. I say 32 minutes for the text, 37 minutes for the phone call.

alienspiderbee · 05/02/2021 15:30

When I worked away I've managed to leave my bag containing wallet and a suitcase containing all my clothes for the week (2 separate occasions). Luckily I could get cash out with my phone and visit Primark to get clothes. Luckily I had a desktop computer and laptop only for home use or I'm sure I would have forgotten that too at some point.

2pinkginsplease · 05/02/2021 15:31

Surely if she had been worried sil would have asked if everything was ok as she had noticed the car wasn’t parked there.

She’s just being a nosey bugger!

AprilThe8th · 05/02/2021 15:35

The reason my car wasn't there is because I've heavily got into dogging while dh is working away.I need your support with this do you know of any help groups I could join?

wheretonow123 · 05/02/2021 15:39

First of all it really is none of her business and I think that I would ignore it and if she persists just say "ask your brother".

I am a bit surprised that your husband did not come up and meet you half way - I have done that in the past when leaving something behind. Considering that you also work for the company you probably did make a good call to take advantage of the situation - and I think small breaks of the rules in cases like this are ok.

TurquoiseDragon · 05/02/2021 15:42

@FenEel

I also think this is a perfectly normal question to ask a member of your family. Is there a list of allowed questions your SIL is OK to ask you OP, or would you rather she didn't contact you at all?
In order for the SIL to have noticed the car wasn't there for 2 days, the SIL must have been back and forth checking the house out to be able to be certain.

That's what really pushes this into nosy parker territory, and why the question was intrusive. It does suggest the SIL is keeping tabs on OP.

hansgrueber · 05/02/2021 16:08

Years ago in our youth I went to a party with a group, OH didn't want to go. Next day quite a few people who'd been there let him know that I had looked to be enjoying myself. He furrowed his brow and said, You're mistaken she was baby-sitting for....... . Shut them up quickly.

FenEel · 05/02/2021 17:00

In order for the SIL to have noticed the car wasn't there for 2 days, the SIL must have been back and forth checking the house out to be able to be certain.

Not really. OP says she lives by a nature reserve, there are lots of dog walkers passing by and SIL is one. If I walked past my sister or friend’s house every day, and noticed their car wasn’t there for a few days, I would be mildly interested and maybe ask why.

LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow · 05/02/2021 17:37

I am with the pp who said to give dh the heads up, and see how long it takes her to drop your absence in their conversation
and prime him to act dumb and say he will ask you and let her know...

just see how long it takes for her to re ask.

Crankley · 05/02/2021 18:22

I would tell her 'I would love to tell you but I've been sworn to secrecy, sorry.' That should drive her mad and stop being so nosy.

goldenzog · 05/02/2021 18:27

Why wouldn't you just tell her?!!
She probably doesn't care. She's just making conversation/keeping in touch!

Shelby2010 · 05/02/2021 18:30

Play it cool and just say ‘Wasn’t it? I expect I was at the shops or something.’

Tip off DH to say ‘You must be wrong. She didn’t mention the car when I spoke to her that night.’

If she asks more reply with ‘I don’t know what you mean. Of course I was home.’ Until she has to admit she was stalking you. THEN say, ‘DH was away so I thought I’d visit a friend. It’s ok because they live alone & are allowed to bubble with someone....’

Nacknick · 05/02/2021 21:02

@Cadent well I’ve never forgotten my laptop when working away from home... 🙄

ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown · 05/02/2021 21:06

Maybe she is being nosy so she can find out whether to judge you for an long and unnecessary journey?
You can't start a thread during a lockdown describing this and expecting posters not to comment on it btw.

mygenericusername · 05/02/2021 21:13

as well as a gross breach of lockdown rules...

Erm no it wasn’t actually. It was essential travel for work purposes. Have you ordered anything online in the last 12 months? If so don’t be such a bloody hypocrite.

42andcounting · 05/02/2021 22:32

Depends how much you want to goad her really......

"Nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about" is both patronising and dismissive I find Grin

FrangipaniBlue · 05/02/2021 22:46

@Sally872

Why is it not OK to chat to your sil?

If i noticed my family not around for a few days I would ask them what they have been up to. Because I am interested, not judging or nosey and also because there isn't much else to chat about.

My SIL used to live directly opposite me, if I noticed her car gone for a couple of days no way would I ask where she's been, that's just nosey!

A general "been up to much lately" might cone up in conversation but "I noticed your car was gone for 2 day, where were you?" Is odd and quite frankly, a bit stalkerish Confused

Blancsav · 05/02/2021 23:01

I'd be tempted to insist I was there for her full identified timeframe. Then see how long it took for her to contact your DH.

I live beside my in laws (rural farming). They are lovely and sweet and wouldn't dream of checking up on me. But saying I have to go to work (frontline NHS at random times) they've more than likely decided they can trust me by now and I'm not skedaddling for nefarious reasons.