DSIL snarky comments re my car me or being there for 2 days in Lockdown?

[FeckenLD3]

We live right by a nature reserve, lots of dog walkers, DSIL is one. She is rather, umm, curious, about goings on.

My car wasn't outside the house from Monday 9am till Tuesday evening.

She's messaged me to ask why 😵.

AIBU to tell her to mfyfob?

Tell her you were at an all night orgy.

I'm not sure I'd even notice something like this, but if I did I would (a) thing vaguely "the car's probably being repaired" and (b) move on to something more interesting.

It's lockdown, I chat sometimes to dh about the neighbours' comings and goings (even more now we have a ring doorbell ) as there is feck all else to talk about.

Why wasn’t your car there?

Well, you've piqued everyone's interest now
Where were you?

Where were you OP .... overnight!!

I can’t see the problem, unless this is part of a bigger picture. Maybe it comes from a place of concern rather then being negative

Also interested where you were

Why was she sat looking at your parking spot overnight..... didn't it occur to her that you could have just been out twice?

You were gone a long time op 🤔

Yeah, I am really going to need to know where you were!!

I'd probably wonder why a relative was gone for two days in a lockdown 🤷‍♀️ my first thought would be if you were okay rather than if you were breaking the roooolz

I would assume it was at the local garage.

Just say 'oh you noticed, please don't tell anybody, but I visited my lover for a couple of days'. Should get her imagination going.

And OP where where you?

Oh, nothing exciting. I just fancied a few hours of tantric sex and molly...

Were even.

Local garage is my bet too, but just so boring, you need to milk this.

You lot 😂 nosey vipers.

DH works away. He forgot his laptop so I drive to take it to him and as it's a 5 hour journey I wasn't willing to drive back same day

Drove**

Are you sure it was snarky or was she just making conversation?

I want to know where you were and I’m not even related to you.

Maybe she wondered if you were making a non-essential journey during a lockdown?

So boring.

No non-marital sex shizzle involved.

See in our family (even extended) I would have told everyone that my Dh had forgotten his laptop and I - being the lovely person I am- had to drive 5 hours to get it to him.

I may even call him a knob, especially to his sister.

Drive her mad.

Respond with “was it?”

That’s actually quite an interesting story (by the low standards of Lockdown 3). She’ll be glad she asked.