Page 3 | What my manager said?

Dipsandcrisps · 2021-02-05T02:27:19+00:00

I have gone back to work (off maternity leave) this week and have been told that i cannot work from home unless I put my baby in a nursery, no nursery local to me is taking on any new children and with lockdown they have limited slots as it is. My manager has said I need to go part time (husband is home part of the week and can watch baby) as I cannot work at home if there is no one else there to watch the baby? Aibu in thinking this would be the norm in pre-covid times and currently a lot of parents are working at home with children in their care? Obviously if we weren’t in the middle of a pandemic my baby would be in a nursery before I went back to work.. So confused with where I stand?

Aprilx · 05/02/2021 07:45

@Yummymummy2020

Op I can share my experience. I am working from home as currently pregnant and high risk. My baby is just going 13 months. It is doable depending on the baby and of course the work you are doing. My baby naps for two hours in my work day, so that frees up time. My partner is working from home too so that does help a lot though. It is hard and EVERYTHING has to be left ready the night before but you have to do what you have to do. My job is just admin work so I am able to get a good amount done and chat with baby read books in between ect and changing nappies. These are exceptional circumstances and not something I would normally chose to do, but for a balanced view in our case it is working great. My advice would be to try it, your employer should give you a chance to!

The point is her manager will not allow OP to try this and they do not need to give it a chance.

RosesAndHellebores · 05/02/2021 07:45

Ask to be flexible furloughed for childcare reasons. This is a non issue.

Zen88 · 05/02/2021 07:45

You should ring the pregnant then screwed helpline to see what they advise

LordEmsworth · 05/02/2021 07:53

The OP is 100% reasonable to ask for flexibility in this specific situation.

As a general rule I would agree that you can't work from home with kids; but right now, half my team are doing so, with children from 9ish months up to older teenagers. Prior to Covid that wouldn't have happened, and we're all hoping that one day we can go back to that. But right now it would be ridiculous to insist on it!

@Dipsandcrisps, your employer is saying you have to take leave because you can't work as a result of coronavirus; so maybe you need to speak to them about flexible furlough for childcare? workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/coronavirus-schools/ - so you can ask to be furloughed for those 2 days (or indeed your DH can, and you can work full time...)

Affor · 05/02/2021 07:53

@Dipsandcrisps

Sorry I didn’t address the childminder and bubble questions, there’s no childminder locally or nanny that are working, there is 1 that I found but she’s over an hours drive and wants the baby to be dropped off there that would be 6 hours travel a day to drop baby then back to work, then to pick baby and back home, I find that unmanageable. We haven’t bubbled with anyone as both families are vulnerable, there’s my brother and sil but they are not following guidelines and I don’t want the baby to stay with them.

OP you must live somewhere incredibly remote? Is there anyone else nearby with a similar hard baby you could ask what they're doing?

LadyGAgain · 05/02/2021 07:54

I feel very sad for you and the lack of compassion from your employer (and some responses on here). You clearly put everything in place to have baby in nursery.

I am an employer. We have got many parents at home with a wide range of ages of kids. All the work is getting done. People are flexing some hours and the work ethic is very high. If children appear on a call, so what. Customers are humans and understand we are in a pandemic.

Have you considered a childminder? Even a few hours 11-3?

I think you should set out in writing your plan with your manager and ask them to afford you the courtesy of demonstrating that you CAN work whilst making alternative plans.

Good luck.

Caterinaballerina · 05/02/2021 07:55

Could you use some of your accrued annual leave to create a part time working pattern for a decent chunk of time when you first get back? Even half days for the days you will be waiting for your DH to get home and take over? To allow time for the nursery place to open back up?

Lockandtees · 05/02/2021 07:58

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

AnaisNun · 05/02/2021 08:00

Request furlough. You are well within your rights and will probably be better off financially than working p/t

Ineedsleepzz · 05/02/2021 08:01

This is such an awkward position to be in.

I would have thought your work would be more accommodating too. Could they furlough you on the 2 days a week? It's hardly your fault that the nursery etc has fallen through.

Do you have any friends who could be at the house with you to help out while you work?

I think I would lie to them and say you have childcare if they won't furlough you. What else can you do? It's their fault for being so shit towards you. It would be incredibly, incredibly hard to work from home with a baby, but there doesn't seem to be any option. Your work can't just expect you to go part time and be so in accommodating. Dick heads.

Hope it all works out x

Iamthewombat · 05/02/2021 08:05

I think I would lie to them and say you have childcare if they won't furlough you. What else can you do? It's their fault for being so shit towards you.

Did I really just read this? Genuinely?

Moondust001 · 05/02/2021 08:05

@LordEmsworth

The OP is 100% reasonable to ask for flexibility in this specific situation.

As a general rule I would agree that you can't work from home with kids; but right now, half my team are doing so, with children from 9ish months up to older teenagers. Prior to Covid that wouldn't have happened, and we're all hoping that one day we can go back to that. But right now it would be ridiculous to insist on it!

@Dipsandcrisps, your employer is saying you have to take leave because you can't work as a result of coronavirus; so maybe you need to speak to them about flexible furlough for childcare? workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/coronavirus-schools/ - so you can ask to be furloughed for those 2 days (or indeed your DH can, and you can work full time...)

There is a difference between it being reasonable to ask, and reasonable to get.

What was "reasonable" (and that is always a matter of opinion) nearly 12 months ago and what is reasonable now and for the foreseeable future are very different things. in April 2020, everyone thought "a few weeks and then it will be back to normal". People (and employers) expected to be more flexible and to suck up some interruptions / lowered output because they thought we'd push past the need. Now they can't.

My own employer (public sector) was very accommodating up to June - we turned a blind eye to people doing childcare at the same time as working, providing there was some quid pro quo. But that couldn't last forever, and since then it has been clear that we will be as flexible as we can with working hours, but childcare and working don't mix. And mustn't. Quite apart from the disruption to work that it can cause, there are substantial liability issues if something bad happens. Basically, if you couldn't pop your baby / child on the desk and expect them to sit quietly and not move in the office, why would you expect that or think it safe at home?

And many employers are not eligible for furlough at all. We aren't.

Moondust001 · 05/02/2021 08:07

@Ineedsleepzz

This is such an awkward position to be in.

I would have thought your work would be more accommodating too. Could they furlough you on the 2 days a week? It's hardly your fault that the nursery etc has fallen through.

Do you have any friends who could be at the house with you to help out while you work?

I think I would lie to them and say you have childcare if they won't furlough you. What else can you do? It's their fault for being so shit towards you. It would be incredibly, incredibly hard to work from home with a baby, but there doesn't seem to be any option. Your work can't just expect you to go part time and be so in accommodating. Dick heads.

Hope it all works out x

Actually the employer can expect that is is not being unreasonable.

OP, if you lie to your employer, prepare to be dismissed when they catch you out.

I can't believe that people are still stupid enough to think that employment is a version of social services, or that it's ok to advise people to lie to their employers.

AbsitivelyPosolutely · 05/02/2021 08:13

To be honest, I'd lie.

Ineedsleepzz · 05/02/2021 08:16

@Iamthewombat
@Moondust001

Well what do you expect her to do?
Go part time and not have enough money because her employers are being incredibly unreasonable?

I know without a doubt that my employer would do anything they could to help me out in this situation. In fact they are. I am returning to work after maternity leave in 2 weeks time and they have told me I can be at home and do little work if I can't have childcare. They have said to work from home full time if I have to, or have the option to be in the office. If I couldn't do either, then they have said they will furlough me. It's disgusting that they have put her in this position.

The pandemic clearly hasn't affected either of your jobs or your finances. You obviously don't have very young children at home and are left with no other option.

Aprilx · 05/02/2021 08:21

[quote Ineedsleepzz]@Iamthewombat
@Moondust001

Well what do you expect her to do?
Go part time and not have enough money because her employers are being incredibly unreasonable?

I know without a doubt that my employer would do anything they could to help me out in this situation. In fact they are. I am returning to work after maternity leave in 2 weeks time and they have told me I can be at home and do little work if I can't have childcare. They have said to work from home full time if I have to, or have the option to be in the office. If I couldn't do either, then they have said they will furlough me. It's disgusting that they have put her in this position.

The pandemic clearly hasn't affected either of your jobs or your finances. You obviously don't have very young children at home and are left with no other option.[/quote]
It is not unreasonable for an employer to expect an employee to do their work in work hours rather than look after a baby.

If they had a job in Tesco and childcare fell through, they wouldn’t be able to bring the baby along and put him under the till whilst they work. Employers with employees working at home are entitled to the same attention on the job. Working from home is not a cop out to do half a job.

With regards to your employer and their view that they will pay you to do very little, well they are either not running their business effectively or will soon realise that maybe they don’t need you at all.

Iamthewombat · 05/02/2021 08:25

I know without a doubt that my employer would do anything they could to help me out in this situation. In fact they are. I am returning to work after maternity leave in 2 weeks time and they have told me I can be at home and do little work if I can't have childcare. They have said to work from home full time if I have to, or have the option to be in the office.

So your employer thinks that it doesn’t really matter whether you are working? Think hard about the implications of that.

If I couldn't do either, then they have said they will furlough me.

Not every role is eligible for furlough, as a PP notes, and if a particular role is key, why would you furlough the person doing it? Who’s going to cover it?

Incidentally you must know that you are going to lose this argument if you are resorting to this sort of thing:

The pandemic clearly hasn't affected either of your jobs or your finances.

You don’t know the first thing about me or @Moondust001

oblada · 05/02/2021 08:33

Unless other employees are allowed to work from home and look after their pre schoolers then not much you can say, it seems a fair enough expectation. You cannot work and look after a baby.
Incidentally I don't know where you are but nurseries in my area have been taken new kids throughout. Even with a pandemic, they are operating - are you sure they won't take your child on?

Ineedsleepzz · 05/02/2021 08:35

@Iamthewombat
@Aprilx

It's just my opinion on the situation.

I genuinely think it's disgusting the way that she has been treated. I'm allowed to have that view.

I work for the Government, which is why I have been treated so well.

I just hope the OP manages to sort things out as I don't think she is being treated fairly. She should be furloughed at the very least.

StealthPolarBear · 05/02/2021 08:37

Is your husband also asking for flexibility?

Crumpetsandhoney · 05/02/2021 08:37

Different employers are taking different position .
You can model through looking after a baby and working. MyI work has a few thousand employees. Many are mums im a mum and I manage a team of many mums. Work are being super flexible and accept that sometimes we all have babies with us. Stafv are making up hours in evening etc to cover or taking parents leave. Everyone's nursery has closed for at least two 2eeks as well.
I would contact pregnant and screwed for advice . Theres no clear standard of whats reasonable

Frouby · 05/02/2021 08:41

Try and find a teenager for the 2 days OP, lots have college and have spare days atm, my ndn lad has work set in a morning then is free, college rings once a day to check in, lots of them are desperate for cash as all the part time jobs they would have done are gone.

I agree it's impossible to look after your baby and work.

BeakyWinder · 05/02/2021 08:41

Did you tell your manager as soon as the nursery place fell through in Jan?

SpeckledyHen · 05/02/2021 08:42

Reverse it . You couldn’t take a baby to work with you, therefore you can’t work full time , full day hours at home with a baby . Unless your baby sleeps 24/7 and doesn’t need feeding or any attention of course.

I haven’t read the full thread BTW just the opening post.

foxhat · 05/02/2021 08:46

I don't think you can work and at the same time look after a baby OP. Can you ask for furlough for child-care reasons?