Head teacher doing “shout outs”

[Atalune]

Head of large secondary is doing positive shout outs for children who are deserving.

And as bloody usual it is the majority of really bloody naughty kids who are doing sweet FA! Or those who are struggling with their mental health ( I do not grudge these)

As an ex teacher I KNOW it is important to motivate the ones who need it. The ones who are low. But I am so fed up.

Dd- she really thought he would get one this week- full marks in the work, work submitted is of a high quality, she’s joined all the lives. SHe’s keen she’s engaged. Did she get one? Nope. Her friend who is doing fuck all and crying all day long and doing no work is getting them all the time.

I DO understand that those who are struggling need more. I do I do. But I am so fed up of the kids who are working hard, doing well. What about them? Always overlooked! And so now she’s crying and saying what’s the point?! It is unfair. I can’t email the school we will look like total brats.

Grrrrr, life isn’t fair.

Just a vent. I’m on the edge today.

It is unfair, why do we never reward the good students and bend over backwards to support and molly coddle others? Why are we feeding this?

Unfortunately, this scenario has been going on for years.

Tbh, I’d email the school. Explain how that to some people, it’s perceived how some people who are working hard etc, are not being rewarded and those who appear to be less engaged are getting all the mentions. Also, that some people seemed to be mentioned more regularly, and others are not mentioned at all.

What have you got to loose? At best, the headteacher will take on board your comments, and at worst, he/she will delete it without a second glance.

YANBU.
Honestly, how education is run in the UK is just a race to the bottom.

You should email them and say what you have said her, that you understand some kids need the extra motivation, but your DD who was very motivated is now not motivated at all and doesn't see the point in doing the work, I mean how is that helpful?

I actually think you should email the school, maybe her form tutor.
As a school I guess they are looking at those who are showing resilience at sticking with things when they are tough going rather than looking at the students who have carried on with a high standard of work.

Maybe word it that it would be a great motivator for her to keep going?

I have a child in both categories. And I feel really bad for my try hard child, but at the same time I can see how much praise means to my youngest who really struggles to engage

If you don't feed this back - calmly and politely - how will it ever change?

The HT won't know the impact this has had on your DD if you keep it a secret.

Always been the way. The children who work hard and do the right thing all the time don't get as much recognition as the ones who are more difficult. These children only have to do something right once to be rewarded.

The thing is this is a bad life lesson. It won't help the strugglers in the long run if there isn't a mix. In the big bad world of work you won't get any kudos, never mind promoted or a decent bonus or pay rise if you don't deliver.

I worry about the cold shower kids will have when lacklustre performance and no effort gets them overlooked at best and sacked at worse.

Your daughter needs to try to focus on the full marks as the real 'shout out'. She needs to be her own cheerleader. Much better to work for her own satisfaction than external praise.

Happens all the time. I am not talking about kids with MH issues or really difficult home lives, I am talking about the kids who are bone idle, rude and disruptive. The professional time wasted on them breaks my heart when I see hard working, polite, quiet students who never give you a minutes worry, being passed over for recognition.

As a p said giving these types so much time and attention really does backfire, because one day they will have to face the real world. Where they don't get offered a cup of hot chocolate and a cozy chat when they lose their temper, swear at people and flounce out - no, in the real world you will lose your job.

I understand how she feels but working for external recognition isn’t, in my opinion, the key to a successful life. I suspect in the majority of cases of the “naughty” kids who are getting it, it’s the school trying their best to fill a void from outside of school in these children’s lives. For children who have stable loving homes, I feel it is better that the message they are given is along the lines of:
Working hard with your own self recognition that that approach will maximise your opportunity to have choices and prospects in the future - this is what I tell my children I feel is valuable.

But it is really crushing for the lovely kids to see that those who misbehave get all the lovely treats and kind words, and they get nothing. When you are a child just one lovely comment can stay with you for the rest of your life. Many naughty kids know what they are doing. They play the system - the praise and hot chocolate is meaningless to them - they know they don't deserve it.

I think you should send a polite email. The HT might be putting out fires left right and centre at the moment and in all the stress of it might just be overlooking some of the quiet, hardworking kids. A gentle nudge might fix the problem, and hopefully it won't just be your DD who benefits as there will be other pupils like her.

It also works both ways, students who are struggling don't want to always be lumped in together either. They are not daft , they know how these things work.
Maybe being mentioned alongside actual high achievers would be helpful for them as well.

Absolutely do email them. They need to know the impact this is having on children, it won't just be yours.

Every week my dd6 asks me to read her who has earned the certificates this week, then looks all disappointing and says not me. I don't think there is any need for star of the week or anything like that really. If someone does a good piece of work, then comment on that and praise them. If someone does all their work for the day when normally they don't, great, praise that too. But to the child, don't single them out above all the others.

I'm 50 and it was going on when I was at school. It creates cynicism at best and despondency at worst.

@HowLongto2022

She is a kid. Kids don't have the maturity or confidence that adults do. They like praise and encouragement. It makes them feel secure and reassures them that they are doing a good job. If they are constantly seeing other kids being praised but not them then they are going to get upset.

Heck, even in the adult world, we like praise. I don't need to be praised by my boss but it is still nice, especially after a difficult day, when he comes to me and says "Well done for today. You did a stellar job".

Get her something. But her a reward. A small toy or some stationery .

Oh I don't know, t'was ever thus. I remember never getting a merit badge at primary school for example, never ever, when others got them all the time. I was a bit miffed as I liked a good badge but I feel like I understood even then that I was already advantaged by finding the work easy and enjoying school work, and I didn't really need that extra recognition. I try to pass that on to my children.

@Taikoo

YANBU. Honestly, how education is run in the UK is just a race to the bottom.

Yep, this. Society in general is a race to the bottom. When someone is going to stand up and say enough is enough I don't know.

Aww bless her that's so sad and seems so unfair, I remember this happening when I was in primary school a few moons ago and secondary, I couldn't understand why the kids who were disruptive got all the attention and awards, I was one of those who kept my head down, did my work and was quiet and never won anything, it hurts!
Especially when you are young, I still don't understand it and I don't really have any advice apart from sending support, maybe you could organise a little surprise for her working so hard, I know it's not the same though

As I teacher I totally get this - the children that make your life easy, are polite and hard working and bloody get on with stuff are often overlooked as they require so much less of your energy and time. Its unfortunate but often these are the children who are encouraged praised and loved at home. The reason why the so called naughty kids get more in school is often the school are trying to make up for the guidance and encouragement that the child is missing in their home lives.

Its still unfair if you are one of those quietly hardworking kids though and schools should find ways to recognise their achievements too ( i used to run a 'green behaviour all week ' reward club in Friday playtime for children who had been consistently well behaved / hard working, so there are ways to do it! Though these were ks1 kids )

I agree it creates cynicism.

This is something our school does well - by offering different types of rewards for different types of things and trying to ensure that all children get a mention at least once a term. So for DD, it's almost always about her really good school work etc. DS will get it for something like "persistence" or "kindness" or whatever. They want the children to understand that everyone has things they're good at and they're very good about actively making sure they try to identify whatever it is for each child. (it backfires now and again eg after the school trip when it was obvious to the children that some children were just being given a certificate to make them feel better! But works well usually as it's over a period of time).

It also works both ways, students who are struggling don't want to always be lumped in together either. They are not daft , they know how these things work.
Maybe being mentioned alongside actual high achievers would be helpful for them as well.

@Onamissionnow very good point.