Head teacher doing “shout outs”

[Atalune]

Head of large secondary is doing positive shout outs for children who are deserving.

And as bloody usual it is the majority of really bloody naughty kids who are doing sweet FA! Or those who are struggling with their mental health ( I do not grudge these)

As an ex teacher I KNOW it is important to motivate the ones who need it. The ones who are low. But I am so fed up.

Dd- she really thought he would get one this week- full marks in the work, work submitted is of a high quality, she’s joined all the lives. SHe’s keen she’s engaged. Did she get one? Nope. Her friend who is doing fuck all and crying all day long and doing no work is getting them all the time.

I DO understand that those who are struggling need more. I do I do. But I am so fed up of the kids who are working hard, doing well. What about them? Always overlooked! And so now she’s crying and saying what’s the point?! It is unfair. I can’t email the school we will look like total brats.

Grrrrr, life isn’t fair.

Just a vent. I’m on the edge today.

I honestly would email the school and let them know how it is upsetting your DD. I wouldn't mention the part about the children doing 'fuck all' but just that your DD is working really hard and being overlooked in this way is affecting her mental health.

Add in any praise for things you think they are doing well too.

If you don't say anything, then the school doesn't know and personally I don't think you are being brats at all!

Children who have really challenging circumstances and may not have managed to do as much I would always privately say “that includes you, you know. I know this week has been hard, but you’re trying your best”.

Totally agree with you @Atalune

And if certainly be emailing school. they need to be aware everyone is struggling to some degree and the ones still working hard need recognition too.

@DuchenneParent

I think you should send a polite email. The HT might be putting out fires left right and centre at the moment and in all the stress of it might just be overlooking some of the quiet, hardworking kids. A gentle nudge might fix the problem, and hopefully it won't just be your DD who benefits as there will be other pupils like her.

This, absolutely. As a teacher, I hate it when the lovely, diligent children are overlooked and do my best to recognise them, especially the quiet, humble ones.

@ThinkAboutItTomorrow

The thing is this is a bad life lesson. It won't help the strugglers in the long run if there isn't a mix. In the big bad world of work you won't get any kudos, never mind promoted or a decent bonus or pay rise if you don't deliver.

I worry about the cold shower kids will have when lacklustre performance and no effort gets them overlooked at best and sacked at worse.

Your daughter needs to try to focus on the full marks as the real 'shout out'. She needs to be her own cheerleader. Much better to work for her own satisfaction than external praise.

Really? I know plenty of people who bullshit their way through the ranks. Perhaps they are 'performing' just in a different way though.

I am sure this is because the teachers are scared of all the chavvy kids parents; some of these scummy mummies are rather frightening if their darling Callum or Chardonnay is told off for "being a kid" (read: murder)

I agree OP. This was one of the main reasons that I chose to leave education afetr working in the field for more than a decade.

In the end I just was not comfortable with the education system continally overlooking the children that deserved the praise.

This race to the bottom is ridiculous. Schools mistakenly beleive that by praising a tiny bit of good behaviour in a entire week of bad behaviour will somehow turn these pupils into model citizens.
It really dosen't, all it achieves is the badly behaved ones knowing they can get away with pretty much anything and still come away with the prize. On the other side you have lots of hard working well behaved pupils becomming increasingly disillusioned with the system.

This is not doing these kids any favours at all. Once they leave education and enter the real world where this nonsence is not tolerated they get a huge shock.

My quiet Dd got this her whole school life. The pinnacle was when she got the joint best A Level results in the school but the prize cup went to the boy who also won 3 other prizes. His dad and the headteacher were good mates. It was actually quiet embarrassing on prize day as the boy was at university so the parents turned up and kept going up on stage. We had a not so quiet word with the headteacher beforehand and he didn’t even know what results my daughter had got. He did however refrain from saying that the boy had the best results in the school when he handed the final cup out to the parents. A slight win.

I guess if you use phrases like ‘least deserving’ then the horse has already bolted on the whole empathy thing though eh?

I really like that some teachers on here find more personal and individualised ways to show praise, and teach too. I think zoom has made this so difficult. I’m glad my kids schools don’t use these clunky methods to bring children up, they really work on relationships instead, which I think works.

For context, at school I was the naughty one (undiagnosed and thoroughly ashamed of my dyslexia, hugely difficult home life that looked perfect to others, brother who died) and one single teacher, a old and superficially strict Maths teacher, saw me. He let me draw in my maths books, and commented on my art. Spent time helping me find my books, rather than humiliating me. Asked the art teacher to help me, spoke to me like someone who mattered. This, while all my friends were given roles in the school play, got to use the prefects room, were made stair monitors, were put in top sets. The shame I felt was monumental. But I knew how to make people laugh, so I did that, and got a rep for it. Acted like I didn’t care, even thought it sometimes.
This one single maths teacher changed all that. I have my two degrees, my career and my whole belief in myself which I can trace back to being allowed to skip maths and just draw. I’ve no doubt that some kids thought that was unfair. But what’s actually unfair? I’m sure if I had got a (undeserving) part in the school play that would have been amazing for me. If I’d been made a (undeserving) stair monitor I’d have been so proud of myself. If I’d been able to go into rather than wait outside the prefect room I might have begun to see myself as equal, just a little, instead of less than. Some kids have mountains to climb that we cant even begin to understand and mostly cant even see. Many of them are labelled ‘undeserving or naughty or bad’. Don’t we just try to even things up where we can?

For your email, you could copy and paste sentences from your OP here - the part about your daughter thinking she might get one and why, the part that begins ‘As an ex-teacher,’ and the sentence that begins ‘ I DO understand...’. I wouldn’t mention the children who have got a mention but would emphasise your child’s disappointment and how hard work and effort should be rewarded.

I am sure this is because the teachers are scared of all the chavvy kids parents; some of these scummy mummies are rather frightening if their darling Callum or Chardonnay is told off for "being a kid" (read: murder)

There it is. I wondered when the overt snobbery was going to start, although there's been plenty of it implied on this thread already.

I work with kids who are often labelled as "chavs", "naughty", "the least deserving", "lazy" etc. Very often there are things going on in their lives that the parents of their classmates, and even their Teachers know nothing about. I could see OP's point initially but some of the bitterness directed towards children on this thread is just shameful.

Don’t we just try to even things up where we can?

Not rewarding the quiet ones who just get on with it is not evening things up.

@Washimal

I am sure this is because the teachers are scared of all the chavvy kids parents; some of these scummy mummies are rather frightening if their darling Callum or Chardonnay is told off for "being a kid" (read: murder)

There it is. I wondered when the overt snobbery was going to start, although there's been plenty of it implied on this thread already.

I work with kids who are often labelled as "chavs", "naughty", "the least deserving", "lazy" etc. Very often there are things going on in their lives that the parents of their classmates, and even their Teachers know nothing about. I could see OP's point initially but some of the bitterness directed towards children on this thread is just shameful.

"Things going on in their lives" my arse. Or maybe the parents are absolute disrespectful lazy bastards with no respect for anyone and raised their kids to be the same way to blame all their faults on everything else

‘‘Twas ever thus!

Some kids have mountains to climb that we cant even begin to understand and mostly cant even see. Many of them are labelled ‘undeserving or naughty or bad’. Don’t we just try to even things up where we can? Sometimes the quiet kids have their chaotic homelives. Abusive parents, alcoholism, poverty, mental health issues. Just because a child is quiet and does their work, doesn't always mean their life is perfect.

It's been an eye opener watching her do online learning. She finishes her work in the first ten minutes, then sits and waits for the others to catch up, listens to everyone moan and mess about, listens to the teacher repeat everything seventy billion times. She then gets full marks and zero praise as "well she isn't making much effort".

Thanks for all the comments- I can’t recall which one of you clever ones said so I can’t give you a shout out but it’s not an “either/or” choice.

In work I am told all the time I should use S. M. A. R. T. targets to feedback children.

I’ve got a very difficult child (she has ASD but not everyone at her mainstream school would know it as she can mask very well up to the point she explodes) and a really quiet, hardworking overlooked child. The difficult one doesn’t appreciate the praise as she knows she gets it because she is difficult and would bloody love to be ‘normal’. The younger one gets very little praise. The one who gets no praise will have a far easier life with more opportunities for employment so I just tell her that her hard work will be it’s own reward in the real world. I do agree that all these rewards, whether for the very confident high fliers or the difficult pupils having a rare good day are a bad idea generally.

Feel your pain.

Today got a ‘stars’ email from my son’s school. Basically full of photos of kids whose families have the resources and time to get them outside, do fab home craft projects, supervise while they make lovely food etc.

Did nothing but make me - a full time working lone parent - feel like shit.

YANBU. It also annoys me how the naughty kids get lots of praise in school for not chatting or breaking a ruler for one lesson and my dd's aren't acknowledged at all for not chatting during any lessons.

@Itsnotlikethiswithotherpeople

I personally hate this (also been a teacher). I never single out children for praise publicly. I say things like “if you are someone who did your level best this week, well done. You should feel really proud of yourself. I notice that. Brilliant work”. Rather than saying Sarah you worked really hard when Molly, Hamish and Mohamed also worked hard and now feel crap.

I think that is a lovely way to do it.

One of my DC was horribly bullied at school, things stolen, work damaged, assaulted by a gang of them. The school's response was my child had to feel sympathy with such unhappy children. My reply was no you sympathise with them, it is part of your job, my child is busy enough trying to survive. It went on for 2 years and they only tried to tackle it when a governor witnessed an incident happen and a teacher standing watching doing nothing. This was a violent incident that could have been life threatening. We got an apology and a promise that it would change. Bit late really.

The damage went on for years, bullying happened in primary school and they said at uni they never ever sat at a table or next to someone in a row of seats as they were so sure they would be told to move as unwelcome. I think they were mid 20s by the time I could say the effects weren't visible, don't really know what is going on in their mind.

I have similar child, motivated and engaged with learning. These children are the lucky ones.
It's nice if the hard work is recognised, and it does, by getting great feed back from teachers. Your dd must get great feed back from teachers too. Aren't those reward enough?

I think it's a good thing that HT is trying to motivate those who are really struggling.

It's always the same.... I wrote a similar post a few years back and was outed and pulled to one side by the headteacher at school. Slap on the wrist to me

I would possibly email the teacher, explain it may appear your dd is coping but is becoming disheartened at never having a shout out or any praise and worship you are worried it may end up with her not wanting to do the work.

This is sad, I didn’t realise it was a common thing.

My SC are always getting “pupil of the week” or special awards like sitting at the special table for lunch on a Friday etc - and I’ve always wondered about it because to be frank, their absence is high (lifestyle related not illness), the academic ability is low (neither read nor complete their homework), they are good kids with nice manners and friendly disposition so maybe that’s the reason.

But they are often awarded at school and it is 100% not for their application or ability - because I hate to say it but both are massively under average for their ages.

I understand your frustration but to say the ones that do F all is not right. You don't know their personal circumstances, you don't know what work they have or haven't submitted and as an ex teacher you should also keep in mind what your daughter is able to produce may not be the same for someone less able, but the teacher may see they put more effort into it.

Great your daughter did the work. If you're so concerned for her, ask the teacher to give her a shout out or accept others may need it more than her.