Head teacher doing “shout outs”

[Atalune]

Head of large secondary is doing positive shout outs for children who are deserving.

And as bloody usual it is the majority of really bloody naughty kids who are doing sweet FA! Or those who are struggling with their mental health ( I do not grudge these)

As an ex teacher I KNOW it is important to motivate the ones who need it. The ones who are low. But I am so fed up.

Dd- she really thought he would get one this week- full marks in the work, work submitted is of a high quality, she’s joined all the lives. SHe’s keen she’s engaged. Did she get one? Nope. Her friend who is doing fuck all and crying all day long and doing no work is getting them all the time.

I DO understand that those who are struggling need more. I do I do. But I am so fed up of the kids who are working hard, doing well. What about them? Always overlooked! And so now she’s crying and saying what’s the point?! It is unfair. I can’t email the school we will look like total brats.

Grrrrr, life isn’t fair.

Just a vent. I’m on the edge today.

It's crap isn't. My DC's school do try to make sure every child gets a chance to feel proud but it's often the same names that repeat every week. It's either those who need a lot of support or those who are excelling. The more average students find it hard to stand out. I try to encourage my DS at home with different rewards but it doesn't have the same impact as being praised by his teacher or head teacher.

I'm not sure what I think of shout outs really - I do wonder whether there are other ways of doing things.

The other group that suffers is the kids that are average. The ones that aren't amazingly academic, aren't naughty - but will always end up somewhere in the middle.

I think the thing is that all kids need encouragement/incentive - especially at the moment. Don't have any answers, but do wonder whether there's away to do this without it feeling so devisive.

@Lifeinaonesie I hear you. But I suspect life's bullshitters learned that skill (& it is a skill if you can get away with it) from being called out as not working hard enough or to charm their way out of trouble. Let's face it Ferris Bueller was never going to need a high GPA to do well in life (though my guess is he would have managed to get good scores through charm alone!).

If the smoozing bullshitter had spent their schooldays getting 'shout outs' for not doing work they wouldn't have honed their skills. It's quite an art to figure out just how far you can push not delivering before it backfires. If school teaches kids they can do waay less than life will accept, it's not helping them.

Well, unless the HT has set a limit, I don't see why a child who is doing well doesn't get a shout out. If he or she is shouting out to 50 kids, does 51 really make a big difference? Maybe the HT should ask teachers to point out the kids who are doing well, quietly getting on with it, so they can be included each week. Of course, those who are trying hard, who struggle and overcome should be on that list. But so should those who just get it done. It shows that they matter too.

My DS works really hard. He's in a top set, doesn't struggle and is a head down type of kid. This week got an electronic certificate for is work in a lesson and, four days later, hasn't stopped talking about it. Just because he is achieving doesn't mean recognition means less. It's boosted him a lot and it's a teeny little email.

Let the headteacher know - he/she needs to take everyone's feelings into consideration. After all, a kid who is normally getting on well in class, could well need the encouragement during lockdown - as the teachers aren't seeing them, they can't judge so praise should be fairly (even systematically) spread around.

Honestly, I think your daughter is advantaging more from the fact that she is learning and engaging with the work on her own than getting a 'shout out' from someone else would give her. She's not doing it for the shout out is she? She's doing it for her own reasons. Will set her up much better for normal life in which you don't get a set of cheerleaders urging you on. She's her own cheerleaders isn't she.

You know this though I'm sure. I mean you can complain because I don't disagree that it is annoying sometimes, or you can tell your daughter that what she has done for herself is way more valuable from someone who will mean precisely 0 to her in ten years' time.

That should have said 'way more valuable than praise from someone who...'

Tbh it’s the opposite in our school. Same names of the ‘good’ academic kids week in week out. I don’t begrudge these a mention some weeks but it’s just the same ones each week. For mid level kids who are trying hard, working flat out but only moderately achieving as that is their level, these are ignored. Frustrating.

Her friend who is doing fuck all and crying all day long and doing no work this is the child you envy???

It’s as old as time. It’s the story of the prodigal son all over again.

Agree it’s rubbish op.

I posted this before but stayed with me. I overheard a friend who is extremely grand and confident say briskly to her (well behaved hard working) son who came out of school sad for this very reason “we don’t need external validation in our family darling” as she swept past.

ONG this is a massive bug bare of mine! At the start of primary school my son told me he was going to start to misbehave at school.....obviously I was shocked and we spoke through why he would do this and it turned out that the children who misbehave get star of the week, some had had it more than 4 times and he had never had it and it was approaching the end of the school year. I didn’t say anything. But when my daughter was commenting on the same thing a few years later I decided near the end of the year to have a quite word with the teacher, the very next week she received a certificate but the teacher made it known in the wording that it was because I’d mentioned it, it was way over the top, if the usually awarded it for say good listening or sitting well, hers went on and on in a big paragraph. She was delighted but I was

I think it's a bit shit and thankfully DD's Head not doing this kind of stuff.

DD is a hard worker and has had quite a few letters from the Head in the post, congratulating her on her work and specific parts that she thought she'd done well in. It's meant such a lot to her because it feels so personal.

@HotChoc10
That was very annoying.

I'm too old to remember anyone being ever praised in school but it was definitely a feature of my children's primary education.

When I was in school I always recall the teachers having "pets"....🙄.

All except one teacher had pets.

My friends all remember the one that didn't as the nicest.

That's the trouble, getoutofbed, you know its only because you mentioned it. Hope you avoided the end of year teachers present..

Yanbu. I explained to my daughter why this happens and that basically is the headteacher doing their job badly, but it’s well meant. She lost a lot of respect for the head but at least it doesn’t make her sad anymore.

Then a while later I made a donation. Daughter got one the next week, clearly because of the donation (I wasn’t expecting it!!) I had another chat with her and now she has even less respect for the head.

Why do people do this??!

Urgh, it's been like this ever since positive reinforcement was a thing. I remember as a 5 year old in Year One feeling inadequate because my sticker chart didn't have as many stars as the 'naughty' kids'. Come year six they'd introduced an approach where 3 children from each year group got a certificate on Friday assemblies. I never had one. Scarcely a week went by when my 'troubled' best friend didn't get one. It made me feel really shit. Right at the end of the year I mentioned casually to the class TA that I'd never had one, just in the course of conversation. She was really shocked and I got presented with a really special, colourful, laminated one at the last assembly. I'm sure I hadn't been deliberately ostracized, just overlooked because I was neither a super-bright teacher's pet nor a trouble maker. I can appreciate why schools introduce these schemes now I'm an adult, but in my youth they just made me feel like shit, and I think that's the case for many an 'average' child.

My primary kids teacher sent them all a card this week. For my DS it said things about the model he had made, and how good his reading was getting on their one to ones, and encouraged him to try some writing. It also said something about looking forward to marshmallows on the fire in the summer term, and missing his jokes.
Surely that sort of thing is much more worthwhile? He has it proudly on his seat, and all the kids were sharing them with each other in show and tell, so they all got one. Nobody left out, everybody felt special.

I think if you are going to reward children then they all should be treated the same.
Heck they are all different and can be mentioned for different things.
I totally agree, those that plod along nicely or work extra hard all the time, seem to get no mention at all.
It has always been the same though, and life isn't fair.

MsTSwift your friend has the right attitude for this sort of situation.

Having said that what a lovely action from the primary teacher Sevensilverrings and it has had a good effect.

Very very torn, I know there are people who put in perfect everything and deserve recognition, but my ds struggles and did really well in something recently and the teacher went on about it and straight after the zoom call I heard my ds tell my husband how his teacher even loved it and he was so proud. And I think you'll find your child possibly gets mentioned a lot, we hear all the good students getting 'I know you've done an amazing job etc), but some students never get anything etc that one mention (but I do totally get your point)

It is true as others have said, that it has always been like this.
However, these arent ordinary times. Even children who normally do quite well at school and find it "easy" (maybe the wrong word) to work hard and are self motivated will be struggling at the moment. Therefore, the notion of giving the rewards to kids that are struggling to behave/work doesnt really fit because they all are at the moment. Some kids it will be obvious (your dds friend) others it wont because they are still doing everything they would normally - but actually doing what you would do normally in these abnormal times absolutely deserves recognition.

It's wrong. I remember when my middle son was school refusing at 14 he had a mentor who suggested buying him films or games when he attended and I thought it was a daft idea but we were at the end of our tether with it every day. We gave it a try and hewould attend in the morning, I would buy him whatever and then he would refuse the next day. School were adamant that this system would work.
I stopped doing it when my other two kids asked why they didn t get stuff and they went to school every day.
I can t believe now that I let school talk me into doing it.

@SoupDragon Radio 1 is largely about ten years out of date so no indication of current expressions.

"Things going on in their lives" my arse.
Or maybe the parents are absolute disrespectful lazy bastards with no respect for anyone and raised their kids to be the same way to blame all their faults on everything else

My DD will never be top of the class, she’ll never be the bright, articulate easy child. She struggles in school, is behind in just about every area (global developmental delay does that to you), her knowledge that she’s behind creates a huge level of anxiety for her and that comes out in her behaviour. She would love to be one of the “quietly getting on with it” kids - her way of being causes her a lot of distress because she knows she’s different, and that kids and parents talk unkindly about her.

A bit of support and encouragement in school goes a long way to making school bearable for her - being star pupil or getting a certificate, or her teacher telling me how well she’s done tells her there’s a place for her, that she’s valuable in spite of her challenges. Folk who don’t know me or her wouldn’t understand the complexity of her difficulties and I know they make assumptions about her, because I hear their nasty gossip at the school gate.

We aren’t lazy parents, nor are we “disrespectful bastards”, we’re raising children who have more to cope with in their short lives than most adults have had to deal with. Surely we can acknowledge that praise needs to be shared out equally, for reasons unique to the child without being so judgement and disrespectful of people.

I totally agree with this actually and you should speak out. if everyone just 'puts up' with everything, nothing changes. What'll happen eventually is that the capable ones will end up doubting themselves which in turn could stop them from reaching their full potential.

@5zeds I have been at pains to point out I have nothing but support and time for my dds mate who is struggling and I do not envy her. It’s not an “either/or” situation

Anyway thank you all for making me feel a bit validated and not nuts!