To want to hear about those kids/teens who are stoically getting on with lockdown

[DuchessFerrara]

Not taking a pop at young people with SEN or MH issues. It must be heartbreaking to watch them endure the isolation and frustration of lockdown.

I would like to hear about the DC who, like my Yr11, don't feel as though their lives have been decimated. Aren't aggrieved to be making sacrifices for the "oldies". Don't feel their education has been wasted because their exams have been cancelled.

I'd love to hear about those DC who are knuckling down to their studies without too much complaint, are optimistic for the future and are - for the most part - pleasant to be around.

My two (14 and 11) seem to be taking it all in their stride - they crack on with their work without any more input from me than getting them out of bed, they are taking part in online extra curricular stuff, they are just getting on with it. They are missing seeing friends as we all are and they are missing grandparents, the 11yo especially but they are also very aware of the need to keep the gps safe. They are spending too much time in front of screens but it won’t be forever.

Not every child is suffering and not every parent is catastrophising about their futures. It’s not perfect but could be worse.

We're doing ok really. Lucky enough to be secure financially, have a comfortable home and good resources. DD is keeping up with school work, quite enjoying the break from disruptive pupils and annoying boys. She's chatting with friends and getting out for walks at least once a week with one of them, we're keeping busy and I daresay are actually enjoying the time to relax and potter about.
Her mental health is pretty good, she's sleeping well and I do feel cautiously optimistic about the future and that things will eventually get back to an acceptable level of normal.
I am happy to be able to spend this time together - it feels like a bit of a gift.

Mine are fine too (8 and 12)

They both see friends for one on one walks and skateboarding, and they’ve connected more with kids from old schools, summer camps, festivals etc through the PlayStation

The youngest is enjoying doing all the stuff you’re supposed to do when you’re a kid but somehow we’ve never really had time for - magic tricks, poker, making a go kart out of bits of rubbish he’s found.

the older one is definitely more moany but he’s been able to observe that eating rubbish, staying inside on a screen, and not exercising makes you feel like crap and getting outside, doing stuff, and being in nature are the solutions - it’s invaluable that he’s finally learnt this lesson. Lockdown has definitely make them stronger in terms of self directed learning- school work or other

My almost 11 year old is coping a lot better this time and she's loving being at home. She is missing her friends but she often does science together with one of them on the phone, and they chat/play on the xbox after school which helps.

She didn't cope well last time- I'm not sure what's changed.

Mine are doing ok, 16 yr old is lower 6th, 7yr old in year 2.

Homeschooling is getting easier with 7yr old, he's got used to it now. 16 yr old is in normal lessons, they are just online. We've all just been for a lovely walk, me and 7yr old get out nearly every day with the dog, meet a friend once a week and I think it's made a massive difference to his mental health this time around. 16 yr old chats online and has started going for a walk with ndn a couple of times a week for a 'change of face' as she puts it.

I'm fortunate enough to be doing a degree tho, so we get Homeschooling, housework and a walk done in a morning then most afternoons I study so ds has free time to prowl around in his pants, raiding snack cupboard and watching YouTube videos.

I have two boys exactly like this. They are 14 and 15 and have been great at being pulled out of school and spending from 8.40-4pm in online lessons.

The older one even took his 8yr old sister for a daily exercise walk during his lunch hour yesterday and has voluntarily played Just Dance endlessly. They have played Uno after dinner every evening and generally been brilliant company.

In March during the first lock down the elder one was a nightmare for about 3 weeks. Angry, upset, impatient with his siblings but he seemed to accept the situation and has been great ever since.

The 14yr old is chilled generally ao I'm less surprised that he's coping fine but happy to see it nonetheless.

This is such a refreshing post.
Misery loves company and l think it's a shame this forum will not allow anyone to make a positive comment regarding the current situation, without being shot down.
What stands out for me is the attitude of the parent is key. Constant catastrophizing achieves nothing and is damaging to chi!dren.
Stop watching the news and reading the newspapers, you will feel so much better.
I have worked in a supermarket throughout the whole of the pandemic, we are a huge team and as yet only two members of staff have tested positive, ( and that was through members of their own family). the staff l work with have a completely different attitude to the one on here, l am a widowed parent to two teenage boys, we are all just getting on with it, as a family we have been through alot worse. Pandemic or not it is a privilege for me to see my sons growing up, my sons are taking it in their stride, they are aware it is a temporary situation. My sons IGcses have been cancelled, but neither of us feel it's going to ruin the rest of his life, he will just end up taking them later, which means he will have more time to prepare.
I appreciate there are a lot struggling and l do sympathise, but that shouldn't prevent the rest of us from expressing how we feel either.

Lovely to talk about the other one who is doing lessons all-day every day with little fuss.

I can hear my sons laughing over their computer game right now.

S1 (21) was at uni last term, with a restricted social life (main extra-curricular still happening in private, got mild lurgy probably from housemates who - while it was still within the rules - went to the pub). He's all online at the moment - had a singing lesson yesterday which he said was better than nothing! He Zooms with friends a couple of evenings a week, including a hobby group which can sort-of practise on-line. He's always been fairly stoic about things: main worry at the moment is about the mandatory 6 weeks of work placement which for sufficient reason he's only done two of so far.

S2 (17) spends most of his time on his computer, though he's the one who made a point of Saturday family film and Sunday games night, and he went out for a bike ride after lunch (11 miles). He's disappointed about his canteen job and misses the gym. His lesson provision seems good, including instrumental, and he chats with his friends both on-line and via text. He's annoyed about A-levels and prom and the local music competition he might have had a good chance of winning this year.

They both follow the news and discuss it a bit. Sometimes they go for walks together.

We've been relatively lucky in that our tech provision is good, the teaching has been fine, we have enough rooms to be totally separate, our finances haven't been affected, none of the family has had it seriously, and we have both a garden and a sizeable natural area two hundred yards away. Two of their cousins had a tightly-locked first term at university so I think they're counting their blessings!

@DishingOutDone

I'd be interested to see someone start a "I'm coping well with lockdown - I know some aren't but lets celebrate my positivity" thread for adults - fancy that OP?!

Go for it @DishingOutDone.

There will be a large difference in how children already struggling or disadvantage manage compared to those who are from privileged backgrounds and/or have managed past difficulties easily

You’re right, there is a lot to be said for privilege whether it takes the form of a nice home, a garden, access to good online schooling, access to a computer and access to online socialising, parents who have stable jobs (and much much more). We tick all those boxes if I’m honest. But I do think this situation transcends privilege and it is possible to be both privileged and profoundly destabilised by the situation if it has not been relatively uneventful. I think @Monkeyrock is absolutely right about the question of outlook v circumstance. Everyone has suffered to a degree but I must say as someone who lost one relative to Covid early on and am currently losing my dad to cancer with all that Covid throws up in that situation and my own illness to manage, I envy those who are simply bored or ticking along (which I know is totally unreasonable of me). Not that I wish them anything less! And of course many people have had it worse than us. But my privilege and that of my children doesn’t inoculate us against grief.

I would say mine are coping well and ticking the boxes in the original OP but context is everything in the measurement of children doing well in the current situation.

YouokHun
The year I lost my Mum to cancer was considerably harder than anything this year has thrown at me. To be going through that with all the additional restrictions currently in place must be very tough indeed.

I work in a large secondary school. Some kids are really, really struggling. A few are absolutely loving lockdown (my worry for these kids is now they well cope when everything opens up again) and most are just 'okay'- not exactly thrilled about it all, perhaps finding elements of it tough at times but coping and getting on with things.
I saw on another thread earlier someone posted that "ALL children are struggling with their MH"! That's clearly a nonsense. Yes, there are certainly more children struggling with their Mental Health than there were before covid, but it's simply not the case that all children are going to be traumatised as a result of the pandemic and to suggest otherwise is scaremongering.

@YouokHun
I totally understand that no matter how privileged someone is they can experience difficulties and grief. Sorry to hear you lost someone and are dealing with another serious illness in your family.

I guess what I meant was that we didn’t all enter the pandemic in an equal position and many will have pre existing difficulties that the pandemic and lockdown is exacerbating (though for some it will ease).

My two teens are fine tbh. We rub along fine, working OK and progress well I think, no dramas.
However, I totally understand that we are lucky in this respect.

My sons older and is at university. He took a gap year after his second year and has been working p/t but doesn't feel Covid has had any negative impact on him at all.

My kids are taking it pretty well.
They play nicely together whie I work.
They do a little bit of school work each day without (much) complaint.
The other day I made them go on an "architecture walk" which was just walking around housing estates. They were thrilled to visit a different playground.
Im pretty proud of them tbh.

My DS are both at Uni - late teens. One is doing everything online, obviously not much interaction but he's grafting away. He's taken the attitude that best he studies hard now and that's probably better than being in the job market at the moment. Other DS is at Uni as he has some face to face (medicine) he's also enjoying his course and concentrating on that. Whilst it's not idea the second DS has buddied up with his kitchen mates and they cook for each other, play board games and drink together too. He's also swapped from going to the gym to running outside.

None of it is perfect of course, but they are enjoying their courses and I am very pleased how they are focussing on the positives.

Two out of three of mine are fine. The eldest had a shocker in lockdown 1 and has completely turned it around this time, working hard and getting the work done. The youngest is fine with doing the work set by primary school. Middle is really missing friends and hasn't kept up with work as much as lockdown 1.

Why do you want to hear more about kids who are managing ok?

Because I wanted some balance on MN. There have been several threads about how children's lives have been ruined. I wanted a break from the catastrophising.

I ask because I feel there is an implied criticism of children who are not managing with lockdown

No criticism. They are not the focus of this particular thread.

Apologies if that is not the intention. Maybe you would just like some positive stories to balance out the difficult ones?

Exactly. Misery loves company but so does joy.

Mine is probably enjoying it rather than being stoic, to be honest. I'm not.

He is Y11 and doing the bare minimum of work I can nag him into. His 'social' life is mostly online anyway - gaming with friends. He is quite happy to spend the days getting up late, in bed on his phone, or on his Xbox.

He doesn't feel bitter or that his life has been ruined by 'old' people. He doesn't like school anyway. He misses football training and sport, but realises there is a pandemic on, the weather is shit and he's quite cheerfully looking forward to getting back to his football when the weather bucks up a bit.

Given his dislike of school, he would frankly admit that the 6 months he had off last year and the fact that he hasn't had to go back after Christmas is worth the trade off to him of missing footy on a Saturday. He is still occasionally meeting up with a mate for a kick about in the park and he is fine.

My 15 year old dc is pretty good. He works for 5 hours every day sitting at the table with the laptop without much complaint at all. He's missing his friends of course but he plays on his ps with friends and chats to them via his phone. He is a talented guitarist and we are fortunate to have a music room filled with guitar, a keyboard, and drums so he spends a lot of time in there. He collects comic books and reads too. He'll go for a walk or a, short bike ride sometimes. I think having hobbies really helps. We are also a close, open family and enjoy family activities like watching a favourite TV show together or a film. He does miss school but is pretty chilled. It must be difficult when a child is really struggling. I feel sorry for all children right now especially teenagers.

DS 16 sometimes says he misses going out with his mates, but is fine and keeping busy with his hobbies (music related); DS9 is glad to be 'off' school and not fussed about much else, just says he wishes the weather would get better. I think sometimes there is a risk to telling kids over and over how hard it all is - in some ways it's not that hard for them; all their basic needs are met, they can read / game / paint / chat with people over tech. They know it's not for ever too.

Stoically getting on with lockdown doesn't equate to being happy not to go out and see friends. My DD is missing school, sport, friends, shopping etc. But she understands it's not possible for now and gets on with other things with little complaint.

@DuchessFerrara

Maybe it's because we have been in an area which was in tier 3 since Autumn, but round here it has not felt very restricted for a long time. Meeting with one friend outside in the winter is not the same as being able to socialise. My kids are not old enough to meet someone on their own yet.

My point is I think it's a normal reaction for kids to be finding it hard. If I was a teen in this pandemic I'm pretty sure I would have cracked on with the school work and not complained. Does that mean I would have been happy? No. Temperament and circumstances make a huge difference too.

Mine are getting on with it..year 12 and year 9. Both doing their zoom classes and their homework without complaining too much. And both left to their own devices mainly as I'm out at work this time and their dad is working from.home, so there in body but not in mind. It's harder this time too because they are not leaving the house, they don't want to go out for walks in the rain or ice, so it's a bit of an unhealthy existence really. They're not complaining, just getting on with it. But when there was something on the news last night about schools maybe getting back earlier than predicted, they were both really happy at the thought. Little loves, I do feel for them.