To want to hear about those kids/teens who are stoically getting on with lockdown

[DuchessFerrara]

Not taking a pop at young people with SEN or MH issues. It must be heartbreaking to watch them endure the isolation and frustration of lockdown.

I would like to hear about the DC who, like my Yr11, don't feel as though their lives have been decimated. Aren't aggrieved to be making sacrifices for the "oldies". Don't feel their education has been wasted because their exams have been cancelled.

I'd love to hear about those DC who are knuckling down to their studies without too much complaint, are optimistic for the future and are - for the most part - pleasant to be around.

I do agree with other posters that a lot of how teens will feel during this time will depend on their home life in general. DH and I have worked throughout lockdown, both in critical worker roles so I think the DCs see this and it helps with their understanding.

I would expect a normal reaction from my boys would be to feel sad, be missing friends and sports etc but that is how most people will be feeling but on the flip side of that I would expect teens to understand why they have to stay home etc but I wouldn't necessarily expect this from all kids as they won't all have the support they need at home. I do think they are lucky, we have ensured they have kept busy and have formed a good routine with them. I cannot begin to imagine how hard it is for kids who don't have a good support network and that's what people have to remember on threads like this.

We have been in tier 3 then 4 since the autumn so mine haven't been out much at all so obviously its hard all round!

My 14 year old is coping but this isn't his gcse year. He's getting on with his work, completing on time and getting good marks. My 18 year old has asd, so feels a little lost over what to do, his teachers have been very supportive, with lots of online lessons, phone calls, texts, reminders, but we had a coup,d of days where he said he didn't know what he's supposed to be doing now. He's back on track now, he has STEPS to study for, and the mini exams.
My 11 year old has been getting on with things, doing a lot of reading and has started her own topic, misses her friends though.
All in all, I'm proud of how well my children are coping. I just wish they didn't have to

But I'm at home with them for support, they have their own laptops, phones, iPads, and I have a good internet service. So no problems in that respect. Plus they have their own rooms and desks etc.

If this had happened to me at their age, I'd have gone crazy being stuck at home all day, every day.

Dh and I were both ill with Covid and one point and my teen dcs were great getting on with schoolwork and sorting out food for themselves and each other.

2 DS her aged 15 and 13 both just getting on with it. Would prefer to be in school and meting friends face to face but getting on with online learning independently as much as they would if they were in school. DS1 is doing workouts and goes for long walks and a few runs whereas its difficult to get DS out of the house which is my biggest worry as he normally plays a lot of Rugby and Football.

Both boys have been helping with day to day jobs like laundry and cooking/clearing away as normal.

So good to see how quickly this thread as filled up as I was starting to feel guilty that we are the only ones just getting on with it.

Dd (year 7) coping fine with school work, missing her friends but making up for it on FaceTime. Her dance classes are all online live each lesson and that's getting her through I think it would be a whole different story if those had stopped!
Ds (year 10) is doing really well with school though starting to feel pressure that he has GCSEs next year and has missed a lot of face to face teaching. He is a total home bod and bit of a hermit so socialising how he always does over Xbox. They both say they like being home and in no hurry to go back to school....though dancing is a different matter and dd would like to have gone back yesterday!!

I don't think they are a minority.
I think Most kids will adapt and just get on

My two have.

I think the more humans are told they should be feeling a certain way they start to feel that way.
It's why suicide is considered contagious.

Mine mostly just crack on with it, barring the odds day where it all feels a bit bleak.

Parents consultation helped boost their mood and subsequent engagement

My 14 year old DS is doing okay. He is attending school though, he went back as a keyworker child in May. He was alone all day while I worked in the first lockdown and he became withdrawn and stopped communicating with friends, just selectively did schoolwork and otherwise read all day, every day. He is doing much better this time, schoolwork is getting done, he plays D&D with his friends online and he is doing martial arts twice a week. It's a huge difference to last spring!

My two are in years 11 & 7 and they’re doing ok. They log on at 8.40 every morning, and stay online til about 3.30/4, depending how much they need to do after school ‘ends’ for the day. They’re a bit fed up with learning this way but are being very conscientious and self motivated. They watch TV or we play the odd game in the evenings, go for the occasional walk and do some baking/cooking at the weekends. One is missing all the sports clubs she usually attends, both miss the social aspect of school but they’re just getting on with things. Am proud of them.

Just had DD's parents evening. We relocated after lockdown 1.

Joined a local state school -300 miles away. In 6 weeks -she's top of the year (9) already in online assessments for English, Maths, French, Science, Geography and History and every single teacher says she is keen, camera on, doing more then needed and loves on line learning -written a monogue etc for Drama and was first to read it out. Level 9s predicted across the board. Very confident, won't stand others messing about and loves every bit of online learning. French and Spanish teachers want to put her in for GCSE next year. Maths -she's doing the A Level course and not going to lessons -but emailing her teachers daily.

My 11 year old has been great, no complaints at all. Does she miss her friends, yes, but she gets on with it. Ditto my 17 year old. My 21 year was upset that her uni graduation didnt happen but hey, we are alive and well and all three have the rest of their lives to enjoy the stuff they have missed out on.

Ps she was good before lockdown 1. But currently raiding my academic English Professor mother's bookcase for books such as 1984 and devouring them. Watching the Rookie and Death in Paradise for downtime. Has set herself a challenge of learning over a 1000 extremely difficult words by the end of Year 11 -she's downloaded a huge list and currently learning at least one a day. I don't even know the meaning of them !!

My introvert ds is much happier than when he was at school, and whilst he misses friends, he doesn’t miss travelling to school and his grades have improved no end. His brother is similarly cheerful. We get on, which helps.

All my kids are fine. One of them has SEN and he is coping better at home without the sensory pressures of school.
They miss their friends but keep in touch through tech and outside exercise.

My DS12 was upset this lockdown because he wouldn't get to see his friends as much and does miss school - but he's able to just get on with it. Attends all of his lessons and submits all work with no bother. Goes for a walk every day. Generally still sunny of disposition.

He and we are lucky, but he's always been adaptable.

@CallistoSol

I also think that hysterical parents make hysterical children. I heard a man on the radio a while ago talking about how terrifying and awful everything was, how his 7yo wasnt coping and was crying about everything, and it turns out his 7yo was listening to every word of his doomathon tirade. No wonder the poor child was struggling

Disclaimer: not all parents, not all children etc

Yes I've seen this play out a lot.....

I'll go out on a limb and say I think 'most' kids are fine with it. A minority actually happier, but most just accept it, miss their friends, but it is what it is.
Everyone's kids I know are fine.

But the media search out the ones who are struggling; the posts on mn starting 'my dc is struggling, anyone else?' Are hopefully not going to get many 'mine are fine actually' responses.

So, we're only hearing the worst case scenarios.

Which really hopefully, are a very small minority.

Yep. Yr 7 girl here. She's costing us a fortune in reward certificates. Probably getting on better at home than school! For a lot of kids, this really is no biggie.

I have year 6 twins. They are getting on ok with school work independently, managing good marks on tests and positive comments on work but I read dd1s English yesterday and it was frankly a bit crap. Lazy (missed words out, got their and there mixed up - stuff she'd been able to do since y3) so I'm keeping a bit of an eye on it as they are doing the minimum to get it done.

Dd2 seems to like being at home as she has a few social issues at school (very much on the edge) and I think this takes the pressure off which is a worry in it's own way.

Dd1 is very social and has a good group of friends so she's had a couple of melt downs. She's got quite cross/anxious and is now nervous about going back to school. She sees her bf for a walk once a week but it's a bit odd - they both want to meet then seem happy when it's time to come home!

But overall I think they are ok. I think we are incredibly lucky that they have each other. They do fight but also play together/share interests and tell each other secrets and worries.

It would have been great if puberty could have held off for a bit mind. Good God the hormones!!!!!

DS15 asked me if resilience isn’t genetic as he’s the only one of his friends who isn’t depressed and is actually quite happy in general. Erm, no DS.... I’m not enjoying it at all!
DS7 and DS8 are both fine too (DS8 rates his mood 10/10 when the teacher asks). Both have come on a lot academically in lockdown: I think 1:1 support with learning from me helps. Both would love to see their friends and teachers but they keep in touch over games headsets so talk to them a lot. Both feel safe (they have excessive trust in me in this regard... DS7 keeps suggesting I take over as PM to keep everyone else safe! Erm, not happening!)
DD13 misses her friends as they talk less than last lockdown but is working really hard and doing brilliantly academically. Her biggest problem is boredom.

Teenagers are also prone to wallow in their misery too. I've worked with them for 20 years. Yes they can be funny/ cheerful etc, but ask them how they're doing or if there's anything they want me to raise higher up and the complaints come rolling in. They're all horribly hard done to. Most of it is letting off steam, but if i was 15 and constantly told by the media that I was having a terrible time, my life was over and I'd been sacrificed for old, I'd totally be buying into it. I'd be desperate to tell someone off the telly.

Then I'd go back to school and complain about shit everything is in school and how it was way better at home. And that it's not fair that they're making us do exams. But it's also not fair to base it in teacher assessments, cos like, what if you're not always working hard? And Sally in 10zxab is coughing, so we should really be isolating because she looked at me in the way in to school this morning.

My 2 DS (5 and 9) are fine. They miss their friends but they get on with their school work, play together well most of the time, and haven't complained at all though I'm sure they'd like things to go back to normal. They fall out sometimes and there are times I can't give them the attention they seek but I don't think those things are problems. My nephews (all teens) are all fine too. A bit bored but keep themselves active and give themselves space when they need it.

It’s easy for them to get on with it when they are given unlimited screen time with their mates!!

Try doing it without the screen babysitting and then see how easy they get on with it!