To want to hear about those kids/teens who are stoically getting on with lockdown

[DuchessFerrara]

Not taking a pop at young people with SEN or MH issues. It must be heartbreaking to watch them endure the isolation and frustration of lockdown.

I would like to hear about the DC who, like my Yr11, don't feel as though their lives have been decimated. Aren't aggrieved to be making sacrifices for the "oldies". Don't feel their education has been wasted because their exams have been cancelled.

I'd love to hear about those DC who are knuckling down to their studies without too much complaint, are optimistic for the future and are - for the most part - pleasant to be around.

I've got DS19 (college), DD15, DD 13 and all 3 are happily getting on with what they need to do. They prefer to be at home and each are getting a full timetable of live lessons and feedback from teachers/tutor.
I do feel for those struggling, I think they need to be back at school with their cohorts but for now we're doing OK

Lol at the posters trying to pull down the kids who've succeeded in keeping things in perspective!

If your child is nothing more than just a little bot then that's so sad.

What a cunty thing to say.

Dd found the first lockdown difficult, but she seems to be fine now
She’s in her first year of A level and is enjoying her courses. She has been getting A stars in all subjects and plans to apply to Oxbridge
Ds year 11 has to be forced to study and is doing the bare minimum .

For some kids the attitude of the parents will play a part. Obviously not all of them but if parents say "look it's pretty rubbish, none of us like it but it is what it is and it won't last forever even if it seems like it" then the children will more likely deal ok ish with it.

If parents say "this is a disaster, it's all a tragedy, you're thrown under a bus" the kids are more likely to react similarly.

I've never once said that to my kids, I don't feel it. The most I can say is that it's boring. I don't think that it's going to have a lasting impact on my kids, I'm confident that they'll crack on with it and be ok. It's pretty rubbish but it will pass and we'll deal with it.

Mine are getting on with it - they have moments of shouting at Boris when the news comes on, Angela Merkel - although Emmanual MAcron is the favourite political idiot of the week.

They want to be back in school, doing outdoor stuff they mainly do but we have sat and discussed why and how stupid some of it is.

May be helped by me being NHS frontline worker and they hear my conversations, listen into teams meetings as we plan recovery, who gets operations, etc.

They have grown in ways they would not have done but socially regressed because of external contact - think smelly 13 yr old male who would have been told by people he stinks by now, rather than just his mum. 13 and 11 yr old cook supper twice per week ( so nice) self taught, sort of have learned to iron but not enough clothes to practice on.

As one of the doctors I work with from Croatia explained, lockdown was easy - we had no school for nearly 3 years - we did not go out as we saw our friends and family being snipered, our buildings were blown up randomly, not get medical care - did not see a dentist for 4 years ( has the most beautiful teeth!), no heating, little food - made the rest of us all think - this is not unusual for many countries.

We talk, do not over dramatise are honest and wish for the time we can fly home - not sure when that will be.

My DC are doing pretty well. The youngest would have normally been in creche full time but instead has been home with us, which I love. The older two have been doing school fully online -- smaller classes, shorter days, and more individual attention have all been very beneficial.

They both are in scouts so there are virtual meetings, hikes, etc. for social activities and just to get out and move a bit. DC1 has discovered game development and has joined a club for it, spends all his free time creating weird things in Minecraft. DC2 has joined a science & robotics club.

Would I prefer for them to be in school full time, in person, with the full complement of after school clubs and social activities? In some ways, yes. But in other ways we're doing so much better, and I'm dreading the return to "normal" -- I have already had the first round of the vaccine and DH gets his Monday so we're going to be well placed to get back to it.

'For some kids the attitude of the parents will play a part. Obviously not all of them but if parents say "look it's pretty rubbish, none of us like it but it is what it is and it won't last forever even if it seems like it" then the children will more likely deal ok ish with it. If parents say "this is a disaster, it's all a tragedy, you're thrown under a bus" the kids are more likely to react similarly.'

Absolutely agree.

'As one of the doctors I work with from Croatia explained, lockdown was easy - we had no school for nearly 3 years - we did not go out as we saw our friends and family being snipered, our buildings were blown up randomly, not get medical care - did not see a dentist for 4 years ( has the most beautiful teeth!), no heating, little food - made the rest of us all think - this is not unusual for many countries.'

Yes, we aren't allowed to compare to ww2 hardships so something more recent may resonate. Some countries do indeed live with extreme hardship, we are so privileged in this country that staying in and having live lessons is about the worst it's going to get for many.

Both of mine would fit under this heading. Just knuckling down, making the best of it and hoping for better times to come. As are most of the young people we know actually.

My 9 year old has been amazing. He just gets on with it himself and asks for help if he’s stuck and shows me or my husband the work when he’s finished it. He’s enjoying seeing his friends and teachers on the live lessons. That’s make a different this lockdown. His school and teachers have been amazing and very supportive. And his karate teacher is doing free zoom karate lessons too. He’s enjoying spending more time with his little brother at home and we’re making sure we go out for a walk everyday. It’s not all perfect but more good than bad. He’s missing seeing family and friends but we all chat a lot on FaceTime. I work 3 days a week in a hospital but my husband works from home so children are at home too all week. It’ll be nice when things get back to normal but for the time being he’s very content and working hard! I’m very proud of him :)

@Atrixie

For some kids the attitude of the parents will play a part. Obviously not all of them but if parents say "look it's pretty rubbish, none of us like it but it is what it is and it won't last forever even if it seems like it" then the children will more likely deal ok ish with it.

If parents say "this is a disaster, it's all a tragedy, you're thrown under a bus" the kids are more likely to react similarly.

I've never once said that to my kids, I don't feel it. The most I can say is that it's boring. I don't think that it's going to have a lasting impact on my kids, I'm confident that they'll crack on with it and be ok. It's pretty rubbish but it will pass and we'll deal with it.

I disagree actually. I’ve been pretty positive throughout yet summer last term poor provision meant dc found it harder.

Why would anyone take offence at hearing about settled happy children? I would never begrudge the relative contentment of someone else's child.

Not complaining does not mean it doesn’t affect them?
My kids don’t complain much but they do, every now and then, get upset and can’t quite articulate it.

It’s great that your child is managing lockdown well. I’m sure quite a few others are muddling through without too much detriment too.

There will be a large difference in how children already struggling or disadvantage manage compared to those who are from privileged backgrounds and/or have managed past difficulties easily.

Why do you want to hear more about kids who are managing ok? I ask because I feel there is an implied criticism of children who are not managing with lockdown. Apologies if that is not the intention. Maybe you would just like some positive stories to balance out the difficult ones?

Mine are! Eldest at Uni but due to lockdown, working from home. Averages around 7 hours a day. Enjoying the laid back atmosphere, spends time online with friends everyday. Youngest is in first year A levels, with 4 A levels it is full on everyday with live lessons. She is taking the extra time to consolidate weaker areas. Again, in constant contact with friends.
We are all working from home. It helps that we have excellent WiFi, a device each and a dedicated room for each person to work in. We meet in passing for meals and chats.
They have just got on with it and show maturity and grace. It does help that we are all quite solitary in our pursuits.

Mine are doing fine. Enjoying not racing around with after-school clubs, going for a walk every day, have the time now to do more cooking and playing card games and drawing and watching films together. School is a mix of live lessons and set work. They chat to their friends after school or at the weekend on zoom or messaging, for an hour or so, but they’re very good natured about it all.

I think a lot of it comes from the fact that DP and I haven’t had a massive hit financially from COVID, and we’ve not lost any friends or family. It means we’re all pretty relaxed and can be positive about everything. I don’t know what the split is between outlook and circumstance, but I’m enjoying their good spirits for however long they last.

From what I know from my DCs friends the majority of them are just getting on with it. Both of mine chat to their friends every day and get on with their work also as well as doing music lessons etc. My 2 are Y10 and Y8. The Y10 knows he has to work hard as its GCSE years so he has no choice. The Y8 likes to comply in general but that may be due to his autism.

DS2 has SEN and is actually in school now but only as of this month, this is due to a social issue as well as some learning difficulties but has always got on with his work well, he just can't manage with the constant changes in routine (his year group were unlucky with several self isolations last term).

I know of 1 or 2 friends kids who are unwilling to do the work and are generally causing issues however they were the same before the pandemic so its unsurprising.

Mine is doing quite well.
She has had a few moments, mostly in the beginning, but she has just gotten on with life, albeit in a different way.

She hasn’t been to school since March 2020 and she is still doing great. We actually love this form of education. Her education this past year has been fantastic.

I’m sure some of it comes down to personality. It also helps for parents to be positive . I must also admit to having the privilege of a large home with a garden because I’m sure that helps.

In the beginning we sat down and brainstormed projects and new hobbies for everyone in the family so we have been keeping busy.

Mine is Y12. She’s been phenomenal. I’ve encouraged her to talk about her experiences - missed prom, postponement of the summer of her life, as well as the cancellation of exams, for which she’d worked so hard. She’s shed a rare tear when’s she’s been overwhelmed, but this is only because she’s so conscientious. She’s missed her friends, but chats online and has just ploughed through her work. Amazing.

My kids are fine with lockdown. They actively loved the first one as it was hot & sunny and we got them involved with gardening & DIY, and spent most of the time outside! This time it's a bit more screen time but they don't seem to be that bothered - I'd be very concerned if I had an only child but mine are 9 & 5 and get on incredibly well, they're like best friends and are great company for each other. They'll be happy to see friends & go back but they're also pretty content as we are! Definitely not traumatised by it all!

Having siblings must help enormously. DD2 is very pleased that DD1 is home from uni.

On the whole it's a plus but can also lead to a certain amount of friction at times.