To want to hear about those kids/teens who are stoically getting on with lockdown

[DuchessFerrara]

Not taking a pop at young people with SEN or MH issues. It must be heartbreaking to watch them endure the isolation and frustration of lockdown.

I would like to hear about the DC who, like my Yr11, don't feel as though their lives have been decimated. Aren't aggrieved to be making sacrifices for the "oldies". Don't feel their education has been wasted because their exams have been cancelled.

I'd love to hear about those DC who are knuckling down to their studies without too much complaint, are optimistic for the future and are - for the most part - pleasant to be around.

My two eldest are mid teens and go online for lessons without any complaint every day and get on and do the work set. They wish they were at school but don’t fret about it and are their usual happy selves.

'Why is it always so wrong to have threads like this? Someone always comes on and tries to drag it down.'

Yes it's just a bit of positivity isn’t it, not gloating.

Ours are bored but getting on with it. I know many parents whose dc are fine, socialising online as lots of kids actually do these days.

Restrictions lifting soon then they'll all be complaining about having to go back to school.

I'd love to hear about those DC who are knuckling down to their studies without too much complaint, are optimistic for the future and are - for the most part - pleasant to be around

I have an 18 year old and a 15 year old. They are both getting on with school work without too much complaint (both are in exam years). They still appear to be academically ahead and predicted good grades. They are generally pleasant to be around. Day to day it appears fine BUT it really isn’t. I know that to cope with some of the big disappointments and with the lack of interaction with friends (crucial at their age) they’ve both had to shut down. They know their grandfather is dying but they can’t see him; they’ve had to compartmentalise this too - “making a sacrifice for the oldies” but at what cost? Their uncle died of Covid last spring, they’ve had to process this and seem to have taken it on the chin. This stoicism can look like ticking along fine but I think the repercussions of this apparent acceptance may be visible later. I’m not trying to put a negative spin on this thread but I’m not confident that a head down, stoic, accepting child, teen or young adult is, certainly in my case, a positive story of Lockdown.

There must be many youngsters coping in once sense but not another. Of course many will be fine and that’s a very good thing but it’s not clear cut is it? Some have had to cope with much more family turmoil than others and have coped amazingly well (given their particular circumstance) without necessarily ticking the boxes of your OP. It’s always good to hear of positive stories but though I could give you the positives in line with your OP I think I’ll hold fire.

My 13 year old has been largely uncomplaining and has just got on with things. He's not the most social of animals though, and most of his friends are from sports/scouts outside of school, rather than the people he is at school with. Scouts have at least carried on with some online activities, although his sports have stopped during lockdown. I'm not sure that online learning makes him work as hard as being in school would - maths in particular arrives as a powerpoint, with questions, and he always seems to have completed even the hardest set (and done the easier ones too to just to use up some time) about 5 minutes into the 45 minute lesson. Requests for more work don't seem to come to anything.

'This stoicism can look like ticking along fine but I think the repercussions of this apparent acceptance may be visible later'

Maybe but not necessarily. It's just having open frank discussions, yes it's shit but it isn't forever and hopefully once normal lives resume they'll just pick up where they left off.

Sorry about their grandfather, they should of course be able to see him though as he is terminally ill.

LunarSea if he likes maths might be take a look at Kahn academy online? All sorts of maths topics and more, nicely presented.

This stoicism can look like ticking along fine but I think the repercussions of this apparent acceptance may be visible later. I’m not trying to put a negative spin on this thread but I’m not confident that a head down, stoic, accepting child, teen or young adult is, certainly in my case, a positive story of Lockdown

I do agree actually and am keeping a close eye on my 'coper'

My twins are 16, in year 12 now. So they didn't do their GCSEs, and have had one term doing A Levels (in a new school where they didn't know anyone)

That would completely stress me out! But they've always been so laid back. They soon zoom lessons every day, don't moan about it. They chat to their friends online, playing games etc. They've never been ones to go out and about with friends so I think that's why they're fine carrying on online.

They do Explorers online too still.

I'm sad for them that they're missing out on all the things that normally happen at their new school, I really hope they'll get a proper year of it in year 13.

I check with them regularly that they're feeling ok, though they don't talk much, but they seem to be fine.

My 18 yo has SEN so is really missing his special school, it's his last year there and I'm really hoping he'll get to go back for the last term. He's had a few more meltdowns than usual caused by being round his annoying brothers constantly but he's generally coping ok.

I feel very sorry for children and teens that are just quietly and unquestioningly accepting things as they are. This shouldn't be the way of things - kids this age should have enquiring, curious minds, and yes, be challenging the status quo. If your child is nothing more than just a little bot then that's so sad.

As an aside I think there will be a massive backlash in years to come from kids who were told, and believed, that lockdown and the cessation of their education and social development was essential to save our country. As they get older and form their own opinions I think there will be some significant anger at the fact they were all thrown under the bus, by society, and by their own parents. (And yes I know the parents that are boasting about their compliant offspring will be adamant that their children wanted this lockdown independently of any outside influence. But these are the same parents that come on mumsnet telling us their 12 yo still believes in Father Christmas ffs.)

If your child is nothing more than just a little bot then that's so sad

How unpleasant.

I'd be interested to see someone start a "I'm coping well with lockdown - I know some aren't but lets celebrate my positivity" thread for adults - fancy that OP?!

I am impressed by my. Ds(10 - Yr 5). He does work hard all day. This morning he got up and did Joe Wicks and another exercise routine without being asked, had his shower and got dressed so he had a play and breakfast before getting on with his work. He is a brilliant child and I am so proud of him.

My kids aren't bots. I wish they were, sometimes. But they see 2 parents shrugging and getting on with it, so they do too . They know it's shit but they know it's not forever. If I dohave a moan about the stuff they miss out on, I do it out if earshot.

Mine are happier! My sixth former loves having no early start, likes wearing what she wants, likes sitting in the warm instead of an open window and being freezing, stopping work at 3.30, instead of getting home at 4.30. She goes for a walk at the weekend with a friend and chats away happily to them on Zoom in the evening.

My younger one is fine as well-hates getting the bus so happier there. She chatters away all evening to friends like she used to. All this work on laptops has done wonders for her IT skills as well!

Jovial - a child getting on with stuff in the face of a lockdown (which let's face it is nothing as traumatic as dc across the globe are experiencing in much worse conditions and circumstances) does not mean they are a bot nor that they don't have a curious mind.

Being a petulent idiot does not mean that you are a creature of wonder whose wings are clipped by lockdown either.

Our foster kids have been pretty great actually. They came to us at the start of lockdown 1 (having been before in 2019) and settled in well.
We had problems with their schools but the kids seemed not too worried.

Now they’re back in school and happy enough. I think the fact that there usual friends aren’t in so they’ve made new ones had made it more exciting for them - a change is as good as rest and all that.

At the idea of kids who are coping being bots. I bet that poster is teaching her kids to ‘research’ vaccines as well.

'As they get older and form their own opinions I think there will be some significant anger at the fact they were all thrown under the bus, by society, and by their own parents. (And yes I know the parents that are boasting about their compliant offspring will be adamant that their children wanted this lockdown independently of any outside influence. But these are the same parents that come on mumsnet telling us their 12 yo still believes in Father Christmas ffs.)'

Oh bollocks. Most older kids are more than able to watch the news or read about it everywhere on sm and form their own opinions without being spoon fed. It wasnt ever about 'saving our country', more reducing the spread of a highly infectious disease that was killing tens of thousands. Please get your dc to work hard at their schoolwork so they'll have some intelligent opinions.

None of the kids I know who are getting on with school are bots. Many of them can see the bigger picture and are working hard now to find a place in a future society.
Quite a few have done some creative and challenging things that have had nothing to do with school too.

If I asked my dc how they were getting on they would say fine. They are enjoying the lie-ins and the shorter days as they can pack more work into a shorter time with no break times and moving around classrooms. Feedback from school has been good (although seeing some of the work my youngest has handed in I would beg to differ!). However I can see it is affecting them and I would be surprised if any parenting wasn’t worried about long-term repercussions of online learning and lockdown. Although that’s a parents job isn’t it, to worry 🤷‍♀️

Lovely to hear about all of these contended kids.I have say mine have been amazing and put me to shame on the general moaning stakes!
They have 'off' days obvs and miss some aspects of school but very accepting of the situation.
Both have a lap top and a quiet space and access to a nearby woodland walk and a full biscuit tin though.
It breaks my heart to think of others with a less fortunate/straightforward situation though and there are lots of them.

Almost 13 yr old is doing well.
Cooked nearly all our family meals in spring-summer.
Goes out gathering firewood & PGing a lot.
Still at an age where he will go out with us a lot (eg., sport with dad).
Bit lonely but didn't have much social life before, tbf.
Does need chivvying & prompts on school work.

DH took over chivying this younger (pre) teen & I chivvy the big teen.

I have great sympathy for anyone (eg single parent) chivvying multiples at home.

Big teen is probably failing college & misses friends. He is basically ok I think, still.

thank god my adult DC are off at Uni/residential training, because they would be nightmares at home.

Yes, you could say our kids are bots @JovialNickname or you could say they have the attitude of 'you can shout at the wind but it doesn't stop it blowing' - so just knuckle down and ride out the storm. I keep a close eye on our DS, we talk about how he feels, we try to make things as normal as we can and he's learning that sometimes you just have to get have to gather your courage/fears/boredom and get on with it for a while.

And yes, he could feel that he was thrown under a bus by the establishment or even by us, his parents. Or he may just turn into a mature adult who recognises that shit happens to everyone sometimes. Or, of course, he could equally turn into an adult that believes life owes him a living and plead 'poor me' to everyone he encounters. But those adults have always existed even without a pandemic so I don't quite know how we'll tell the difference to be honest

I don’t think dc are bots but they are lucky to have a few things that make it not so hard, including a school that is delivering well now.

Same child different provision and it was harder. Everything else was the same.

I have lots of friends with children of different ages who are struggling. Tbh that's the reaction I would expect. I would think it strange if a child was ok with not going out and seeing friends

Stoically getting on with lockdown doesn't equate to being happy not to go out and see friends. My DD is missing school, sport, friends, shopping etc. But she understands it's not possible for now and gets on with other things with little complaint.