To want to hear about those kids/teens who are stoically getting on with lockdown

[DuchessFerrara]

Not taking a pop at young people with SEN or MH issues. It must be heartbreaking to watch them endure the isolation and frustration of lockdown.

I would like to hear about the DC who, like my Yr11, don't feel as though their lives have been decimated. Aren't aggrieved to be making sacrifices for the "oldies". Don't feel their education has been wasted because their exams have been cancelled.

I'd love to hear about those DC who are knuckling down to their studies without too much complaint, are optimistic for the future and are - for the most part - pleasant to be around.

My yr7 DD has just won an award from her head of year for 'exceptional engagement with remote learning'. She has progressed wonderfully according to her teachers, and has taught herself independent study skills. Socially, shes is a natural introvert like me so is happy in her own company but has contact with her friends daily by phone/video. I'm massively proud of her.

She is looking forward to going back to school though and is happy to get regular tests and wear a mask to protect her teachers.

Sorry. Didn't mean to imply in my OP that all DC with SN would struggle as I know that isn't the case.

Mine has SN (aspergers/dyspraxia) and has had absolutely no problem with lockdown. To not have to be in a school with over 1000 other kids, with constantly changing classes and groups and teachers whose names he can't keep up with, to not have to do PE or drama in front of others and feel stupid and clumsy, to not have to work in pairs or groups with kids who have no interest in doing well, to not have to wear a ridiculous uncomfortable blazer and tie that makes him feel like he's being strangled, to not have to try to fit in and be picked on when he doesn't - it's a blessing really.

On the other hand, it's a bit of a kick in the teeth to people who are struggling. With my children, I had uncomplicated pregnancies, uncomplicated labour, they slept well and ate well. But, when I was around people who had not been so fortunate, I was tactful and sensitive enough to keep this to myself

This is a thread specifically about children who, for whatever reason' are coping. Your example would be like going on a thread about struggling children and posting "oh, mine are fine "

Mine are fine. Upper primary. We had more tears in ld 1, when I tried to teach them. I'm live all day now, so I haven't got time. But they have more interaction with their teachers this time, so they just get on with it.

I do think they'd find it harder if they were 16. Jesus, being unable to go out every Saturday night and pull would have made me feel destined to be a n Austen-esque spinster.

I'm actually genuinely a bit concerned with how dd3 has enjoyed not seeing other people. She's not missing friends at all.

I do think they'd find it harder if they were 16. Jesus, being unable to go out every Saturday night and pull would have made me feel destined to be a n Austen-esque spinster

My 18 and 21 year olds are really struggling. They are desperate, i mran desperate, to get the fuck out of the house and get pissed with mates. Dd1 is going back to uni next week.

My teens have been stoic and coping great. But now dd2 has started having panic attacks.

Mine are fed up with it but haven't complained that much. Both are 19, one working so that has kept her occupied, one at uni, who is now home. She has had a few tearful moments as obv her uni experience isn't what she hoped for and she's cross that she's going to end up in so much debt when she's basically sitting in her childhood bedroom studying online.

Both miss friends very much - I feel for them. At 19 they should be travelling, socialising, festivals, pubs, restaurants, dates, not sitting at home with mum and dad ……. it's all a bit shit really.

Yep same my two are fine.... 15 & 7

They go out every day, help out, still do most of the school work and have been fine!

Youngest does miss his friends, but on the whole their behaviour has improved and not so grumpy and tired

But are eating me out of house and home

@ScrapThatThen

My teens have been stoic and coping great. But now dd2 has started having panic attacks.

Dd1 had a panic attack the other day. Its much much harder on young adults than anyone else I think. I'm glad she's going back to uni

Yup, mine are fine. Bit bored, little bit lonely, but no more than that (KS2 and KS3). They get on with their schoolwork independently all day, while we wfh. Around that, we eat, cook, play board games, watch TV together. They play out in the garden, we go for walks, we Zoom family a bit, they spend too long on their phones. They miss their clubs and their sports and their friends and their days out/holidays, as do we, but we all know it's not forever, and in the meantime we stay upbeat and get on with it. We're lucky, and we're fine.

Dd5 is getting on with it, smile on her face and working well at home. Her siblings have still been in nursery and her older brother returned to school this week as he is falling further behind and emotionally struggling. Despite this she still seems ok apart from getting a little sad at seeing her school friends twice daily when we drop off & collect her siblings. It’s very weird them behind the fence talking and her on the other side.

DS is loving slacking off, he is in year 13 at a selective school and they are going very easy on them. I was getting cross telling him to do more, but his tutor has said to stay on top of work and hang on until the assessment plan is more clear. He spends hours on his ps4 with he equally lazy mates. I dont love this but a) he is 18 and b) as soon as he is allowed out again we will never see him, he spends April-October down the beach day and night anyway and he cycles to his mates and his part time job.

DD year 5 is quite happy at home with us, she loves not having breakfast or after school club and speeds through her school work and tutoring then does a bit of art and spends far too long on her tablet.

Due to our work schedules DD is really not getting outside enough which is a worry but will be easily remedied when the evenings get a bit lighter, we also both have some time off coming up. When the infection rates drop some more she can go to the park with her friends.

@aquamarine1

Ummm I never said it was just my kids *@QuantumQuality*. Are you unable to read?

‘My kids have had their lives turned upside down.’ The implication being that hasn’t happened to every child in the country. It has.

Mine are all more or less happy enough. DS' aged 5/8/10 they do their work without fuss to a decent standard and actually my eldest has really flourished work wise, I've been really impressed. Their behaviour has more or less been good. I don't think they are gal going behind. I don't feel their mental Health he suffered massively.

Don't get me wrong it's bloody hard with 3 primary aged boys, and there are plenty of times they are all fighting/bickering, but I think given everything they're all doing relatively well. I'm proud of them.

Our big sticking point was Oak Academy. Once I found alternatives for that a lot of the tension went.

Other than that I've been surprised how well we're doing. My husband died in the middle of 2019 so we were a bit of a wobbly family unit at the beginning of 2020. My 7 year old was struggling a bit before Christmas in school to the point where I was quietly looking into counselling for him because his mood was way off. Lots of tears, lots of tantrums, definite wobbly mood.

But in lockdown he seems to have calmed back down. He and his 4 year old brother play proper play! with toys for hours at a time. Massive amounts of imaginative play with pokemon, playmobil, trains, paw patrol. They'll start board games and jigsaws unprompted. The 4 year old has started reading. We're not exactly following the school curriculum but they are both learning so I'll call it good. There are lots and lots of cuddles, and I feel like this has actually solidified us as a unit where before we were wobbly.

(Before anyone thinks it's all sunshine and rainbows, I'm back on antidepressants, totally exhausted and would happily sleep all day if the children would allow it. But the kids are doing fine.)

@swg1 that must be incredibly hard

My 6yo mostly gets on with things, he knows there are ‘germs’ and that’s why school is closed and we need to wash hands, etc but he accepts most of it readily without too much angst, eg he’ll remind us to bring a mask or talk about ‘the time before the germs...’. Homeschool is tough to get started some days, and we do need to plough through it each morning so that DH and I can get on with WFH, but if anything he is actually thriving as he is getting 121 learning as he tends to daydream in class. His reading, writing, have come on dramatically with that extra attention.
He has plenty of mates in school, but he is happy in his own bubble at home with us and his sister and doesn’t crave seeing friends.
Of course he doesn’t understand what he is missing with no swimming lessons, holidays, Scouts etc, so while we worry about the social aspects he is missing out on he just takes it at face value and lives in the here and now for the most part.
We get outside more, we have easier mornings/evenings as less rushing means less arguments and scolding them to hurry.
My 2 yo wouldn’t know any different, the only thing is that both children are a little more clingy now but they’ll adapt when things return just as they have adapted to lockdown.

No implication, please move on @QuantumQuality

My 18 year old DS1 is getting on great surprisingly. He is very social with a tight group of friends and I was more worried about him than my others at the beginning but he’s doing great. In the summer he was still meeting friends outside, had quite a few garden sleepovers in separate tents! We had some disagreements about him sleeping all day and being up all night gaming in the Xmas holidays [ angry] but he’s sorted himself out now and is getting up by 9am, doing his college work, lots of Zoom and gaming chat with his mates, going out for a run most days. He’s applied for a few Unis and had online interviews (got one offer) and is quite positive for the future.

On the other hand, my adult DD (23 and WFH in a corporate job) is a bloody nightmare, very over dramatic and moody. Thank god she’s still seeing her BF (he lives up the road) or we’d probably throttle each other! DS2 had returned to college 3 days a week as he has SEN and an EHCP, really was not coping with online learning and was threatening self harm. He will not leave the house other than for that. DS3 had also returned to school as he was eligible for a KW place and I took it as I was concerned about him locking himself away in his room to watch Anime all day, becoming extremely emotional and refusing to do his schoolwork. I’ll probably get flamed for that but I don’t care.

My 8yo DD has been fantastic throughout, she’s actually a calmer, happier child as a result and is thriving. She’s learnt lots of other things on top of school work; we’ve made bread, baked, she’s learnt to sew, we’ve grown our own vegetables. Lots of extra curricular learning.
She gets up and does her school work every day with no complaints and enjoys it, she spends more time outdoors (yes even in winter) and thoroughly enjoys the time with her siblings and me and DH. She loves school and would love to play with her friends, however her school does live lessons daily so she says she still sees them. I get her logic. She does have 2 siblings and ample tech & resource & space so that schooling from home isn’t difficult for her.
She either sits at the kitchen table with her laptop or she has a desk in her bedroom or we have an office she can use.

I have the the left at home, 21 with ASD, 17 doing art in college, 12 in years 8.

All of them are doing fine and dandy. My eldest two often joke that they were made for lock down. It helps that they are god friends, go to the shops for me every few days, and walk the dog daily. The eldest doesn't really miss his volunteering as he didn't really want to do it in the first place 😂.

The middle one says lessons would be better if they were delivered in person but he quite likes not leaving the house for college.

The youngest has had a few wobbles, but she is the social butterfly of the family. She's doing lots of zooms with friends. I've a day she meets her local friends and they walk her dog in the park. She gets herself up for school, does her work on time, and submits it as she should. Often she's finished 2-3 hours before she should be (even though they are supposed to do the work in allotted lesson time) . But the way she sees it, if she understands, doesn't need to ask the teachers any questions, she can work on her own initiative and just get it done. But when she was in school she complained daily about the students that would act stupid, clown about, and water the teachers time. She can easily condense her learning into 4 hours a day and I think that's a great skill she is teaching herself for the future.

Lock down hasn't been hard on every one. For us very little has changed. I formed a sort bubble with my sister the day of the first lock down as both her kids are SEN and awaiting various diagnoses. It would be insanity to expect her to cope at home, alone every day. So I go to see her and help her kids home school. I look after them if she goes shopping. But her boys are also coping very well, despite the fact that around 1/2 of the school work is not completed by them. They certainly work better in school but they will catch up. All kids will catch up. In other countries they don't even start formal learning until 7 and they produce better results that we do!

Just following on the SEN comments - not all DC with SEN are necessarily struggling. DS1 and several of his mates are high functioning on the autistic spectrum and can find life very hard. However, lockdown takes away many of the day to day challenges they can struggle with (daily travel to and from college, pressure of being in an environment with lots of other people, noise, pressure to fit in etc etc). They can just be themselves at home with no one to judge. DS and mates all game and chat to each other online all the time anyway, tbh I think several of them feel lockdown has given them permission to do this without being nagged to go out! DS is attending all online lessons and getting college work done. Not necessarily to the standard i feel he could do it but you can’t have everything

Younger two are doing fine, my Y3 definitely struggles more and we have fairly regular grumps from him -but - he gets the work done (eventually). Y6 just cracks on, gets all work done with no nagging and then helps his brother. Both see lockdown as a bit of a win because they get far more screen time than normal. They do miss their friends but I wouldn’t say they are finding it massively tough (again, charting to mates online really helps).

My 3 are ok. They're not thrilled about it and they're getting bored and fed up but I don't have any concerns about their mental health. They all do their school work and I have had lots of positive feedback from both schools, they chat to their friends all the time and they meet friends for walks. Of course they want their life back to normal but they really don't think that their childhood and their future is ruined.