To want to hear about those kids/teens who are stoically getting on with lockdown

[DuchessFerrara]

Not taking a pop at young people with SEN or MH issues. It must be heartbreaking to watch them endure the isolation and frustration of lockdown.

I would like to hear about the DC who, like my Yr11, don't feel as though their lives have been decimated. Aren't aggrieved to be making sacrifices for the "oldies". Don't feel their education has been wasted because their exams have been cancelled.

I'd love to hear about those DC who are knuckling down to their studies without too much complaint, are optimistic for the future and are - for the most part - pleasant to be around.

Thanks for replies.

My kids' lives have been turned upside down - going from 5 clubs/hobbies a week plus busy weekends with friends and family

Same for my DC(16). That's why I'm intrigued with how differently young people cope/adapt ... or don't.

My DC has spent much of the last decade training in a particular sport which peaks (in their category) between ages 16-18. They know that because of the training restrictions of the past year, they are unlikely to compete at that level but they are maintaining their fitness via Zoom and just getting on with life as it is now. I'd have thrown in the towel!

@SoupDragon

Why is it always so wrong to have threads like this? Someone always comes on and tries to drag it down.

No one is gloating that their children are getting on with it.

@SoupDragon

I have mixed feelings about a thread like this. We are hearing a lot the moment about children who are struggling, and perhaps it's helpful to have a sense of balance and perspective

On the other hand, it's a bit of a kick in the teeth to people who are struggling. With my children, I had uncomplicated pregnancies, uncomplicated labour, they slept well and ate well. But, when I was around people who had not been so fortunate, I was tactful and sensitive enough to keep this to myself

My children are 8&11 and have got on with things fabulously. But it’s really not a level playing field is it?

My children just happen to be very lucky.

I thought my DS was like this. Until he bravely told me how he really feels last week.

He's been given access to a school counsellor, and he actually is desperately unhappy.

My kids are both ok with it. Of course they’d prefer to be in school, but they just get on with it. My nephews are the same. I think the vast majority of kids are and will be fine. There’s a lot of people using kids’ mental health issues to push what is basically an anti-lockdown, open up the economy agenda. These won’t be the people who want to actually fund mental health services for the minority of kids who will need them after this.

Why is it always so wrong to have threads like this? Someone always comes on and tries to drag it down.

No one is gloating that their children are getting on with it.

I agree. It’s good to hear all experiences and there’s plenty of threads about children struggling and parents demanding schools go back.
My kids very much look forward to things being back to normal but they and the vast majority of their friends are coping well. Some people don’t want to hear that as it doesn’t fit their agenda.

My 16 year old has been amazing tbf, he's barely complained, not put us under any pressure to allow him break rules and is doing his best to get on with school on line. I can see he gets down about it and is bored but he's been so good about it all as well

My 15yo (yr 11) is fine. She is very extroverted and really misses the social contact with her friends and her beloved extra-curricular activities, and she far prefers going to school to online learning. However, she understands that the lockdown is necessary so she is just getting on with it and trying to look. She is disappointed not to be doing her GCSE exams this summer, but she is working really hard at home and submitting her work as required. She stays in touch with her friends and tries to check in on how they're doing. She also takes proactive steps to manage her mental health, like getting out for exercise and meditating. She actually helps me to stay positive because she has such a good attitude towards it all.

Most of her friends seem to be doing ok - fed up and wanting to get back to normal, but coping overall. She is worried about a few of them - mainly those with pre-existing mental health conditions and/or with difficult family situations. She is doing what she can to support them from afar, but there is only so much that she can do.

I think it's important to acknowledge that many kids are coping well, but I imagine this thread might be a hard read for those whose children are struggling. for all those parents who are supporting their children as best they can in difficult circumstances.

My 3 teens are bored but plodding on without complaint, and making the best of seeing 1 friend every so often for a dog walk or cycle etc. We can all see an end to the situation and know that better weather is around the corner which will help.

Same for my DC(16). That's why I'm intrigued with how differently young people cope/adapt ... or don't.

I think it’s more than this. It’s about fit.

For some dc school isn’t actually a great fit for who they are. Majority it’s ok.

Same with this situation. Some will find it harder. In exactly same way adults can prefer wfh or not.

Trying to look for the positives, that was supposed to say.

Mine are getting on with it fine.

DS11 is online with Zoom lessons from 9 - 4, he's messaging his friends whilst doing lessons (they seem to be teaching each other half the time if the teacher doesn't quite get the explanation right!) and he's doing all of his lessons, homework etc quite happily. He does miss the sports / extracurricular side of things though, he had clubs etc most days a week and whilst music and Scouts have switched online, sports can't really.

DD8 is ok too, gets up, has live lesson, works through work set including homework and stretch work, has Zoom music and then settles down in front of the telly.... She will be done mostly by lunchtime, we know that the kids in school aren't always getting through the work set in the day and she's preferring being able to work at her own pace.

Both are academic and both enjoy school / learning / aren't the type of kids who'd be messing about in school. Both will finish all work in good time so that they can have the rest of the day free. Both however would much rather be in school for the social aspect, and for their sports to be up and running again, but for the moment they are both happy to be learning and are getting on with it themselves.

My 13 yo dd is the same. She's just getting on with it every day with no nagging or input from us. She has her full timetable of lessons via Teams though so I'm sure that helps. She also has ASD so it doesn't necessarily follow that children with SEN will struggle the most.

My neighbour‘s 12 year old seems to be doing ok. Especially given he is an active lad and loves his football sessions. He says he’s looking forward to everything getting back to normal but is philosophical about the situation at the moment.

Mine is only aged 8 but gets on with it every day and seems pretty happy. It amazes me as she loves going to school and hasn’t seen any friends or children that she knows in person since before Christmas. I worry she is incredibly bored and lonely but it doesn’t appear to be the case at all.

I think it is good to hear of the children doing well, even if it makes tough reading for those of us with children who aren't.

(Just not so helpful when some posters say/imply it is 'our' fault if our children aren't coping.)

One here! Year 13, not been in College since mid-Feb 2020 (CEV dad, he has asthma himself and we saw the writing on the wall).
Had 6 days back in College in September before infections here rose dangerously again and he was back at home.

Hasn’t seen another soul his age. Stuck here with mum and dad, his 18th birthday coming up. Not how he/we ever imagined it 🥺 can’t see his sister and nephew, FaceTime just isn’t the same.
I’ve described him on other threads as remarkable and he truly has been. Christmas was very tough for him and he needed very gentle handling for the period. Things picked up on 4th January though, when his whole College went to live online learning and for the first time he was receiving equal tuition.
He has received his university offers now, vaccine is on the close horizon and he’s looking forward with great hope to September, university, driving lessons and all the “normal” things he and his peers have missed out on the past year.

Yeah mine have.

DD(15) would love to he back at school but not until its safer and actually has done excellent this lockdow. Shes up logged on and working at 8 (cos this is the time that suits DS), working solidly (with a short lunch break) and done by 1.30-2. When we all going for walk. But if is somewhat more immediate to her because DS is critically vulnerable.

DS has just thrived during both lockdowns. But he has SN and is now homeschooling full time. First lockdown and him being
critically vulnerable gave me the push to do it.

Not every kid with SN has suffered with lockdown. Gone is the pressure to conform and the bullying.

There’s a lot of people using kids’ mental health issues to push what is basically an anti-lockdown, open up the economy agenda

@QuantumQuality Or, in the case of one of my neighbours, to justify having playdates for her son. Naturally, he was a bit fed up, but I honestly don't believe it was really a mental health concern, he just wanted to see his pals

DS(16) in Y11 is getting on with it. His school is quite hardcore with its live timetable, so has to be up and dressed for registration at 8.30 and school day carried on as normal, including extra curricular activities, until 5. Will have homework too. Obviously there are breaks during the day which usually results in food cupboards being raided!

The structure really helps DS, he got a bit lost in the summer holidays last year.

He is an introvert so isn't missing a huge social life, as he just had a small group of friends.

However, this doesn't mean I don't worry about him. he seems to have accepted the hermit life too well, so not sure how he will cope when all restrictions are lifted.

However, he does connect with friends whilst gaming, and school have implemented some group sessions in some lessons, so it is lovely to hear him interacting with his mates then. So fingers crossed he is not losing all his social skills.

He does spend a large amount of time in his room, but he does interact with us, and his teenage sense of humour has come on a treat, so makes us laugh. He has encouraged DH to start getting interested in football and we all support different teams, so some friendly rivalry goes on.

I know we have been very lucky so far that he still communicates with us and is still motivated with schoolwork. My heart goes out to parents and children who are struggling.

Mine are both really happy. They miss their clubs, sports and friends and all the travel we had planned but have really embraced other things, including online classes (they have been home educated since 2019 but had lots of face to face groups and classes). They both see a friend each very regularly and go for long bike rides in the woods, and have daily gaming sessions with a group of friends. Luckily they have similar interests and get on really well. Both taken up new instruments. Eldest has just started mentioning more frequently how he'd like to see more people, and they miss their cousin/grandparents. But generally I am amazed at how settled and happy they are, and I'm very grateful! They are 10 and 14.

My dc are getting on with it. Ds1 has been doing his university course from home but went back for practical lessons a couple of weeks ago.
Ds2 has had college work online and we have provided wood for him to use at home.
Dd is year 11. She has thrived. Being able to get on with her work without worrying about the catty girls has made a big difference. She often has zoom lessons on mute with the video off and uses her phone to chat with friends.
My dc still do their sport twice a week at the usual time by zoom. They have structure and routine which helps.

@aquamarine1 Bizarre. All kids’ lives have been turned upside down, not just yours.

DS is in Y11 and he's just getting in with it. Doesn't need any prompting re schoolwork. He chats to his friends on discord after school and goes out for a walk on his own every day with his music.

He's fed up and wishes things were different. But DD, who's 3 years older than him, got ME in Y9 and our/his family life changed forever then. He's seen her housebound for 5 years with no school and no social life. And that she's been bedbound for 9 months since catching Covid last year.

So he knows that life can be shit, and not always ideal. Though we are always mindful that it's not a race to the bottom and that it's ok for him to find his own situation hard. But tbh he's so chilled, he says he's fine. And DD is enjoying having him at home and he spends a bit of time in her room playing games and keeping her company.

Mine are younger (5 and 7) but dd2 loves lockdown because she hasn't got any friends she likes as much as she adores dd1. DD1 struggled last time but this time doesn't seem to be bothered about her friends, dd2 has grown up a bit so I think she's an acceptable playmate this time round.

They're not massively enthusiastic about the homeschooling but they are not having tantrums either, they just get steadily slower until we give up and leave it for another day!