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Original poster

Dd8 refusing to do anymore school work from home from tomorrow

242 replies

Northpole23 · 03/02/2021 16:56

My daughter is saying she refuses to do any more work on computer, it’s remote lessons not online until she goes back to school. She said she is officially bored, frustrated of watching videos and doing this boring work and cries. She misses her friends and the way they do things at school.

I can’t force her can I but I’ve already asked school if she could go back and this was last week but heard nothing. Now she has officially reached boredom point. She is 8, outgoing and sociable. Hates the computer and doesn’t want to do anything anymore .

Not really sure what to do? I’ve sat with her, helped her but she just gets bored, doesn’t engage anymore . She is good at things but doesn’t engage anymore and doesn’t want to watch one more video. She has been doing the work but today said she isn’t do anything from now on until she goes back 😳 maybe tomorrow she will but she seems to really mean it now.

OP posts:
Chickychoccyegg · 03/02/2021 22:10

I have 3 dc of my own, 2 teenagers, so they can mostly just get on with it, I also have a 9 year old dd, and 4 childminded dc, all school age, my days are filled up with online lessons, and trying to support school work, the kids are bored, unequaled and basically had enough, I try and encourage them to get all/most done before lunchtime so we can have fun in the afternoon (baking, park, arts and crafts, occasional movie), so its something to encourage them, and to look forward to, its not easy, I think most people are struggling a bit now, but im sure you'll find a compromise (my eldest 2 were having a bad day last week, I showed them how to use the washing machine properly, then got them to make a rota for the whole family for chores and cooking, and though those jobs are boring too, it gave them somethingelse to think about)

PickledLily · 03/02/2021 22:10

So I'm dying to know how all these model parents have managed to get a child who is having a meltdown (crying, screaming, freaking out and a bundle of anxiety) to calm down, focus and complete their work?
It took me 45mins yesterday to get DD to complete 2 simple maths questions, while she screamed and hit me. And I'm normally trying to do this in the occasional 30 mins I have between my zoom calls while trying to ignore the 101 work messages flooding in on my phone.
I clearly missed the memo and am an inadequate and shit parent Hmm

Chickychoccyegg · 03/02/2021 22:11

Apologies for the typos and spelling mistakes Grin

Chickychoccyegg · 03/02/2021 22:14

Hats off especially the parents juggling wfh, in jobs where they need to be online/on calls, I dont know how you all do it!

PickledLily · 03/02/2021 22:15

OP if you've managed to keep her going until now I think you have done an amazing job. Maybe a 'toy day' on the last day of term is just what she needs, and might be the motivation to keep her going for another day.

EarringsandLipstick · 03/02/2021 22:15

Did you miss the bit where she's doing a full time job lecturing? You can't pop in, do a bit of a lecture/seminar/student meeting then wander off and bake or paint!

Not that I think it's relevant to the point of the thread, but I did miss this - where did OP say that she's a lecturer?

As an aside, I work in a teaching role at a university. Absolutely you can pop in, do the lecture & stop to deal with kids! That's how I'm (just about) coping!

Yes of course you've prep (and I manage a team too, so I've a whole raft of management level responsibilities too) but actually one benefit is that you can manage your own workload. I'm aware other professions might have to be online 9 - 5 with a short break, that would be a nightmare for home schooling.

But I don't think that's the case with OP anyway.

30not13 · 03/02/2021 22:16

Some awfully patronising comments here... parenting classes? Really?? Hmm

@Northpole23 I hope tomorrow is a better day for you and dc Flowers

EarringsandLipstick · 03/02/2021 22:18

@PickledLily

So I'm dying to know how all these model parents have managed to get a child who is having a meltdown (crying, screaming, freaking out and a bundle of anxiety) to calm down, focus and complete their work? It took me 45mins yesterday to get DD to complete 2 simple maths questions, while she screamed and hit me. And I'm normally trying to do this in the occasional 30 mins I have between my zoom calls while trying to ignore the 101 work messages flooding in on my phone. I clearly missed the memo and am an inadequate and shit parent Hmm
I'm not sure people said this?

I've had exactly the experience you describe there. Soul-destroying. The point is, I did keep on it, because for me, it isn't a viable alternative to let them NOT do it.

Today I pretty much left them to their own devices. Tomorrow I'll check a bit more. Hit & miss.

CarolEffingBaskin · 03/02/2021 22:19

PickledLily you’re doing an incredible job. The shit parent brigade, and their allies, are welcome to come and give it a go with DD. I’m sure they’ll have much more success, being so perfect and all. Hmm

CarolEffingBaskin · 03/02/2021 22:20

EarringsandLipstick “shit parent” was deleted, but it happened.

PickledLily · 03/02/2021 22:23

And plenty of people implying it.

PickledLily · 03/02/2021 22:23

But in all seriousness, I'd love to know what they are doing that is so effective.

Frodont · 03/02/2021 22:26

@livefornaps

I don't blame her. I want to stay up all night and drink vodka and watch horror films, too
That sounds amazing
CarolEffingBaskin · 03/02/2021 22:27

PickledLily The simple answer to that is: nowhere near as much as you. They just have much more amenable children. This is probably 99% down to personality.

But obviously, children having any mental health problems is the fault of parents. Nothing to do with their whole world changing through a pandemic or anything. Hmm

TheKeatingFive · 03/02/2021 22:31

I don't blame her at all
She has it quite right
We should all (from Boris through to the poster on this thread who think not doing SPAG is akin giving your child ket and no dinner) stop pretending this is all just fine. It isn't.

This. It’s a shit show. She’s calling it as it is.

And I’m disgusted by some of the twattery in evidence on this thread.

PickledLily · 03/02/2021 22:33

I think you are right Carol.** I'm also happy to outsource my homeschooling to these perfect parents. I wish them good luck - and don't feed DD after midnight Wink

LittleOwl153 · 03/02/2021 22:35

Its a damn tough. I had a conversation with my ds - aged 7 yr 2 - teacher. He is a bright kid top end of class. She said the important thing - for him - is that he continues to learn, to have a work ethic if you like, so he drops back in when they return. How he does that is less critical. (Worksheets are the big no no here!) So we are using his Beaver badges to do some writing, lots of reading... maths is more difficult but we will persevere. I am not however having every day turning into a screaming match as that is not good for any of us!

Vegiereggie · 03/02/2021 22:37

I was sat with our youngest two today thinking what on earth are we doing. Hours and hours in front of a screen as though they are grown ups in an office. It is madness. I am trying to move away from the screen now and do stuff on paper. Prioritising Maths, English and getting outside. I do think we have lost all reason in expecting children to sit for hours like this.

EarringsandLipstick · 03/02/2021 22:38

@PickledLily

But in all seriousness, I'd love to know what they are doing that is so effective.
I re-read the thread. I still didn't see any parent saying they were acing it, or implying.

Just a lot of posters saying important to stick with the school work (maybe saying it a bit too forcefully!)

Anyway, I'm not in the perfect parent category. A million miles away. But I still think it's not unreasonable to explain to the kids, look it's not great, but you have to do it, here's why. And then be selective about what you focus on.

Starlightstarbright1 · 03/02/2021 22:42

Are you able to do more offline lessins.. learn things in a way that suits her.. i hear you have other children one wuth Asd so understand she can can't jyst sit with her.

Put lessons into baking, games, i know its a different screen would she watch bite size.

If she won't do computer think outside box

thewinkingprawn · 03/02/2021 22:45

No one is finding it easy and no one gets by without some tantrums. Resilience would be a good lesson learnt in this though. It is hard but we just have to get on with some things. We don’t get to stamp our feet and declare we are simply not doing it.

Bouncebacker · 03/02/2021 22:46

That’s what it’s like for everyone - it’s bloody difficult!

Frazzled2207 · 03/02/2021 22:47

It’s bloody rubbish. My year 3 son is very similar but does just about understand he has to do it (year 1 son not so much). We are getting loads and frankly can’t do it all so get the maths done which he doesn’t mind and then some of the rest. He also reads a fair bit. He doesn’t get “tablet time” until he’s done a reasonable chunk and gets more if he does the lot. Pretty sure he wouldn’t do any otherwise. It’s a bloody awful situation though I really feel for them.

Porridgeoat · 03/02/2021 23:01

She’s done well to get to this point. I would ask her to structure her own day with much less school work. Maybe she could read for an hour, do an hours maths school work and then complete a project like baking a cake, lunch or evening meal from a recipe, plotting a route on an OS map and walking it, watching a documentary, building a mini fairy world, washing the car, learning a new skill or chatting to elderly relatives.

Flyingwiththecanons · 03/02/2021 23:21

@Northpole23 I will admit I searched your username as I thought you were somebody else. However.. do you think your daughters emotional outburst is to do with school or the stuff going on with your partner? Give her a few days off and try and get to the bottom of it. I mean she's 8 she's not doing a phd..