Dd8 refusing to do anymore school work from home from tomorrow

[Northpole23]

My daughter is saying she refuses to do any more work on computer, it’s remote lessons not online until she goes back to school. She said she is officially bored, frustrated of watching videos and doing this boring work and cries. She misses her friends and the way they do things at school.

I can’t force her can I but I’ve already asked school if she could go back and this was last week but heard nothing. Now she has officially reached boredom point. She is 8, outgoing and sociable. Hates the computer and doesn’t want to do anything anymore .

Not really sure what to do? I’ve sat with her, helped her but she just gets bored, doesn’t engage anymore . She is good at things but doesn’t engage anymore and doesn’t want to watch one more video. She has been doing the work but today said she isn’t do anything from now on until she goes back 😳 maybe tomorrow she will but she seems to really mean it now.

@Thebig3 I totally agree.

The no screen days from school sounds like a wonderful idea!

I’m amazed parents are putting up with this.
Many children will not come back from losing so much education.

There is other stuff she could be doing though....

I think I would be getting maths/english/reading as minimum...maybe she can read to you? Or could she zoom friends and chat through doing something projecty/creative??
I would talk to the school about maybe more engaging stuff ...
Do u know some parents of her friends? Would they be up for joint working over tablets or just having breaks together...
My Ds and his best friend do some of their work together just chatting on facetime...seems to help...they usually work in groups/pairs at school....

Aren't you embarrassed to tell the school that your 8-yr-old just refuses to do as she's told and that as a parent, you can't work out a way to motivate or engage her? I would be mortified

Why would you be mortified? That your child during a global pandemic is struggling, and as a parent, you are reaching out for support?

Op, I've not read 5 pages but can you tell me if she's good at reading and is she an OK student generally?

My first dc at 8 was very competent, adored books and reading, got every thing first time to the point when she was getting really upset with homework, I asked if we could stop it for a while and we were allowed.. Other dp were horrified!!

First dc never suffered and is still a top achievement student.
So is your dd a strong leaner because if so.. Then I would not push her, encourage her to read and make a deal that she reads, maybe does some comprehensive stuff with you and concentrates on her tables for maths.

If however your dd is struggling with school work then I would attack the issue from a different way eg get the essence of what she's trying to learn and distill it into easier tasks.. And avoid the crying slog.. I would also let her off the videos for a while..

@Lampsank I think it's because as the adult and parent it is also your job to coerce your child into doing what they have to do even if they don't want to

My middle daughter is 9 , she’s struggling with home learning , she said the videos are boring and tedious , she is top of her class pre covid but she just hasn’t got the motivation to watch videos and answer questions every day , I know it’s a hard time and everyone’s trying to get on with it but we have to look at it from the kids point of view too , I try not to push her into it now as it escalates to tears so I let her concentrate on the classes that she would like to participate in , make sure she attends her daily class meet online and let the others slide and just hope they let them return to school and normality too .

Op I think if she’s expressed a desire to have a break from it for her wellbeing a break would be good for her .

She is not bring unreasonable. This is hell for our kids.

Let her have a massive break. Get her to just read and do sudoku/puzzle books. Get her to cook dinner and do the dishwasher etc. My son made lasagne on his own this week- he's 7.

Don't allow her to give up completely. You would be creating THE biggest rod for your own back. She can't dictate like this. I do agree that a break would seem like a good compromise. Good luck!

OP it's brutal on these kids and some of the posters on here have had a total empathy bypass. My 8 year old has been better this time around but she really really struggled last time (she's an older-8 turning 9) with it all.

I'd keep contacting school - more than anything else so they're aware she's struggling and have a picture of how she's coping or not. You might get no joy at all - or you might get a "we'll give her a phonecall" or something. Ours have taken time to send out some paper work packs to get them off screens a bit as well - something like that might help, or going and buying some of the right level workbooks to just take the endless grind of sitting on the computer away from her for a bit.

I've tried a lot of things - the best thing that worked with DD when she was resistant was to give her some control over it - so a list of the things needing to be done and letting her choose when she wanted to do them over the course of the day.

I know so many friends are having exactly the same difficulties with their children of the same age - this is hard as hell on them. I'd ignore the posters about how you MUST do all the school work - what the fuck are they going to do - send OFSTED around?! Do what you can but it's more important they come out of this with their mental health intact than being able to use a fronted adverbial right now.

Actually we've done a fair few Pawprint Family badges to get some home learning done with them (you can buy the badge and download an activity pack to choose some things to do for them to earn the badge) which has worked quite well as well.

As a teacher I'm bored and frustrated with remote learning and I see it in my students too. They're good students. I'm a good teacher. The situation is nothing like anything we've ever been through and it's hard on lots of us.

I would be wary of allowing her to point blank refuse to do anything, but doing maths/English at some point around other fun things to break it up for a few days is fine. Definitely speak to the teacher to let them know she's finding it hard.

Your post has actually made me quite annoyed. Everyone's kids are bored and hate this and miss their friends. Why is yours special? I'm a teacher and sick of seeing more and more kids in each day because of spurious reasons like yours.

If you think she wld be okay playing and reading and doing other activities id ditch remote learning it's a load of shit for kids.

In first lockdown my kids mental health improved when we stopped the remote learning and took them to woods for walks for hours instead.

It's really crap. Cld u let her go for a walk with a friend locally once a day (with you trailing behind to keep an eye it needed) the rules on kids not meeting are unfair and ludicrous

@Northpole23 there are most likely four and a half weeks of remote learning left assuming you are in England less in Scotland. It won’t make the slightest difference to your daughters results in high school, GSCE’s or life chances if she does not do any more official school work.
Does she like animals ? If so this book is great The Animal Lover's Fun-Schooling Journal: Homeschooling Curriculum Handbook for Students Majoring in Zoology | The Thinking Tree (60 Day Emergency Homeschooling Curriculum Plan) www.amazon.co.uk/dp/195143501X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_5G48W76D95AJFYHB2E2C?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 if not there are books in other topics.
Encourage her to watch educational programs play minecraft, draw etc. But even if she doesn’t do anything remotely educational it’s absolutely fine.

Lots of the online work is boring - I wouldn't want to learn from Oak Academy videos which is what my DD is doing.

School isn't the answer in its present form though. DD spends half the week at school and half at home on my days off and she much prefers home. School is also staring at an iPad all day but without me taking her out for bike rides at the end of the day or making a nice lunch. She's stuck with other kids she's not especially friends with and never sees her teacher as he's at home setting/ marking the work.

Do you set a timetable each day - I find this helps, especially if the 'nicer' activities are added in and she can see when the free time is coming up eg we allow an hour for lunch.

I don’t like this implication that those of us who are meeting education goals aren’t aware that our children’s mental health is at stake.

But the last my own dc need is to fall completely behind on top of everything else they’re dealing with.

Like millions of families, we’re fitting school around full-time jobs, and dealing with sickness, loss, a high risk child, not seeing grandparents etc.

It’s absolutely, undeniably shit. But our children have to learn. There’s no choice in it as far as I’m concerned.

Just like they have to sleep and they have to eat - they have to do their schoolwork.

I'm with you, @bearfood.

Well she’s 8 so she does what you tell her. Be very careful you don’t give in here-you’ll regret it.

@bearfood I'm glad my kids don't have you as a teacher. Shocked that as a teacher you can't see that an 8yr old is struggling and is being impacted by this lockdown. Yes others are too but that doesn't mean this child should be forced into learning, she is 8 for God sake

@bearfood Your post has actually made me quite annoyed. Everyone's kids are bored and hate this and miss their friends. Why is yours special? I'm a teacher and sick of seeing more and more kids in each day because of spurious reasons like yours.
Partly because and it’s not your fault , the learning provided is not engaging and “school at home” does not work. Children learning at home who are home educated would never learn in this way.

I’ve read a few of the replies op. I think people are being harsh. Some children struggle with it all more than others. My oldest really struggles with it all. I’ve always been honest with the school be be honest with them and don’t stress yourself out! As parents we’ve never had to deal with anything like the last year before.

For a lot of children including my son school is school and home is home and home learning is a struggle every single day.

Just trying your best is enough. Tomorrow is a new day and it’s so hard at the minute. 🌸

I wouldn’t worry about getting it all done. Just do the important bits - English, reading and maths etc. There are lots of educational iPad and computer games too. Will she do them? Some days we get absolutely nothing done with DS so don’t beat yourself up over it.

Also what are children falling behind? The arbitrary line drawn by Gove et al?

[quote lovepickledlimes]@Lampsank I think it's because as the adult and parent it is also your job to coerce your child into doing what they have to do even if they don't want to[/quote]
Exactly.
Deciding as a parent that your DC needs a break or that you need to switch up lessons is one thing. Saying that as a parent, your 8-yr-old is refusing to do something and you want the school to try to fix that by letting her go to school to 'see her friends'. . .It shows a complete lack of respect for teachers and a lack of consideration for the fact everyone is in a pandemic and trying to stop the spread of the virus.

@Thebig3 I've not once suggested she should be forced into learning? Please show me where I did. I'm assuming you aren't a teacher. If you were, you would understand what I mean. It's not easy for us at the moment I'm also a parent and I 100% understand the OPs struggles and I genuinely feel for the child. But do I think the child should come to school because she's 'bored'? Nope.

Is there a way that you can make the learning more fun for her??

Practical experiments etc after the theory lessons??