If my cat had AIBU...

[Greenandcabbagelooking]

AIBU to think that three pouches of wet food, two meals of dry food, some treats and unlimited fresh water just isn’t sufficient to sustain a cat? I’m so starved, I had to tell all the children on my human’s zoom lesson about it in the hope they’d feed me. They didn’t, and human shut me out the office, so I only had the whole rest of the house to run around.

How do I call cat line?

AIBU to ask why a human took this photo of me? We have never met before and no food was offered.

That my mum doesn't let me sit on her pillow after using the litter box?

AIBU to demand more food? Look at me, I'm wasting away
She only gave me 3 pouches, some turkey mince, a bit of chicken and some dreamies and it's lunch time
STARVING

I don’t understand why the human children are here all day every day so I’m going to keep going in and out all day until they get the message they need to leave the house and I can have some peace. Aibu to keep lying in the middle of the stairs and refusing to move in hopes I can get rid of one or two that way.

I don't think I'm being in the least unreasonable to insist on drinking water straight from the tap. Yes, yes, I know you have these bowl things on the floor, but that is INFERIOR. Also, the old guy likes it when I chase him round the house, I think he's lying about the arthritis in his hips. Those drugs he gets every day look interesting, too. And he smells weird when he comes back from the bad place. Needs a good clip round the ear if you ask me.

AIBU here?

I visited our next door neighbour IN PERSON to interview her as my potential secondary carer/ chef/slave. My humans are adequately caring for me but I am a belt and braces sort of cat and like a back up plan.

With no thought to personal safety I climbed through her upstairs window and made a preliminary circuit to check the level of comfort available.

I was interrupted and brusquely asked to leave before I could even use my claws on the soft furnishings.

To show my disapproval of this action I now regularly sit on the dividing wall and stare through the kitchen window. She merely lowers the blind so she can't see me.

Should I give her a second chance at interview?

So me and the choir gathered last night for some choir practice, we were in fine voice i tell you cos the hoomans cheered us on and threw us gifts from our windows. But not all the gifts were good food, some things weren't even food at all, i mean shoes are fun to chew on but would hardly sustain the choir for a whole night. AWBU to present them with examples of our preferred food, like fish and birds and rodents, we could do little hunt before choir practice, that way they will know the best sort of gifts to throw us to encourage our beautiful singing and keep them entertained all night. We'll be kind and kill the food before we show them

@OccultGnuAsWell you're not supposed to go through the window. You need to dive in when they open the door!
Sometimes it takes several attempts before they accept you, but it does work.

My neighbours grew to love me and enjoyed my snuggling up for strokes on their chair. My human was mortified to find out how I gained their love though. Its her own fault. She should have listened when I asked for extra chicken!

AIBU to think that running through the legs of a walking human is fun.

@HeronLanyon

Aibu. I hate all dogs. Can’t stand them. Don’t like the way they smell or behave - so uncouth. Then the noise they make. And they are really untidy and Ill-disciplined. I don’t care what anyone thinks of this. I am right. My human sometimes tells me I should be more ‘inclusive’ and that my views are not acceptable. Surely I’m not being unreasonable. Replies only from those who agree with me please. No dog replies please.

I totally agree. My humans brought home a big lummox of a rescue dog 2 years ago. Apparently it likes cats but it just ignores me. To keep it in its place I occasionally hiss at it when it’s asleep as I walk past. It doesn’t even notice! I don’t see the point of dogs at all.

AIBU to book a table? As in i cry at the front door as if i want to go out but my hooman opens the door but then i walk over and i cry at my bowl so she fills it and then i cry at the door to go out. I couldnt possibly go outside without knowing i have food waiting for me🤣

AIBU to ask you humans to remember the cat in the street next to the library and the shops who died three years ago last week. There were nasty humans who banned her from going into the library and when she crossed the road to visit Waitrose there were nasty people there who would not let her visit the fish counter.

Lots of nice small humans would greet her and when she died there was a mention in a newspaper that humans think is an important one they call 'The Times' about her passing. Apparently this newspaper used to be run by someone whose family must love us cats as his surname was Mogg, presumably as in 'moggy' an affectionate name humans have for us cats with mixed colour fur.

AIBU to add a photo of this cat.

snooks I’ve also been told by my owner that some of us actually get on and have good relationships dogs. ! Yet another human lie I’m sure (like saying catnip isn’t good for me - huh - I’d like to see my humans do without their funny drinks they have most evenings which make them go all funny sometimes).
I am so sorry about your big lummox situation. Awful for you. Swipe away I say. Don’t get sucked into this nonsense of ‘getting on’.

YANBU. How come you're not scratching at the office door, miaowing pitfully, digging a hole into the wood till they let you in?
How come their colleagues are not curious at the view of your chubby butt?
Those children should be delighted about the company, not kick you out.
And then let you in. And let you out. And in. And out. And in. And out. And in. And out. And in. And out. And in ...

Eerie's second cat here: I see dogs mentioned here. We both hate dogs with passion unseen. Our silly humans got themselves a little yippy thing and what a joy it was when it wanted to say hi and we just scratched it.
The problem is that it kept growing so we hate it even more now. Dogs are awful.

AIBU to demand a pouch of food 3 times a day AND eat all of my biscuits.

AIBU to steal the dogs bed and make him lay on the wood flooring.

AIBU to bring LIVE squirrels, mice and birds into my home.

AIBU to sit on your keyboard whilst you're working.

He's can be a shite but I love him to death ❤️

AIBU to insist that my human stays in this position while I finish some very important washing?

wishes you reminded me
AIBU to bring live frogs and newts into the house - often in the dead of night as presents. It can’t possibly be my fault that they wake up my humans squealing etc. And humans look funny in dead of night when dealing with them. It’s fun right ?? A game.
Been told it’s not funny and that I might be imprisoned at night or even given away if it goes on.
This an overreaction right ? They can take naps during day surely ?
Disgusted by them currently.

HeronLanyon's cat, how lame.
Try bringing a petrified mouse that pretends to be dead only to leg it when you leave it on the carpet in their bedroom in the middle of the night. Get one that's young and fast, for shit and giggles.

@GuppytheCat 😂😂

@HeronLanyon they are certainly challenging at times haha.

Everyone warned me about getting a spaniel, he's like an angel compared to the cat!

The cat laying in the dogs bed when he's got his own that my dog wouldn't fit in if he tried is what makes me giggle the most. The cheek!

Here he is, the king of the castle and ruler of dogs and humans.

AIBU to think that small humans should be banned from my Palace. They're loud and unpredictable and pat me and push my fur up the wrong way. Surely the humans should set up some sort of hatchery arrangement until they're old enough to open food packets

My Vet told my owner to feed me wet food on a demand basis. I love the Vet!

When I was a kitten, I could eat nearly 8 pouches a day. Sadly, my owner says I'm fat, so has restricted me to 4 pouches a day. So I have to eat my brother's food. He's quite thin though so gets extra biscuits.