Mixed weight relationship

[Nonimai]

Until last night, I had never heard the term “ mixed weight relationship” and would have still have been unaware had the Mail online not published a very peculiar article about a larger lady in a mixed weight relationship with a slim man ( like that’s news!). I then started to Google and realised that although the phrase Mixed Weight Relationship is seen by many as fat-shaming and mysogenistic (people don’t seem to dislike it as much if a man has a higher BMI than his partner) - it is actually a researched thing that apparently people generally view a relationship with a larger woman/ thinner man as lesser somehow.
I am a larger (size 22) plain looking short woman in my 50s, happily married to a completely in love with me, tall, slim good looking man who has a good job. He was considered a catch by both me and my friends tbh. However today looking at my life and friendships through the lens of “ mixed weight relationships and peoples apparent prejudice towards them” I have started to think on comments said to me by friends over the last 9 years since I got engaged and then married. I don’t want to suggest this is a common occurrence or that I have been in anyway upset - just puzzled and a bit peed off at the time, I suppose.
One friend repeatedly suggests that I lose weight, groom myself more or he will play away. I have been asked directly if he is a feeder. Another friend suggested we had a private small wedding because we didn’t look right together. No she didn’t get invited! - and speaking to my husband he says that business colleagues have commented on him liking larger women. He just thought they were shallow.
To me, the whole thing is horribly shallow and derogatory - do you agree? Or please be honest , do you make assumptions when you see couples where there is substantial physical difference? What do you think of the term “ mixed weight relationship?”.

As I’ve mentioned, if someone’s thighs are very big, it can be impossible to fit anything between them. Or the rolls of fat can get in the way. I’m confused at why so many people on this thread are questioning this.
But if it takes three people to hold her thighs apart and insert a speculum as previously mentioned, then the pp:s query about a massive cock still doesn't make sense unless the massive cock has hand to hold back the flesh

Never heard of the phrase but as you asked for honesty, I’ll give it. I remember reading up on this sort of stuff for my dissertation. I find it fascinating but obviously it’s general.

I think generally both partners have to feel they match looks wise. This isn’t particularly about weight btw just perceived attractiveness

For arguments sake say a guy is 10/10 attractiveness. It’s unlikely he’ll date women 2/10. Good looking couples gravitate as do average looking couples, because they know their chances of securing a 10/10 are low.

Most of us are average. Men can ‘grow’ on women even if the initial attraction isn’t there. For men it’s generally either there instantly or it’s not. It’s much more unlikely to grow.

I suppose that’s why you see extraordinary good looking women with average men more often than the other way around.

Btw this is all at the beginning of a relationship.

We all age but equally it’s not unreasonable to keep ourselves as attractive as possible. I’m not taking face full of make up every day and dressed to the nines, but making effort not to let yourself drift too far from what you were.

So if your DH married you when you were overweight then he was attracted to you exactly like that!

@SleepingStandingUp

As I’ve mentioned, if someone’s thighs are very big, it can be impossible to fit anything between them. Or the rolls of fat can get in the way. I’m confused at why so many people on this thread are questioning this. But if it takes three people to hold her thighs apart and insert a speculum as previously mentioned, then the pp:s query about a massive cock still doesn't make sense unless the massive cock has hand to hold back the flesh

I’m just making the point that, as the previous poster said, there can be physical challenges if one or both parties are very overweight. Everyone seems to implying that this isn’t the case, but it is!

Sometimes I think the man has issues and wants someone other men are not attracted to if the woman is the fat one or if the man is the fat one then I think maybe he has good money

That’s vile. I personally have dated all sorts of men physically. The most attractive ones were attractive for far, far more than their weight or the size of their wallet. And you think fat women can o lay secure themselves abusive men?

You might want to have a look at your own prejudices.

I mean, it's rude to say directly to a person in the relationship but it is human nature to match up people with a similar build. I know couples where one person is over 6ft and the other is under 5ft and they get comments about looking 'odd'.

The idea that couples have to physically match is really odd to me. What's important is how you get on, whether you hold the same values, stuff like that.

@Bagamoyo1 those must have been some thick thighs. I would say I am "very large" and since having DS I've become very bottom heavy but I can still open my legs! That being said I am going for an examination at the GP tomorrow and she asked if I managed to have them done easy enough so my BMI must allude to some kind of access issue.

I’m just making the point that, as the previous poster said, there can be physical challenges if one or both parties are very overweight. Everyone seems to implying that this isn’t the case, but it is!
I think it depends on the level of fat though. Presumably the needed people to pull her thighs apart woman was beyond morbidly obese30+ dress size, barely able to walk. I suspect as the large penis pp thinks about this when she's walking around thinking about how couples copulate she's probably seeing people more like myself, so size 18-20 and quite capable of showing our own thighs

@TableFlowerss

Surely they only have to “match” if they are both so shallow that this is their priority?

@Staffy1

I honestly wouldn't think anything of it, it's quite common. It's when there's a huge height difference that it looks a bit odd to me and I wonder how easy it is to have conversations while standing up when one has to crane their neck and the other peer down.

There are some funny perceptions being revealed on this thread.

I am 5’9”, so relatively tall. I don’t ‘peer down’ to talk to my DD. She doesn’t ‘crane her neck’ to talk to me, either.

We just look at each other when we talk -
probably because 9 times out of 10 we’re not actually pressed right up against each other when we’re conversing.

I imagine our height difference isn’t that different from a 6” man and a 5” woman.

I have never heard of mixed weight relationships, but it’s definitely my observation that - generally speaking - most couples are of equal physical attractiveness.

[quote NotAnotherUserNumber]@TableFlowerss

Surely they only have to “match” if they are both so shallow that this is their priority?[/quote]
Couples don’t have to match - it’s just that 9 times out of 10, they inevitably do.

It's very simple:

As a woman, the most important thing about you is what you look like. It always has been. This is not true for men.

HTH

Re: ''No basic knowledge of biology''

Poor woman!

www.newsweek.com/couple-couldnt-conceive-because-theyve-been-having-sex-wrong-way-four-years-1089162

This is not true for men
It seems to be affecting the younger generation it is attractive to be buff young men didn't have abs/muscle when I was a young women.
Some of my nieces friends the boys are sculptured.
My nephew was suicidal last year because he is tall & slim.

@Emeraldshamrock, that is awful! I think you're right actually.

In my generation, men were left alone, unless they were gay or effeminate. Now it does seem different. People are more accepting in some ways now, which is great, but I do think there is more pressure to look perfect.

Wtf is “financially well endowed” 😂

I'd probably notice if the difference was stark. I remember being surprised when I saw Pierce Brosnan's wife in a magazine once. I wondered how the marriage had lasted so long (I know I know ) but that was because he's famous and well, Hollywood is a shallow place and marriages rarely last in general. I did feel like a shallow, judgmental cow for thinking it though.

The only time I’ve thought anything like that is when watching programs when one spouse is bedbound due to their size.

I can’t believe those comments, what is wrong with some people!