Mixed weight relationship

[Nonimai]

Until last night, I had never heard the term “ mixed weight relationship” and would have still have been unaware had the Mail online not published a very peculiar article about a larger lady in a mixed weight relationship with a slim man ( like that’s news!). I then started to Google and realised that although the phrase Mixed Weight Relationship is seen by many as fat-shaming and mysogenistic (people don’t seem to dislike it as much if a man has a higher BMI than his partner) - it is actually a researched thing that apparently people generally view a relationship with a larger woman/ thinner man as lesser somehow.
I am a larger (size 22) plain looking short woman in my 50s, happily married to a completely in love with me, tall, slim good looking man who has a good job. He was considered a catch by both me and my friends tbh. However today looking at my life and friendships through the lens of “ mixed weight relationships and peoples apparent prejudice towards them” I have started to think on comments said to me by friends over the last 9 years since I got engaged and then married. I don’t want to suggest this is a common occurrence or that I have been in anyway upset - just puzzled and a bit peed off at the time, I suppose.
One friend repeatedly suggests that I lose weight, groom myself more or he will play away. I have been asked directly if he is a feeder. Another friend suggested we had a private small wedding because we didn’t look right together. No she didn’t get invited! - and speaking to my husband he says that business colleagues have commented on him liking larger women. He just thought they were shallow.
To me, the whole thing is horribly shallow and derogatory - do you agree? Or please be honest , do you make assumptions when you see couples where there is substantial physical difference? What do you think of the term “ mixed weight relationship?”.

My parents are in a "mixed weight relationship" (ridiculous term). Still very happy after 37 years.

OP, don't let it bother you for a moment!

Honestly? I'd probably wonder for a second how compatible they were if they were different sizes because of different lifestyles. I know people are attracted to who they're attracted to but I'd also maybe give a second of thought to whether it was a love at first sight thing or if it was more of a personality attraction sorry

I'm in a mixed weight relationship, all of my relationships have been. I've never known it to be a term. I genuinely don't care if people look at us and think anything about the fact that we are different sizes, or different heights (which we are). We are very much in love with each other for who we are. My partner isn't a "chubby chaser" (another delightful term) and in fact has never dated a bigger girl before. He just happenes to fancy and love me as I am. Shock horror I know! Our sex life is amazing (just for the record @ButterMeUpScotty), I actually think a couple where both partners are overweight would have difficulty much more, and my partner is not above averagely endowed. We match on plenty of things in our life's just because our weights don't match doesn't mean our values, morals and interests don't! @Nonimai you're so called friends sound nasty, you don't need people like that in your life!

"Who are you being so aggressive towards?"

I'm being "aggressive" to all the idiots who are going to inevitably shit up this thread with their usual spite towards fat women (and those who have done so already).

I’m in a mixed weight, mixed height, mixed strength relationship. Me and my DH are so different it’s like we’re 2 separate people!

You need some new friends OP, ones that don’t put you down.

I just think it's good that not everyone wants someone with the figure of a supermodel or we're all done for.

OP, as previously stated your mistake was reading the Mail which is anti woman & designed to put anyone's blood pressure up!!

I do sometimes wonder about situations where one partner is clearly more objectively attractive (or maybe one is in a wheelchair etc)

Because disabled people can’t possibly be equally attractive or worth dating? Bloody hell.

I don’t bat an eyelid at “mixed weight” but I do sometimes wonder about situations where one partner is clearly more objectively attractive

My husband and I are quite evenly matched (trying to be objective). Neither of us is exactly an oil painting. He is skinny rather than 'fit' slim - no visible muscle, pipe cleaner limbs. I like skinny men and don't go for the muscular look, but the 'six pack' type man is always held up as an ideal.

I honestly wouldn't think anything of it, it's quite common. It's when there's a huge height difference that it looks a bit odd to me and I wonder how easy it is to have conversations while standing up when one has to crane their neck and the other peer down.

Bloody hell Barbara

Not something I’ve heard of
My DP was tall but far too skinny when I met him - he has always been attracted to bigger women
Over the years my weight has varied by up to 8 stone
I’m currently a size 12-14 but want to get back to a 10
DP has gained weight so maybe we look like less of an odd couple
However there’s still over a foot difference in height and I’m a size 4 shoe - he struggles to find shoes in a 14/15
Maybe people just look at the contrast - doesn’t bother me at all
As for the comments about how different size couples have sex - use your imagination! We are all very different

I worry about people thinking they have to find a superficially "matching" partner.

Well I don't really but I did wonder at it when I was a kid. Seemed really obsessive to try to get a certain height, level of good looks, social status, (however I understood decent musical taste was a deal breaker 😂)

If you meet someone you can get along with for life it's all good.

Just come back on to add that I'm a wheelchair user as well as my husband being much older than me, so I guess that's 2 points to us on the weird scale, going by this thread.

Never heard of the term, it was probably invented by daily mail. It is not just weight though, people might wonder if they see a couple with the different levels of perceived conventional attractiveness.

@ButterMeUpScotty Only in missionary

Ugh, the world is just ghastly. Wheelchair users are unattractive? Ugly men must be rich or have a big willy to end up with a pretty wife? Fucking grim. Honestly, superficial people who say things like this will reap what they sow one day.

Never heard that expression before.

OP, I hope you’ve ditched these horrible people and stop reading the Mail.

I've always thought it was more noticeable when a healthy weight woman is in a relationship with an obese man- or when 1 half of a couple is way more attractive than the other. Never heard of a 'feeder' outside of trashy American TV.

Thanks all for your honesty. Good replies. It sounds like it’s not just me that hadn’t heard of it. I wonder if this is more of an American thing....?

• I did ditch the friends, although one took longer than it should have... And yes, I did absolutely get what I deserved allowing THAT newspaper to rile me. Although I’m mainly curious as to how others see this.

If you love, like and fancy each other, I expect people see you as happy and enviable. That stuff glows.

ButterMeUpScotty must have a very boring sex live there’s this thing you do when you have sex, called opening your legs

What fresh hell is this

Never heard of it . Really is a term for everything that day huh