Mixed weight relationship

[Nonimai]

Until last night, I had never heard the term “ mixed weight relationship” and would have still have been unaware had the Mail online not published a very peculiar article about a larger lady in a mixed weight relationship with a slim man ( like that’s news!). I then started to Google and realised that although the phrase Mixed Weight Relationship is seen by many as fat-shaming and mysogenistic (people don’t seem to dislike it as much if a man has a higher BMI than his partner) - it is actually a researched thing that apparently people generally view a relationship with a larger woman/ thinner man as lesser somehow.
I am a larger (size 22) plain looking short woman in my 50s, happily married to a completely in love with me, tall, slim good looking man who has a good job. He was considered a catch by both me and my friends tbh. However today looking at my life and friendships through the lens of “ mixed weight relationships and peoples apparent prejudice towards them” I have started to think on comments said to me by friends over the last 9 years since I got engaged and then married. I don’t want to suggest this is a common occurrence or that I have been in anyway upset - just puzzled and a bit peed off at the time, I suppose.
One friend repeatedly suggests that I lose weight, groom myself more or he will play away. I have been asked directly if he is a feeder. Another friend suggested we had a private small wedding because we didn’t look right together. No she didn’t get invited! - and speaking to my husband he says that business colleagues have commented on him liking larger women. He just thought they were shallow.
To me, the whole thing is horribly shallow and derogatory - do you agree? Or please be honest , do you make assumptions when you see couples where there is substantial physical difference? What do you think of the term “ mixed weight relationship?”.

These days *

I guess this applies to me. My partner is a fair bit bigger than me but all that either of us care about is that he stays healthy enough that we can keep going on the long walks we both enjoy. He’s trying to lose some to be healthier but will always be a fairly solid build.

I'm in a mixed weight relationship where I'm the bigger one but he's short and bald so nobody gives a shit

The only time I weighed the same as DH was at 40 weeks pregnant, do I have to maintain that weight now or divorce him?

Scotty how do you think pregnant women have sex if you think only an extra long penis can penetrate a fat woman??

Barbara you have a really sad world view.

I’ve never heard that term before.

But yeah some men do like women to be overweight and find it physically attractive. So? I’m not sure it’s shallow. More that’s the physicality they find sexually attractive.

Others it’s all about the mind and the person, again who cares. It’s no ones business what two people do in the bedroom or what they find physically attractive about the other.

I'd assume he had a kink for bigger women as its more unusual. I'd also wonder what yours was to enjoy a skinnier man - absolutely purely based on my own perspective that I wouldn't want to be with someone smaller than me.

Jeez DP has Crohns so is always going to be skinnier than and eat me under the table.

Also I need to tell DH he has a massively hige penis. I'm just under a height, he's over 6ft. I'm a size 18-20 and he's slim.

When I was younger I used to judge quite a bit. Especially if the woman was very large and the man slim and good looking. But now I'm in my 30's and I know better and that there's a lot more to relationships that just how someone looks.

My DH loves me for me. I've been skinny and fat and he's loved me the same. At the moment I'm in a fat phase and he says he still fancies me "because you're you! And I love you" it's very nice. :)

speaking to my husband he says that business colleagues have commented on him liking larger women

But he does, I assume he fancies you and you’re a larger woman. It’s not he fancies you despite your size. It’s not something he should be ashamed of. Unless you’re saying his ideal body shape is slim? And that’s why he says they are shallow?

WTAF?

Another reason to draw upon differences between people.

I used to be the skinny one in my marriage. How times have changed! My DH is loving the tits and ass though.

@PurpleDaisies

I do sometimes wonder about situations where one partner is clearly more objectively attractive (or maybe one is in a wheelchair etc)

Because disabled people can’t possibly be equally attractive or worth dating? Bloody hell.

Quite!

I’d rather date a person in a wheelchair than a person who is a see-ya-next-Tuesday.
(I am a wheelchair user.)

Fucking hell, this really is never ending. Is there nothing that people won't try to make you feel shit about?

I’m a size 12 and my DH is in women’s sizes I’d estimate a 4 easily, maybe less. Very thin, absolutely nothing to him.

I often actually feel like people judge us, or perhaps more him for being so thin but he eats normal meals and often more than I eat?!

People are just built differently and I wasn’t aware that relationship success is based on size now.

When will sizeism stop

@NuniaBeeswax

"Who are you being so aggressive towards?"

I'm being "aggressive" to all the idiots who are going to inevitably shit up this thread with their usual spite towards fat women (and those who have done so already).

I think you might have jumped the shark there, I don’t see that happening?

@Bluntness100

speaking to my husband he says that business colleagues have commented on him liking larger women

But he does, I assume he fancies you and you’re a larger woman. It’s not he fancies you despite your size. It’s not something he should be ashamed of. Unless you’re saying his ideal body shape is slim? And that’s why he says they are shallow?

There's an inherent judgement thou.

oh you fancy slim women? Of course you don

Oh you fancy fat women? You kinky bugger, oh does she squash you? Are you a feeder? OR Ugh mate you need to raise your standards, you deserve better than a fat lass OR well I heard fat girls are grateful and are more likely to suck you off (I've been told that last one)

I'm in a "mixed weight" relationship and my H throws crappy food down his throat all day and barely moves off the sofa whereas I eat quite carefully and exercise every day. He is the thin one. So fuck off with your 'different lifestyles' shite.

As for sex, as well as being a brilliant person & beautiful, I'm bloody amazing in the sack so it works out fine. Also my H isn't a shallow twat.

OP a 'mixed weight relationship' isn't a thing. Just get on with loving each other. That's what's real, not all this image obsessed crap that has hopefully temporarily taken over the world. I'm sure you're bloody great.

"I think you might have jumped the shark there, I don’t see that happening?"

Of course not. There are no posts about how men willing to date fat women must have a "kink", or posts openly admitting to judging couples where the woman was fat and the man was "slim and good looking" (jealous much?) and the opening question about "how do they have sex". I have obviously imagined them.

I'd assume he had a kink for bigger women as its more unusual. I'd also wonder what yours was to enjoy a skinnier man personality? Looks? Sense of humour? Values? Long hair?

absolutely purely based on my own perspective that I wouldn't want to be with someone smaller than me should I assume women are kinky for marrying bald men purely based on my own perspective that I wouldn't want to be with someone with less hair than me??

@NuniaBeeswax not jealous, just an observation.

"@NuniaBeeswax not jealous, just an observation."

So what are you "judging" them for? Either the man is has a fetish or the woman doesn't deserve a good looking boyfriend for being fat?

@NuniaBeeswax As I said, it was when I was much younger and immature. I don't have those judgments anymore

But what were the "judgements"?