Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend has taken me for a mug?

601 replies

PenAndPaperback · 02/02/2021 19:02

Back in December, I made an online listing for my 2018 MacBook on Facebook marketplace and received a ton of 'lowball' offers or people asking me to drive an hour plus to deliver it to their place. A friend of mine messaged me, telling me that her current laptop had broken down and that she's having trouble finding work because of that (she's a freelancer).

She asked if I could 'sell' it to her first and that she'd pay it back in instalments after paying off her kids' stuff etc, before telling me that she would get back to me because she had to calculate everything. She eventually came up with a payment plan that lasted almost 2 years and I told her that I'd just give it to her as I didn't need the money and that if I were to bring it in for 'trade-in' I was told that I'd get basically nothing for it anyway.

So I dropped it off in her mailbox, and I thought that that was that. Fast forward to last week, she was sending me screenshots on her computer, and it was on a Windows laptop! I asked her in a semi-joking way, oh, did the MacBook spoil and she said that no, she's just using her old laptop and that she's using the one I sent her for 'storage'. If I had known she didn't really need it I definitely wouldn't have given it to her!

I'm not going to ask for it back, of course. But AIBU to be a bit miffed off by all this?

OP posts:
yvanka · 05/02/2021 02:12

Expensive mistakes make cheap lessons! You've had a lucky escape Smile

Dopo · 05/02/2021 06:31

What a prick. Definately a hunbot

rainbowstardrops · 05/02/2021 07:00

What an absolute bitch!!!!! It's a tough lesson to learn but at least you don't have to tolerate her anymore.

ReginaPhalangee · 05/02/2021 07:20

Two words...

Judge Rinder!

BlackCatShadow · 05/02/2021 09:07

@ReginaPhalangee

Two words...

Judge Rinder!

For sure!!

You definitely I rely should drop it because without any evidence she sold it, it is possible that she’s telling the truth and it genuinely did break down and she genuinely did send it in for recycling, in which case she did absolutely nothing wrong. Unlikely, but possible.

mm40 · 05/02/2021 11:34

Look on the bright side OP, she won’t be bothering you again for anything ever again. Good riddance to the lying scheming cow.

thelegohooverer · 05/02/2021 11:50

Please don’t change who you are OP; you are clearly a generous, considerate and kind person. There is no shame in what you’ve done. All the shame belongs to her.

You’ve seen now what she is. You could reproach yourself if you were going to continue to let her treat you like a mug. But you aren’t. In fact you’ve handled the situation calmly with dignity and grace.

You’re not likely to get an apology, a payment or even an acknowledgement because that’s who she is. You’ve let her know that you’ve seen her. It’s really all you can do.

The world is divided into givers and takers. You don’t need to stop being a giver altogether; just stop giving when you spot someone is a taker. Givers will pass on your generousity, and return favours when they can.

Put the shame firmly where it belongs. You weren’t a fool or a mug for thinking well of her.

CoraPirbright · 05/02/2021 15:09

Oh goodness I couldnt let this lie! I think I would post a note
“So it looks like you have blocked me on social media so I cannot ask you any further awkward questions about the lap top. I gave it to you as I thought you were in desperate need and needed it for work. It was fully working when it left me. It now seems as though it was entirely superfluous and I now think that you have sold it and pocketed the cash. I was trying to be a good and generous friend. You have pissed all over that and are a THIEF and a LIAR. Never contact me again.”

Phew that was cathartic!!

Norwayreally · 05/02/2021 15:18

Wow, I’d be absolutely furious. MacBooks are expensive, I’ve had mine for three years now and absolutely love it. She’s obviously sent it to a recycling place and kept the cash. Such an awful person.

truthisalie · 05/02/2021 20:59

OP, don't contact her anymore otherwise she may accuse your of lies and
of harassment.

Original poster
PenAndPaperback · 05/02/2021 23:06

I had a moment of weakness today and logged out of Facebook to see the latest update on her page. Saw a post that said 'true friends help each other NO QUESTIONS ASKED' with 4 replies saying something along the lines of 'always here for you hun' pfft and another one that said 'I'd rather hustle 24/7 than slave 9 to 5'. It's so ridiculous it's almost hilarious. Almost.

OK, no more Facebook 'stalking' for me.

OP posts:
TemptedToSleepInTheShed · 05/02/2021 23:40

You carry on FB stalking her if it helps (and because we’re all nosy and want to know what’s going on) x

YouokHun · 06/02/2021 00:31

I'd rather hustle 24/7 than slave 9 to 5

That’s such an MLM Hun thing to say. Presumably your 9-5 job @PenAndPaperback paid for the laptop she stole to prop up her “hustle”. Honestly, she sounds like an absolute tool.

famousforwrongreason · 06/02/2021 01:52

@YouokHun

I'd rather hustle 24/7 than slave 9 to 5

That’s such an MLM Hun thing to say. Presumably your 9-5 job @PenAndPaperback paid for the laptop she stole to prop up her “hustle”. Honestly, she sounds like an absolute tool.

Ha, I just came here to say that sounds pure mlm. High five!
famousforwrongreason · 06/02/2021 01:55

@PenAndPaperback

Sent about 3 messages this morning asking how's it going (one of which included me saying my mum REALLY needed it unfortunately) before she sent one back saying that she had sent it in for repairs last week (apparently the PC store near her does drops offs where you leave it at the door and they'll video call you) and they said they'd need to replace several parts that would almost amount to the cost of a new computer so she collected it back and then sent it to Apple for bloody recycling.

She then said that the reason she didn't tell me that was because she didn't want me to feel bad for driving all the way to her place to drop off a faulty laptop! There is nothing wrong with the laptop ffs and I am 100% sure the thing isn't fucking broken. I know this because after wiping it I tested everything multiple times and have never so much as seen a single glitch or 'green lines' on the screen and all of a sudden it's with her for a month and it breaks down???

Cheeky / sneaky 'friend' unless she's on serious dire straits at the moment she is full piss taker
lighteincastlewindow · 06/02/2021 02:21

I love the CF threads on this site but am always amazed at what people allow happen. For your own self respect you should be direct with her. You don't need to entertain this thread anymore but do be direct, I think you'll feel better for standing up for yourself and then yes write it off and learn from it, but let her know you know she is a scumbag.

itsallpointless · 06/02/2021 02:22

She is/was no friend OP. Unfortunately people like this are everywhere, just waiting for their moment. She has no integrity/morals, and anyone can spout cheap shit inspirational quotes, IMO attention seeking behaviour.

Chalk this up to (expensive) experience and move on OP, a lesson learned. You aren't the first (reading this thread) and certainly won't be the last.

"Fool me once, shame on you..fool me twice, shame on me"

gettingusedtothelimelight · 06/02/2021 08:52

So is anyone else desperate for the OP to "accidentally" name her ex friend so anyone could maybe comment on her Facebook page 😂😂

Newbie1999 · 06/02/2021 09:16

What an absolute dick. As bad as it is, I think I’d just try and forget about it and move on - you’ll drive yourself mad thinking about it, and only waste energy on being angry. Just block and delete her; lesson learned.

truthisalie · 06/02/2021 13:51

So is anyone else desperate for the OP to "accidentally" name her ex friend so anyone could maybe comment on her Facebook page

No, she needs to forget about it.

misskatamari · 06/02/2021 17:24

Gosh she is such a bloody dick isn't she! I'm sorry this had happened to you, but you are well rid. Bonkers behaviour on her part. How can she seriously think YOUR behaviour is wrong here. She's a right doughnut!

B33Fr33 · 06/02/2021 17:29

I think if she's a freelancer she's probably thinking of comparability. By freeing up space presumably her laptop is running well enough enabling her to carry on without having to learn different software/ change files? It might not have been the use either of you envisaged just turned out to be the best short to mid term solution.

LagneyandCasey · 06/02/2021 17:39

@B33Fr33

I think if she's a freelancer she's probably thinking of comparability. By freeing up space presumably her laptop is running well enough enabling her to carry on without having to learn different software/ change files? It might not have been the use either of you envisaged just turned out to be the best short to mid term solution.
It was a lie. She sold it.
Sillysandy · 06/02/2021 18:05

Op, you are not a mug, an idiot or weak. Do not let this person change how you conduct yourself. Most people are not like her. She sounds like an utter tool and as for her friends online trying to sell you makeup - ugh.

You would be totally justified to follow up if you wanted but I would also be in the let it go camp. Yes you're out of pocket but she has to live in her own sad world littered with broken friendships and bad financial decisions.

The Facebook stalking sounds for once, like a great move.

Skysblue · 06/02/2021 22:00

It could be something else. Has she had a Mac before? We switched from a Windows PC to a top of the range Mac and I HATE how everything is different on it I liked my shortcut keys and windows how they were, I barely use it and prefer my very ancient and slow laptop. Maybe she couldn’t work out how to use it properly so went back to her elderly windows laptop.