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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my friend has taken me for a mug?

601 replies

PenAndPaperback · 02/02/2021 19:02

Back in December, I made an online listing for my 2018 MacBook on Facebook marketplace and received a ton of 'lowball' offers or people asking me to drive an hour plus to deliver it to their place. A friend of mine messaged me, telling me that her current laptop had broken down and that she's having trouble finding work because of that (she's a freelancer).

She asked if I could 'sell' it to her first and that she'd pay it back in instalments after paying off her kids' stuff etc, before telling me that she would get back to me because she had to calculate everything. She eventually came up with a payment plan that lasted almost 2 years and I told her that I'd just give it to her as I didn't need the money and that if I were to bring it in for 'trade-in' I was told that I'd get basically nothing for it anyway.

So I dropped it off in her mailbox, and I thought that that was that. Fast forward to last week, she was sending me screenshots on her computer, and it was on a Windows laptop! I asked her in a semi-joking way, oh, did the MacBook spoil and she said that no, she's just using her old laptop and that she's using the one I sent her for 'storage'. If I had known she didn't really need it I definitely wouldn't have given it to her!

I'm not going to ask for it back, of course. But AIBU to be a bit miffed off by all this?

OP posts:
Smallgoon · 04/02/2021 01:25

@Bluntness100

Apple doesn’t provide that information to law enforcement without a court order, so why would they do that for OP

Because it’s her laptop.

It's not her laptop. She gave it away.
saiditbetterthanme · 04/02/2021 01:36

Eh, I hate things like this. She clearly took advantage of the situation. OP, maybe it's better to cut your losses if this and let it go. You did a nice thing to help someone. I would also be moving on from that friendship too.

douliket · 04/02/2021 01:37

@Smallgoon ,you are missing the point, apple obviously don't know that the op gave it away

Smallgoon · 04/02/2021 01:50

[quote douliket]@Smallgoon ,you are missing the point, apple obviously don't know that the op gave it away
[/quote]
What point have I missed? Apple wouldn't just give out that info willy nilly.

Cheeseandwin5 · 04/02/2021 03:34

@Smallgoon ,you are missing the point, apple obviously don't know that the op gave it away

The OP would need a police report or some sort of legal document to prove that it was stolen. As she readily admits that she gave the laptop to her friend, there really isn't criminal case, the OP has.
This is just a case of someone who has taken advantaged of someone elses good nature and friendship..

Nouveau2021 · 04/02/2021 05:16

I agree she’s blocked you. And I think you should go to her door and give her one last chance to give you it back. And if she doesn’t, tell her you’ll splash it all over Facebook and tag everyone you and she knows in the post. Complete with screenshots of the text messages where she’s clearly talking shit.

I had a situation where I was taken advantage of by a “friend”. We got a flat together as we were both having trouble at home (I was undiagnosed with bipolar at the time and didn’t realise it was me causing the problems 🙈). Anyway we paid the deposit for a fancy flat (I paid mine myself, her grandmother paid for hers) and everything was ok, we got along and shared the household tasks etc. It turned out she was bad mouthing me to my sister and cousin, badmouthing them to me to create a wedge between us all and I ended up falling out with my whole family because of her. It turned out that while I was sleeping (constantly due to severe depression) she was taking my phone and texting my mother and sister and saying horrible things to them and telling them I didn’t want to see them ever again.

We eventually figured this all out and I came home one day to find her room empty and all her stuff gone (we still had a couple of weeks left in the 6 month lease), she gave me some crap excuse. When it came time to move out, the landlord informed me that she hadn’t paid her rent for months and as such, my whole deposit would be kept (this was right before they brought in the law about deposits). I contacted her and gave her the opportunity to give me the money that was taken (I figured she owed me since she was the one that didn’t pay her rent) and if not, I would let everyone know how much of a tramp and user she was. She palmed me off for about a month saying she would get it to me or her mum was paying it etc etc. It never materialised so I made good on my promise and wrote the post, tagged her in it along with half of my Facebook that knew her.

She has ended up with no friends and has apparently tried the same kind of stuff with people who she has managed to establish new friendships with (they don’t last long). Oh also, we found out she was stealing from her grandmother as well, how low can one person get?

My point is, hit her where it hurts, let everyone know how much of a cow she is, it’ll make you feel better and then karma will get her eventually.

cordeliae · 04/02/2021 05:34

Don't let this get you down OP, really am fuming for youAngry She is not a friend.

Sillysandy · 04/02/2021 07:49

@Derbee

OP, learn a lesson from this. You shouldn’t have just given it to her because she wanted it. But you did. When you give something away, it no longer belongs to you. It’s not up to you what she does with something that you have given her.

It’s fucking rude, dodgy, and ungrateful, but you had already given up the laptop/any value from selling it. So you are no worse off really, you’ve just given that fucker £80 essentially.

Cut off the friendship. And don’t put yourself in a position to be taken advantage of again.

I don't agree with this. It is admirable that you gave the MacBook to a friend who was struggling so she could work. I would do the same in your shoes.

However this 'friend' has shown her true colours . The whole thing was so calculated - offering to buy it, then suggesting some ridiculous payment plan, then not mentioning it was broken and being too busy to even give you an explanation. It's all sneaky and deceitful. You can't trust her.

Coincidentally a friend of mine gave me an old MacBook when I was in a tight spot and needed to earn a living. I broke it! I took it to the nearest repair shop and they said it couldn't be saved. They sourced me a similar model and gave me a price. I phoned my friend and confessed the whole thing explaining I was trading hers but would get an identical model. She was insistent had given me the laptop but I always felt it was still hers and intended to give it back when I no longer needed it (she wouldn't take it).

I would continue to be kind and generous and help out a friend in need if I was you (my friend saved me in the story above) but I would have no time for this person again. Ever.

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 04/02/2021 08:48

She scammed you out of that laptop OP.
Saying well, you gave it her so you lose is silly.
If the OP had been sweet talked or in this case, listened to a sob story and given a load of money would that be OK, seeing that happens to lots of people too.
She's a scammer.

BertramLacey · 04/02/2021 09:30

maybe it's better to cut your losses if this and let it go. You did a nice thing to help someone. I would also be moving on from that friendship too.

I agree with this. Revenge fantasies are all well and good, but they rarely play out to the benefit of the wronged party. There doesn't appear to be any legal redress against this woman, since the OP gave her the laptop. So confronting her etc. is unlikely to bring about any satisfaction. What I would do however is make a note of the names of any FB friends you have in common, block all of them and her, and then tell your remaining friends what has happened and give them the heads up that these people are scammers.

You might find that what goes around comes around. On the other hand you might not. But do bear in mind that she has to live with herself being a dishonest scamming fraudster, whereas you are someone who just tried to help out a friend.

ExitChasedByABear · 04/02/2021 09:47

@PenAndPaperback

I can't see or search for her Facebook when I'm logged in but she does show up when I'm logged out on private browsing.
Sounds like you’ve been blocked on WhatsApp and Facebook OP. How long were you friends for? Has she always been like this or is this a recent change of behaviour ever since she’s gotten into MLM?
popgoestyeweasel · 04/02/2021 10:03

This is the only time I've ever wanted the Daily Mail to write about a MN thread.

I hope they do.

Then tag her into the story along with this thread.

What this friend has done are the actions of a scamming lowlife. Honestly I'm disgusted and so angry on behalf of OP.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 04/02/2021 10:05

Shocking behaviour...I'm in team fenced it...

I suppose you need to do what feels OK for you.

I suppose that it is quite cheap cost to discover what a snake this woman is.

Dasher789 · 04/02/2021 11:06

really sorry OP. you tried to be a good friend and have been totally taken advantage off.

i think the best thing you can do is move on from it. i know she has blocked you anyway but from your perspective, just cut her off from your life.

i would be fuming too though.

Daffodil
PunishmentSnart · 04/02/2021 12:31

Oh my god. So shocked at how horrible some ‘friends’ can be!

OP you sound lovely and I would definitely give any mutual friends a heads up on this scammer.

HermioneWeasley · 04/02/2021 12:36

Horrible person. It’s cost you the price of a second hand laptop to find out who she is. Only you can decide if that’s a bargain or not

Libertynan · 04/02/2021 12:43

Sounds like she has blocked you OP.

What a horrible person - karma will get her.

Honeyroar · 04/02/2021 12:50

What a horrible woman. You were so kind and she’s completely taken advantage. But you told her she could have it, so legally there isn’t much you can do. You’re depending on her having morals, which she clearly doesn’t. I’d try going round to her house, if only to tell her how disgusted you are at her behaviour and that she should be ashamed of herself.

Purplekitchen · 04/02/2021 13:09

I would send one last message, something like -
"From your recent actions I can only deduce that you have sold on this device for your personal profit. Unless you can prove me wrong, please consider our friendship at an end and do not contact me again."

rawalpindithelabrador · 04/02/2021 13:12

Yep, she blocked you. Not unpredictable at all. Lesson learned, never fall for sob stories. She scammed you.

Morris125 · 04/02/2021 13:17

I’d go to the police and report her for theft/fraud. Yeah you give her the laptop but she deceived you into thinking that she was in need, and now will not return it.

SummerBlondey · 04/02/2021 13:38

Crikey, don't waste Police time on this! That's the last think they need, even more so mid pandemic. It would never get to court - you have her the laptop. It's not theft.

Smallgoon · 04/02/2021 13:47

[quote Cheeseandwin5]@Smallgoon ,you are missing the point, apple obviously don't know that the op gave it away

The OP would need a police report or some sort of legal document to prove that it was stolen. As she readily admits that she gave the laptop to her friend, there really isn't criminal case, the OP has.
This is just a case of someone who has taken advantaged of someone elses good nature and friendship..[/quote]
I'm not missing the point at all, unless you're advocating that OP lies to Apple about the whereabouts of the laptop? She gave it away. Seems a number of people in this thread are happy for police resources to be wasted, investigating a "theft" that never occurred.

What the "friend" did was deception in the extreme and she is a massive cunt. If I were OP I would turn up on their doorstep to confront them. But getting the police/Apple involved in a dispute of this kind is lunacy.

CleverCatty · 04/02/2021 14:36

Agreed with Smallgoon - I'd go round to this person's house too.

But somehow I think this person won't answer the door or if they do will be very belligerent about dealing with the issue.

ButterscotchWhip · 04/02/2021 15:26

I wouldn't go round to her house. It'll just make you feel worse - she'll either not come to the door or she'll attempt to turn the blame on you because she's been cornered. It's tempting to slag her off on FB, etc but again, it might not end well. I would draw a line under it all, but she's an absolute worm and I'm sorry your kindness was repaid in this way, OP.

You got unlucky, but most people aren't like this - it is a lesson for you, maybe, but ultimately she's the one who'll lose out on friendships with good people for being such an extraordinary douchebag. Don't let it stop you from being kind in future - it's the best quality to have. This might just give you pause, next time. x

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