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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend has taken me for a mug?

601 replies

PenAndPaperback · 02/02/2021 19:02

Back in December, I made an online listing for my 2018 MacBook on Facebook marketplace and received a ton of 'lowball' offers or people asking me to drive an hour plus to deliver it to their place. A friend of mine messaged me, telling me that her current laptop had broken down and that she's having trouble finding work because of that (she's a freelancer).

She asked if I could 'sell' it to her first and that she'd pay it back in instalments after paying off her kids' stuff etc, before telling me that she would get back to me because she had to calculate everything. She eventually came up with a payment plan that lasted almost 2 years and I told her that I'd just give it to her as I didn't need the money and that if I were to bring it in for 'trade-in' I was told that I'd get basically nothing for it anyway.

So I dropped it off in her mailbox, and I thought that that was that. Fast forward to last week, she was sending me screenshots on her computer, and it was on a Windows laptop! I asked her in a semi-joking way, oh, did the MacBook spoil and she said that no, she's just using her old laptop and that she's using the one I sent her for 'storage'. If I had known she didn't really need it I definitely wouldn't have given it to her!

I'm not going to ask for it back, of course. But AIBU to be a bit miffed off by all this?

OP posts:
LadyDanbury · 04/02/2021 15:39

Write to her. Let her know that you know what she's done. Preferably on a postcard so that anyone who lives with her can read it too.

CleverCatty · 04/02/2021 16:24

@ButterscotchWhip

I wouldn't go round to her house. It'll just make you feel worse - she'll either not come to the door or she'll attempt to turn the blame on you because she's been cornered. It's tempting to slag her off on FB, etc but again, it might not end well. I would draw a line under it all, but she's an absolute worm and I'm sorry your kindness was repaid in this way, OP.

You got unlucky, but most people aren't like this - it is a lesson for you, maybe, but ultimately she's the one who'll lose out on friendships with good people for being such an extraordinary douchebag. Don't let it stop you from being kind in future - it's the best quality to have. This might just give you pause, next time. x

Exactly - I'd like to think I would go round to her house, but I probably wouldn't due to your reasons.

FB slagging off wouldn't really work as there are no real mutual friends of yours only acquaintances.

Definitely end of friendship though.

Womencanlift · 04/02/2021 16:41

OP you say she is a freelancer. Does she have a business page of any sort? That’s where I would hit her by saying she is untrustworthy. I’m pretty sure she will be back in touch quickly to get you to remove it

No the most mature way of handling it but I’m very petty Smile

YouokHun · 04/02/2021 17:21

@Womencanlift no she doesn’t have a business (though she probably thinks she does). It appears she’s a participant in an MLM scheme and probably her circle is too so there isn’t anywhere like that to shame her. She’s probably used the money from the laptop to prop up her MLM endeavours Angry

CandidaAlbicans2 · 04/02/2021 17:48

I’d go to the police and report her for theft/fraud. Yeah you give her the laptop but she deceived you into thinking that she was in need, and now will not return it.

Crikey, don't waste Police time on this! That's the last think they need, even more so mid pandemic. It would never get to court - you have her the laptop. It's not theft.

According to this article by the Met Police it sounds like it might come under "personal fraud":

"Fraud is when a person lies to you, or ‘scams’ you, to gain an advantage, such as taking your money or learning private information about you. This could be via email, text, phone or in person, either on the street or on your doorstep"

It also says it's important to report scams, even minor ones:

"Get help or report a scam
If you think you’ve uncovered a scam, been targeted by a scam or fallen victim to fraudsters, contact Action Fraud on 0300 123 2040 or at Action Fraud.

Call us on 101 if you know the suspect or they’re still in the area.

Reporting crime, including fraud, is important. If you don’t tell the authorities, how do they know it’s happened and how can they do anything about it?

Remember that if you’re a victim of a scam or an attempted scam, however minor, there may be hundreds or thousands of others in a similar position. Your information may form part of one big jigsaw and be vital to completing the picture."

BloggersBlog · 04/02/2021 18:14

I told her that I'd just give it to her as I didn't need the money and that if I were to bring it in for 'trade-in' I was told that I'd get basically nothing for it anyway

CF will have proof of OP saying this, that it was a gift. Once something is given it is no business of the 'gifter' was is done with it.

A bitter pill to swallow though.

MyKingdomForACaramel · 04/02/2021 18:14

Ffs it’s not fraud and isn’t a police matter. It’s shitty behaviour but that’s it.

ISpeakJive · 04/02/2021 18:38

OP, you did a lovely thing.

She shat on it.

She’s no friend.

Original poster
PenAndPaperback · 04/02/2021 18:57

I've thought about it and maybe I'll get called a mug for this but there's nothing much I can do about it at this point to be honest. I did tell her that I'd just give it to her for free instead of that £20-a-month-over-2-years-sometimes-partially-in-cash-sometimes-a-little-less payment plan.

The fact that she lied to get it and that she lied again afterwards is shit but I never explicitly stated that I'd give it to her under the condition that she use it for work so that's that.

Bloody hilarious how she's now making posts on Facebook (only viewable when I'm logged out) about women 'supporting each othe'r and how 'you just have to work hard and you'll achieve everything you want'! I'm an idiot but on the bright side that's one less 'friend' to worry about on Christmas/birthdays!

OP posts:
toocold54 · 04/02/2021 19:04

I agree OP.
You were extending nice and she now knows that she’s been caught out being a CF and probably feels like a massive twat!

I would want to message her on Facebook and ask why she’s blocked you but she’ll probably make up another loads of lies.

I don’t think you’re an idiot at all.

rawalpindithelabrador · 04/02/2021 19:13

She's a classic MLM grifter, OP. Hope she goes bust and loses a load of money.

LagneyandCasey · 04/02/2021 19:19

What's that mumsnet phrase? When someone shows you who they are, believe them?

Shame she didn't fess up and apologise. She's a coward as well as a deceitful person. You deserve better friends, op Flowers

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/02/2021 19:21

I love your attitude, PenAndPaperback - it takes a lot of strength to realise that, when there's not much you can do, it's best to let go

It'll be no surprise when you learn (and I'm sure you will) that she's done similar to others, or when her MLM scam comes tumbling down. This type rarely win in the end, and at least you'll know you were the better person Flowers

Blanca87 · 04/02/2021 19:23

Hopefully the Daily Fail will pick this story up and you can get someone to link it to her Facebook page saying is this you hun? 😂

CandidaAlbicans2 · 04/02/2021 19:27

@MyKingdomForACaramel

Ffs it’s not fraud and isn’t a police matter. It’s shitty behaviour but that’s it.
You're most likely correct, but there's no harm in OP calling the helpline to check before totally writing it off is there? After all, it does say ""Fraud is when a person lies to you, or ‘scams’ you, to gain an advantage, such as taking your money...", and CF friend did lie to financially gain from OP in a way. Sounds open to interpretation. Anyway, even if OP can't be helped, CF might have form (like a PP's friend) and it becomes part of the jigsaw.
YouokHun · 04/02/2021 19:29

Oh dear, she bought line of “women supporting women” while they all scam each other and get controlled by the men who own these MLMs. She has probably lost her grip on any principles she had OP. She’s in a cult basically. Around 99.7% of people in MLMs lose money so she’ll definitely get her comeuppance. Shame she did this to you but she’s a lost cause. You’re not the idiot in this tale.

cautiouscovidity · 04/02/2021 19:31

@Blanca87

Hopefully the Daily Fail will pick this story up and you can get someone to link it to her Facebook page saying is this you hun? 😂
GrinGrin
StarFriend · 04/02/2021 21:38

You sound lovely OP. I'm sorry this happened to you.

She might have tricked you with the laptop, but you still have integrity and a kind heart. She has neither.

Hope this incidence won't deter you from trusting people. As the vast majority of people are not at all like her.

toocold54 · 04/02/2021 21:39

Hopefully the Daily Fail will pick this story up and you can get someone to link it to her Facebook page saying is this you hun?

GrinGrin love it!! Especially the hun at the end!!

famousforwrongreason · 04/02/2021 22:04

[quote thosetalesofunexpected]@famousforwrongreason

What a Arsehole your so called friend was who you gave something to for free,and she sold it on.
I hope you got rid of her as a friend !
I can't stand people like that.!😬[/quote]
We're still friends but I've massively distanced myself. I since found out that she's done it to other 'friends' which made me feel less pissed off with her... Confused

DrManhattan · 04/02/2021 23:06

Come on Daily Mail. This is your time !

OakSnows · 04/02/2021 23:20

@DrManhattan

Come on Daily Mail. This is your time !
This! Come on daily Mail, do your thing!
Sparklfairy · 04/02/2021 23:26

Maybe all of us with twitter could tweet this thread to the DM? Wink

Mally2020 · 04/02/2021 23:33

agree with above so obviously sold, she clearly saw she could take advantage, learn your lesson and cut her off

dazzlinghaze · 05/02/2021 00:57

Have just RTFT, I'm so angry for you OP. What a nasty piece of work she is. At least you can rest easy knowing you're a kind person and have one less arsehole in your life!

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