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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who does this gift belong to?

344 replies

BabyofMine · 02/02/2021 12:10

A group of work friends buy a gift for another work friend.

One work friend (not me so as not to drip feed!) organises it, collects the money, orders the item and is going to deliver it to the work friend.

Because of some mess up with the company, the company send the organiser a nearly duplicate item worth basically the same, as an apology for messing them around so much etc.

Whose is second duplicate gift from the company?

YABU= belongs to the organiser
YANBU= belongs to the person the original gift was meant for

(The YABU/NBU choices were random btw - I genuinely don’t have an opinion either way, I am one of the “contributors”)

OP posts:

Mildmanneredmum · 02/02/2021 14:36

Donate it to charity?

WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo · 02/02/2021 14:38

The additional gift was meant for the person who was inconvenienced, i.e the organiser.

NettleTea · 02/02/2021 14:39

anyone saying the organiser hasnt done £100 worth of organising. How do you know. What is her hourly rate? She may be on £25 an hour or more possibly, and all the going around, chasing up, picking up, delivering may well add up to a few hours, and the stress. Her time is her time.
Plus the retail value, for a company, isnt what its worth to them. At least 50% mark up.

SamLovesLembasBread · 02/02/2021 14:41

The organiser should have kept quiet about it, unless there was some reason the others needed to know. Maybe she'd already told the others about the problems with the order and felt that she should give the company their due when they tried to make it right. Though if the company didn't realise that the original order was a gift and it's not something you'd want two of in one household, sending two is a bit of an odd way to make amends.

This is one of the rare perks of being the organiser. If the others are upset, they can volunteer to take charge next time the opportunity presents itself.

SurvivalIsInsufficient · 02/02/2021 14:44

Donate it to charity?

Why though? It's the organisers.

I don't get the question anyway. The company sent it to the organiser to apologise to them. It's for her, sent to her address, and she has it. Unless one of the arsey begrudgers is going to go around there and take it off her, how is it even a question?

StellaDendrite · 02/02/2021 14:44

If I were the organizer I wouldn’t want to keep it. I’d donate it to charity or ask if someone in the group wants to buy it and split the money between everyone who contributed.

I think it’s a bit cheeky of the volunteer to want to keep it.

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 02/02/2021 14:45

The organiser could have kept quiet.

Organiser: sometimes you get lucky when taking on a job, and even if the organiser keeps it, no one has lost out.

Auction it amongst the group - an spend the proceeds on shareable chocolates for when you are next in the workplace

EBay it and split the money - or give proceeds to charity

SurvivalIsInsufficient · 02/02/2021 14:46

I think it’s a bit cheeky of the volunteer to want to keep it

You cannot be serious.

HaveringWavering · 02/02/2021 14:47

@JaninaDuszejko

Organiser should never have told everyone else about the duplicate gift.

This! But she should still get to keep it. Absolutely no logic to it going to anyone else.

TrialOfStyle · 02/02/2021 14:48

I think it’s a bit cheeky of the volunteer to want to keep it.

But why? The others aren’t out of pocket. They got exactly what they paid for. The didn’t have to contribute any further mental load or time to it. The organiser did. If she sold it, split money, did whatever - she’d just be wasting more of her time. How is that fair on her?

SoupDragon · 02/02/2021 14:48

IMO, this isn't a gift, its compensation specifically for having been messed about by the company so I would have voted YABU if I didn't have voting turned off!

Piffle11 · 02/02/2021 14:48

Blimey, what a bunch. Let the organiser keep it – she’s the one who’s made all the effort, all the others have done is given her some money. And who cares what price you can put on her inconvenience? She was inconvenienced, no one else was. Whoever begrudges her the spare gift should be ashamed of themselves. And selling it wouldn’t work – you never get what something is worth when you sell it on. She could have all the hassle of having to sell it to divvy up and people might end up with a tenner each. And she’ll be the one I’m to trip to the post office to send it. Stuff that.

Sittingonabench · 02/02/2021 14:51

@Seeline

If the duplicate was sent because of the company messing around, then the organiser should keep it as I presume they were the one who has had to deal with the company making things difficult.

This exactly.

HurricaneBitch · 02/02/2021 14:51

Organiser was the person messed about, so is the person who the company is apologising to.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 02/02/2021 14:51

In normal times in the workplace it would be donated as a raffle prize/go to company charity for similar purpose.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 02/02/2021 14:53

If that can't be done easily, organiser gets it.
It's a fucking thankless task. This is case in point.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 02/02/2021 14:57

It belongs to the organiser.

I do think the company who sold it are being a bit bloody weird though. If its an item you wouldn't want two of, why on earth did they think a satisfactory apology would be to send a duplicate? Rather than a refund, gift card, or practically anything else?

TellingBone · 02/02/2021 14:57

Dying to know what it is. There aren't many things I can think of that a supplier would think I'd want two of. Only flowers or a food hamper perhaps.

Wenolikeexplodeythings · 02/02/2021 14:58

@SpiderinaWingMirror

No it wouldn't. This has nothing to do with the company. It was a group of friends, not just colleagues, arranging a gift for another friend. One person took on all he work of sorting it, they were messed around by the seller, the seller has apologised to that individual person with a gift. It is theirs. It has nothing to do with the company they work for, nothing to do with a company raffle and nothing to do with a charity chosen by their company.

Monkeytapper · 02/02/2021 14:59

Organiser should keep it

HunterHearstHelmsley · 02/02/2021 15:03

The organiser shouldn't have told them. Its their. It was given to them by the company as compensation.

MrsKoala · 02/02/2021 15:03

I don’t understand this. They are 2 completely separate transactions. 1 the group of you brought something for someone. 2 the organiser of the group had hassle with a company and the company have compensated her for her troubles. It is irrelevant what she was buying, with whose money and for whom. She was messed about by a company and they have done the decent thing and recognised this. I can’t see how anyone thinks this compensation should be for them. Unless they are saying they were inconvenienced too - which they weren’t.

QueenOfPain · 02/02/2021 15:05

If I was the organiser who’d endured all the hassle, I wouldn’t have even told the rest of the group about the freebie tbh.

BabblativeBean · 02/02/2021 15:10

Obviously the organiser should have the item. It had nothing to do with the original gift, it was compensation for the hassle that the organiser had faced.

Having said that, if I was the organiser I wouldn't want whatever it was now. I'd give it to whoever felt they had the greatest claim to it and not organise anything again.

AryaStarkWolf · 02/02/2021 15:12

@MrsKoala

My original opinion was that if it could be split it should be and if not then the organiser should keep it but actually you're absolutely right

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