I don’t like this life.

[Maskedminger]

It’s been almost a year, everything changed, am still suffering from covid from March, am inside for 12 hours per day with my toddler. My ‘Old’ life seems a far away, distant memory, the only highlight is going to do the food shopping, feel there’s nothing to look forward to.
I’m starting to feel just nothing inside, anyone else?

Me too OP. The only saving grace I have is that I’m not WFH, i’m having to go in. When I was on furlough full time- my mental health really took a bashing.

Hopefully we will all get through this soon though

I agree.
Utterly sick of hearing the words ‘safely’ and ‘safe’ ‘ in every other sentence.

Feeling very frustrated now, it’s been so long, worried for my DD too, no playgroup, swimming lessons, real parties etc for a year, missing so much of life 😕

There seems to be no real enjoyment in life now, no laughs.

Yeah. I'm past the climbing the walls stage and am fully at "dead inside". If I didn't have a child I'd just stay in bed and work from there all day. If I didn't have a job either I'd just stay in bed all day.

It's not even the worst I've ever felt, but it's the most numb.

Kids wanted to go to the park today but I just couldn't face it, trudging round a freezing, muddy park for the millionth time. I'm so bored of everything.

I’ve been suffering with covid since March too. Dd and I loathe homeschooling. I have to stand over her and every written word is a result of tears and tantrums. I miss the job I love I miss exercise And telly and films will be rubbish for a couple of years now.

Totally feeling the same op.

The last week I've slipped into the that hate my life thought process and can't get out of it.

I was full of motivation for today that I would be getting an extra dog walk in as well as getting some training in on my wii fit and I e not done it and I feel really crap about it again

The weather is wet drizzly dark and cold so even the dog doesn't want to go out so it was a quick walk round the block in the rain for both of us this evening and this morning.

I'm sick of doing the same shot day in day out.

I did sign up for two online courses weeks ago and it's taken me until today to actually get into what I'm doing and crack on I'm just so distracted but don't know what by really.
Move dragged my kindle out turned it on and charged it but not started reading anything on it and I've tried to re start a book but again can't get into it.

I hate feeling like this.
It's so crap

It sounds silly, but something that irrationally pisses me off is that there are now things I used to enjoy, like hiking/walking, that I'll never enjoy again. Not only am I sick to fucking death of them, they now will always remind me of this shitshow of a time.

Me too. I am so angry at what the government are doing to our kids. I honestly don't think they realise the seriousness of the impact on them (and therefore on parents). They need to prioritise them as they are taking the brunt of this.

Yep. Totally and utterly over the relentless Groundhog Day feeling. Usually I can perk up and look forward to good times ahead but I’ve hit a wall. All this talk of the SA variant is the final straw. Worried about my toddlers too- they’ve literally seen 2 other kids since March (they’re not in nursery) and although they’re happy enough it’s bound to affect their socialisation etc.

It literally feels never-ending - as soon as something positive happens more depressing news looms in its wake.

@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom

Yeah. I'm past the climbing the walls stage and am fully at "dead inside". If I didn't have a child I'd just stay in bed and work from there all day. If I didn't have a job either I'd just stay in bed all day.

It's not even the worst I've ever felt, but it's the most numb.

Same here. I’m not living, I’m just existing. If it weren’t for DH and DS I don’t think I’d ever get out of bed.

@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom summed it up for me with 'dead inside' and 'numb'

First lockdown mentally I was at breaking point but felt like I had some fight left inside me and an end in sight. Now I'm just completely empty, and have lost the will to even try to pick myself back up.

I know I need to exercise. It's my saviour. But I can't be bloody arsed!! I am known as the positive person. But home schooling and prepping and working is just shite. I need to prep school for tomorrow but I just. Can't. Face. It.

Then I feel worse that I am not getting it done.

Then a child comes and shows me drawing or a song they have written. Or places a hand on my shoulder and tells me to "persevere" and I think although I am failing, they have just accepted it and moved on. No matter how much we fuck up, however shit this gets, they continue to be brilliant and funny and resilient. That'll do for now.

Yep. Was sat here just now on the sofa wondering how much longer I can cope with this.

Dead inside & numb sum it up perfectly, it’s feels like we’re existing, not living. No joy, no motivation, everything is just bloody shit. But the vaccines being given out daily are at least giving me hope 🙏

I hate it. I'm fed up of people saying things like "just be grateful you're alive" "you're only being asked to sit on the sofa and watch netflix" as well.

Agree with the dead inside comment.
I go to work every day like a robot.
Come home have no conversation as have nothing to talk about.
As someone once said, ‘ I am existing not living ‘

I keep remonstrating with my self, I know I’m lucky, I have a job and even managed a promotion during Covid, have my health, etc;
But there is no joy in life right now.

The same. I weigher myself today and have put on weight since the initial loss after having my baby in November. Heaviest I have ever been, look and feel disgusting but not doing anything about it. No motivation and, honestly, if I take away eating what the hell I like, I have nothing left to look forward to.

Also, what am I losing weight for? Sure I have a lofty goal in mind, but there are no holidays, parties, weekends away etc to spur me on and motivate me.

Lockdown with a toddler and a newborn is hell on earth. Every single day the bloody same. Hate it.

I used to love walking. All I see is litter everywhere now , I'm sick to death of picking it up.

@bumblenbean - tomorrow is Groundhog Day (it’s DS’s birthday, which is how I know).

I agree with everyone. I’m so bloody sick of being at home all the time. I haven’t been into the office since 13 March. I hate WFH with a passion. I want to go back to the office and be somewhere different and see some actual people.

I know it’s bad now but once they release all the restrictions I guarantee you will be out teenybopping drinking and back in the swing of it ASAP

@OverByYer That’s it, there’s just nothing to say. Dp comes back from work and is probably a little better for him as he sees a few colleagues, but I’m starting to feel like I can’t even be bothered to talk, it’s bizarre.
I’m also pissed off that the walks I used to love in the woods, I no longer will as that’s all we do now.

I think there just doesn't seem a lot of hope now. Constant mutations of the bloody virus. Schools shut. No mixing. Not even seeing our close family. Its just awful .

I’m the same OP. I was determined to cope well with it all. Then I caught covid in early autumn and everything since then has been shit. I’m worried sick about my kids education (DS in critical exam year with a crap teacher in a key subject). I think I have long covid; my elderly parents are in poor health and things are a little tense at times as DH and I have both been working from home throughout. Some days I just feel like crawling back under the duvet and never getting back up. But then I know things are much worse for others and tell myself to shut up and get on with it. (I’m not saying anyone else should do that- it’s just my coping strategy for me).