I don’t like this life.

[Maskedminger]

It’s been almost a year, everything changed, am still suffering from covid from March, am inside for 12 hours per day with my toddler. My ‘Old’ life seems a far away, distant memory, the only highlight is going to do the food shopping, feel there’s nothing to look forward to.
I’m starting to feel just nothing inside, anyone else?

@MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously

But it's not one person is it - there are a lot of elderly and vulnerable people who will die if we don't protect them.

We aren’t locked down to protect the elderly we’re locked down to protect the nhs being overrun. Quite frankly I no longer think this is worth it, let the elderly and vulnerable shield until vaccinated

?! at the poster who said they were surprised to hear so many were finding it difficult.

They must be very unimaginative or deliberately being obtuse.

Of course people are going to be feeling awful having had much of what makes life worth living (family / friends/ work / earnings / school/ travel), taken away for close to a year.

Still, a bracing walk by the sea should be the only tonic we need. Love and light to all!

To be clear most of us cba to do the aforementioned walk....
We're all bored to tears by the motivating fresh air etc etc etc
Lockdown 1 - yes
Lockdown 3 - despair / depression makes it too hard to bother

Do expand

There was one man in the local media complaining that his father had died off Covid after contracting it in hospital after heart surgery. He was 93! The son was 70.

Old people are statistically more likely to die. It happens. In normal times, they die of pneumonia and flu frequently at this time of year.
We are not immortal. I personally think its disgraceful to stop educating children and students for a virus with an average age of death of 82.

Average life expectancy in the UK is around 81. How can we have an NHS which routinely utitlises the Liverpool Pathway and DNR orders, yet is used as a reason for shutting down the country to add what is realistically a couple more winters onto the lives of individuals who have already exceeded average life expectancy? The NHS really isn't that bothered about keeping the elderly alive at all costs or treating them with kid gloves in normal times.

Even if we took the elderly out of the equation I think the govt are concerned about possible mutations which the vaccines can't help and effects of long Covid which are still unknown.

I do the walk. Every day. Even though the pain from my back makes me cry on the way home.

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross

I wholly agree with you.

It's grim and I think everyone's struggling. I've two more rooms to decorate and had been very focused on that but have lost all interest. One of the things which has helped me has been The Duchess of Cornwall's Reading room on instagram. If anyone had told me I'd have enjoyed that I really would have been surprised.

I feel so numb. I think I might have low grade depression. Wanted do change jobs ciming back from maternity leave last March. Still there and it's so hard to move on at the moment. Feeling guilty DD doesn't have any siblings to play with, if this goes in for much longer. But scared of getting pregnant again as I already feel like I have become a housewife, I want my old life back. So torn and guilty and sad.

I’ve not read everything, so someone may have already said this - but think about how you’re feeling now and imagine life always being that way. Because for some of us, this has pretty much been it for a long time. When you’re broke and you can’t ever afford to go out, or give your kids birthday parties, or sign them up for groups/classes your day is always the same - get up, drop at school, go to work, collect from school, go home, cook dinner, watch tv, go to bed. Repeat for 5 days. At the weekend it’s just get up at some point, do housework, watch tv, go to bed. Repeat on Sunday.

Yes there’s the leaving the house for work (unless you already worked from home - I only did 1 day per week previously) but that was it and I’m personally more productive at home as I don’t get so many interruptions as I do in the office!

I’m not saying you’re wrong for feeling this way - but be grateful you can afford to usually have a life. Not having had a holiday in years, no day trips, no meals out, no date nights, no girls nights, most of your friends don’t really stay in touch anymore because you could never do anything..... it all affects you but you don’t have a choice. At least you know when all of this is “over” you’ll get back some of that old life. Me? It’ll just be a new day in the same way as the previous 7/8 years before it.

And yet somehow I can still find the positive. I’ve been the one trying to cheer up my co-workers, make my friends happy, organising virtual social events etc. None of them ever gave a thought about me, or any of their other friends in the same position as me when they were flitting here, there and everywhere - but the moment this started, we knew how people would be feeling and we’ve done what we can to make them feel better, despite knowing nothing changes for us. Today my boss’ boss talked and encouraged us all to get our luxury holidays booked for later in the year to give us hope...... I sat there silently thinking I can’t even book a crappy holiday. Not even camping somewhere!

So sure, feel sorry for yourself by all means. But when it’s over, remember to check in on your friends who don’t have a real life. Maybe do something virtual for them occasionally, because it’s lonely as hell living like this and the only way we could get our friends to connect with us again was through a government enforced lockdown. Be grateful that you have a life to get back (and not just on the you’re alive thanks to the measures front).

Feel like I'm hell right now . Nothing is making me happy. I spend the days with my toddler ( who does make me happy ) however it's frustrating as it's ground hog day.. he is up at 6 am every day . Wont sit still for 5 minutes .. I am shattered trying to get through the day entertain him, go for a wet walk etc . By the time partner is home evening I just take myself off for bed. I don't sleep because it's finally some alone time so I just scroll my phone or watch tv. I am so touched out he is always all over me and whining to be picked up all day , I give my all to him I have nothing left.

I work 2 days a week very long shifts and hate my job/ work. I work from home there's no escape just sat dining room table speaking to people in a support capacity for 12.5 hours a day don't even get chance to go to the toilet some days

There's nothing enjoyable at all

namechangedasscared. I can relate to what your saying somewhat. I am on a low, fixed income and haven’t had a holiday for over 5 years, don’t eat out, get takeaways, going on trips etc because I cant. I finally feel on equal terms with everyone else now as they can’t either. I don’t begrudge anyone the things they can afford to do but for once I don’t have that pang of wishing I could just book a weekend trip or go out for a nice afternoon tea, or day out.

That said I’m depressed, sad and lonely because the one thing i can usually do is meet friends for a chat over a cup of tea and have a nice Walk together. Luckily I’m in a bubble with another single friend and I’m hugely grateful for her company but I am on my own too much with too much time to think which isn’t good at all.

I actually think this country has gone a bit crazy. The Government has deliberately caused panic as a mechanism to get infection rates down, and it is obsessed with its standing in international leagues for both infections and deaths. People are really scared of catching coronavirus now and its as if all the hyponchondriacs are in charge of the asylum. Anyone speaking out is at risk of being attacked on the internet and accused of all sorts of nonsense.

It seems to have been forgotten that there is a more than 99% survival rate, that people, especially old people, die of respiratory viruses and pneumonia all the time and that long covid is unquantified. Its actually normal to feel a little short of breath for a few weeks after a serious respiratory illness.

The country is now governed by unelected, unaccountable scientists. I also don't necessarily follow everything that doctors come out with religiously. Doctors see worst case scenarios and some would willingly wrap us up in cotton wool and have us do nothing, no sport, nothing excessive, because it reduces risk of injury in their speciality. When obesity, Type 2 diabetes, heart disease, etc are treated in an entirely different way and risk taking behaviour in regard to those is tolerated. The NHS seems to encourage lowest common denominator thinking.

What we need more knowledge of is what is happening in other countries. France I believe recently refused to lockdown again. There are riots in The Netherlands due to a 3 week lockdown (not even as strict as ours because there is no internal travel ban). I believe that the UK is the only country in northern Europe that is preventing its citizens, under threat of arrest and criminal fines, from travelling from one part to another. And its been like that here off and on since November! Yet, the British, cowed into fear and silence, are being extremely docile about it. Thats what I find really scary.

Its so easy to lose important freedoms and never quite get them back. Then when the next Foot and Mouth outbreak occurs, or the next predicted bad flu season which never transpires, or the next Feguson-inspired doom-mongering, worst case scenario model over-predicts the severity of a new virus from China, the go-to is so easily lockdown again.

@GreenlandTheMovie totally agree with everything you say. The public have been scared into submission and young healthy people are terrified of catching a virus they have virtually no chance of dying from. Obviously older and vulnerable people need to take great care, just like they would with the flu virus. Everyone has become risk averse and it's taken completely out of proportion. It's going to take a lot of work by the government to convince people live their lives normally again.

It’ll switch and messaging will flip. Can’t wait.

Ps Greenland great to hear about movie, looks right up our street

I was ill with chronic health conditions pre-covid and was often housebound and haven't had a holiday outside of my country for 8 years. I'm still depressed and deadly bored now.

I had a virus last March (maybe Covid, no test so I don't know) and have been largely bedbound ever since, so people are completely wrong if they think it's a case of "being a bit out of breath". It's fucking awful. GP told me to get on with things. I'm delighted if I can walk around around the block without having to cower to the ground to avoid fainting. Most of the time I struggle to get from the sofa to my bed when I want, rather than waiting for hours to be able to do it. I soon feel worn out and head back to bed again. I'm trying to home educate, parent and work from my bed.

I'm so bored, I feel trapped, i'm sad, i'm hurt by so-called friends not giving a shit. I feel lost and alone. I'd get a dog for company but wouldn't be well enough to walk it. I don't know how much longer this will last or even how i'll manage to do normal things again anyway. I feel for everyone else in similar circumstances, it's miserable. Not everyone can, or wants, to walk around in the freezing cold shitey weather to stay 'inspired', or learn a new language or cook new meals and do home workouts. Some of us have no motivation and feel too shit to even begin to be able to do anything like that and i resent being made to feel like i'm not trying hard enough when I can't even fucking stand up most the time.

I also think that personally knowing people in their 50s who are no longer with us because of Covid makes it feel real to us. It doesn't stop me wanting to be able to sit in a coffee shop and read a book though.

I am so angry at what the government are doing to our kids. I honestly don't think they realise the seriousness of the impact on them (and therefore on parents)

I am so angry at what the pandemic is doing to our kids. I honestly don't think they realise the seriousness of the impact on them (and therefore on parents)

Fixed that for you.

@SummerHouse

I know I need to exercise. It's my saviour. But I can't be bloody arsed!! I am known as the positive person. But home schooling and prepping and working is just shite. I need to prep school for tomorrow but I just. Can't. Face. It.

Then I feel worse that I am not getting it done.

Then a child comes and shows me drawing or a song they have written. Or places a hand on my shoulder and tells me to "persevere" and I think although I am failing, they have just accepted it and moved on. No matter how much we fuck up, however shit this gets, they continue to be brilliant and funny and resilient. That'll do for now.

Do you not think it's quite sad that children have just accepted it and moved on though? There was a viral video, shown on tv this week, of a little girl in America who went up to everything she saw on a wall or in the street that slightly resembled a sanitiser dispenser and pretended to press it and then rub her hands together. Most people thought it was funny and cute, I just thought it was sad.

namechangedasscared

Best post I've seen in ages. Well said!

@namechangedasscared

I’ve not read everything, so someone may have already said this - but think about how you’re feeling now and imagine life always being that way. Because for some of us, this has pretty much been it for a long time. When you’re broke and you can’t ever afford to go out, or give your kids birthday parties, or sign them up for groups/classes your day is always the same - get up, drop at school, go to work, collect from school, go home, cook dinner, watch tv, go to bed. Repeat for 5 days. At the weekend it’s just get up at some point, do housework, watch tv, go to bed. Repeat on Sunday.

Yes there’s the leaving the house for work (unless you already worked from home - I only did 1 day per week previously) but that was it and I’m personally more productive at home as I don’t get so many interruptions as I do in the office!

I’m not saying you’re wrong for feeling this way - but be grateful you can afford to usually have a life. Not having had a holiday in years, no day trips, no meals out, no date nights, no girls nights, most of your friends don’t really stay in touch anymore because you could never do anything..... it all affects you but you don’t have a choice. At least you know when all of this is “over” you’ll get back some of that old life. Me? It’ll just be a new day in the same way as the previous 7/8 years before it.

And yet somehow I can still find the positive. I’ve been the one trying to cheer up my co-workers, make my friends happy, organising virtual social events etc. None of them ever gave a thought about me, or any of their other friends in the same position as me when they were flitting here, there and everywhere - but the moment this started, we knew how people would be feeling and we’ve done what we can to make them feel better, despite knowing nothing changes for us. Today my boss’ boss talked and encouraged us all to get our luxury holidays booked for later in the year to give us hope...... I sat there silently thinking I can’t even book a crappy holiday. Not even camping somewhere!

So sure, feel sorry for yourself by all means. But when it’s over, remember to check in on your friends who don’t have a real life. Maybe do something virtual for them occasionally, because it’s lonely as hell living like this and the only way we could get our friends to connect with us again was through a government enforced lockdown. Be grateful that you have a life to get back (and not just on the you’re alive thanks to the measures front).

You don’t hVe friends that would sit in your house and have a chat over a cuppa?

@RuledbyASD

I feel the same way as most of you on here, but let's spare a thought for all those who had 5+ years of similar in 1939-45. Air raids, bombs dropping, rationing & shortages of everything - not just food. Only being allowed so many inches of bath water & so many bars of the gas fire etc and clothing coupons... No virus, granted but I expect bombs & the threat of Hitler overthrowing the country were far, far scarier. I think we have it much easier.

Those people still had it better than Victorian Britons who lived in the workhouse, had their kids sent up chimney to sweep them and could look forward to living to the ripe old age of 43.

And those people had it better than the ones who lived in the middle ages and lived in mud huts with no heating, water or toilet.

Or do we think that maybe comparing to people who lived through things before most of us were even born, might be irrelevant in the modern day?

Yes. I'm sorry you're feeling like this and hope it improves. I had Covid back in April and the shortness of breath has never gone away. I'm on steroid inhalers and if I get a bit of a cold it gets worse. My fatigue has mainly gone and I can now walk on the flat again... But hills exhaust me. Long Covid is no joke. However, that said, it doesn't warrant these interminable lockdowns. I'm wfh, counselling teenagers, and it's heart breaking. Oh, and the WW2 analogy.... I spent the 1st 28 years of my life in Belfast during the troubles.... Not the same, at least to me.