Would you date someone shorter?

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I'm going for a socially distanced walk next week with someone I met on tinder and have been chatting to for a short while, (yes it is allowed and he lives round the corner from me!). Problem is I think he might be shorter than me! I'm about 5ft8 so not small. I've always dated tall men. I'm not sure if it will bother me but I'm nervous it'll be awkward! I haven't asked how tall he is as don't want to turn it in to a thing but he looks short in his social media photos. Has anyone here ever been on a date with someone shorter? Am I incredibly shallow to worry about this?

Yes, totally.

My DP is about 5 8" and I'm 3 inches or so taller. I wear heels if I want to.

He is amazing.

I still fit in my school uniform!

Primary school or what? Like that means nothing. I haven't gotten any taller since I was 14 so if I was 16 and a size 20 and a size 20 now my school uniform would still fit me .

I am tall and was never interested in short men. It just gives me the ick.

We are all allowed to have preferences about what we find attractive and physical attraction has to be there for a relationship. The Equality Act doesn't apply to dating!

I would

Or else, at 6ft1, I’d never date anyone

Love hoe people compare men being short to women being fat. It’s not the same thing

The equivalent would be to ask men if they’d date taller women . Most won’t ...

I didn't know about the suicide link someone mentid earlier but it makes sense to me. Every time I join a dating site I have short men in my inbox asking if their height is an immediate no go. Its waaaay more prevalent than I realised initially, which is sad really since most men aren't 6ft tall and above.

People have been so rude to short men in my life. I find it's one of those insults people don't really think about. Super casual. Like those dumb blonde or ginger jokes that were everywhere in the 90s.

@CorianderBlues

To those saying you would only date someone taller:

Firstly, you shallow biatches.

Secondly, how would you feel if someone said they wouldn't date you because you were too fat? Chaps, generally, can't control their height in the same way as someone CAN control their weight. But that wouldn't stop everyone from telling him he's a scumbag shallow POS.

This type of thread really shines a light.

Thing is, it's not just taller women that are funny about it. Some short men are way weird about it, which personally I think is a shame. They often seem to feel emasculated by a taller woman and can generally be a bit arsy and defensive about the whole thing. I don't mind them being shorter, but I also can't help it!!

However, I’d never date a man who calls a group of women “biatches”

It wouldn't put me off if I liked someone and they were short.

I'm 5' 9 and dated a few shorter men before I met DH. I remember being conscious of it, but mainly because I felt it bothered them.
Mind you, DH is only 5' 11. For twenty years he said he was 6 ft and then we both had health checks and I said 'Oh look, it says you're 5' 11

If I was a very tall women (5,10 +) I think I would be a bit more forgiving of someone slightly shorter. Because for all intents and purposes, he isn't 'short', I would just be taller than average. However being that I am 5ft1, any man shorter than me would just be a no unfortunately!

No I wouldn’t date anyone smaller than me. I’m 5’2” and I’ve only dated men 6 foot +. My DP is 6’2”. Maybe ask how tall he is. He might be the same height as you.

I'd say go on the date and see how you feel. It's only a very casual date, and you might not get on, or he might not be as short as you think, and this worrying would be for nothing. If after meeting him you aren't attracted to him (whether that's because of his height or anything else) then you aren't obliged to carry on with a relationship of any kind.

For what it's worth, DH is 5 inches shorter than me. I'm 5ft10 and used to be so self conscious about my height, I never thought I could date a shorter man, but then I met DH and it honestly has never been an issue. We met sitting down

I get what other people have said about wanting to feel "small" or "safe" and my DH does make me feel like that. He's very physically strong and muscly, can pick me up, has big hands and arms, and is a good provider. I hate to think I might have missed out on him because of an arbitrary height rule!

Well being 5"2 I probably wouldn't!

When a woman does it, it is seemingly ignored/accepted. I just do not like double standards, for anything. If it's good for a him, it's good for a her

I don’t know, if a man said he didn’t wish to date a woman taller than him, which let’s face it is the equivalent due to the general make up of the population, and by general I mean average, yes I’m fully aware some men are shorter and some women taller, then I think most people would be ok with it.

Some men don’t wish to be with women taller than them. Some women don’t want to be with men shorter than them. I don’t think anyone should be attacked for it. We are allowed to fancy who we fancy. No one is entitled to someone fancying them.

For me, the thought of a shorter man reaching up or tiptoeing to kiss me, just doesn’t appeal and I don’t like to feel like I’m the big one out of the two.

@SusannaSpider

Wow, shocked by the replies. DH is 5'8” and I'm 5'10". In heels I do tower over him a bit, I've never given it a thought though, he's a good guy I'm lucky to have him (though I tell him he's lucky to have me😁) and I've never thought twice about his height. Though I do notice that tall men often choose women a lot shorter than them, leaving us tall girls out in the cold.

That isn’t my experience and I’m a tall girl! I’ve never had a problem dating, despite only dating men over 6ft. There are plenty out there so don’t feel the need to include short men in my pool whe I just don’t find them physically attractive. Also if they’re over 6ft and I’m 5”9 then there wouldn’t be an issue height wise for either one of us.

This thread is really depressing. My DS is only 9 and short and stocky like his Dad. He already gets a lot of crappy comments from people that really upset him. It seems to be socially acceptable to be negative about short guys when other personal comments wouldn't be tolerated. It's still unkind, it's still judgemental and it still hurts people and affects them deeply.
I'm doing all I can to build his self-esteem but it's so hard when short men/boys seem to be fair game and 'be kind' hasn't quite stretched to them yet. I'm not saying anyone should date someone they're not attracted to but I think we need to be a bit careful with casual derogatory comments about short men.

I don't think it's shallow to not force yourself to date someone you don't find attractive.
I've never been actively looking for a partner (met mine through a mutual interest, very few relationships beforehand), so I've never had men asking if their height is an issue, or specified any preferences, but I did get one guy, years ago, who I thought was talking to me (online) to try to be friends. He then said he wasn't interested as he hadn't realised I had an "alternative" look, then followed up by asking if he had said something that made me think he was interested in "alternative women", or if he looked like he was into "that scene", so he could change his approach in future. I didn't reply.

The reality is no matter what anyone says here, when love gets you it just bloody gets you and you no longer care about your ‘rules’.

I think OP only put this here because of her anxiety about leading a guy on. She obviously likes him or wouldn’t be meeting him, but it’s always nerve-wracking meeting for a date in case they REALLY dig you and you don’t dig them. I think what this thread shows is that there is someone out there for everyone!

My man might be 6 ft but he’s no athlete. Before him all my partners were serious sporty types and the love of my life has a bit of a dad bod but I love and fancy him more than anyone I’ve ever known.

People say they have a type, and that’s okay, but they may find themselves changing their mind without even a thought when Cupid fires and hits his target!

I agree with magenta

All my previous boyfriends (and my current partner) have been over 6 foot. I'm well aware that I'm socially conditioned to see them as more attractive, but I do, so...
A girl I once knew claimed she could never date a man skinnier than her, as I have always been happy to do

My DP is 6”3, so ticks the height box however he has many other qualities which I love about him. Height is just the starting point(basic) but not the be all and end all.

[quote PaddyF0dder]@GreenlandTheMovie

I think it’s needs a bit more nuance.

Obviously people are entitled to fancy who they fancy, and shag who they want to shag. Nobody owes anyone else that.

But it’s interesting that a single physical trait (short man) is viewed so excessively negatively, and indeed has a well-established correlation with suicide. Worth wondering if that’s simple biological reality, or something to do with social conditioning or whatever. And what could be done to address it in the future. Something is clearly wrong with how society views short men, and it causes harm.

As you can probably guess, I’m a short man. I found it really tough and depressing in my teens and early 20s. I eventually “got past it”, largely by developing confidence and learning how to accentuate other parts of me. I’ve had relationships with people of various heights, and I’m now happily married with a bunch of kids. It worked out ok, in the end.

But yeah. Being a short guy can be a really horrible experience. One of my sons is clearly headed for being short, like me. Right now he’s a sparkling, smart, funny, lovely 3 year old. I really worry about what his teenage years will be like, when he learns that most people won’t consider him, and a lot of people will either bully or ignore him, all because of a completely unmodifiable physical trait. It’s not like obesity, which can be changed. Your height is your height. I fear about him feeling depressed, or suicidal, like I did.[/quote]
I'm 5ft 10. Would you have dated me? my partner is 2 inches shorter than me. My boyfriend before him was 5ft 6. He had a problem with my height. I honestly don't worry about height in men and haven't really dated many taller than me. I know my height has put people off.

I only did once, I feel like godzilla.
I am 5.5 but quite large boned ,big hands, feet. My late OH was 6ft 1 and I always felt quite dainty when out with him !

felt like godzilla I meant. how do you edit on here ?