To ask for a pat on the back RE weight loss - sad about DH's reaction

[FluffyBlueJumper]

Since mid-October I have lost a lot of weight (over 4 stone). I have gone from a size 18 to an 8-10.
DH has not said a thing, so yesterday I playfully asked him to feel my back, because all the padding has gone.
The only thing he said was "Ew, your skin has changed, it is like old lady's skin". (FYI I am 39 and there is no loose skin hanging off my body).

I am feeling crushed. It has made me realise that I cannot even remember the last time he complimented me. It is always little digs, little put downs.

Can you please tell me I have done great?

Amazing! Well done.

"when I try to talk to him about me feelings, he waves his hands around saying "look at me, look at me! I'm a pwincess", then goes on a rant about spoilt, whiny "Western women"."

Oh that is so cruel.

If he cared about you one iota he couldn't say that.

Why did he marry a "Western Woman" if they are spoilt & whiny??!!

Absolutely amazing OP. We are all cheering for you even though your husband sounds very unkind and not at all loving 🙁

You have done a brilliant job and look fabulous 🎉 💐

Firstly congratulations on your looks and most important of all your achievements. I know it can be so difficult following these routines day after day after day. Well done.

We would like to hear about your next targets.
Will it be a weight target, or a size target based on inches or a clothing one such as a particular dress or shorts for the summer.
My own target is a suit I wore at business meetings.

Congratulations OP, you've done an amazing job on the weight loss, you look amazing.
I'm very worried, however, about your awful-sounding DH. He doesn't sound like a loving, supportive partner - he sounds the opposite. If he carries on like this, you will have a miserable life, or you will eventually leave him.

Very well done to you OP

Clearly you deserve congratulations on your amazing achievement. You are healthier and happier in your own skin. Well done!
Now. Your husband is an abuser and he despises you. Are you going to stay with a man who despises you?

I don't think your H doesn't like you. I think it's quite the opposite. You are very attractive and younger than him, and look even younger than you are.
He never compliments you and tries to put you down.
I think he is terrified that you are too good for him and is trying to keep you in your place so you don't realise. 'You are so awful no one else would want you, so don't leave me'.
Doesn't make it easier to deal with and my only advice is make no concessions to this. Don't restrict what you wear, where you go etc to try and keep him happy.
It won't work and the restrictions he will put on you will only increase, until you are a prisoner of his insecurities.

Fantastic weight loss well done, I hope to do similar. Ignore your DH I had a man like him in my life once, he was always moaning about me being fat so I lost weight and managed to fit into size 10 (had previously been size 24) and he still said I was fat and compared me to his DD who was a size 6/8 (I happened to know his DD had battled with an eating disorder for years hence being so tiny) Some men feel insecure when their OH lose weight, ignore him and feel proud, you have done brilliantly, well done

Amazing. You're beautiful and you've done brilliantly. I would honestly re think your marriage. Your DH sounds really quite horrible and insecure. You're still young, you have years ahead of you - be happy.

@austenwildfell my next target is maintaining my weight long-term, especially when we are allowed a social life again. I am happy with the way I look and feel, I do not want to lose any more.

However I have a few fitness targets such as being able to do 45 seconds of jump squats .

You look amazing, well done. Your husband is unpleasant, you deserve better.

Shit! You’re not just slim and fit, you are incredibly beautiful.
The latter is just luck of course but the former is a fantastic achievement. Well done!
I’m sorry your DH appears to be a dick. Looking back, was it always there or did it emerge once you were “trapped”?

Still can't believe you've gone from an 18 to a 10. Every time I see this story I smile!

You absolute bitch OP

I'm so copying you, down to a 10 by April, come on LETS DO IT!!!

Wow - you’ve done an absolutely fantastic job and great idea to set more goals to keep yourself motivated. You look sooo young too! Hope your ‘D’H wakes up and realises he’s gonna lose you...his reaction is far from normal.

Well done you

Well done OP! Congratulations and you look amazing and healthy. Your DH is being miserable.

I just reread your posts and I can’t believe you are 39! You look a young mid-twenties.

@FluffyBlueJumper, That is so sensible, so grounded. Good luck with the squats. (I am not a bit envious)😊

Holy cow OP, that is amazing. Ignore your twat of a DH.

And I fully agree with this 👍

because in his warped petty jealous mind other men will now see you differently and his constant previous attempts at put downs won't have a hold on you anymore.

when I try to talk to him about me feelings, he waves his hands around saying "look at me, look at me! I'm a pwincess", then goes on a rant about spoilt, whiny "Western women". Last time was on Christmas Day, when I explained very calmly that not getting a single present from him upset me and made me feel unappreciated.

Oh this has given me the absolute RAGE! OP, please don't tolerate shite like this from anyone, never mind your own husband. I've lost a lot of weight over the last year and DH is always encouraging and telling me how well I've done. THAT'S what yours should be doing too. Are you happy being with him?

I am actually getting a bit angry now. I guess I have lots of thinking to do about the bigger picture, not this single nasty comment.

This. Looks like the comment is a symptom, a part of a bigger picture where he comes across as someone who likes to humiliate you with off-hand comments. Probably time to think about the future of your relationship in general.

Who the hell is the 4% who has voted YABU on this? 🙄 You are twats, just like OP’s DH.

You look amazing! Well done! Your husband is jealous and worried you will leave him for someone that deserves you! (that's what I think!)