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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what the last 12 months has made you realise

155 replies

Carolbaskinstiger · 31/01/2021 22:44

So this time last year the world was pretty different. I was on a health kick (that I believe would have lasted if not for lockdown), had a booked diary of parties/holidays etc.

A year later and things are pretty different. The people’s parties I would have gone to I probably haven’t spoken to now in months, the fitness is out of the window etc.

But on the positive side I’ve realised:
I really do enjoy dh’s company
My business is more secure than I ever realised
I’m fairly happy not doing very much I’m probably quite lazy
I do love the pub.

On the other hand
While I have good friends - I don’t really have a friend I can just ring up and chat
I really miss seeing my parents - so maybe rely on them a lot

What have you realised over the past year?

OP posts:
KasparKat · 31/01/2021 22:48

I love my family and spending time with DH and DC. I never get bored of their company but equally would love some time alone.

The person who I previously considered my best friend only cares about me when it's convenient for her.

My ILs are selfish rule-breakers who think they are too special to have to follow the rules everyone else does.

I have no will power to exercise unless I'm in a studio class at the gym!

MooseBreath · 31/01/2021 22:48

I wish I lived in the same part of the world as my mom.
It takes a village to raise a child.
Netflix has a really poor selection of programming considering the state of the world.
Cooking isn't as awful as I once thought.

Sheleg · 31/01/2021 22:48

That I'm an antisocial bugger. I've adored being at home so much Blush

TokyoSushi · 31/01/2021 22:53

I had a big group of friends, always out, busy phone, lots of people to chat to etc etc. It turns out that the vast majority were just 'people I knew' I've lost touch with a lot of them and I'm fine about it.

I've also learned that I'm a much better mother when everybody has time apart and their own interests rather than the constant 'togetherness.'

I'm absolutely the 'go to person' in this house. DH is lovely, but if anybody needs anything, they come to me, and it's exhausting.

I am incredibly lucky to have a lovely house and a lovely family, from the outside looking in we've had a very 'easy' pandemic, yet still I've found it really, really hard.

IdblowJonSnow · 31/01/2021 22:56

That life is short and I took so much for granted!
I'm more resilient than I realised.
I'm also less patient than I knew and longing for kids to get back to school!
There aren't many people I miss, it's more being out and about and doing stuff that I've missed.

Original poster
Carolbaskinstiger · 31/01/2021 22:57

have no will power to exercise unless I'm in a studio class at the gym!
I’m exactly the same

OP posts:
Bananabuddy3 · 31/01/2021 22:59

That certain friends (one in particular) are my world and I miss them. And some friends and people are not worth another thought.

That I’m glad I moved jobs about 6 months before this all kicked off (obviously completely unaware of what was coming). I was miserable at my old one and if I hadn’t have managed then, I likely would have been stuck.

That even though my home is weeny and needs some TLC - I have a home that’s mine and I’m in a fortunate position that, as I own about 95% of it, I have options if COVID were to tip me into disaster. Many don’t and I’m so much less bothered by what others have and am just grateful for what I do have.

That even though my family drive me crackers at times, I miss them. Especially my nieces.

That life is too short and if you want to do something, do it (I’m not talking criminal here). And if you want to go somewhere, go. I’m single, there’s places I’ve avoided visiting as I didn’t want to go alone - now we’ve lost so much time? You bet I have plans in place for end of this year and next year which I hope I can do. And I don’t care if people think it’s stupid, which some people I know will.

The importance of looking after myself.

Inpersuitofhappiness · 31/01/2021 22:59

That life really was so simple before covid,
That our jobs aren't as secure as I'd once thought!
That my health really does matter more than I'd realised.

YouBringLightInToADarkPlace · 31/01/2021 23:00

That having a new baby in isolation is a lot harder than the first time round, even though i thought we didn't have much support then- turns out we had loads in comparison!

Doublefaced · 31/01/2021 23:01

That people are incredibly selfish.
That as soon as this pandemic is over, I’ll be looking for ways to leave the career I thought I’d have until I retired ( nursing)
That DH, the kids and I are a tight unit.
That being near the sea is an absolute must for my soul.

Onedaysomedaynowadays · 31/01/2021 23:01

That I'm not a homebody, at all.
That I like my extended family less than I thought I did.
That when faced with financial ruin I was relentless in my quest to keep a roof over my familys heads
That I enjoy going out of the house to work

Mildredandmaud · 31/01/2021 23:02

Loving other people and being loved in return is what life is all about.

I heard this soooo many times in my 35 years and always dismissed it as mush. There are so many important things in life.

But it has taken for me to feel really lonely and isolated to realise that without other people in it life really does lose all meaning.

prawncocktailpringles · 31/01/2021 23:03

That all of the ways I have changed in the ten years of living alone and working from home (spending too much time in my pjs, lacking routine and motivation sometimes, feeling a bit agrophibic etc) are actually very normal and that as a result I am a lot more resilient than I thought.
It has been an eye opener seeing the friends who used to gently tease me about those things respond in exactly the same way to long periods of isolation.

Whitecup4 · 31/01/2021 23:04

I wished for more time with DH and got it as he has been on furlough for a year....what a mistake! I love that guy, I really do, but I miss missing him more and absence really does make the heart grow fonder in my case!

Also learned I’m someone who NEEDS the house to myself, as I don’t go out, when I’m home alone it’s the only time I get to do nothing and I miss it so so so much! I want the house to myself!

ragged · 31/01/2021 23:05

I am a complete and utter coward. Not pretty.

EdgeOfACoin · 31/01/2021 23:07

That I can't stand living in my current home anymore and must move ASAP.

Nohomemadecandles · 31/01/2021 23:07

People bake with yeast for a reason!
The pub's about more than booze.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 31/01/2021 23:07

How very lucky I (and the rest of us) have been to live with so many options and so much freedom.

Pandapotato · 31/01/2021 23:08

That I’m incredibly blessed to have an amazing family.
That I’m a much better mother when I go out to work a few days a week.
That my dh is my fave person to spend time with, ever.
That I’m so glad to live close to my parents.
That I have amazing mates.
That my son’s school do not give a shit about his well-being.
That people can be really disappointing.
That people can amaze me with their strength, resilience and kindness.
That we don’t need all the days out & treats.
That we live in a beautiful place.
That I love cooking, but not all the fucking time.
That I’m so proud to work for the nhs.
That this is hard for each & every one of us in its own way.

HibernatingTill2030 · 31/01/2021 23:13

How precarious my situation is (complicated). I want to change it, just need to work up the courage.
And how, even though my job is shit and doesn't pay well, it's crisis-secure. I am very thankful for that.

Tootsey11 · 31/01/2021 23:14

That a lot of people only think of themselves.

Womencanlift · 31/01/2021 23:16

That I need my weekly ass kicking from my PT to keep me on the track in the gym 😃

Seriously though as much as I can moan about my job as much as everyone else, I do actually work for a great company who has really looked after our well-being over the last year

That I have absolutely no issue being on my own. Solitude and an escape from the daily routine is actually really good for my mental health

That I have no time or respect for people who just look out for number one (I.e. rule breakers) and will happily not have them in my life

TheYearOfSmallThings · 31/01/2021 23:16

That we don’t need all the days out & treats.

I do! It turns out I an very trivial Blush

Whiskeylover45 · 31/01/2021 23:18

That I absolutly love spending time with my DS, 3 doing school work and watching him learn and grow through doing what I do for a job with him.

That I should have done this earlier and not get so bogged down by things outside my control. Lesson learnt.

That I adore DH and our family unit, and the time during lockdown 1 that we were all apart while he shielding was absolutly devastating for us all.

That I miss DSD so so much, and would do anything to see her tomorrow in person and not over facetime.

Who my actual friends are. The ones who genuinely care.

That I loathe my profession that was, at one point, all I wanted to be and that I'm looking to totally change careers once this is all over to one I can progress in and with much better pay.

That reading up on politics just makes me angry.

Also linked to above, that I actually have ambition. Who knew?

That people are selfish and stupid and there is no arguing with that, so why let it bother you?

That time spent together as a family is more important than anything.

That I actually miss my parents when I can't see them. That was a shocking revelation.

Whiskeylover45 · 31/01/2021 23:19

Oh and like others, I bloody miss the pub (not a revelation)