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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what the last 12 months has made you realise

155 replies

Carolbaskinstiger · 31/01/2021 22:44

So this time last year the world was pretty different. I was on a health kick (that I believe would have lasted if not for lockdown), had a booked diary of parties/holidays etc.

A year later and things are pretty different. The people’s parties I would have gone to I probably haven’t spoken to now in months, the fitness is out of the window etc.

But on the positive side I’ve realised:
I really do enjoy dh’s company
My business is more secure than I ever realised
I’m fairly happy not doing very much I’m probably quite lazy
I do love the pub.

On the other hand
While I have good friends - I don’t really have a friend I can just ring up and chat
I really miss seeing my parents - so maybe rely on them a lot

What have you realised over the past year?

OP posts:
Cissyandflora · 31/01/2021 23:59

That life can still surprise me.

cadburyegg · 01/02/2021 00:03

That my marriage wasn’t meant to last Sad

Stigsmother · 01/02/2021 01:00

Just how small my life is, and how lonely I really am.

NovemberR · 01/02/2021 02:55

That I don't love my job as much as I did.
That long Covid is really shitty, and if you've not got your health then life is tough.
That the things I miss are minimal; a coffee in a cafe perhaps.
That my home is my sanctuary and I'm happy doing very little.
That I don't have many friends and I'm not bothered.
That I married a man who is very calm and easy to spend time with (ok I already knew that, but the last year has emphasised it)
That my family, particularly extended, aren't that important to me. I honestly haven't particularly missed them.

I'm probably not a very nice person.

RonaldMcDonald · 01/02/2021 03:11

I will never wear heels again

Nat6999 · 01/02/2021 03:19

That my illness & disabilities don't define me.
To be grateful to my mum for letting ds & I stay with her.
To be glad that I can spend time with my mum when others are missing family.
That I'm proud of ds, he passed all his GCSE's & is working so hard at his A levels & has come such a long way from the child who refused for years to go to school.

BidensWingWoman · 01/02/2021 05:15

Cycling is just the best way to travel where I live. Not cycled for twenty five years till last year.

Walkingwounded · 01/02/2021 05:34

That people can become very self absorbed during lockdown.
That some of my friendships are pretty shallow
That actually I can manage fine with a smaller life. I don’t need to constantly fill it with travel, days out etc.

Melange99 · 01/02/2021 05:37

That I don't have anybody that cares about me - close family are all dead, and DH has become self-centred.

That my long held view that I was the flaky one in the relationship has turned out to not be true - my DH is not good in a crisis after all. I am mentally stronger than I thought.

That I miss spontaneity, going out without booking/planning/taking masks out. When there is somewhere worth going to.

That I am lazy, I have used an injury as an excuse to let fitness slide.

That I have great hair. Hairdressers kept cutting my hair in a bob despite me saying please don't cut my hair in a bob. I have hated my dull and lacklustre hair for years.My hair is longer now, I have been trimming it myself, it is a great colour (boasting, I know, but it is un dyed and the longer length showcases the colour) and I have worked out what hair products work for me. I am now getting compliments from colleagues on Teams who say I have lovely hair. Shallow and vain but I no longer feel quite so dowdy.

Maskedcrusader · 01/02/2021 05:47

I don't like my couch. I really like my neighbours.

Magicpaint · 01/02/2021 05:54

That I cant trust anyone.

BritWifeinUSA · 01/02/2021 06:20

That people can be so easily manipulated, deceived and controlled.

DinosaurDiana · 01/02/2021 06:29

That you think you are free, but you are not.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 01/02/2021 06:31

That this country hates children
That amazon will eventually rule the world
And that I never should have complained about entertaining children for 2 day’s a wk with a plethora of options

speakout · 01/02/2021 06:32

That I am very grown up.
That I have great resilience.
That I have incredible discipline.

Chunkymenrock · 01/02/2021 06:35

No great epiphany for me and sick of reading about it tbh. I've worked all the way through, put on loads of weight when I was already very overweight and been driven crazy by multiple people in a tiny house 24 hours a day. I'm numb actually.

Frolicinameadow · 01/02/2021 06:38

I’ve realised how much I adore and miss my husbands family, we would usually see a lot of them and not being able too has been difficult.
I love being in my own company and the social side of lockdown hasn’t bothered me.
That we’ve done a decent job of raising our kids so far, they’re such sweethearts most of the time.
And that I’m incredibly hard working and don’t need someone over my shoulder to keep me motivated.

Oblomov21 · 01/02/2021 07:01

I haven't learnt that much that I didn't know already.
I knew I needed space. And during lockdown I haven't had it so much. Looking forward to having the house back to myself once lockdown/covid is over, boys back at school.
I too like going out to work at least 1 or 2 days a week.
We are doing ok and there are a lot of people in worse circumstances than us.

Bluesheep8 · 01/02/2021 07:07

That a lot of people are incredibly selfish
That being prevented from seeing my Dad in a care home during his last 5 months before he died will affect me forever.
That I really like my house
That I love where I live
That time with family is precious.

PatchworkElmer · 01/02/2021 07:21
  • My husband really is the best man I know.
  • Running is ok! I always thought I was a ‘studio class only’ kind of person.
  • I am much more resilient than I thought.
  • I am much closer to one of my friends now.

On the other hand-

  • I do ‘need’ people outside my immediate family.
  • DH and I are no longer ‘enough’ for DS. He is lonely and it breaks my heart.
  • I miss having proper ‘activities’ to pin my days around. I miss the zoo, the farm, soft play, swimming...
PatchworkElmer · 01/02/2021 07:22

Oh and our house needs a revamp. The paintwork is tired and we need new carpets. I don’t think this would bother me as much if I wasn’t here 24/7 now!

Malin52 · 01/02/2021 07:27

That when we decided to move to NZ, 6 years ago and amid much angst, that we made the right decision.

But also that you can never rely on being able to move freely around the world, on a moments notice and you don't realise when you might last see your friends and family. Whether 12,000 miles away or 20 miles away.

BessMarvin · 01/02/2021 07:35

I'm trying to think. I wish I'd had some interesting revelations. Mostly I'm stressed and tired from having 2 small children and my husband and I just get fed up and argue with each other.

I'll hopefully not take normal life for granted again though!

itsgettingweird · 01/02/2021 07:36

That I actually do enjoy the company of others more than I realised Grin

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 01/02/2021 07:40

That I live in a beautiful place and we made a good decision to move here - much more scope for walks than where we lived before.

I don’t miss working in the office one bit, loving a more flexible life WFH

I have great friends that I share the same morals with

DH drives me crazy and needs to work from the office a couple of days a week

I need to get my hair and nails done regularly, I miss it so much and I feel so much better about myself Sad