To ask what the last 12 months has made you realise

[Carolbaskinstiger]

So this time last year the world was pretty different. I was on a health kick (that I believe would have lasted if not for lockdown), had a booked diary of parties/holidays etc.

A year later and things are pretty different. The people’s parties I would have gone to I probably haven’t spoken to now in months, the fitness is out of the window etc.

But on the positive side I’ve realised:
I really do enjoy dh’s company
My business is more secure than I ever realised
I’m fairly happy not doing very much I’m probably quite lazy
I do love the pub.

On the other hand
While I have good friends - I don’t really have a friend I can just ring up and chat
I really miss seeing my parents - so maybe rely on them a lot

What have you realised over the past year?

That I need to do something as I live a really sad existence. Although stressing about what that is, and how to do it is making me equally as miserable

I have realised
I have many acquaintances but fewer friends

I thought I liked going to church.
I haven't really missed it

I am an emotional eater and so now am
Fat

Have little self discipline

• that I can’t believe I never wiped my desk,mouse,keyboard and phone and work. I was lazy and sure I was getting lots of colds. Was sure it was from work. Was ill 6 times the year before. Last time was March when I suspected covid. I haven’t been ill since
• that weather really affects my mood.
• I’ve discovered a few places in my town during walks that I never knew existed!
• that I should’ve been using anti bac more often. I just think of all the people who have touched the same items in the shop
• I miss going out to eat

That DP and I were meant to be together and our love has grown even stronger. We spent all the first lockdown together and our relationship and the relationship between me and his family just grew. Now we are apart for this second lockdown we realised we really need to find a way to be together all the time however hard that may be in terms of our kids and jobs.

I don’t have enough gal pals, I need to lose weight but most of the things that used to drive me crazy don’t really matter much if at all. People matter.

Mine are a bit contradictory.

On the one hand, I've realised spending a lot of time at home with my DP and DD is still mostly enjoyable. On the other hand, I will appreciate little things like quiet nights in the pub more in the future.

I've also realised I like my current location more than I thought I would, which is a relief as I was worried I might pine for the bright lights.

That I'm even more of a homebody than I thought.

How strong my relationship is.

How selfish my sister is.

How easily riled I am by selfish people, and how much I let it get to me, which isn't healthy.

How good I am at promoting myself (work related) - something I was scared of before.

How risk averse I am: I've always considered myself to be quite carefree but apparently I am very much not

To wonder if I should go for a period or new build property on Skellig Michael makes total sense.

People need people... even uber hermits like me know this. What I don't need is to be surrounded by neighbours.

I went into cardiac arrest last lockdown (and that became many months of mental and physical recovery). DH has been out of ICU for two weeks after nearly dying of covid (this is not an exaggeration).
So in the space of a year, our 3 kids have nearly lost their parents. Big ol' third eye-opening awakening for all of us.
So what has this past year really, really deeply taught me? Don't worry about the meaning of life. Just focus on your purpose (love) and the time you have here on earth to live that loving life. And that's it really. Everything else just sort of falls into place or maybe it doesn't. Life is tough. But it's got so many good bits, it's worth fighting for.

NC for this.

DH is more of a friend than a partner. I don't like a lot of the things he says either. He annoys me a lot. I will ask for a divorce when the time is right.

My daughter is awesome.

My daughter's headteacher is awesome.

I want to move "home". The City Is Over Party.

My parents will always be cold and distant no matter where I live or what I do with my life. I don't need their approval.

My brother is not just someone who shares my DNA but is actually a cool dude. I actually like him.

Despite being in a customer facing job I actually hate most people. Not helped by the fact I have social anxiety and counselling for it finished a week before Lockdown 1 started. Oh, the irony.

I have two genuine friends who care about me. Everyone else is on the take.

I miss going to my usual cultural haunts and yes, I miss the pub! Especially with one of my two friends.

That my marriage and family life are much happier when we’re all together more. I’d love a break but I love seeing so much more of them than I did when I worked in the office
That I really miss my mum!
That my corporate HR job was not fulfilling me and was really stressful - so I set up my own business as a career development coach helping people in the same position to make changes. Learning how to run a business is a bit scary as I’m a rookie at that, but coaching is what I do best and I absolutely love being able to do it all the time.

That we are a happy and contented family who love each other deeply but that adult dd not living here is best for all of us including her.

Dd 2 &3 are easy people who have a great relationship together and with us and dd3 is happily getting on with home schooling and is in a great place that hopefully continues when back at school.

Dh is a lovely man and I can be quite tricky to live with.

We are very very lucky in our life but don't need to spend money on holidays/ stuff / eating out like we did.

I love time at home alone !

That I am generally very, very boring. I haven’t missed eating out, going out drinking, theatre trips and cinema trips. I really do enjoy going for country walks with my family.

That I waste so much money on crap.

That my DCs are pretty resilient people. That grieving is a long process and much harder when you didn't go to the funeral and that I am not worth much as a person and that lockdown probably is a good thing for the people who might see me otherwise but not good for my colleagues who still have to endure my company on a daily basis.

Who my real friends aren’t and who they are, and that some of them I simply could not make it without.

How much I love my parents, and that I want to move back to live near them.

That it is possible to have a romantic relationship where you don’t argue, even stuck in a tiny house in a global pandemic with fuck all to do, if you are with the right person.

How much I miss going to the pub.

How lonely my marriage is

That my life plans are spot on.
Keep saving hard, take my pension at 55 (nursing) then start travelling. I don't want to die a rich pensioner.
I knew this already, but the last 12 months has reinforced to never take anything for granted.

That I'm not a bad cook.
That I have no self control / discipline when it comes to eating biscuits/cakes/nuts. Huge weight gain.
That I can quite happily exist without any outside help ie my adult children, husband and grandchild are all I need to be content
That housework is just like Groundhog Day.
That i don't need to iron as much asI did.

I don't need to rely on xh and I love being just me and the dc.
I have fantastic friends albeit far few than I thought I had and my core of 5 have got each other through the last year.
I don't enjoy my job and after 25 years (childminder) it's time for a change and I just need to get brave enough to take the jump

That people are selfish, self serving and attention seeking and I am not interested!

I miss my friends and close colleagues terribly and I miss the option of going out for dinner and drinks. I wish I had done more when we could including going out for dinner, going on holiday, spa days and zumba.

I am so glad to be rid of some people and all their noise and drama.

I've realised that there are countless ways to help others in this time of crisis, discreetly and from behind your computer.

I've also found Mumsnet quite interesting over the past few weeks.

That disabled people are even less considered or thought about in this country than I thought.

That I am more resilient than I thought.

That £45 of shopping can be bloody heavy.

That I do not need to wear underwired bras.

That I enjoy eating with my family and don't want to go back to working late then eating on my own.

That I want to hug my mum.

That I live literally minutes away from great places to walk (so why haven't I before?).

To never take the simple things for granted again.
To travel whenever and wherever I can.
That after a lot of time to reflect, I shouldn’t necessarily be afraid of change - sometimes carrying on as things are can be just as scary.

That it’s ok to be at home all day with two young DCs
I can be a good parent in the house as well as out
That DP does more around the house if he’s at home - I though we’d both be working at home and I’d just end up doing all the kids and house stuff and I was wrong, he does his fair share!
I miss my best friend
No time like the present.
I miss London. Like really miss it. (I commute and I miss the hubbub)
The two friends I thought were a bit silly but turned a blind eye to and just laughed along with their Brexit/Daily Mail ideas really are selfish and stupid.
Anxiety can hit anyone.
The world is fragile.

Realised that paying out thousands of pounds for an office really wasn't needed. Now have a home office in the garden and WFH and it's much cheaper.

Realised we probably only need one car as a result, again cheaper.

That our extended family is greatly missed but we've all made an effort to do zoom and FaceTime calls and it's been lovely to see and chat to people. I want to keep this up.

I've discovered I never need set foot inside a supermarket if I choose not to. I'm not sure if I'll return to general grocery shopping in store.

I've also realised how important the little things are, the ice cream on the beach, the trip to the cinema with the children, being able to visit hairdressers with my daughter. All the things we took for granted a year ago.