Close family member has ‘moved in’ to my rented room without asking - AIBU to be annoyed?

[Frustratedflatmate]

A very close family member and I both live as lodgers in the same house (we each have separate bedrooms, and our live-in landlord has her own bedroom).

Between lockdowns last year, I moved back to live with my parents. However, I’m still paying rent for my room at the LL’s house, and intend to move back to the LL’s house as soon as I can after this lockdown.

A couple of days ago, close family member informed me he had now moved into my room and was living there as it was a ‘change of scenery’ (he’s unofficially moved in - it’s not a permanent arrangement or anything).

This has really annoyed me, as I see it as an invasion of my private space, so I think it’s really unfair that he’s done it without even asking me first.

Both the close family member and I pay a lot as lodgers and each of us have lovely rooms. We are also very lucky that the LL’s house is spacious, so the LL has lots of living space, as do we.

I asked close family member to move out of my room but obviously I’m not going to know if he has or not whilst I’m not there.

At a bit of a loss about what to do. AIBU and any ideas about how I should approach this please?

I dont understand why you are not living in the place you are paying rent on? @Frustratedflatmate

Gvnt advice

Common question
Can I move home during the COVID-19 lockdown?

You can still move home. People outside your household or support bubble should not help with moving house unless absolutely necessary.

[quote TatianaBis]@AnnaMagdalena

OP is evidently a nice person who doesn't care for confrontation. I hate it, and I would go out of my way to avoid it.

Nice has got nothing to do with it, you can be nice and firm at the same time.

Sometimes confrontation is necessary and it is a character weakness not to be able to deal with it.[/quote]
Yes, I agree (and it is probably my particular weakness).

However, I was thinking about this thread again while walking earlier.

I wonder if all these wretched lockdowns have done weird things to people's ideas of how to behave around one another.

IRL, most people just don't tell people to get the fuck out of their room, or storm in putting locks on their LL's internal doors, or "kick people out". It just feels at the moment, especially on here, that there's a general reduction in the 'give and take' and understanding that most people would normally show to one another if they were face to face. I think being so screen-bound has made people more inclined to be belligerent and 'fuck you'ish.

Though that's a different matter from the OP and the cuckoo in her nest.

Thanks all for your responses and suggestions.

.....and ?

@Frustratedflatmate

Thanks all for your responses and suggestions.

@Frustratedflatmate so are you moving back

Why pay rent and live elsewhere

I’ve spoken to family member and will be moving back soon

Do people think that saying what relation people are will be outing? Is that why we get the irritating 'family member'?

Well done 👏 👏

OP do you want to resolve this, really? Only you seem to have an "I Can't" problem for every offered solution.

Put your big girl pants on, message him that you are paying for the room and can he move out. Give it a week, if no response tell the Landlord you can't pay for a room you're not occupying and can she sort situation out.

That's what Landlords do, manage property or have someone manage it for them.

& Get a lock on your room door. I don't understand why you didn't have that in the 1st place for privacy, if someone can just come in and out of your room.

Go back to the house you’re “paying a lot of rent for” and tell your creepy brother to get the fuck out of your bed.

YANBU. What a cheek. Has the LL not noticed? Must be a big house? If you move back, are you sure this family member will move out? what does the other family member in the house think?

None of this makes any sense.

A. Why pay expensive rent when you don't live there?

B. What are the chances of you and 'family member' randomly renting rooms in the same house?

C. Why can't you just say 'brother' or whatever?

D. Do you live in Royston Vasey?