to think that the effect on children's mental health is exaggerated?

[SmudgeButt]

Look I have no doubt that lots of kids are missing their friends, school, grandparents. And all of these things will effect their development and mental health. But is it really that bad a situation compared to other things in the past?? Or is it just that we talk about it a whole nauseatingly more?

I'm thinking that the current situation isn't a patch on the effect of living in a country that's at war - thinking back to WW2 and the effect of being suddenly shipped off to strangers in the countryside or even to a different country. Thinking of those children in Europe who suddenly had to fend for themselves in Jewish ghettos or concentration camps.

People that survived (yes a lot didn't as they were murdered) no doubt had lifetime impacts but so many of their children say "dad was always cheerful, never talked about what happened".

AIBU to think that in a few years kids of today will say "wow, that was weird and I'm glad it's over, now let's get one with life" ?

All the posters agreeing with original post.. Would you like to come live my life... With my seriously relapsing anorexic dsd.
Who due to anxiety and confusion over exams, loss of school, isolation etc has stopped eating again.
Her ED team is so swamped we get 15 mind a week
I have had to take leave from work as I am on 24/7 suicide watch and supervision with her, I have to sleep on the floor of her room, go to loo with her, try to distract her in between meals, prep and serve and try to get her to eat six times a day.
This has devastated all of us.
So NO its not fxxking exaggerated and its not so easy to just tell them kindly that sometimes life is hard..

@TheKeatingFive

Is playing Fortnite with his mates to his heart's delight.

I’d love to hear a child psychologists view on the impact on kids MH of playing fortnite all day for months on end.

I'm also not overly convinced that much of what we learn at school really benefits us in the average office job tbh.

There is the small, niggling matter of entry level qualifications,

1. Don't know what Fortnite is, but child psychologists only know what they've been taught at uni' and what they've read in books, Half of them don't even have kids. I won't invest my belief system in someone else's apparent expertise with evidence of said expertise. Employment by the NHS does not make someone capable let alone an expert.

1. Given that you can sit entrance exams for some Uni's and there is a plethora of 1yr foundation courses available for others, I'd say missing out is a non-issue, any more than not having had their education interrupted has given the current generation a boost to their employment prospects.

Don't know what Fortnite is

🤣🤣🤣

Extremely qualified to comment then. Much more so than the professionals. I couldn’t agree more.

@Theredjellybean, your SD seems to fall under the category of children with a diagnosed mental health issue that does require professional help.

Those are not the children this thread relates to.

@TreesAndStuff, thanks.

Why are children taught to be so invested in school? There seems to be an issue that some kids identities and value systems are tied to the existence of their life at school, not just their friendship groups.

And if this investment in school is a value system imposed upon them by the education system and their parents (you must do well, you are only as good as your grades, strive to be better, you do want to please me, don't you?), surely instilling that sort of value system in children is wrong?

Does piling that sort of pressure on your kids make them any more likely to be happy or successful in life? I don't believe in piling stressors onto kids, and I have no need to live vicariously through them, so they will get not pressure from me. I'll be content if they are happy, enthusiastic and intelligent people, regardless of what bits of paper academia decide to bestow upon them. I know the value of those bits of paper first hand, and I think my kids will do just fine without them if they end up without them.

@thecatfromjapan Well, given that the reports in media I've seen have quoted statistics from reputable sources, no. That's interesting, on TV the reports I've seen always seem to just refer to children or young people as if it is everyone, just from this thread we can see it certainly isn't all children.

Don't know what Fortnite is, but child psychologists only know what they've been taught at uni' and what they've read in books, Half of them don't even have kids. I won't invest my belief system in someone else's apparent expertise with evidence of said expertise. Employment by the NHS does not make someone capable let alone an expert.

Please stop. I am embarrassed for you. I can't even bring myself to quote the glorious second paragraph. Please stop. Books are good. Practical medical experience is good. Staying abreast of research in peer-reviewed journals is good. You do not know that 50% of child psychologists don't have children and even if that were true, it still wouldn't mean they can't be good at what they do, it's a different role to parenting. It would take ten seconds to Google what Fortnite is. "I won't invest my belief system in someone else's apparent expertise with evidence of said expertise" is literally you stating your intention to remain ignorant even when someone can actually prove that they know more than you do.

Please stop, I beg you.

Really, ancientgran? Are you sure you haven't missed the introductory paragraph of such news items, where they preface with something like 'NSPCC have reported a 16% increase to their helplines ... Childline reports a 37% increase in calls from children aged 11 and under ... etc.'

Media don't pick the issues out of the air. While the interpretation/analysis can vary, the story itself will usually be data-led.

IDontMind...
The U.K. death toll for WW 1 was 700,000.

@TheKeatingFive

Don't know what Fortnite is

🤣🤣🤣

Extremely qualified to comment then. Much more so than the professionals. I couldn’t agree more.

Lol. You don't need to know one computer game from another, nor does knowing one computer game from another make you a professional, not even a professional reporter for PCGamer. I read a article about 'professional' child psychologists who have colluded in making a television program for 4yo's about a man with a twelve foot willy, who's willy gets up to 'all sorts of naughty things' and its meant to teach young boys that they need to take responsibility for and control their willies, and to teach girls than boys willies can be naughty. I'd say, barring the exceptional at the top of the fields, child psychology is one of those careers where the incompetent run and hide and try to mimic what others do by reading and applying what they have been taught. I'm not saying they are not needed when you're a parent who cannot cope, but they are in no way exceptional or a panacea to the problem of MH, just as doctors are to obesity.

@TheKeatingFive

Do you think it would be fair to say the effect on individual children is not exaggerated but the media exaggerate how many children are affected?

What are you basing this position on though?

Have you seen independent data to contradict her position.

I was asking a question, the question mark was a clue.

Contradict what position? The question "to think that the effect on children's mental health is exaggerated?* could be read either way, when the media generalise about children are they actually talking about 10% or 100% of children, if you talk about it being exaggerated are we saying it has been affected in any way (some people on here are saying their children's mental health seems to have improved) or are we saying it has been significantly adversely affected.

I think a more focused question would yield more information. If the question is ,"to think that the significant negative effect on children's mental health is exaggerated?" then it would be irrelevant for people to say my children are loving it, or some children hate school or whatever which has clearly upset some people whose children are struggling.

I'm not sure what you think my "position" is but I suppose you could sum it up as I don't think all children have experienced a negative effect on their mental health but I don't think the negative effect for some children has been exaggerated.

It is laughable that people role out the tropes that they get fed from their TV. You know that that is the point of the TV, don't you? To tell you what is important, to tell you what intelligent people should be talking about, and to present you what the 'facts' and how they are to be viewed? It is so heartening to see that so many are doing their bid.

@ancientgran - In all likelihood this is a seeded thread upon which a journalist is building their 'opinion piece'. The intent to to create an adversarial environment and gather watch words and catchphrases. It works well and saves on a lot of research.

[quote dontdisturbmenow]@Theredjellybean, your SD seems to fall under the category of children with a diagnosed mental health issue that does require professional help.

Those are not the children this thread relates to.[/quote]
I'm not so sure about that.

Isn't the whole point that, due to the pandemic, more and more children are being diagnosed with a mental health issue that does require professional help?

And that ongoing the knock on effects will be that more and more children will fall into this category?

Like mine.

NSPCC have reported a 16% increase to their helplines ... Childline reports a 37% increase in calls from children aged 11 and under ... etc
So how do we interpret this.

Some, as clearly many here, will view this as a tragedy, a sign that kids are in my h mental pain, that Covid is having a disastrous effect in kids who can't speak to their parents about it and that will.lead them to bring damaged for the rest of their lives.

Or you can interpret this to believing that kids are facing some unprecedented times and having to cope with change. That them calling a helpline means that they feel more confident talking about their feelings rather than keeping it all inside. That they are more resourseful in accessing outside help and that nspcc are doing well targeting their cause to the right people. That it's good that kids have a place to contact to get support and reassurance.

Sadly the media and it's making money out of sensationalism has polluted people in automatically interpreting the worse of any information they read.

My formally very happy, bright, outgoing, funny, active 13 year old is currently crying in their room at the thought of another day (never mind weeks) in front of the screen. The school are doing very well at keeping the momentum going with learning and do keep checking in on their mental well-being but it's definitely taking its toll.

Isn't the whole point that, due to the pandemic, more and more children are being diagnosed with a mental health issue that does require professional help?
But that's the point, a diagnosis doesn't automatically mean a need for professional treatment.

Many diagnosis are made by GPs. GPs are not mental health experts. They go by what the patient tells them of their experience and a basic written questionnaire, all this resulting in a diagnosis within 10 minutes.

Similarly to a diagnosis of constipation, many patients will just require advice on eating more fiber, only a few will require further investigation and treatment. Constipation in itself doesn't mean the patient is ill. Not so different with anxiety and depression.

My formally very happy, bright, outgoing, funny, active 13 year old is currently crying in their room at the thought of another day (never mind weeks) in front of the screen
And it's not nice to see our kids upset, but that alone is a far cry to calling it mental health issues.

Many people cry every Monday morning and are stressed Sunday evenings at the prospect of going to work in the morning. It's part of life and something to be accepted until something can be done about it to make the situation better.

‘ @ancientgran - In all likelihood this is a seeded thread upon which a journalist is building their 'opinion piece'. The intent to to create an adversarial environment and gather watch words and catchphrases. It works well and saves on a lot of research.’

@ElliFAntspoo I think you may be right. A lot of ‘journalists’ create their own stories this way e.g generating Twitter ‘storms’ originating from a handful of complaints which are amplified creating a ‘storm’ or a ‘gate’.

Or you can interpret this to believing that kids are facing some unprecedented times and having to cope with change. That them calling a helpline means that they feel more confident talking about their feelings rather than keeping it all inside. That they are more resourseful in accessing outside help and that nspcc are doing well targeting their cause to the right people. That it's good that kids have a place to contact to get support and reassurance.
We have no way on knowing without knowing the intent and content of those calls, unless those agencies are capable and willing to divulge information.

Sadly the media and it's making money out of sensationalism has polluted people in automatically interpreting the worse of any information they read.
Of course they are, but they only do that because that is what their readers want them to do. They appeal to the lowest people in society and feed them what they want to be fed, and they trust that their readers have neither the ability nor inclination to do anything other than believe what is being fed to them. It's not just our papers, its in all the popular magazines too. I can't understand someone who reads the Mail or the Mirror or the Guardian and uses that as the basis for their perception of the world. It's a diet of crap, and it makes the brain slow full of useless fat, the same way a sugar diet makes you obese.

@dontdisturbmenow
That's very true and you are right it's not a mental health 'issue' but this is very new behaviour for my child and just to illustrate that the situation is having an affect on even the most happy-go-lucky.

I have another child with autism and associated mental health issues so I'm well aware of the difference between that and being 'upset', thanks.

I also know that when and if a child gets to crisis point the help that is available is pretty non-existent and I can't imagine that will improve any time soon.

Ii think that's the crux of the issue, Krook - years of underfunding means there is very little support now.
The system was already stretched and certainly doesn't have the bandwidth to cope with this additional stress.

@TeenPlusTwenties

In all the other situations, children could still play with their friends.

Some children will bounce back fine.

My teen DD is a shadow of her former self.

I'm sorry but this is simply not true. In some other adverse situations throughout history, yes, childten could play with friends. Children in slavery or concentration camps, however, could not. They were working and dying alongside adults, often separated from their family.

By all means acknowledge the negative impact of COVID, but let's not minimise the scale of the suffering caused by some of the darkest episodes of history by pretending that children in those situations were having fun.

And as for the OP, I'm staggered that she seems to think that someone being outwardly cheerful and not talking about their childhood means they can't have been very traumatised.