to think that the effect on children's mental health is exaggerated?

[SmudgeButt]

Look I have no doubt that lots of kids are missing their friends, school, grandparents. And all of these things will effect their development and mental health. But is it really that bad a situation compared to other things in the past?? Or is it just that we talk about it a whole nauseatingly more?

I'm thinking that the current situation isn't a patch on the effect of living in a country that's at war - thinking back to WW2 and the effect of being suddenly shipped off to strangers in the countryside or even to a different country. Thinking of those children in Europe who suddenly had to fend for themselves in Jewish ghettos or concentration camps.

People that survived (yes a lot didn't as they were murdered) no doubt had lifetime impacts but so many of their children say "dad was always cheerful, never talked about what happened".

AIBU to think that in a few years kids of today will say "wow, that was weird and I'm glad it's over, now let's get one with life" ?

@Silenceisgolden20

God i hate the term the 'real world'.

It's patronising. The world is the world. Peoples reality is different to each person and their experiences.

And if you are looking for advice you certainly don't come on this thread.

Assuming this is aimed at me...I didn't ask for advice.

I came on with a different view in some areas to learn about this one .

Is that OK with you? I ask as it appears I've not to come on this thread unless I fit requirements.

@Silenceisgolden20

God i hate the term the 'real world'.

It's patronising. The world is the world. Peoples reality is different to each person and their experiences.

And if you are looking for advice you certainly don't come on this thread.

Ooh ignore me silence. I thought I was on the other thread 🤣🤣

Yes it's aimed at you if you used the term the 'real world '

@ElliFAntspoo mental health has been severely underfunded for years in the nhs. That isn't going to get better in the short term, I think it will get much worse.

I don't see that.
I think 'the real world' is the actual world around us and how it operates.
I think many, myself included, believe the world is different to the way it actually is, and only find out that 'the real world' isn't the same as our perception of the world when we actually step outside of our own experiences of it and are confronted with reality.
If someone finds themselves triggered by the phrase 'the real world' and feel that it in some way diminishes their experience in life, then that is clearly not what is meant. But at the same time, people should realise that what is inside their own head and their own perception of the world around them may not be the only way at looking at things and there may be more positive and more practical ways at looking at things.

Discussion of MH issues in children really is a dinner bell for the utter cunts, isn't it?

Yes it is, and I don’t understand why. It seems to bring out the worst in people far more than any discussion of adult mental health. My personal theory is that it’s triggering for some people.

[quote tigger1001]@ElliFAntspoo mental health has been severely underfunded for years in the nhs. That isn't going to get better in the short term, I think it will get much worse.[/quote]
I agree, and I don't see it changing now that they have a new pet project to focus their overspend on. It is a matter of priorities and the people within the NHS who prioritise do so either for undisclosed reasons or in the best interests of the population as a whole.

I cannot speculate as to any undisclosed reasons, but if they acting in the best interests of the population as a whole, and I were to fall outwith the bell curve of what most requires funding, I for one would be content with that.

One does have to wonder though why the NHS spends money on 'woke' interest, quarter million pound salaries, and defending malpractice lawsuits instead of putting that money towards patient care.

Believe me though, whether you think it is underfunded or not, this is one of the only countries in the world where you could afford ongoing MH care without a six figure salary. I for one am glad we have what we have.

Do you think it would be fair to say the effect on individual children is not exaggerated but the media exaggerate how many children are affected?

@ElliFAntspoo oh I am very glad we have it. However it doesn't mean it's not funded properly. Mental health services in particular seem to be poorly funded. Imagine being in a mental health crisis but being told that it will be over a year before you can access help. We can be grateful for what we have and also appreciate it's not funded correctly. We shouldn't be saying be grateful you are not living else where as you couldn't afford help. That's not helpful to these who can't access the help they need.

I live near a bridge, and it's incredibly sad to see how often there are suicide attempts on there. Sadly not all attempts either. There has also been a few deaths locally on the railway tracks. And it's only been a couple of weeks since a teenager was found a few miles away, after taking his own life.

The lack of empathy shown on social media when the bridge is closed is scary. Lots of people only care that their journey was delayed. Not to worry about the person who has been driven to such lengths as to consider ending their lives. The "be kind" and "it's ok not to be ok" seem to be just hashtags for social media rather than how people want to live. It's really sad. There are a number of examples on this thread too. People just saying "be positive" etc just shows they don't understand mental health.

@ancientgran

Do you think it would be fair to say the effect on individual children is not exaggerated but the media exaggerate how many children are affected?

Well, given that the reports in media I've seen have quoted statistics from reputable sources, no.

I haven't read any other posts as I was so upset at the thread title I felt compelled to give my opinion.
Maybe you're a troll, just ignorant or a journalist I've no idea but I will share my interpretation of it.
I have a ds aged 10 at the 1st lockdown last year when most of the damage was done. He was the most happy, enthusiastic, sociable child ever. I watched him week by week deteriorate. He was initially obsessed with his school work and visibly panicked. I ordered him equivalent school books from ebay. He did work for about a week then it turned into daily meltdowns. He would literally sob and shout and bang about. He couldn't cope with the online learning. He was so withdrawn and miserable. School said they couldn't offer him a place as I worked from home. After weeks of struggling we stopped. He was then yr 5 and it was not worth the battle. He is fortunately clever and eventually went back to school last September in yr 6. He was distressed at first but then fine. After that all the increase in covid etc he would worryingly ask me can I still go to school? Obviously that was no from this year. Thankfully this time he is coping a bit better but I've no doubt it effects him massively. He has had the last 2 years of Primary school fucked and don't get me started on my 16yr old dd who was in yr 11 last year. She has had her education destroyed and tried to do online college in yr12 but not able to cope either. It's been so tough for both my children (and of course thousands of others) Yes I'm very grateful we're all alive and well but they will never get those years back and it's hard to deal with.

@ancientgran

Do you think it would be fair to say the effect on individual children is not exaggerated but the media exaggerate how many children are affected?

No, I don't.

It’s not as bad as being in an extermination camp but neither is almost any imaginable experience.

Kids are having a really tough time, yes.

Mine are happy. I have never seen this side of their personality before. They both have a good sense of humour but since this lockdown they are always singing dancing making jokes.

“Yes, we mustn't compare traumas but children being made to stay at home safely with their families and not go out and play with their friends wouldn't normally be classed as traumatic.”

I mean, it’s not something that really happens in any other circumstance is it - entirely depriving children of irl peer contact for months on end. I find the idea that we wouldn’t consider it a hardship in another context very dubious.

My godson is loving it! Is playing Fortnite with his mates to his heart's delight.

I'm also not overly convinced that much of what we learn at school really benefits us in the average office job tbh. Maybe with scientific subjects but no so much as an account manager etc.

Do you think it would be fair to say the effect on individual children is not exaggerated but the media exaggerate how many children are affected?

What are you basing this position on though?

Have you seen independent data to contradict her position.

This position

Is playing Fortnite with his mates to his heart's delight.

I’d love to hear a child psychologists view on the impact on kids MH of playing fortnite all day for months on end.

I'm also not overly convinced that much of what we learn at school really benefits us in the average office job tbh.

There is the small, niggling matter of entry level qualifications,

"I'm also not overly convinced that much of what we learn at school really benefits us in the average office job tbh."

There is the small, niggling matter of entry level qualifications,

Yes, but the fact that we impose blanket requirements doesn't actually mean that a degree in sociology is going to make you a better account manager.

I used to interview account managers for a large facilities management provider. The best by far tended to be the non graduates who had been facilities managers themselves, not the ones who had irrelevant degrees. They actually understood the process of running a large site and had done the same job as the people they were selling to.

ARE people really keeping their kids isolated though? Not saying it’s right but all the teens I know are discreetly seeing friends (trying to be sensible but still seeing them) not to mention being glued to thier phones chatting all day. The playgrounds are full of little kids playing together. I feel like if your kids are really seeing NO ONE then they are in the minority? Again, not saying it’s right for the virus but it does seem like many are being flexible with the rules when it comes to kids for sure.

Yes, but the fact that we impose blanket requirements doesn't actually mean that a degree in sociology is going to make you a better account manager.

I don’t necessarily disagree, but it’s not particularly relevant to this thread. People need entry level qualifications for jobs like this, whether they help them do the job better or not.

The issue is not whether young people suffer from MH issues or not, it's the way we nowadays pathologies every emotions that are not pleasant as if normality is to be happy, cheerful and stressfree all the time. It's building a sense of the world that is untainable and therefore justifies the vicious circle.

I dare to think what I would have been diagnosed as a kid. I had a very difficult family and living set up and struggled quite a bit emotionally. It wasn't mental.heakth issues, it was navigating through hard times and finding my place within my environment. Doing so made me stronger and ultimayely I recovered without drug, self pity or extra attention.

It is normal for kids to go through difficult emotions. My eldest son really struggled when he turned 10 and hormones overtook him. Anger, angst, sadness, anxiety got to him. We went through it with some understanding, some discipline and mainly passing time doing its bit. He is absolutely fine now as a young adult.

We need to stop, as adults, acting as if our kids should be feeling happy all the time. It's this quest as parents that leads our kids to really struggle when they get older and still think that something is wrong with them if they are not always contented.

This in no way is undermining children mental health, on the opposite. Some kids do need professional help. Self harming in anyway needs special attention as is complete withdrawal from anything, even pleasurable behaviours that goes on.

Sadly attention is taken away from them because if the dramatisation of unpleasant yet normal feelings and behaviours.

@dontdisturbmenow

The issue is not whether young people suffer from MH issues or not, it's the way we nowadays pathologies every emotions that are not pleasant as if normality is to be happy, cheerful and stressfree all the time. It's building a sense of the world that is untainable and therefore justifies the vicious circle.

I dare to think what I would have been diagnosed as a kid. I had a very difficult family and living set up and struggled quite a bit emotionally. It wasn't mental.heakth issues, it was navigating through hard times and finding my place within my environment. Doing so made me stronger and ultimayely I recovered without drug, self pity or extra attention.

It is normal for kids to go through difficult emotions. My eldest son really struggled when he turned 10 and hormones overtook him. Anger, angst, sadness, anxiety got to him. We went through it with some understanding, some discipline and mainly passing time doing its bit. He is absolutely fine now as a young adult.

We need to stop, as adults, acting as if our kids should be feeling happy all the time. It's this quest as parents that leads our kids to really struggle when they get older and still think that something is wrong with them if they are not always contented.

This in no way is undermining children mental health, on the opposite. Some kids do need professional help. Self harming in anyway needs special attention as is complete withdrawal from anything, even pleasurable behaviours that goes on.

Sadly attention is taken away from them because if the dramatisation of unpleasant yet normal feelings and behaviours.

This is exactly what I have tried, and failed, to say upthread. Agree with the post entirely.