Best CF stories part 2

[HepLaurenceLB]

First thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3905995-Best-CF-Stories

I used to do some tutoring when I was on maternity leave. At the time we were much less comfortably off than we are now and we did actually need the money. I did it one day a week because that way we still had one weekend day altogether as a family. Since I teach an in demand subject which I'm well qualified in I was always fuly booked with a waiting list - I never had to advertise as I went entirely on personal recommendations.

A few times I helped a friend of a friend's child for free as she could never have afforded a tutor and her son was hard working but just needed a bit of extra help. The mum was always very grateful and although she didn't pay she wrote me a lovely card from her and her son and always sent me home with home baked cookies or other goodies.

Another friend kept hinting she wanted me to teach her son as he was 'struggling' in this subject. I was happy to help him out on an adhoc basis if I was there anyway or via email but she kept insisting I just bump one of my paying clients for him or come round for a two hour slot on a Saturday (I only worked Sunday and was very strict as there were always people wanting just one lesson on a Saturday which was our one free day as a family).

If I declined she'd want to know why I couldn't come and what I was doing instead (since we had a small baby often all we were doing was going for a walk in park or hanging out with family). She was much better off than we were at the time (their family had two luxury cars at the time we didn't even own a car and I'd have had to pay £6 to get to hers on the train), me giving up a slot for her son would mean losing £60 a week and she could easily have afforded to pay a different tutor to teach him. On the occasions I did help him it was clear he actually didn't particularly need help he was just a bit lazy and having me tutor him was just a way of forcing him to do work for two hours which he was capable of doing alone. She also clearly wanted me to basically do his coursework for him which I don't do for any student paying or otherwise. She also never so much as offered me a cup of tea when I was there and would basically shoo me out the door afterwards as they were always off out somewhere. Never helped her again.

A friend invited us to a birthday ‘do’ along with a bunch of her other friends. It was in a private room in the event place she worked at.
We went, had drinks etc we paid for ourselves all fine. They put on some food, nibbles and stuff nothing fancy.
At the end of the night she said we all needed to pay £40 per head for the food and room! No prior warning! I was on mat leave so money was tight and to have an unexpected £80 bill on top of expensive drinks was a bit of a piss take to be honest!
Was too shocked to say anything and would have been embarrassed in front of her other friends so just paid it. Hoping I wasn’t being the CF in that scenario as I still find it baffling but I’d never hold a party and expect the guest to pay!

When my DS was in nursery, one of the younger girls looked after him, so I saw her at drop off and pick up 3 days a week. She told me snippets about her life, lived with her boyfriend and they clearly struggled for money, she’d say they were hungry on the days before pay day. He did the trolleys at Asda p/t. Then she told me she was pregnant and that the nursery was terminating her employment (she’d not been there long enough for ml). I felt so sorry for her, gave her babysitting work and they invited me & DS to their wedding that was being (paid for &) organised by their local church group. I offered her all DS’s baby stuff, pram & stroller, cot, Moses basket, baby bjorn, bath, toys, you name it, excellent condition top-notch stuff that I’d planned to sell. I even gave her bags full of my maternity clothes and DS’s baby clothes. You could hardly move in their lounge when I dropped it all off. At the wedding, obviously the church group had made them their cause, and it was apparent that a lot was being done for them. I distinctly remember her saying that they’d been taking them food parcels after she’d mentioned to one of the church group, that the only food they had in was a tin of tomatoes and just 35p between them. About a week after the wedding, she called to say she needed my advice... did I know the best place to ‘hide’ money because she’d got £23k savings and the tax credit people had said savings over £7k would affect their claims! I felt like such a mug. I was also baffled as to why anyone with that amount of savings would accept charity and also go hungry! All that stuff I gave her! What a CF.

@mummypie17

My mum had a friend who asked if I could take her daughter to an event and look after her for a few hours and she would give me £20. I was a teenager and wanted to earn some pocket money so I agreed to do it. Turned out the £20 was for her daughter's lunch and shopping and wasn't payment for me. I was nearly out of pocket as her daughter wanted to buy some pricey things (but I would have asked for the money back if I ended up going into my own pocket). My mum stopped being friends with this lady not long afterwards as she did it to my mum as well.

That’s reminded me of a woman who did similar to my DD1.

DD started babysitting at 13. By 16 she had a list of regular babysitting jobs. A friend of DD’s bestie’s Mum asked her if she could take her two kids to their swimming lesson on a Saturday for three months. DD didn’t usually do babysitting during the day on a Saturday as she had a regular Sunday gig so it was her day for hanging out, but she was saving for something so agreed. The woman said she’d give DD £30 for “lunch and fares” which DD, naively, assumed was £10 for her lunch and fares on top of her £5 per hour charge (which would be £20). First week they get to the bus stop and DD discovers the kids don’t have bus passes or cash so she has to spend £9 on bus fares for all three of them. When they got back the woman ripped shreds off DD for not getting the kids any lunch before bringing them back. She expected DD to spend £20 of the £30 on fares and lunch and was only willing to pay for 2 hours of DD’s time - the time it took to get there and back. Apparently the time by the pool was “her own to do what she liked”- she couldn’t leave poolside though - so she was greedy to expect to be paid for it.

Oh I have one cf friend got married, hired the whole hotel which was only 20 minutes away from where the majority of us lived. We were lucky we were one of the ones she wasnt pissed off with not staying as ds2 was only a baby and I wasnt 100% sure I could leave him overnight at that point.
Got married at 11am so we had had the wedding breakfast early and had couple of hours to ourselves. Come evening time we were all starving and they bring out a sweet cart. That was it for evening meal.
Never been so glad to get a phone call saying ds2 had explosive nappy and we need to come home. Went home via macdonalds. Iirc other guests were nipping to the local chippy.
Wouldn't of minded the sweet cart if we had been warned that would be it for food as we would of used those couple of hours to grab a sandwich.

Came out of my flat one sunny day to find my upstairs neighbour and her friends all sitting on blankets in my garden enjoying the sun.
Same neighbour who just left a washing machine in my garden.
🤦🏼‍♀️ She knew it was my garden, didn't occur to her to ask first🤷‍♀️

We all want to know now the wedding story...

Probably not the worst...
So we used to get the train to work a few days a week depending on mine and DHs work schedules as we shared a car. They changed the timetable slightly though so it was a huge rush for me for me to drop DD off and catch the train. Using childminder was difficult because it wasn’t regular days.
DDs friend from school mum offers to take her. So I would drop at hers, DD would wait in her hall for 5 minutes and they would walk to school. Often it might only be once a week or not at all.
I was really grateful and her DD would come to mine at least one night a week and I would feed her (and mum was always difficult about her going home so often very late). I also took her for regular full days out to theme parks etc and never took a penny.
However the mum complained to mutual friend about how put out she was and basically said I should be paying her like a childminder at least £10 a time.
Luckily I had got a car and said thank you but I wouldn’t need her help anymore and got her a present.
her DD still would come to mine (my DD was never invited to hers) but I did stop the days out as they never said thanks and the mum would be difficult about her DD going home.
She complained to mutual friend that I wasn’t taking her out anymore and how unfair it was as she really loved all her free days.

I'm a childminder and a few years ago I had a single mum come round to see me about care for her 4 children. Once she'd told me the hours etc I worked out that I didn't have spaces on 2 of the 4 days that she wanted care for. We hadn't exchanged contracts,I had no records for the children whatsoever, no telephone numbers for emergencies,I hadn't taken any money or told her that I could do it. The only contact number I had for her was her work email. So I emailed her,explaining that I couldn't do it and why and left it at that. She never got back to me.
The following Monday, as I dropped another child off, the teacher said ''oh Hi loose, I understand that you're collecting CFs children tonight"
Erm....no! Explained what had happened to the teacher ( she's known me for years) who was gobsmacked at the cheek of the Mum and she said she would ring her as I had no contact number for her at all.
Turns out, Mum had fucked off on a plane to Spain at 5.00 that morning for a girlie holiday and told the kids and school that I was picking them up! School ended up contacting their Dad to collect them who then had to drive nearly 200 miles from where he was working away to pick them up at 3.30!
Saw her several times at school after that and she never spoke to me again!

Turns out, Mum had fucked off on a plane to Spain at 5.00 that morning for a girlie holiday and told the kids and school that I was picking them up!

But where did she expect the kids to go while she was away??
CMs only have kids for a few hours here and there, and with their dad being 200 miles away ... ??

A year or two ago, I was at hospital having an eye clinic appointment. After the appointment me n my hubby and our son called at the on site cafe it's just a little place with a few small round tables. We'd already had a coffee and hubby has gone back to counter to get some food and son had followed to make sure his dad who is deaf was understood. I was sat at a table in my wheelchair. The table was one big enough for 3-4 people. There was one of them really high seats nearby not appropriate for a wheelchair and only one seat. When a man came in with his wife and looked around realisesld there was no tables. He then promptly grabs my wheelchair as if I was just an inconvenience sighed and tried to wheel me across to the one seat. Telling me "I'll just move you over here, because there's two of us and your taking up a bit of room" I literally had to grab my wheels and slam brakes on and shout "excuse me". He seemed quite put out that I hadn't just obiendently moved. My DS7 heard the noise and turned and berated him telling him "What do you think you are doing, you don't just move someone in a wheelchair because you want a seat, she's a human being" and honestly he really peed me off because he seemed more put out that A) I hadn't moved when he'd tried too move me, and B) when he raised his issue with the girl serving she told him that she could quite happily call security but that frankly what he did could be considered a safeguarding risk at the least at worst assault.
I mean I was so horrified that he actually thought he had the his given right to just wheel me out the way and I wouldn't complain. He stormed off muttering onscienties at everyone, us, the staff, security who weren't even there the pure audacity of some people is unbelievable.

@Brockaslass

A year or two ago, I was at hospital having an eye clinic appointment. After the appointment me n my hubby and our son called at the on site cafe it's just a little place with a few small round tables. We'd already had a coffee and hubby has gone back to counter to get some food and son had followed to make sure his dad who is deaf was understood. I was sat at a table in my wheelchair. The table was one big enough for 3-4 people. There was one of them really high seats nearby not appropriate for a wheelchair and only one seat. When a man came in with his wife and looked around realisesld there was no tables. He then promptly grabs my wheelchair as if I was just an inconvenience sighed and tried to wheel me across to the one seat. Telling me "I'll just move you over here, because there's two of us and your taking up a bit of room" I literally had to grab my wheels and slam brakes on and shout "excuse me". He seemed quite put out that I hadn't just obiendently moved. My DS7 heard the noise and turned and berated him telling him "What do you think you are doing, you don't just move someone in a wheelchair because you want a seat, she's a human being" and honestly he really peed me off because he seemed more put out that A) I hadn't moved when he'd tried too move me, and B) when he raised his issue with the girl serving she told him that she could quite happily call security but that frankly what he did could be considered a safeguarding risk at the least at worst assault. I mean I was so horrified that he actually thought he had the his given right to just wheel me out the way and I wouldn't complain. He stormed off muttering onscienties at everyone, us, the staff, security who weren't even there the pure audacity of some people is unbelievable.

How very dare he!!

Years ago my neighbour asked if I'd like a plant he had. I accepted it - a fern - and then he said: "That'll be £17, please." Foolishly, I'd imagined it was free as he clearly didn't want it. Too embarrassed and not assertive enough to say no, I paid up. A few weeks later I discovered tiny insects crawling all over it. Should have returned it to the neighbour but I just threw it out.

"He then promptly grabs my wheelchair as if I was just an inconvenience sighed and tried to wheel me across to the one seat. Telling me "I'll just move you over here, because there's two of us and your taking up a bit of room" I literally had to grab my wheels and slam brakes on and shout "excuse me".

What.The.Fuck.

When I was in my mid 20's I started going out with a guy who was really bad with money. He was around 8 years older than me, but had moved back in with his Dad because he couldn't afford to live in his house. He was in the process of trying to sell it. He would still want to go out for drinks and meals most nights. He couldn't afford it so I would often end up paying. My money was tight as I was in a fairly low paid graduate job and had a mortgage (I lived alone so just me to pay). Anyway he needed to get rid of his sofa and asked if I wanted it. I didn't as I had 2 matching sofas that although they were cheap IKEA ones I liked. I felt a bit sorry for him so agreed to go and take a look. It was the biggest ugliest old sofa I had seen. He turned to me and said I could have it for £250. I was so taken aback. We were supposed to be in a relationship, yet he was actually trying to sell me his old sofa which I doubt a charity shop would have taken. The fact I was always paying for meals and drinks for him also. Being the polite person I was back then I said I think it's too big to fit in my lounge. Like a mug I continued to date him and continued to pay for things. He eventually dumped me soon after his Birthday for which I had bought him an expensive pair of trainers. The last time I saw him was from a distance wearing very tattered clothes. He had obviously run out of people to sponge off. I confess I did feel a bit smug.

I worked for company a while back we had team meeting and had to get into groups. Each group had to design a flag and an advert and the winner would get a prize. No prize came about but my flag design did strangly make it onto the product . Few years later we were asked for recipes that included their product, nope not doing it, sorry.

@Puzzledandpissedoff God only knows! If I'd picked them up, I would have been thinking that she was collecting them from me.I never even had Dad's phone number to contact him, so I would have had to call social services!

Another one from me. SIL is a money obsessed CF who constantly pleads poverty despite owning five horses and having a very well paid job.
Years ago, widowed late MIL had a flood. House uninhabitable for a couple of months. The insurance said they would put her up in a hotel. SIL insisted she stayed with her. We later found out that she had charged her own mother £75 a week "board". MIL paid because she was terrified SIL would stop her seeing the grandchildren.
Same SIL did fuck all to help out when her parents were terminally ill, despite only living five minutes away. Still managed an Oscar winning performance of grief at their funerals. She's a piece of work. She also kicked up a huge fuss when we made our wills and didn't put her as guardian to our DC in the event of our deaths - I wouldn't give her custody of a goldfish! And the tantrum when DH was given lasting power of attorney and not her was staggering. MIL had wised up by then, and actually said she didn't trust her not to clear out every last penny.

Someone tried to cadge a free hotel room off us when we got married as otherwise they’d have to get a taxi or drive home.

It took me years to realise what they’d been hinting at. They hate me too so why I’d pay for a room is anyone’s guess.

My CF story is My secondary school best friend.

From the ages of 16-18 she went to 6th form where as I just got a job in a hotel straight away.

As she had no income for those two years and I was earning money I was naively very kind and paid for all our nights out almost every weekend for those two years (and she let me!) must have spent over £2000 on her at a rough guess.

She then went away to university for 3 years and we lost touch.
I had a child then she became a family law solicitor. Very well paid (new Audi, a flat in the nicest area, etc) meanwhile I was quite poor with a baby and a low paid job (restaurant)

We met back up for the first (and last!!) time aged 23 and went on a reunion night out.
First bar- she bought the first drink.
Then we went to the next bar.
She ordered her drink and said “it’s your turn to buy these” and fucked off to her seat.

I had literally paid for every taxi and every drink when we were younger including lending her all of my going out clothes and even make up.

I just thought it would have been a good time to ‘thank me’ by getting me a few drinks- or actually just even acknowledging it and saying thanks for those years.
I do regret being a kind 16-18 year old and wish I had saved that money.

13 years on from our meet up she’s partner of her firm and has a baby. Still waiting for the thanks.

@stablefeet

I love these stories... but why do people just go along with the CF's? I had a "significant" birthday coming up and planned to go out with the other half. A fairly casual friend of mine from a shared hobby said that the the gang from the hobby group, some I was great friends with, would like to celebrate with me. I wasn't that bothered, said I wouldn't mind going for a nice meal. Had no problem with going out with my partner on another evening. To cut a long and involved story short, I ended up finding myself agreeing to pick her up and drop her home from the meal, because I don't drink. She said it would be a surprise where we were going and when we arrived it was an Indian restaurant - the one cuisine I'd told her I don't like. The gang from the shared hobby - two of them I don't know very well and about 6 or 7 people I'd never met who were obviously her good mates. Did I sit down and pick over a korma? Nope. While she was squealing and jumping about hugging the strangers I turned to one of the people I did know a bit and said "I told her I don't eat Indian food. This isn't a birthday meal for me, but I hope you have a lovely time" and walked out. Down the road, into my car and kept going. Picked up a nice Chinese takeaway on the way home. The really strange thing was that she didn't attempt to contact me and didn't mention it when I next saw her at the hobby. The other two did, they said they'd had no idea it was supposed to be a birthday celebration for me or they would have got me some flowers.

Well done for having more guts than most people on CF threads. It's amazing how many people go along with this sort of thing.

@Iwantacookie

Oh I have one cf friend got married, hired the whole hotel which was only 20 minutes away from where the majority of us lived. We were lucky we were one of the ones she wasnt pissed off with not staying as ds2 was only a baby and I wasnt 100% sure I could leave him overnight at that point. Got married at 11am so we had had the wedding breakfast early and had couple of hours to ourselves. Come evening time we were all starving and they bring out a sweet cart. That was it for evening meal. Never been so glad to get a phone call saying ds2 had explosive nappy and we need to come home. Went home via macdonalds. Iirc other guests were nipping to the local chippy. Wouldn't of minded the sweet cart if we had been warned that would be it for food as we would of used those couple of hours to grab a sandwich.

@Iwantacookie

Totally missing the point but your babysitter (or family member looking after your son) called you home from a wedding to change a nappy!? That is ridiculous!

Oh, and same SIL when MIL had a heart attack, her first words on learning of it were to wail "who's going to look after the kids?" (MIL looked after them three days a week for free). Funnily enough her youngest DC is now nc with her, and her eldest is vlc.

@looselegs

Bloody hell that is absolutely insane. I'm surprised the school didn't contact SS. What on earth did she think you were going to do with the kids overnight? She basically abandoned her kids!

@IMNOTSHOUTING yep, basically just abandoned them! It was crazy,never known anything like it in all my years of childminding!
Best thing was, she owned a children's nursery!!