Best CF stories part 2

[HepLaurenceLB]

First thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3905995-Best-CF-Stories

Puzzled - yes ex was making an effort to mingle with new crowd, so was trying to be open and generous etc. Obviously didn’t twig no good deed goes unpunished.

I have builder story. Next door neighbour was having an extension built. I came home from work one day to find builder's lorry parked across our drive and their hose attached to our outdoor tap, with it left running (judging by amount of water in the road must have been on for a long time). We told the builders not to do this again as we were on a meter but they still continued to park across our drive and block us in, were sweary and aggressive when asked to move to let us out. A few days later, builder knocked on the door to ask if he could plug in his generator so that he could work as our neighbours were out and he couldn't use their electricity, I said no as I wasn't sure how much it might cost us, he then started shouting at me and told me what a bad neighbour I was!

I got a call from an old friend asking if I wanted to pop over for a catch up- that she'd just moved into a new house and wanted me to meet her baby. I happily said yes, we set a time and I turned up with a bottle of bubbly, a cake and a little gift for the baby. Friend opened the door, keys and handbag in hand and a coat on and said 'She's in the living room, she'll need feeding at x time, bottles in the kitchen and a nap after. I'll be back by x.' CF wanted me to look after the baby I'd never met while she went out to the hairdressers. Bearing in mind I hadn't really seen her other than bumping into her in the supermarket since I left school at 15 and in those 6 years I could've become a murderer. (I'm not, but she doesn't know that!) She came back furious that I'd let the baby sleep on me, rather than in the moses basket she had collapsed behind the sofa that I didn't know was there, and blamed me for any future sleep problems the baby had. I didn't even know the baby's name until I spotted a picture frame with her name on it. She phoned me a few months ago asking if because I don't work I'd be willing to look after the baby during the day (for free) and also asking if my tattooist bf would give her a freebie.

These are great.

Just remembered another, though it's more criminality than CFery

A friend asked if I'd ebay some jewellery which belonged to her new squeeze's mother - he'd separated from his exW months before and moved in with his mum. My friend's even worse with I.T. than I am, the aged mum didn't have a computer and the new squeeze had apparently let the ex have his
It all sounded a bit "hmmmm" but okay up to a point, until I saw the jewellery ... clearly that of a much younger woman than his aged mum and clearly nicked when he left. I didn't do it of course, but had I listed the stuff there's every chance I'd have had the police at the door

Shamelessly bookmarking. These have kept me entertained for a week!

Neighbours who didn't work and didn't like to be responsible for themselves. Parents in their 50's and 25 year old daughter, 19 year old son.
Used to knock and ask me about normal things that most people already know and deal with every day like what temperature to cook things, or how to get rid of the ice in Their freezer. I suspect they just wanted me to say I would do it for them. Their son's bedroom curtains were yellow with nicotine so asked if I'd pop round to help. They wanted me to take them down and wash the curtains for them because they didn't have a clue what needed doing and didn't want to wreck them -or so they said-. They called me round another day to clean their oven. They didn't know how to do it they said. Aww I'm just useless at this stuff, they said. I gave them instructions and left them to it. No way was I cleaning 4 grown adults oven.

I have met two career cheeky fuckers.

The first goes on tinder and constantly arranges dates with men for breakfast lunch and dinner seven days a week. Always makes them pay and will hold onto them for as many meals as they will pay for. She had zero shame when two of her dates overlapped as one guy paid the bill and the next arrived to take her out for dessert. She worked out she got hundreds spent on her each week and was very proud. She said her technique was to dress provocatively and make it clear only once at the date that she only has sex on the fourth date. These guys just kept on handing in here before she dropped them. She thought she was the smartest person. Her justification was that she spent money on makeup to look pretty so they need to pay for her meals.

I also worked at a hostel. The second career CF is a girl who rushed into our reception spluttering and crying about how her evil landlord kicked her out with nowhere to go etc. She seemed young and really sweet and I really felt for her. I also had a really nice boss. She kept begging for help and I helped her contact lots of agencies but with no luck. My boss let her have a free night in one of our private rooms and a free breakfast. When she hadn't checked out the next day, my boss sent me up to politely show her the door and she got very angry protesting that a 'receptionist she couldn't remember what they looked like' had told her she could stay there all wee for free.

the night receptionist happened to be my boyfriend who had never see her the whole shift and myself and my boss certainly would never had approved that.

She cried and begged again so we gave her another night. She didn't seem very happy and kept mentioning that since she was promised a free week we had to give it to her. She then asked where her free breakfast was as it 'came with the room'.

My nice boss refused at this point and the girl cried and got very angry about how no-one wants to help her, everyone just uses her, and how mean we are.

The guy on the next shift had hard time kicking her out. Just one week later I saw the same girl get on a bus crying and spluttering to the bus driver how she had no money and needed to visit her dying grandmother.

It was now that I realized this is all a strategy for her. She got very angry and used the same accusations as before when the bus driver wouldn't let her on.

Her crocodile tears worked and a lady paid for her ticket.

Not the craziest story in the world but I'm a dancer and was performing in a big show when I was about 20.
My best friend had organised our set with different dancers and we had had rehearsals for a few weeks.

Night of the show we had all done a run through at the venue and had gotten into our costumes (most of it was bits and pieces we'd all had in our wardrobes) friend had given me a pair of shorts and asked me to wear this specific thing.

Less than an hour before the show best friend was getting flustered and nervous, turned to me in the dressing room and said 'this isnt working for me,give me those shorts I'm going to wear them''
I just stood there for a minute and then said 'no coz then I wont have anything to wear'?!
Friend got annoyed and said 'well I dont care find somthing else'
I kept arguing that I literally had nothing else to wear and did they want me to perform in my underwear or regular street clothes?? Reminded friend it wasn't long before the show, I had no other costume with me and this had been planned for weeks and asked friend ''could you not just wear what you have on, it looks lovely ?''

Friend kept saying they didn't care what I wore and made a show of me in front of everyone demanding I take them off again.
I quietly did..handed them to friend who said thanks.
I Went through my bag for clothes...put them on and walked out of the venue and got the bus home leaving them all one man down.
I was very proud of myself for not being a push over for once

@BloodyDarrener

Neighbours who didn't work and didn't like to be responsible for themselves. Parents in their 50's and 25 year old daughter, 19 year old son. Used to knock and ask me about normal things that most people already know and deal with every day like what temperature to cook things, or how to get rid of the ice in Their freezer. I suspect they just wanted me to say I would do it for them. Their son's bedroom curtains were yellow with nicotine so asked if I'd pop round to help. They wanted me to take them down and wash the curtains for them because they didn't have a clue what needed doing and didn't want to wreck them -or so they said-. They called me round another day to clean their oven. They didn't know how to do it they said. Aww I'm just useless at this stuff, they said. I gave them instructions and left them to it. No way was I cleaning 4 grown adults oven.

This is the weirdest one on here! Why the actual feck are they asking you clean their oven?!

..but absolutely devastated I didn't get to perform!!
😭 it was for the greater good though🤣

A train one - way back years ago, husband and I put the car on the motorrail to the north of Scotland, you got a sleeper overnight in with the price, that particular one it was a compartment in the carriage, and then changed in the morning and had first-class carriage seats onwards, and booked seats
After a night sleeping in the compartment, without proper washing facilities etc I guess we looked a bit unkempt. We had taken a packed lunch, this was a Sunday service in Scotland and who knew if there would be any catering on the train. A little old Scots lady came in and sat opposite us, very disapprovingly giving us evils all the time, obviously, we shouldn't have been in first class, far too tatty, eating a packed lunch etc. The conductor came and we showed them our tickets, no problems. However the very proper old lady only had a second class ticket, not sure why but eventually after admitting that the rest of the train was crowded, allowed her to stay in the first class, she either got off or moved to another carriage at the next stop

Yes @shitinmyhandsandclap they did. A very sad show of not knowing what to do and being "awww I'm too stupid to understand all this stuff" hands in the air. Like they were deferring to me, the grown up who knows what she is doing.

Sorry. I meant to say, "yes it's weird. They did want me to do it I am sure.

I'm pretty good at saying no to CF, I can't stand them.
One night I was out with friends...it was years ago and we all paid into a late night wine bar. For the fee in, you got a bottle of wine. Girlfriend of one of the lads refused to pay in..no matter, we split it between us. When they gave us the wine, she took a glass and filled it for herself. I took it out of her hand and said "you wouldn't pay, so you don't drink". She ran out and cried about how mean I was. Even her own boyfriend was sick of her.
Another time I was in a sort of club. We'd take turns having everyone over...provide meals, drinks etc. One of the guys was just renting a room so never took at turn, but nobody minded. When he moved home (200km) away, he invited us all to travel down for a barbecue. We all said yes...it'd be nice to see his home, - until he sent a group text telling us how much we had to pay for the food!
Nobody was happy, but wouldn't speak up. I rang him, told him he was a cheeky git, that we'd fed him for years and no way was I paying for all that petrol to get there and buy my own dinner! He said "fine, I'll pay for the food", but still thinks I was unreasonable . I stuck to my guns and didn't go. His wedding proved he was a CF too, but that's another story.

@magicstar1

I'm pretty good at saying no to CF, I can't stand them. One night I was out with friends...it was years ago and we all paid into a late night wine bar. For the fee in, you got a bottle of wine. Girlfriend of one of the lads refused to pay in..no matter, we split it between us. When they gave us the wine, she took a glass and filled it for herself. I took it out of her hand and said "you wouldn't pay, so you don't drink". She ran out and cried about how mean I was. Even her own boyfriend was sick of her. Another time I was in a sort of club. We'd take turns having everyone over...provide meals, drinks etc. One of the guys was just renting a room so never took at turn, but nobody minded. When he moved home (200km) away, he invited us all to travel down for a barbecue. We all said yes...it'd be nice to see his home, - until he sent a group text telling us how much we had to pay for the food! Nobody was happy, but wouldn't speak up. I rang him, told him he was a cheeky git, that we'd fed him for years and no way was I paying for all that petrol to get there and buy my own dinner! He said "fine, I'll pay for the food", but still thinks I was unreasonable . I stuck to my guns and didn't go. His wedding proved he was a CF too, but that's another story.

@magicstar1 good for you in the wine bar!!! She was a CF!

Go on spill to CF wedding story!

@Playnoh When they were first planning the wedding they were hiring a castle. The plan was to charge all the guests to stay there and make enough money to cover all their costs . I told them it was a pisstake.

That fell through so instead they had a lovely wedding in a fancy hotel, in the middle of nowhere. They had rooms put aside for guests, but I told DH I didn't trust them to charge correctly so we stayed in a lovely b&b with a very good restaurant which had to be booked months in advance. The day after the wedding was a Saturday, the hotel restaurant was closed on Saturdays and all the guests were having a few drinks in the bar. DH and I went back to the b&b where we had dinner booked and had a gorgeous meal. Came back to the hotel to find all the guests sitting eating crisps in the bar as there was no food available....apart from the bride and groom and their families who were having a special slap up meal downstairs. We couldn't believe they'd left all these people with no food and just didn't care.
We were also right about the accommodation...they hadn't done it properly and half the people who arrived the night before had no rooms allocated and had to bunk in with strangers. Total shitshow!

@magicstar1 so they just left guests with no food at all? Did they not do a wedding breakfast? Or was it more of a cocktail party wedding? So bizarre they didn’t think to provide any sort of food or at least tell people to eat before

SIL and my niece took my Mum to the nail bar to get her nails done. While she was in there, SIL asked her if she wanted any shopping doing.Mum only wanted milk, and only had a £20 note so gave it to SIL to pay with. SIL and DN were gone for ages- Mums nails had been done and she was sat waiting for them to come back. They'd got the milk- then spent the rest if the £20 on 2 great big cooked breakfasts for themselves.
Then SIL had the cheek to ask Mum for petrol money when she dropped her back home.....
Mum never asked her to take her again!

@Playnoh there was a lovely meal and reception after the wedding. This was the next day. Most people were staying a couple of days, but there was no dinner available on the second day. The hotel just didn’t open the restaurant. The wedding party had organised for the kitchen to cook them a big meal only.

It was weird and our b&b landlady said she constantly gets panicked phone calls from hotel guests looking for last minute dinner reservations. She has such good reviews that’s she’s booked up months ahead.
I will admit to feeling very justified at my opinion of the bride and groom after this.

I front CFer's, too, magic. They get away with it because they know people won't say anything or worse, invite them to do it again/entertain it again. Nope. The offering clothes and then, 'So let's say £40?' 'What a pity! I should have asked if you were charging or perhaps it could have been mentioned. No, thanks, I'm not interested in buying after all.' When I used to smoke, the 'social' smoker/cigarette cadgers got one and that's it from me. 'Buy your own pack!' (back when you could buy them in pubs). 'But I don't have the money!' 'Guess you need to find someone else to cadge fags off.'

@Whammyyammy JEEZ.......Your neighbour is THE ultimate CF!

Mine is really tame compared to all the others but it boils down to manners.

Next door neighbour gets a bed man who starts laying slabs without a shovel. Apparently knocks on my door (I'm out) decides to climb over the fence and help himself. I come home and see its gone (before shed purchase) I ask if its my shovel to be told "yeah and I'm still using it" just an arrogant shit really.

*new man not bed man!

I opened the door to find the mother of a girl in DD’s class standing on the step. She told me she was very shocked that her daughter had come second and surely it must be some sort of mistake? Her reason being that her daughter was much more clever than mine so should have come first. She spent a good 15 minutes trying to persuade me to see her point of view, and must have thought she’d got through to me when she finished with, ‘So, do I have your word that you’ll go into school tomorrow and complain about the marks so it can be put right?’ The look on her face when I declined still makes me laugh to this day. Think her head would have exploded if she’d known about the full marks!

Jeeeeesus. I know there's been some mental stories but this has me what the fuck 🤣 I've met braggers in me time but this is a whole different level