Best CF stories part 2

[HepLaurenceLB]

First thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3905995-Best-CF-Stories

@pinkyredrose surely anyone who parks at an angle leaving restricted access to the car they have parked next to automatically qualifies as a dick, never mind a CF?

surely anyone who parks at an angle leaving restricted access to the car they have parked next to automatically qualifies as a dick, never mind a CF?

Well yes but the OP telling them to fuck off because she thinks they should have looked for and noticed a baby on board sign is also rather CF territory.

@pinkyredrose granted telling anyone to fuck off is far from the moral high ground.

When I was 17 my friend asked me if I'd cover for her sister at the cafe they worked at. It was, they said, just tips and no actual pay, but as it was in a very special place (think historic national trust type place but privately run) I said I'd help them out. Anyway I did it in the end for several weeks, earned very little but happy to be working in such a lovely place, though it was hard work. Years later we were chatting about it and I said what CF they were at that place asking us to work for tips. Friend said, 'what do you mean, they paid us!' It turned out that friend's sister got paid for the shifts I worked. I had been taken for a mug and my friend, her sister and I think her parents all knew about it. I know it was a long time ago but I'm really sore when I think about it still! I'm still friends with her but I'll never forget the look of amused embarrassment when she realised I'd found out.

@muckypaws

When I was 17 my friend asked me if I'd cover for her sister at the cafe they worked at. It was, they said, just tips and no actual pay, but as it was in a very special place (think historic national trust type place but privately run) I said I'd help them out. Anyway I did it in the end for several weeks, earned very little but happy to be working in such a lovely place, though it was hard work. Years later we were chatting about it and I said what CF they were at that place asking us to work for tips. Friend said, 'what do you mean, they paid us!' It turned out that friend's sister got paid for the shifts I worked. I had been taken for a mug and my friend, her sister and I think her parents all knew about it. I know it was a long time ago but I'm really sore when I think about it still! I'm still friends with her but I'll never forget the look of amused embarrassment when she realised I'd found out.

I'd have demanded the pay there and then, regardless of it being a long time ago.

@pinkyredrose

surely anyone who parks at an angle leaving restricted access to the car they have parked next to automatically qualifies as a dick, never mind a CF?

Well yes but the OP telling them to fuck off because she thinks they should have looked for and noticed a baby on board sign is also rather CF territory.

The OP did mention that she had parked in a completely empty part of the car park, and the CF had parked awkwardly right next to their car, even though there were plenty of empty spaces available. I think that's why OP thought that the other woman was a CF to get annoyed about OP's mum having to struggle to get OP's DC in the car?

I'm with the OP, the other person was a CF. I can never understand why people always want to park right next to another car when they don't need to 🤦‍♀️

FIL and MIL have birthdays very close together. FIL's is first, and MIL generously invites us out to dinner paid for by her. We pay for a couple of rounds of drinks at the bar afterwards as a thank you.

Move on a couple of weeks to MIL's birthday. FIL asks my DH beforehand to pay our share back to him afterwards. He paid by card himself after the meal as if he were being the generous one.

Another one a few years back. MIL's birthday again. Waiters make a big fuss of her. Bill is split between us this time, comes to £35 each without tip, but we give £80 for my husband and I because we didn't have change and the waiters really were great. FIL gives the waiter a £5 note and pockets the extra! He could have just given our £10 and not been out of pocket himself.

I consider whatever small amounts we lose to his CFery as payment for the entertainment of his sheer classlessness.

My elderly Dad recently sold his house and gave me and my sister £72k each. Sister was getting rid of an old couch that my Dad liked, and she charged him £600 for it.

We decided to install a CF in our back door, and got one with a little radio transmitter thing that you attach to your cat's collar so it only unlocks for him. Only it turns out another cat in the neighbourhood has a similar collar that opens out cat flap, so we now get uninvited visits from this strange moggy, and we don't know whether ours has discovered he can go into another stranger's house.

I once worked with a woman and we got to talking about what one takes when invited to a party at someone's house. I said a bottle of wine and she agreed. Then she said because she and her husband weren't big drinkers they always too those tiddly 1 glass bottles that are given out on some airlines. So that was at most half a glass each for them which is fine but nothing for the person giving the party. Especially as she pointed out that as it was their wine if there was any left they took that home with them.

My DH used to do some work for a council. The contract came to an end at a similar time to a change of personnel at the council. The council put the work out to tender, but described it quite poorly, including missing out some important things that the job should include.

My DH responded to the tender, including writing a proposal to explain what had been missed out and improving the description of the work. The council thanked him for his application and his explanation and told him that in light of the previously missing information they were going to re-run the tender. Fair enough. Except they re-ran it by copy and pasting my DH’s application. He decided to bite his tongue and just reapply. He didn’t win. But sure enough, the council have been in touch to ask him to explain more about how he used to do the work

and has he replied cat or told them to do one

@DicklessWonder

*strappy sandals

I thought stroppy was more appropriate!

@ElliFAntspoo

We decided to install a CF in our back door, and got one with a little radio transmitter thing that you attach to your cat's collar so it only unlocks for him. Only it turns out another cat in the neighbourhood has a similar collar that opens out cat flap, so we now get uninvited visits from this strange moggy, and we don't know whether ours has discovered he can go into another stranger's house.

There was a second or 2 there where I was wondering how one installs a cheeky fucker into a door!

mucky why are you still friends with the cunts who did this to you?

Friend and I were at the pub (in the old days). Table service, but you had to place your initial order at the bar. They bring you more wine etc once you're seated. Opened a tab, and we went to split the bill at the end. Came to £60, so I said to her 10% tip? It's a great pub, staff are lovely.

Now comes the time to say that friend and husband are very good earners, she never misses an opportunity to talk about their combined 6 figure income.

Friend says she's only giving £2 as we have to walk to the bar to order. I rolled my eyes are her and added £4 to make you the £6. She then grabs her £2 back.

I have so many stories about he CFery.

There was a second or 2 there where I was wondering how one installs a cheeky fucker into a door!
Oh, is that what CF was?
Well, in that case you push real hard. The harder you push the more likely they are to stay put.

Years ago I owned my own cleaning company. I'd taken a phone call from a potential new customer but she wanted a one off house clean on an Easter Friday with only a couple of days notice and we couldn't accommodate her, she phoned back twice over the next two days to say no other company could do it, and each time I said sorry, once again neither could we (and basically tough luck). There was something a bit "off" about her and whilst usually I would try and help people if I could I actually didn't want to this time.

So, it gets to the Friday and by coincidence my husband gets an emergency call out (it was during the mid 2000's recession and he was out of work so set up a handyman type role for himself to tide us over financially), a downstairs toilet had flooded and could he take a look. While he's there he phoned me to say this poor householder really needed a cleaner that day as she had family coming to stay, and he'd told her I had a cleaning business and might be able to help (if you are with still reading then you know where this is going). He knows I usually finish work at around 3.00pm on Friday, and the house isn't that bad, it's fairly tidy just needs cleaning, and I might be able to do it for her as an extra? Somehow (because I'm stupid) I agree to take another one of my staff with me to this large four bedroom house on late Friday afternoon to do a last minute clean. I take care of upstairs and my colleague cleans downstairs, and as predicted it's much worse than my husband thought it would be, but as the lady is paying me and asking about future availability I realise it's the same person who had been phoning over the last few days. We "chuckle" at the coincidence, I'm paid and go home exhausted from a long hot week.

Early Easter Monday morning I receive I phone call. She's not happy about the state of the clean and wants us to come back to redo it or have a refund. I'm genuinely surprised as we cleaned to a high standard, she was happy with it when we left, we have a good reputation etc so I agree to come and see her.

I arrive at the house and ask how I can help, I can't understand what's been missed etc and she leads me into the kitchen to show me a greasy food covered cooker, sticky worktops, overflowing bin etc. It wasn't "good enough" and the bathrooms were dirty etc. I know we hadn't left the house in that state so I question her. Has the cooker been used that weekend? Yes of course she replied, and I suppose you've been out and about with your family who came to stay, well of course is the reply. Well, once we clean a kitchen and a floor it doesn't miraculously stay clean forever I explain to her, I can't be responsible for any mess you make yourself afterwards, so we won't be re-cleaning it or giving you a refund. Well, says her husband who is also there but until this point had been quiet, maybe we can arrange for you to come back on a monthly basis? He actually had the good grace to look a bit embarrassed about it all and apologised to me as I left.

I still, to this day, don't know if she was being a deliberate CF or was genuinely a bit thick although I understood she had a professional job. The cheekiest thing is, we were called back a few weeks later by her husband to check if we could clean for them on a regular basis if anything ever came available. Sadly, nothing ever did...

So...two CF really. My husband for setting me up and the customer for taking the piss.

@ElliFAntspoo

We decided to install a CF in our back door, and got one with a little radio transmitter thing that you attach to your cat's collar so it only unlocks for him. Only it turns out another cat in the neighbourhood has a similar collar that opens out cat flap, so we now get uninvited visits from this strange moggy, and we don't know whether ours has discovered he can go into another stranger's house.

Is your cat microchipped? If it's a microchip cat flap and your cat is using it with a tag on their collar instead of an implanted chip, you could just get your cat chipped which would solve the problem. If they're going outdoors then ideally they should be chipped anyway.

@popNlock

Not the craziest story in the world but I'm a dancer and was performing in a big show when I was about 20. My best friend had organised our set with different dancers and we had had rehearsals for a few weeks. Night of the show we had all done a run through at the venue and had gotten into our costumes (most of it was bits and pieces we'd all had in our wardrobes) friend had given me a pair of shorts and asked me to wear this specific thing.

Less than an hour before the show best friend was getting flustered and nervous, turned to me in the dressing room and said 'this isnt working for me,give me those shorts I'm going to wear them''
I just stood there for a minute and then said 'no coz then I wont have anything to wear'?!
Friend got annoyed and said 'well I dont care find somthing else'
I kept arguing that I literally had nothing else to wear and did they want me to perform in my underwear or regular street clothes?? Reminded friend it wasn't long before the show, I had no other costume with me and this had been planned for weeks and asked friend ''could you not just wear what you have on, it looks lovely ?''

Friend kept saying they didn't care what I wore and made a show of me in front of everyone demanding I take them off again.
I quietly did..handed them to friend who said thanks.
I Went through my bag for clothes...put them on and walked out of the venue and got the bus home leaving them all one man down.
I was very proud of myself for not being a push over for once

Sorry but that’s the most pushover thing you could possibly have done! She got the shorts (what she wanted) and you missed out on the show and I presume, pay! I’d have said “Nope!” and done the show in the shorts.

I used to be required to provide weekly reports and one massive monthly report in an old job. It took ages and I would send them to senior management and directors. My first boss was great and told me to send them out as I did all the work. New bullying manager started and told me I don’t think it’s appropriate for you at your level to be contacting these people! Produce the report and I will send it’. As I performed really well he then got the glory of the good results and the report work. What he didn’t notice was the footer I put on each time ‘report produced by B clam dd/mm/yy’ it might not have been noticed but it made me happier. I was off sick once and he tried to run one of the smaller ones, ducked it up completely, sent me an e-Mail to say ‘you haven’t achieved your target!’ Which was the first time ever I looked at it and realised he hadn’t amended the formula in the spreadsheet so he gave the same stats as the previous week. It gave me great pleasure with him being on holiday to advise our operations manager that it was wrong. She told me to contact all those important people and give them the correct information. The e-nail to him saying ‘actually I exceeded it as usual, you did not amend the formula and I’m surprised as the user guide is available and also the stats will never stay the exact same for two weeks, that should be your sense check going forward.’ He was a fucking cunt!

@MiaFarrowsWheelbarrow that’s brilliant 😂

@ElliFAntspoo

There was a second or 2 there where I was wondering how one installs a cheeky fucker into a door! Oh, is that what CF was? Well, in that case you push real hard. The harder you push the more likely they are to stay put.

Yeah, but your visiting cat is pretty cheeky so your story still fits

@Polyethyl

Canadian brother never saw a penny of that money back, as far as I know.

@Polyethyl I don’t understand why he paid. Why did the other people assume it would be paid for rather than pay for themselves?

I used to childmind years ago. I took on a toddler and had him from 8-6 for 5 days. On the Friday his mum picked him up and said she wasn't going bring him back the next week. I was ok with this because he was very distressed each day and it was a trial week.
But she also thought she shouldn't pay me for the week because I lived in a mortgaged house and she rented from the council . She got short shift from me and had to go home to get the money, she hadn't even brought it with her.
She worked for the civil service and her husband as a car mechanic so it's not as if they couldn't afford it