I'm really close to a man who's changed his whole life around in the last year! He went through years of struggle that led to bad choices and he ended up in hospital. I won't go into huge details.
He's months and months sober.
Earning good money and working 5-6 solid days a week.
He's rescued a dog as part of his recovery. The dog gives him something positive and keeps him company.
He's skilled in what he does and is always getting offers for work. He's popular and seems to be supported alot. He also reaches out to anyone struggling and offers to tell them how he did it. He often gets contacted because he really has turned around.
We didn't plan to become close. But we met through a friend and developed an instant friendship. We are several months into a really close friendship. It's cups of tea and conversations. I can call him anytime. He can call me. We catch up everyday and once life resumes more we will probably go out and about places. Overall he's just lovely and I think the world of him. We help eachother with anything the other can't do.
I know his story. He's told me all the details. Why it happened. What happened. How it ended. He also told me part of his recovery is to be honest about his past. He told me he was terrified of meeting new people and opening up. But he felt safe talking to me and I know it was a massive thing telling me.
My best friend was curious about him as we've been close a while now. So I told her all his good points. Told her he's had some struggles and kept his story private mostly.
She went digging. I think her heart was in the right place. But her husband works in the same Industry and she sent him to work to dig out info. She then text me to ask if I was free for a walk.
I went to meet her. She asked to see his photo. Then she told me her husband had found out he's a p**s head. He's done this and that. She told me everything he had openly told me. I thanked her for caring. Told her he's not hiding anything. He's told me in detail everything she just said. I then said all I can say is he's like this now. He's turned his life around. He didn't want to be that person. He didn't enjoy being that person. He's trying to lead a normal life now and whilst I can't say he never will relapse he's currently living a normal life.
I'm just upset with it. People love gossip. People find it so easy to judge. To Tear someone to pieces. I fully expected one day my friend would meet him. But now she's made me feel like she's written him off. I just feel she had no right to snoop. Go fishing for information. Go discussing me with men who do not know me. What if it gets back to my friend. How is he supposed to feel?
How would you feel? I do understand people would have seen him when he was poorly and that will be their view on him. But I still feel my friend had no right.