Family fall out over a coffee table!

[PoppyBean]

I purchased a solid oak coffee table from my SIL about 4 years ago. She said she was getting rid, I said I loved it and asked how much she wanted for it, she wanted £30 so I paid and took my table.

I've just moved house and now have a toddler, my new lounge is an L shape and the coffee table doesn't really work anywhere in the room so I decided to sell it. I didn't really want to sell it as I still love it but it just doesn't fit. I done some research to see what's it's worth and what similar items are selling for and I sold it for £150.

SIL is fuming, says I've taken advantage and asked if i intend to share the profit. I said I paid the price you wanted you could of sold it yourself. I hadn't bought it to sell for profit and I'd be keeping it if it fit in my room but it doesn't.

Now my brother has text saying I've really upset her and she's shocked and disappointed at my greed.

SIL gifted me some baby items when my child was born. As they were gifted I asked what she wanted to do with them when I'd finished with them, she asked for some things back and said she wasn't bothered about the rest. I gave them away.

I think there's a huge difference between something you've been given as a gift, even if second hand and something you paid for so I don't feel like I have done anything wrong here.

Who is being unreasonable? Should I share the profit?

Ask your brother if he's shocked & disappointed at his wife's greed at charging your fir the table in the first place snd fir having £hundreds/thousands of FREE hair & mail treatments.

Tell him you'll happily give her half the profit, if she's prepared to pay for half of her treatments over the years....

Even though you have technically done nothing wrong, you have been greedy an really should have n generous and shared the windfall just as she was generous to you.

She's being totally unreasonable. But to make a point, I would give her half and then never do her hair and nails again (at least, not without charging her!).

@Bluntness100 I don't feel entitled just disappointed. There's lots more to the bigger story. They've alienated a lot of family from their greed and boasting around money. I'm often told she takes advantage of me but always defended them as it's my brother. If it wasn't for me they'd have little to no contact with our family, I've diffused many situations around similar issues and their entitled attitudes.

I do accept what you're saying and id never normally allow such silly things to become an issue but it's kind of the final straw of a lot of smaller issues. But I did want opinions on that specific scenario and I totally agree with your points regarding it.

She sold you the table 4 years ago, she needs to get a grip. I can neves be bothered to sell stuff so give it away, it's then up to the new owner to do what they will. Also it is give/gave notice gifted.

I think you are being greedy. She sold it cheap because you are family. A shame you don't value family above profit.

Your greed will damage the relationship - probably has already.

Of course you should share the profit. Don't be an arse.

@Radio4Rocks

I think you are being greedy. She sold it cheap because you are family. A shame you don't value family above profit.

Your greed will damage the relationship - probably has already.

Definitely a 'rtft' moment! At the very least read all of OP's posts!

YABGAF (grabby as fuck!)

It sounds as if your brother is being more level headed. Perhaps respond to him, ‘The price for hair is £80 and nails is £30. I’ve been doing (your wife’s) hair (every x number of months) and nails (every x number of weeks) for free for the past 10 years. I do not understand why I am now being accused of making a such a small amount of profit out of you both when I could have charged (your wife) approximately (£x thousand) pounds for my work.’

Idk how much that amount would be. But say the products are £15 for her hair and you've done it every 3 months, the amount you have lost each time would then be £65. That’s £2.6k over 10 years for starters. One thing for sure, I would never do her hair and nails for free again. Or at mates rates.

@turnthebiglightoff

YABGAF (grabby as fuck!)

Think Sil just arrived....

@Radio4Rocks

I think you are being greedy. She sold it cheap because you are family. A shame you don't value family above profit.

Your greed will damage the relationship - probably has already.

Wow poor OP, not getting the chance to do her hair and nails for free anymore because the relationship is damaged.... oh wait... In my book that’s called a win.

Can’t believe people accusing the OP of being greedy.

For 10 years she has been giving up her time to do this woman’s nails and hair for free! That is incredibly generous and it doesn’t sound as if SIL acknowledges that generosity.

I’d be upset if I sold a high quality piece of furniture to a family member at a low price, only to find they’d sold it for more than 3x that amount a few years later.

Yes it was yours to sell, but you were tactless and insensitive to try and make such a profit. She probably knew the value of it and was being kind by selling it to you at a fraction of its value.

I can see their point. Though it's not worth falling out over.

You must have known it was worth more than £30.

I've read all of your posts PoppyBean but not other posters suggestions so sorry if this is repeating previous.

Why not send a response either to your brother or SIL saying something along the lines of "I've had a bit of a chance to sit and think about this. I'm sorry, I presumed the coffee table had been sold to me at a reduced rate as a favour, such as I do with hair and nails etc. I'd never mean to cause offense - I'm happy to split the profit to save any hard feelings, and to avoid this in the future maybe it's best to keep business and pleasure separate. How's your week been?".

Kill it with kindness, every time. From your initial post, I could see both sides. However considering ten years (!!) of freebies from you (it's not your fault she can't sell on a haircut) she's being rather ridiculous. Hopefully something like this will draw a line under things and either let her back down gracefully, or will mean you won't be expected to give free services away to her from now on. Good luck x

I’m loving the mixed responses now. Those that have rtft and those, who have not. This should have been in your op. I get you wanted balanced views but you’re going to get a lot of people, who only read the first few posts or just your first one.

@whatk8ydid
Cross post. Why should op do this? The rest of the family has been telling her she’s been a doormat for years. I was a doormat to my sibling and wife, allowed awful treatment, including violence. This is not a time for doormatting.

I wouldn't give anything to her, if they're gonna be petty about it, simply say it's your fee for providing free service over the years. She's screwed herself over really if you don't feel like doing that anymore. It was 4 years ago, she got the money she wanted for it at the time. It didn't come with conditions I'm guessing of if you see it on I want half. OP YANBU.

There’s a good reason no one likes them by the sound of it. She’s taking the piss with the hair etc and I think have you pegged as staff not family.

She is being unreasonable and causing a fuss over nothing.

Your not being greedy, shes being entitled, fuck knows where people here get their ideas from.

You do her hair and nails for free and she sold you the table for a price she saw fit 4 years ago.
Id start charging the entitled cow for her hair and nails.

I hope you reminded your brother of that fact!

@nimbuscloud

@ barskits A mid-century vintage Danish coffee table by a well known designer.

I have 1960s dining table and 8 chairs by a Danish designer. Are they seriously worth that kind of money ?

Yes. Maybe not thousands but hundreds. Especially if they still have their labels on the underside.

Your SIL is a cheeky cow.

I would give her half of the profits just to enable me to make my point:

I would say that you are disappointed that she thinks so badly of you. It wasn't your intention to make money off her kindness four years ago, you made good use out of it but it was your item to sell on when you no longer needed it. People don't usually contact previous owners of items to share profits when things are sold on 😂😂😂

It isn't a shared item currently used by both of you. It's been FOUR YEARS.

I would then throw in that it's probably best to start treating her as a normal (paying) customer so it's clear where you both stand.

What a bitch.

Firstly, what you bought is legally yours do to whatever.
Secondly, I'd give her £120 (150-30 you paid 4 years ago) and never do her hair and nails again for free. What a CF!