Family fall out over a coffee table!

[PoppyBean]

I purchased a solid oak coffee table from my SIL about 4 years ago. She said she was getting rid, I said I loved it and asked how much she wanted for it, she wanted £30 so I paid and took my table.

I've just moved house and now have a toddler, my new lounge is an L shape and the coffee table doesn't really work anywhere in the room so I decided to sell it. I didn't really want to sell it as I still love it but it just doesn't fit. I done some research to see what's it's worth and what similar items are selling for and I sold it for £150.

SIL is fuming, says I've taken advantage and asked if i intend to share the profit. I said I paid the price you wanted you could of sold it yourself. I hadn't bought it to sell for profit and I'd be keeping it if it fit in my room but it doesn't.

Now my brother has text saying I've really upset her and she's shocked and disappointed at my greed.

SIL gifted me some baby items when my child was born. As they were gifted I asked what she wanted to do with them when I'd finished with them, she asked for some things back and said she wasn't bothered about the rest. I gave them away.

I think there's a huge difference between something you've been given as a gift, even if second hand and something you paid for so I don't feel like I have done anything wrong here.

Who is being unreasonable? Should I share the profit?

I wouldn't have told sil until I was giving her half of the profit. Then SIL would say "no no, the money is yours" and I would insist she take it and she would be very grateful.

I honestly think most people on here are batshit.

It was your coffee table, the money is yours.

Also why TF did you tell her how much you got for it?

I think she's being petty. What a silly thing to cause a family argument over. I'd give her the money just to make a point. Making a fuss over that much money for a table she sold four years ago is just silly.

I wouldn't have told her how much I'd sold it for in the first place...

Urm no you haven’t done anything wrong. She’s just jealous as she didn’t sell it herself. Don’t feel guilty and buy another table :)

I'm shocked at some of the replies on here saying the OP should share the profit!! She paid what the SIL asked because the SIL couldn't be bothered to research how much it was worth and deal with selling it but now FOUR YEARS on she's demanding the OP share the profit when it was sold fair and square is cheeky fucker behaviour, if it was given for free and sold on quickly after fair enough share but not after four years that'd madness and greedy!

@PoppyBean don't you dare share the profit with her your SIL is a cheeky fucker, she's had free beauty treatments for ten years and actually had the nerve to be pissed off over it whilst you were doing her nails for free! Good on you for the text's you sent your brother cheeky fuckers need to be called out for their behaviour or they'll just keep doing it.

Going forward OP stop doing her beauty treatments for free and don't bother trying to charge it's not worth the hassle and clearly your SIL doesn't appreciate the fact that she's getting it for free. Tell you brother that from now on SIL can go elsewhere to get her hair and nails done. I bet once that sinks in SIL will soon wanna make up and brush it all under the carpet especially since beauty salons and hairdressers are closed due to lockdown. Think of it as cheeky fucker karma she kicked off over £120 profit and has now lost her free hair and nail treatments I bet she'll be begging you when her roots start showing LOL

cheeky fucker karma

That is precisely it!!

I bet she won’t pay you for hair and nails. She won’t value the skill.

I trained in nails, we were told pick one person you’ll do for free and everyone else pays. The trainer did her mum for free.

Your Sil is being a bit demanding about the sale of her once before coffee table, as it's your prerogative to do what you wish with it now. She had the money she asked for years ago, and that's it, now it's your good fortune to sell it for much more. I would not be advancing her any profit money at all, as this is not the way people should think about such things regarding money in this situation.

I think maybe op you’re being all boosted up by the posters egging you on.

They will all move on to the next one, but your family fall out will be long lasting. As said, for me, neither of you have behaved well

You should never have agreed to do her hair and nails if you resented it and felt entitled to recompense. She should have said nothing over thr profit.

Personally when I agree to do something for something without payment I mean that, personally if I give something to someone I don’t care what they do after and if they profit, good for them.

Now the two of you have a long lasting fall out to deal with that will impact everyone in your families.

I disagree with @Bluntness100 I don't think op did anything wrong. I think her reply was perfectly reasonable.
Any reply to your last message op?

@Bluntness100

I think maybe op you’re being all boosted up by the posters egging you on.

They will all move on to the next one, but your family fall out will be long lasting. As said, for me, neither of you have behaved well

You should never have agreed to do her hair and nails if you resented it and felt entitled to recompense. She should have said nothing over thr profit.

Personally when I agree to do something for something without payment I mean that, personally if I give something to someone I don’t care what they do after and if they profit, good for them.

Now the two of you have a long lasting fall out to deal with that will impact everyone in your families.

There's keeping the peace and then there's having mug written on your forehead.

I'm always for the quiet life in most instances, but I can't believe people would accept the SIL behaviour. The alternative of staying quiet will still cause resentment and bad feeling in the long run.

You should never have agreed to do her hair and nails if you resented it and felt entitled to recompense. She should have said nothing over thr profit.

The OP may well have been fine to offer freebie hair and nails until such time that SIL totally took the piss and as a result the OP feels differently.

You are essentially arguing that once you believe in one thing you can't ever change that belief, especially when it's faaaaaamily.

Besides: Unless SIL made it clear 4 years ago that the money for the table would go to the children's bank accounts did it fuck, this being brought up now is pure manipulation on the SIL's part.

I'm always for the quiet life in most instances, but I can't believe people would accept the SIL behaviour

You have misread what I said. I would not have been doing someone’s hair and nails for free if I resented it. Snd thr op resents it.

So on that basis I would not be coming at it from the same view point as the op, as I’d either never Have done the hair and nails, or it wouldn’t occur to me it shouldn’t have been for free. So in that instance I’d not have bothered about splitting the money, but I’d also not have asked for it like the sil did

For me this is a stupid fall out where neither have behaved well

Id have split the profit

Op was absolutely right with her behaviour and did nothing wrong and absolutely needs to point out the grabby fucker behaviour from SIL.

I don’t ever agree she shouldn’t have said anything, god no. What kind of a relationship must it be if you have to omit facts to save drama? Not a good one.

I’m a big believer in honesty and with honesty people will show you who they are.

OT a bit but OP I had an issue in the past where sharing my weight loss would cause massive family drama (a sister cried and said I had made her fat when I lost weight) and a recent health kick and 32lbs weight loss I was actually very hesitant to share my success publicly (import to me that I do because I’m tired of being made to feel shame around my weight)

I was still wearing the same clothes they were just looser and people were obviously noticing the change but I refrained from sharing the actual figure or anything in a visible way. It’s then I realised those family weren’t really family because they should be able to share or keep their mouths shut in my success not make me feel bad for doing something well.

The reason I share that is because the same should apply here imo. You've had a success. You made a bit of cash. Your Brother and SIL should be either keeping their mouths shut or saying well done for the bit of profit you made. Not make you feel bad for a transaction that occurred 4yrs ago.

@Bluntness100 it won't impact everyone in the family. It will Impact them. Instead of me defending them and encouraging people to include them in events they'll just be left out. Instead of having me defend and try and spin their behaviour and choices around so people continue to tolerate them they will just completely alienate everyone.

I'll get a big fat pat on the back from everyone for standing up for myself and seeing them for what they are.. entitled.

I wonder whether she will backtrack when she realises the gravy train is coming to an end with her beauty treatments.

That will show her true colours.

She sounds very selfish.

Just to drive the point home, I would do the calculation on what the 10 years of hair and nails should have cost and send that also. They are grasping and entitled and it seems that your whole family also see them in this light.

"You should never have agreed to do her hair and nails if you resented it and felt entitled to recompense."

I don't think the OP did resent it and feel entitled to recompense, until the CFSIL began playing silly buggers, at which point she thought, "you know what? Fuck it!"

I think your relationship is damaged either way, get rid of the scroungers.

@CallmeAngelina

"You should never have agreed to do her hair and nails if you resented it and felt entitled to recompense."

I don't think the OP did resent it and feel entitled to recompense, until the CFSIL began playing silly buggers, at which point she thought, "you know what? Fuck it!"

Yes, I agree with this. I think it first twanged with the buying of the table but she let it go and it ebbed, but now this has happened and she’s just thinking “are you for real?”

You have misread what I said. I would not have been doing someone’s hair and nails for free if I resented it. Snd thr op resents it

I like doing things for family/friends and I don't expect anything in return, but if they started treating me badly my feelings on helping them will quickly change. Sounds like the OP didn't resent it until the SIL starting being ridiculous about a table she hasn't even owned for 4 years.

I also doubt op would have been so harsh as to say payment for the treatments from now on if her brother hadn’t have dropped the manipulative, and likely bollocks, response of it being for the children.

I'm with you OP. It's not like you bought it for £30 and sold it the next day. She wanted it gone and I think, considering what you do for her, she had a cheek to charge you. Having the coffee table didn't work for you years later so you put a bit of effort in to sell it properly.

I just cannot believe she has the cheek to call you on it and your brother makes.out that you're robbing from his kids. Like you doing the hair and nails isn't how you support your family.

They're cheeky fuckers and you absolutely did the right thing by standing up for yourself