Family fall out over a coffee table!

[PoppyBean]

I purchased a solid oak coffee table from my SIL about 4 years ago. She said she was getting rid, I said I loved it and asked how much she wanted for it, she wanted £30 so I paid and took my table.

I've just moved house and now have a toddler, my new lounge is an L shape and the coffee table doesn't really work anywhere in the room so I decided to sell it. I didn't really want to sell it as I still love it but it just doesn't fit. I done some research to see what's it's worth and what similar items are selling for and I sold it for £150.

SIL is fuming, says I've taken advantage and asked if i intend to share the profit. I said I paid the price you wanted you could of sold it yourself. I hadn't bought it to sell for profit and I'd be keeping it if it fit in my room but it doesn't.

Now my brother has text saying I've really upset her and she's shocked and disappointed at my greed.

SIL gifted me some baby items when my child was born. As they were gifted I asked what she wanted to do with them when I'd finished with them, she asked for some things back and said she wasn't bothered about the rest. I gave them away.

I think there's a huge difference between something you've been given as a gift, even if second hand and something you paid for so I don't feel like I have done anything wrong here.

Who is being unreasonable? Should I share the profit?

Most reasonable.

Very good... she knows now her days of free treatments are over, get she's kicking herself for making a fuss

Excellent message and your reply. I would really dislike that she has now tried to make it about the children.
Well done for pushing back.
Do you think she (they) have now worked out they have shot themselves in the foot?!

You bought it from her for £30, fair and square. If you’d bought it from a stranger on eBay then sold it for a profit, would you be expected to share then too?

Making a profit off something a stranger sold young is a completely different thing. I'd split the profit with her

Hmmm. Bit of a drip feed about the hair and nails

Well done op
Don’t think you’ll be doing her hair anytime soon so you’ll have more time back

Oh you sweetheart OP! Fucking lovely. 👌

I call best response recorded on mumsnet ever!

Well done op 🙌

Manipulative as fuck as well trying to turn it into being about the children. Do one you mercenary cow. Your reply was perfect!

Perfect! That £120 was well spent I think. You called out a dick and have saved yourself hours of your life.

Bloody well done.

Fab reply OP, pretty low of her to bring the kids into it. Well done for batting that straight back into her court!

So I replied and said the money I make from hair and nails supports my children, buys them food and puts a roof over their heads. So is she taking from my children? I don't want to fall out, I'll bank transfer the profit and it can go into the kids bank accounts. In future she can pay for my skills and the money will go into my children's bank accounts, is that fair?

I think you’re mixing up 2 separate issues.

You did her a favour by doing her hair and nails for years and not charging, but it’s unlikely she’d have bothered with monthly hair and nail appointments otherwise? Who gets their hair cut every 4 weeks?
So she hasn’t ‘saved money’ on hair and nail appointments. She accepted something free from her SIL. If you wanted payment you should have said so at the time instead of resenting it for years! Maybe she thought you liked doing hair/nails or practicing on her or she saw it as girly bonding time.

I don’t think you should have brought your children into it and accused her of taking money from them by not paying for a hair-nail service you have never charged her for!

I know your brother said she puts money from furniture sales into her kids accounts and you were retaliating. But saying she’s been taking money from your kids by letting you do her hair and nails for free, sounds a bit ridiculous and implies you’ve always hated doing her hair/nails.

The table is a different issue; you made a big profit on a piece of expensive furniture she gave you for a fraction of the cost. You could have at least advertised it discreetly. Or asked if she minded you selling it on. I know you ‘bought’ it but things like that get awkward between families and friends. Maybe she thinks you took the table knowing the true worth and concealed it from her, planning to sell.

Sounds like you’ve already fallen out. Is this really worth a family feud over?

Well done OP. You nailed it.

Oh come on. 4 years after. If you’d done it straight after I’d be pissed off but 4 years... keep the money and sod them

Brilliant reply to your brother there.

I hadn’t RTFT but now have and your reply is EPIC op. And yes cheeky biatch, if you make a living out of what you do and she expects it for free. The cheek! Please don’t transfer the money OP. Give it to your kids

The fact that she wants profit from a table that simply isn’t hers is absolutely appalling. The moment it was sold to you, she ceased to have any say in it whatsoever.

She’s basically trying to extort money out of you by way of threat...the threat of impairing the relationship between you and your brother, your children and likely other family members too.
She’s a disgusting bully and your brother is a muppet to be operating on her behalf.

You don’t say if he’s older or younger than you but I wonder if he’s older he thinks it’s okay to assume authority over you or push you around, so lets his wife do it too?
I can’t fathom why else he might think this is ok? Maybe he’s just a spineless dope.

In any case, you have been most excellent. It’s them, not you.

@HikeForward

• So I replied and said the money I make from hair and nails supports my children, buys them food and puts a roof over their heads. So is she taking from my children? I don't want to fall out, I'll bank transfer the profit and it can go into the kids bank accounts. In future she can pay for my skills and the money will go into my children's bank accounts, is that fair?

I think you’re mixing up 2 separate issues.

You did her a favour by doing her hair and nails for years and not charging, but it’s unlikely she’d have bothered with monthly hair and nail appointments otherwise? Who gets their hair cut every 4 weeks?
So she hasn’t ‘saved money’ on hair and nail appointments. She accepted something free from her SIL. If you wanted payment you should have said so at the time instead of resenting it for years! Maybe she thought you liked doing hair/nails or practicing on her or she saw it as girly bonding time.

I don’t think you should have brought your children into it and accused her of taking money from them by not paying for a hair-nail service you have never charged her for!

I know your brother said she puts money from furniture sales into her kids accounts and you were retaliating. But saying she’s been taking money from your kids by letting you do her hair and nails for free, sounds a bit ridiculous and implies you’ve always hated doing her hair/nails.

The table is a different issue; you made a big profit on a piece of expensive furniture she gave you for a fraction of the cost. You could have at least advertised it discreetly. Or asked if she minded you selling it on. I know you ‘bought’ it but things like that get awkward between families and friends. Maybe she thinks you took the table knowing the true worth and concealed it from her, planning to sell.

Sounds like you’ve already fallen out. Is this really worth a family feud over?*

Firstly this is the first the children getting the money has been mentioned. Secondly just because you can’t imagine someone paying so much monthly doesn’t mean it’s true. Pre covid... I have my hair cut and coloured every five weeks, my nails done fortnightly, waxing once a month.

We had a similar situation, but without the row. My uncle was getting rid of his old table, we'd just moved into our first house, short of cash, happily took it off his hands, despite not actually liking it much. We kept it and used it for about 5 years. Then when it came to redoing the kitchen we wanted to change it. We looked up similar tables (it was solid teak, from the 70s), turned out it was worth £500! I did think we should split the profit and did offer my uncle some money, but he said he'd have just taken it to the tip and we did him a favour.

But it's a different situation as we'd got ours free in a time of need, and you bought yours fair and square. That makes it yours to do with as you like.

Using ‘the children’ as she did was just...euuugghh. 😒

Maybe some distance will ultimately be a good thing. She does not sound nice.

You've nailed it... I would imagine she'll be a bit gutted that she's getting £60 but no more free beauty treatments. That's the way the cookie crumbles when you want to play petty games 🤷‍♀️

Bravo response OP. 👏

@HikeForward so if she wouldn't pay full Price for her nails but will happily take them free from me every 2 weeks is that ok? Is that not way more cheeky than genuinely selling a piece of furniture that no longer suits and making a small profit?

Give her half the profit minus the £30 you paid for it