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Original poster

Family fall out over a coffee table!

485 replies

PoppyBean · 29/01/2021 21:30

I purchased a solid oak coffee table from my SIL about 4 years ago. She said she was getting rid, I said I loved it and asked how much she wanted for it, she wanted £30 so I paid and took my table.

I've just moved house and now have a toddler, my new lounge is an L shape and the coffee table doesn't really work anywhere in the room so I decided to sell it. I didn't really want to sell it as I still love it but it just doesn't fit. I done some research to see what's it's worth and what similar items are selling for and I sold it for £150.

SIL is fuming, says I've taken advantage and asked if i intend to share the profit. I said I paid the price you wanted you could of sold it yourself. I hadn't bought it to sell for profit and I'd be keeping it if it fit in my room but it doesn't.

Now my brother has text saying I've really upset her and she's shocked and disappointed at my greed.

SIL gifted me some baby items when my child was born. As they were gifted I asked what she wanted to do with them when I'd finished with them, she asked for some things back and said she wasn't bothered about the rest. I gave them away.

I think there's a huge difference between something you've been given as a gift, even if second hand and something you paid for so I don't feel like I have done anything wrong here.

Who is being unreasonable? Should I share the profit?

OP posts:
CSIblonde · 30/01/2021 11:50

I think you should have given her some of the £150 as a nice gesture that due to her generosity you made a massive profit.. But where did you sell it, I can't get rid of my solid wood Cotswold Company coffee table for love or money & the going rate for them where I live is approx £70-90!

ElaineMarieBenes · 30/01/2021 11:51

I agree with @CocoPark - give her the £60 but stop doing her hair and nails or at least not for free!

ChronicallyCurious · 30/01/2021 12:27

I’d understand if you’d bought it and sold it straight on but it’s been years. Tell her to fuck off

jessycake · 30/01/2021 12:33

I think in the end you are going to lose lot more than the profit you made on the coffee table

Youseethethingis · 30/01/2021 12:36

I think in the end you are going to lose lot more than the profit you made on the coffee table
Yes, you’ll lose a gigantic pain in your arse by the sounds of things 🙄

Edgeoftheledge · 30/01/2021 12:38

Is it worth falling out over? Just share the proft

user1467048527 · 30/01/2021 12:45

@SarahBellam

I assume you’re talking about Ercol/Nathan style furniture which has recently had a huge renaissance. Four years ago charity shops were full of this type of 60s and 70s furniture but now it’s much more popular (and rightly so. It’s lovely stuff). It’s entirely likely that a second hand Ercol coffee table was only worth about £30 four years ago, but because it’s back in fashion it’s worth £150. Either way, it was your table to do with as you wish - you’d paid for it fair and square. You might want offer your SiL half the profit and say that now you were putting your relationship on a commercial footing you’re now going to charge for hair and nails - mates rates of course - you don’t want to drag the arse out of it.
I was wondering about this too. If oak means Oak Furnitureland then value will be the same or lower now, but if it’s older op may just be benefiting from how tastes in vintage and antiques change. If you sell something cheap that’s unfashionable today (big Victorian wardrobe, say) you can hardly be annoyed if the person who buys it gets more when it becomes more valuable.

It would be useful to know here because if it something that has become desirable in the last few years, then it makes SIL look especially greedy to now want in on a change in value of something she sold years ago.

Bluegrass · 30/01/2021 12:46

You could give her the profit but there is no fucking way on Earth I’d ever do her the favour of doing her nails and hair again, I’d feel like her servant tending to her like that.

So let’s face it, assuming the OP withdraws her services (and it would be humiliating not to) the SIL is going to be kicking off anyway - that ship has sailed so it’s pointless to say this is “not worth falling out over”!!

KindnessCrusader · 30/01/2021 13:04

I've just read update about hair and nails. Very short sighted of her.

BarbaraofSeville · 30/01/2021 13:17

You did her a favour buying the table 4 years ago as she couldn't be arsed selling it for the market value in FB, which may or may not have been more than £30 at the time.

Fashions change and there's been many a time when you couldn't even give away certain types of second hand furniture, let alone sell it.

You got lucky by selling it for a decent price, there was nothing to stop her doing the same.

Plus the fact that you've given her hundreds, if not thousands of pounds worth of hair dressing and nail treatments over the years means that she is very cheeky indeed to be upset about you making half decent money by selling the table.

sweetgingercat · 30/01/2021 13:22

FFS just give her half the money and keep the peace. It's not worth it. You've got to get on with her for another 50 years! And next time it happens, don't tell her.

2pinkginsplease · 30/01/2021 13:25

Your sil is a cheeky mare, she sold you the table. It’s now your property and you’ve sold it, making a profit. It has nowt to do with her.

I wouldn’t be offering any money.

Covidcorvid · 30/01/2021 13:31

I think when you have been doing her hair and nails for years she was cheeky charging you £30 in the first place.

nitsandwormsdodger · 30/01/2021 13:36

You were silly to sell it in a way she could see, that lacked tact , even though you were perfectly in the right to sell it you were shortsighted not to think it could cause Agro , she was tight not to just give it to you in the first place , personally if you value the relationship I'd send s bunch if flowers and apology for ...... what ever the appropriate word is ...

diamondsr4u · 30/01/2021 13:43

I can't believe some of the responses saying she needs to share the profit because sil is family. Are you all ok in the head? Sil didn't give her family rate on the table, she clearly thought it won't go for much and so couldn't be bothered to sell it herself and asked for £30 from op as she must've thought that's what she would get had she sold. I bet she would've just thrown it out or gave it away for free had op not said she'll buy it.

I can't fathom buying something from my sil, and then selling it at a higher value, and then feeling like I need to share the profit. I bought it fair and square. It's my property now. I can do what I like it with it.
Likewise if my sil bought something off me and sold it at a high profit I wouldn't expect her to share the profit with me. Op sil is seriously deranged, has she never seen money that she's practically begging for it and making a scene, how embarrassing!

By the way Op, there's a box to tick on market place fb to prevent your friends from seeing your listings

Boysnme · 30/01/2021 13:54

SIL said at the time she couldn’t be bothered putting it on FB and selling it so getting it cheap was nothing to do with being family and more likely SIL being lazy.

OP I’d be messaging your brother back telling him how disappointed you are with him suggesting you are greedy and that he can now tell SIL that there’s no more free haircuts or nails getting done.

Crazycrazylady · 30/01/2021 13:59

I'd message them back with a very passive aggressive oh I didn't realise we had a strictly business relationship and give her half the money. I would then wait abs the next time she asked you to do her hair and nails I'd refuse saying it's better not to mix business and family as she has shown how easy it is to fall out .

acatcalledjohn · 30/01/2021 14:10

@Boysnme

SIL said at the time she couldn’t be bothered putting it on FB and selling it so getting it cheap was nothing to do with being family and more likely SIL being lazy.

OP I’d be messaging your brother back telling him how disappointed you are with him suggesting you are greedy and that he can now tell SIL that there’s no more free haircuts or nails getting done.

^ This.

This thread is bonkers. So the SIL is entitled to free treatments, as well as the profit on a table which the OP paid for at the time and thus has legally owned for the last 4 years?Not to mention it's the OP who made the effort to research and market the table to sell. Good on her.

Even if the hair/nail post is a drip feed, the fact still remains that SIL has zero claims on that table.

AnneElliott · 30/01/2021 14:11

I'd give her half the profit (minus £30 and any fees) but I wouldn't be doing her hair and nails again.

Cheeky mare - totally grabby of her when you give your services for free!

Sure if you'd sold it straight away it would have been wrong if you but 4 years later she's taking the piss.

Original poster
PoppyBean · 30/01/2021 14:18

So I replied to my brother and said

I've thought about it all and I'm actually quite upset at her reaction. I don't want to get into petty arguments but you sold me a table which I've profited on and I do now see why she'd feel upset about that but looking at the bigger picture, what about the free hair and nails she's been having for the last 10years? I've never begrudged or minded doing this for her but actually she's saving a month the profit I made from that single coffee table. If I charged even half my usual price for those services the saving wouldn't even come close to the profit from the table.
I've had the table years I haven't taken it and sold it on purely to make profit, I didn't think she'd be bothered.

He replied and said that the reason she's upset is because anything she sells in that way goes into the kids bank accounts and so she feels like the money has been taken from them.

So I replied and said the money I make from hair and nails supports my children, buys them food and puts a roof over their heads. So is she taking from my children? I don't want to fall out, I'll bank transfer the profit and it can go into the kids bank accounts. In future she can pay for my skills and the money will go into my children's bank accounts, is that fair?

I haven't had a reply yet!

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 30/01/2021 14:19

Well,yeah it’s fair but it’s the nuclear option. At least you don’t need to do her hair and nails any more.

AnneElliott · 30/01/2021 14:24

I think your reply is good and your brother quite frankly should have told her to stop making a fuss about a bloody table! Sounds like everyone tip toes around her!

icelollycraving · 30/01/2021 14:24

Perfectly handled!

frazzledasarock · 30/01/2021 14:24

It’s funny how it’s being assumed on here that a greedy grabby right advantage a ducks arse SIL sold the coffee table to OP at a discounted rate. She probably whacked on an extra £10 thinking OP is so stupid she’ll pay over the odds.

And seriously people here would expect money for an item they sold family over four years ago?

I’d say sure half the selling price £75 less admin fees for advertising and selling it and storing it at yours for the past four years means she owe she you £30.

And stop doing her hair and nails and stop defending them to your family.

If you behave like a doormat you’ll be treated like one by CF’s which your brother and SIL clearly are.

acatcalledjohn · 30/01/2021 14:28

He replied and said that the reason she's upset is because anything she sells in that way goes into the kids bank accounts and so she feels like the money has been taken from them.

So I replied and said the money I make from hair and nails supports my children, buys them food and puts a roof over their heads. So is she taking from my children? I don't want to fall out, I'll bank transfer the profit and it can go into the kids bank accounts. In future she can pay for my skills and the money will go into my children's bank accounts, is that fair?

Oof. Playing them at their own game. I like it!

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