Something unkind which has stayed for you forever 😟

[Heartbrokenstill]

My grandmother who I never saw from year to year.. I was about 7 when my mam and dad took me to hers at Christmas (I never ever got a Xmas gift or card/birthday card/gift from her) I was a shy quiet child and she had a real Christmas tree in her sitting room and I put my hand underneath a beautiful tree toy just to look.. not taking it off the tree or anything and she smacked my hand away.. mam and dad was drinking tea and never saw she died years ago but I still feel the sadness of the little 7 year old I was all them years ago .. Don't know what I want from this post but lockdown really makes you feel low... I am nearly 60 no just to give you a idea how long ago it was

My dad "she's worth 100 of you" about my sister compared to me

"Your face looks like a fishes face" bullies at school

"You're a terrible mother " emotionally abusive ex h

My mum and I have a fairly good relationship now but really didn’t get on when I was late teens. She’d had more children with my step dad who were a lot younger and looking back I suspect she was suffering from some sort of post-natal depression although as a teenager I had no idea about that sort of thing.

She used to have these awful mood swings and I couldn’t do anything right (regardless of the fact I spent a lot of my time looking after my younger siblings) I wasn’t perfect of course but I was a straight A student, didn’t drink or do drugs and always had a little job to earn my own money while still at school. She said some very cruel things to me during that time that I’ll never forget.

During my teacher training. I felt unsupported and went to the mentor for advice after school. When I got to her room I heard her discussing me with another teacher. They said they were glad I didn't teach their children. I have never forgotten it. 20 years later, if I have a bad lesson I still wonder if they are right.
I sat the car park crying in my car. Staff just walked by and ignored. Not one stopped to ask if I was ok.
I asked the uni to move me and I flourished at the other school.

When I was about 7 one of my dad's workmates had given him a dolls Pram to give to me, it was white, hard bodied with a navy hood and a flower on the side, and I adored it.

I was always playing with my dolls, and this Pram was just the business.

I played with it constantly for a week, then came home from school one day and it was gone. My mother had sold it 😓

@Eeeemac I think you'll find that people like me (and quite possibly many others on this thread) who suffer abuse as children and throughout life, go on to be manic people pleasers and pushovers. We become the sort of people who go above and beyond to do nice things for wankers who don't deserve it and are often taken advantage of.

I don't think anyone on this thread said we were perfect

@Graymare

DM telling me that she regretted having children, just after saying that DF probably wouldn't have left her if I had been a boy, as he'd never wanted a girl. Strangely enough I have always struggled with low self esteem.

😞

Also a more lighthearted one - I always for some reason used to think I was quite a good singer and loved singing. In my first year at secondary school I was singing along to something and my friend said “gosh you are a terrible singer”

I was genuinely shocked she thought that and never sing in front of other people now

Awww some of these are so sad, bless you all.
@Heartbrokenstill that was so cruel of her.
There are some really spiteful characters about and to be deliberately unkind to a child is unforgivable

@Eeeemac

I wonder...do you ever remember the times you have done something that could have been construed as unkind?

It often feels that the people who post like this really believe they have never done anything wrong in their lives that could have hurt others.

None of us are perfect, not your Gran, not you, not me, not any poster here. It is odd how clearly we remember the unkindness of others and how easily we forget the times we too have been unkind.

Read the room for goodness sakes.

@Havlerr. You story really touched my sweetheart 😢 please be so proud of who you are xxx awful people in this world!

I remember being left at my grandmas whilst my Mum and Dad did something or other with my brother. Every morning she’s sit me on a stool and do my hair and one day started telling me how much prettier the girl next door was than me. It was horrible I remember the tears falling but knew I couldn’t let her see me cry. My grandad was lovely he was bullied my my granny.

There’s been a few from my mum but I remember when I was around 12 and had got an ‘undercut bob’ I was so proud with this new hair cut , and she caught me looking in the mirror when we were home. All I remember is her saying ‘you really are so VAIN, aren’t you?’ And sweeping out the door. Never forgotten it and how ashamed and embarrassed it made me feel.

When I was a child we would go round my mums friends house. Said friends husband would always tickle me, resulting in me being pinned to the floor wetting my pants and him on top tickling me every single time.

@tinytemper66 their loss! Glad you got on well at your other school

I was at a baby cinema ten years ago when a lady came in slightly late. Some snooty cows in the row in front of me had basically laid all their kit out on the spare seats and when the woman asked if she could sit there, they said no, they're all taken [definitely not, they remained empty, and in sarcastic voices too]. I saw her at the coffee bar later and I think - I hope, I really hope, it was early baby days - I said "I thought that was horrible" . I think she smiled but said nothing. Never forgotten how horrible those women were. It was in Greenwich in 2010 if it was you, and I was always sorry that I didn't say something immediately.

I was in my first job. Felt ill and stayed off sick and boyfriend popped around to check on me. My best friend was daughter of the boss and told her my boyfriend popped over and I wasn't ill. She sacked me. I was ill. End of friendship

Being forced to throw all my seven years of James Bond cuttings and novels, remember I had very few friends at home a family who mocked me on a daily basis, the day before my 21st, for years I wouldn’t have a Fleming novel in the house too frightened they’d be took of me, I’d never go back to my teens or before being 40 for all the money in the world.

My late mother told me when I was 8, "don't eat that, you don't need it. Remember, nobody likes fat little girls"
She's been dead since I was 12 but it's the one thing I can so vividly remember

When I left my husband he visited my father, hoping to get him to talk me round.
My father just told him, “take the ‘Smiths’ (my mother’s wealthy family from whom I received an inheritance’) for all you can get.
My father has never given me a penny. Thank goodness my mother’s family were more generous!

@Heartbrokenstill
Yes,
Stepmom saying when I was 11

“ It is very hard to love another woman’s child “

My own mum had died young

These things stay with us.

Shame is a very powerful emotion. Someone in a position of authority said something horrible to my DD last year and I told her that the shame she was feeling belonged to the woman who had said it, not to her.

I carried shame for many years after a doctor told me off for acting like a silly little baby, and how actual little babies cope better and how I was embarrassing myself during a very painful medical procedure when I was 6 years old. It wasn’t even like I was being uncooperative. It finally dawned on me, about 25 years later, that it was him who should be ashamed not me. It was like a huge weight had been lifted. Until then I hadn’t realised the extent to which it had followed me through the years.

Being 17 before I had a fashionable pair of jeans always being told I was too fat for them.

Another one is that I had this orange coloured toy, my cousin had made him at school, bright orange and looked like Douglas from The Magic Roundabout. I adored him, his name was Orangey, and I took him everywhere, out to play, into hospital with me, just everything I did included my Orangey.

As I grew up he lived on my bed, but I still cuddled him every night.

Same thing, came home from school and he had gone, looked everywhere, asked my mother and she said she had thrown him out as I was "too old" for him.

I was absolutely devastated, cried for days, then got told off for making a fuss.

I'm 54 now and still haven't forgiven her.

My teachers thought it was hysterical to take out their frustrations on year 5(11) by giving out back stabbing awards. I got second for scruffiest girl and the teacher who had made my life shit for 5 years sneered I couldn't even pull off being a mess. The whole year had a good laugh. Even my best friend at the time. She probably still wonders why the hell i never spoke to her again with 2 years of 6th form.

Being approached by a group of ‘popular’ girls at secondary school when I was about 14 and being told ‘you are so fucking ugly’ without any provocation on my part at all.

Ten years later the ringleader turned up as a guest of the bride at my nephew’s wedding. I cried when my sister said I must have been over sensitive as she seemed ‘lovely’