Something unkind which has stayed for you forever 😟

[Heartbrokenstill]

My grandmother who I never saw from year to year.. I was about 7 when my mam and dad took me to hers at Christmas (I never ever got a Xmas gift or card/birthday card/gift from her) I was a shy quiet child and she had a real Christmas tree in her sitting room and I put my hand underneath a beautiful tree toy just to look.. not taking it off the tree or anything and she smacked my hand away.. mam and dad was drinking tea and never saw she died years ago but I still feel the sadness of the little 7 year old I was all them years ago .. Don't know what I want from this post but lockdown really makes you feel low... I am nearly 60 no just to give you a idea how long ago it was

'I thought I fancied you but seeing you makes makes me wonder if I'm gay'

😭

When I started high school my group of friends from primary all turned against me and another of the group. We were bullied by them. One night I must have been acting up at home and was told “it’s no wonder you have no friends”. It still hurts. A few weeks later we all made up but I’m still upset at the lack of insight my parents had, I was 11.

It's strange how we remember certain events out of the many many others that we will have encountered during our lives.
I was very thin as a child, especially my legs and used to get teased mercilessly. One day, aged around 14, we were getting changed after PE. Someone made a comment about 'thin ankles being a sign of beauty', and one girl piped up "Sultan has thin ankles". Almost everyone in the room roared with laughter. This happened around 37 years ago and I still cringe when I think about it.

My mother told me when she was in one of her drunken rages that she didn’t know why I preferred my father so much (wonder why) as he wasn’t even my real dad.

She also told me she loved my sister more than me, I must have been about 7.

She’s dead now and Funnily enough I don’t miss her one little bit.

In the playground in year 1, this nasty boy looking me up and down and going ‘are you having a baby or something, you’re so fat!’. Many others in the same ilk! I wasn’t even fat!

I often think of the time my uncle smacked me round the back of my head (hard!) in anger. I think I’d got a bit overexcited playing a game and he decided to wallop me instead of telling me to calm down. Like you OP I remember the shock and feeling deeply ashamed. I wish I’d told my parents as my Dad would’ve hit the roof! I’d never trust my Uncle alone with DS, even for a second.

@wonderwhatshappening1978

'I thought I fancied you but seeing you makes makes me wonder if I'm gay'

😭

I would actually interpret that as him thinking you're stunningly beautiful then coming to the conclusion he simply must be gay as he just doesn't fancy you. 😊

I had a piano teacher who berated me on my second lesson for not knowing where f sharp was - I was about 7 or 8.She was screaming in my face. She made me sit on the stool while she hit my fingers with a spoon every time I didn’t get f sharp. 2 minutes before the end of the lesson she turned forward in the book a few pages and said ‘oh the sharps are further on in the book’ then she told me not to tell my mother as she would say I had been a liar. I got in the car and wet myself with relief as I sat it the car. I never told my mum and got a bollocking for wetting the car seat. I refused to go back and my parents never forced me.

One of our family members was an abusive arsehole constant ridiculing, you are thick, a liar and so on aged 10 I answered back when he said ‘you’ll understand when you have little shits’ and I responded I am not having children I don’t want your genes or any genes were share to be passed on and he retorted ‘a slag a little slut like you, you wouldn’t be able to keep your legs shut long enough’ 35 plus years later it still makes me cry. I never brought it up later in life and still see him and he tells of how wonderful he is with children and how kind. My sister told me I was fat every day for years and stupid and ugly - absolute abuse.

Mine was from a teacher, who picked up my exercise book and said to the class, "Isn't it funny how it's only the poor children who write this badly? " and held my book out for them to see. Age 11.
We weren't poor, my parents just preferred drink to their children.

A distant family member on seeing me first and thinking I was my sister then saw my sister and loudly proclaimed ( to sister) thank goodness I thought you had but on weight ( or words very similar).

I remember being about 6 years old on holiday, we were just coming out of the hotel room and one of the hotel maids started gushing over how pretty my sister was, playing with her hair and admiring her outfit.
She looked at me and carried on her way.. we are identical twins.
I remember feeling so sad but never said anything.

As for teachers

The stories of adults being unkind are so depressing. What is wrong with some people!?

I was told a number of times by a parent that I was liar with no morals and would never ever been successful at anything ever.

@Bibidy. Beautiful proud Red haired girl here also .. It also took years for it to be accepted also! My youngest grand daughter is also a beautiful red head but its really loved now!

This is really sad. Thoughtless cruel words can do so much damage.

Mine relate to my first teacher when I was five. She was nasty and called me names because I was slow and had poor motor skills, which these days would probably prompt extra educational support. It completely wrecked my confidence for my entire school career.

The thought of a teacher behaving that way towards my own daughter makes me feel sick. I can only hope things have moved on since I was at school.

When I was in sixth form I was really struggling mentally, so my form teacher in a one to one conversation informed me that no one liked me anyway. I mean why would you say that to a distressed teenager?

Mine was my first day of secondary school. I walked to the bus stop and one of the older girls said to me "well you can tell who got the looks in your family " ( meaning my older brother and not me) . He certainly is very handsome and I am certainly very ugly and have come to terms with that but my goodness at the time that comment stung .

Had a much needed job interview to get back in to work after having DD while DH was away with work. Eldest (age 5) off to school, youngest (9 month old) due to be babysat by wonderful DSis, who has newborn. Eldest wakes up unwell, just a temperature but definitely not ok to go school. DSis understandably says she would rather not have any ill children around baby. So I phone my parents who are retired and ask them to come over for an hour or two and look after the children. They say no, because they have plans to go Christmas shopping and they have already set off (were approx 10 mins away) so "it wouldn't be worth turning around now". This was 7 years ago and I have never forgotten it. My awesomely ace BFF took an unpaid morning off work and came over, calmed me down, redid my makeup and sent me off to my interview. She is ace. My parents, less so.

When I was about 14 I was sat near a couple of boys in class and one of them told me that I was really ugly and then he told the other boy to say it to me too, which he did. It still comes to mind now and again, I'm not sure why though. I'm not ugly and wasn't then either. I'm a perfectly average looking woman who's never had any difficulty attracting male attention. It was just such an unnecessary and spiteful thing to say to someone who was just minding their own business.

My Y3 teacher once said to me ‘whats blummin wrong with you, you from planet zog or something’ in front of the whole class when I got a question wrong. I was only 7 and had undiagnosed ADHD, dyslexia and dyspraxia at the time. I’ve never felt more stupid and small and it honestly did shape my view of my own intelligence. It’s not the worst thing she did to me by far (she’d have been arrested these days for her antics) but it’s stuck with me all these years she also denied I had any problems with my learning meaning school refused to believe I needed assessing when my mum tried to push for it.

Thankfully a wonderful 6ft tall ex-police woman goddess of a teacher was my Y5 teacher and she healed a lot of the trauma the Y4 one did to me. She was a truly wonderful human who came to teaching later on life, I’ll never forget her she used to call me twinkle toes because I danced everywhere

These are all so sad.

My dad who died 21 years ago, this May, was really hurtful a couple of times.

The one which still makes my eyes prick with tears was when I was about 17, my sister was 13.

I have trichotillomania which means I pull out my own hair. I usually wear a cover of sorts and on that day had a basketball cap on, but underneath was a very large bald patch.

We were sat at the dinner table and one of dad's friends popped in to say hello. He jokingly told me off for wearing a cap at dinner and my dad grabbed it off and laughingly said something like "there's nothing under there" hahahaha. I just took my hat back and walked upstairs, trying not to cry in front of everyone.

I heard my sister tearing strips off him as I climbed the stairs. 😆

I don't know why he did that. He wasn't a cruel man and I miss him so much. He was always life and soul of the room, and I think didn't realise that my hair loss would be quite so terrible underneath. I'd like to think he felt bad about it but we never had a chance to talk about it ever.

I don't think I've ever told that story to anyone before.

DM telling me that she regretted having children, just after saying that DF probably wouldn't have left her if I had been a boy, as he'd never wanted a girl.
Strangely enough I have always struggled with low self esteem.

Try to remember that the older generation were brought up differently then, and they were almost brutal in their ways. I suppose it might have had something to do with living through two world wars ?
I'm not agreeing with this.
I'm guessing op grandmother would be around 110 if alive same as my parents and Dh 's parents ( they had him late in life)
All 3 couples were so fare removed from each other culturally socially and financially and none of them had a brutal bone in the body. They all had been through wars and two of them fled their country but were so loving.