If you’re not in work, how much money do you get for spends from your partner?

[ShutUpAlex]

If they’ve already covered all the bills etc, how much would you expect to get for personal, walking around money into your own account?

I spend between 20 and 100 a week, is that what you’re asking?

We have a joint account for most things. We each take out the same amount for personal spending and leave the rest in joint.

I am the sahm and I am the one who spends most of our joint money (on my amazon habit stuff for the house and kids etc.)

I think if you’re not happy with your £500 a month that your partner gives you out of his hard earned money, and you can’t work, you should surely be entitled to PIP. Maybe apply for that.

Firstly, well done OP making the post gender neutral , it was interesting to see how some of the posts have changed when you explained the situation.
I would say a few things, I agree with those who say that fun with the kids should not be included in the split. Whilst fun its not what I really call personal expenses. Also if you run out of your 500 quickly, how do you treat the kids at the weekend at the end of the month??
from perspective my DH when he worked would have about 250 pm, that included going out petrol his gym membership and that was always more than enough.
That said everyone is different and you will have different tastes. I would say though that in these uncertain times, its probably best to reign in excess expenses as much as you can to use for buffer savings or reducing loans / mortgages.

@Idontknowausername no thanks

Why don’t you just leave him more in the joint account and take a smaller amount for personal usage? Whatever does get used can be thrown into savings.

I don't think the 'not in work' thing is relevant. I am in work, but we manage our finances jointly and carefully.

I have £110/week personal spending money which covers things I want to buy for my hobbies, clothes, coffees, pub trips, dinners with friends etc. We have a joint account for bills, and another joint account for household/shared expenses (e.g. drinks or dinner out as a couple). We also have savings accounts that can be dipped into if a bit extra is needed, and if I am caught short, I have a credit card/can dip into one of the joint accounts which always have a bit of a buffer. I wouldn't like the £110/week to be the only instant access money I had available.

@Cheeseandwin5 we both have credit cards too with quite large limits on them so we’re never without money. He looks after mine 🤣
But the kids get everything they need and neither of us go without even if I do blow my money on something stupid.

@Idontknowausername

I genuinely don't know where you got the information that it's the OP's partner working, and not her? She's not stated that anywhere? She is, in fact, just trying to ensure that the way that her salary is currently split is fair for him.

[quote Illberidingshotgun]@Idontknowausername

I genuinely don't know where you got the information that it's the OP's partner working, and not her? She's not stated that anywhere? She is, in fact, just trying to ensure that the way that her salary is currently split is fair for him.[/quote]
Yeah, I didn’t read 9 pages of responses before I posted, sue me 🙄

I don't work and get however much I need. I don't go out much (pre covid) because I don't want to, so don't need much cash. I do most of my shopping online and then give DH the bill when it arrives. But again I don't buy much. The only time I do spend a lot is on holiday when DH is there anyway.

I think I'm extremely lucky as I'm not a big spender and DH is the sort of person who would give me everything he had if I said I needed it. He would happily go without to ensure me and his kids had everything we needed (and a few wants as well).

@Idontknowausername

I think if you’re not happy with your £500 a month that your partner gives you out of his hard earned money, and you can’t work, you should surely be entitled to PIP. Maybe apply for that.

Fucking hell, why is this thread full of people who can't read properly?

If you have £1000 for free spends but that Inc clothes and trips I'd put another £200 into the shared pot and take kids clothes and treats out of that.
You inferred you don't have access to that incase you are poorly again so it would mean him being responsible for getting there clothes / you going together but as he's SAHP that's fine.
That leaves you with £400 a month which is plenty.

We have a joint account so my answer is I buy what I like (within reason). I’m pretty frugal though - and I do work (although currently dh brings in more money a big part of why we can enjoy our comfortable lifestyle is due to inheritance in my part). Before we got married we had our own accounts etc so spent what we could afford!

I’m a full time cree for my son and DH works FT.
We don’t have an agreed amount everything goes in and out of one joint account.
We both always double check we can afford to spend anything and always let each know if we’ve bought something.

Carer*

@GinaJaffacake

I don’t really understand? I don’t get given anything. Once all bills are paid then we can each spend whatever is left however we need. We both have access to all monies.

Nobody in their right mind ever gives up work to be a SAHP without full access to the household money. I’m not his staff, I’m his wife and mother of his children.

This ^

I would say £500 is more than enough!
We don’t have anywhere near £500 left over after bills are paid we live paycheque to paycheque, I wouldn’t know what to spend all of that on 😅

I'm a sahm and if I ever need something, DH would transfer it to my account or I'll use his card which he leaves it with me anyway. He's a company director so our monthly income vary's. Some days he tells me to be careful as he has to make a big payment and if I need to buy something for DS for example and it clashes with my weekly shop, I will delay both for a couple of days or one of them depending which one is urgent. Overall, I think £500 is enough after all bills are paid and you use it for yourself only and sometimes especially since covid, I have never had that much money to spend on myself anyway and never asked. I just didn't see the point in buying new clothes or just things that I won't be able to enjoy using since we are all locked up.

i get to spend £180 a month to fritter away: nail polish, make up, clothes, kindle books, random on line shopping eg i just fancy a new mascara, home fragrance, skin care, ooh a new jumpsuit to lounge around in etc.

We have a joint account, and within reason, I can spend what I want. When DH gets paid, we transfer money into the bills account and money into savings accounts, then what is left, is for both of us to use accordingly. We discuss biggish purchases, but here and there costs (say, less than £100) are just made, provided there is money in the account.

As long as he doesn't resent you blowing £500 on yourself, whilst his is shared between him and the kids, then it's not a problem.

When I was a fully SAHM I was really uncomfortable with spending willy nilly, even though he was fine with it, so I told him I wanted £250 a month into my own account to buy whatever I wanted. This wasn't his idea, it was mine to make me feel more comfortable.

I now work p/t and don't earn a lot. However, what I do earn I put fully into savings so that I feel I am contributing. I still buy myself a few things but ironically now I am earning I am much more miserly and wary of where the money goes.

When DH was SAHD I tried to make sure he had £200 for personal spends. He did have some income though and DC related expenditure came out of the joint account. For referrence my take home was £3300 I put £2800 in the joint account.

Hi @ShutUpAlex, I've only read your posts and the first few replies, but I just wanted to say that you sound like a great person, very self-aware and very considerate. I hope your other half gets their job back soon and that you all enjoy more family time while he's on furlough.