Why do thin people say they’re fat all the time?

[Lollipop1234]

Starting to get irritated by friend who is always texting about her weight, how many snacks she’s had, how her stomach is massive, how enormous she is and that she’s disgusted with herself as she’s nearly 9 stone and has never been that heavy in her life.....saying she looks like a beached whale etc.saying she’s having to buy size 10.

Friend is size 8 and no more than 8.5 stone wet through. Friend is 50+ so old enough to know better. Is this attention seeking?

I am constantly having to text back about how she’s not fat at all and has nothing to worry about, but it’s starting to annoy me! She does it a bit with clothes too, always buying new stuff and then saying she has nothing to wear and looks scruffy, when it’s obvious she’s made effort!

Being size 10-12 and well over 9 stone myself, I find it all a bit bizarre to be honest! Does she think I look like a beached whale? Am I saying the wrong thing? What am I supposed to say?

stop feeding her obsession by responding

I’d say your friend has some issues with loving herself. I’d be cheesed off too if someone smaller than me kept going in about how fat they are. But I don’t think they think you are, they just can’t see themselfs in true light.

She may indeed think she does look like a beached whale. It is irritating when a size 8 friend moans about their weight - i always think they are being disingenuous but I have come to realise that many people seem to have body issues no matter what size.
But it does sound boring, so try changing the subject.

Attention seeking.

Say nothing. She's fishing, you're biting and so it continues. Ignore any text that mentions her weight. Any phonecalls where she mentions her weight, tell her you need to go and hang up.

If it was me I would be suggesting various diet plans/exercise regimes/healthy recipes to her until she finally gives up moaning!

Stop texting back saying she isn't fat.

Either a) she is seeking this kind of reassurance knowing she isn't fat, which is annoying so you shouldn't validate it

Or b) she really isn't happy with her weight, in which case she has a right to her opinion and you should accept it.

I have thinner friends complain about their weight and I don't take it personally. It's their opinion about themselves. I don't say "yeah you're enormous". But I might say "gosh don't we all feel that way after lockdown", "its horrible when you don't feel happy with yourself, isn't it", "what are you going to do about it?" or similar.

Feeling crappy about our body is not the exclusive preserve of the overweight. Slim people have “fat” days, days when they dislike their body, are frustrated at the crap they have eaten & feel bloated. All the exact same feelings that many women of all shapes & sizes experience at some point. I’ve been slim but I’ve also been obese & my actual size was irrelevant to my feelings. If you believe that she’s attention seeking, why not find a tactful way to address that with her? Tell her she seems worried about her appearance when, as far as you can see, she looks fine? You might be offering a line of support to a friend who’s struggling.

Yabu by using thin to describe slim.
Otherwise ignore her I know the type I've an ex friend who never stopped talking about her vegan diet gym sessions and her fat stomach looking for compliments.
Just say stop fishing.
That ex friend was in a minority of all the slim women in my life.

I find all people with weight obsession very boring tbh.

And the “she’s 50 & should know better” comment is utter BS. Disordered eating & body dysmorphia & general insecurity affects people of all ages.

I’d feel irritated even if an overweight friend was going on like that to be honest. Other people don’t need regular updates on how someone feels about their weight. I’d suggest ignoring.

The simple answer for why she does it is she lives in a fatphobic society (even though this behaviour is itself fatphobic as is yours in telling her she has "nothing to worry about").

Maybe ask her as to what she expects you to respond?

My entire family including myself are all very slim and classed as underweight, nobody knows why as we all eat well, generics I suppose. My mother is now almost 60 and the biggest she's ever been but will probably still be the tiniest almost 60 year old in the room, so in a way, I would understand if my mother felt like that but wouldn't quite understand why she needs to tell her friend in such a manner & I don't think she would.

You're old enough to be honest, so just tell her that she's been saying this for a while and you don't know what to say?

I've been there. Size 8 constantly telling me how disgusting she looked (I'm size 20). I just ignored and didnt feed it. I did wonder what she thought of me if she was so disgusting at size 8

I have no sympathy. We are in National lockdown. 100k people have died. You are allowed to go out to exercise within your local area.......you shouldn’t drive to do this.

Nowhere does the law state this. Your opinion doesnt matter. The law matters.

The rules are simple. Don’t follow them, and you will be fined.

She did follow the rules and was still fined.

Sorry wrong thread

That sounds draining. Whether my friend was obese, overweight, underweight, whatever weight, I wouldn't want them to repeatedly tell me how big they are and go on about their weight. Who wants to talk about the same thing all the time?

You've told her she's not fat, now stop replying. You've said what you think and that's that. Don't reply if she texts you about her weight.

Sorry this needs to be added: Not feeling disgusting or like a whale but different as she's been so very slim for so very long and maybe not as happy in her skin as she used to. I don't think my mum would ever say anything close to what your friend says though.

@tellthem

stop feeding her obsession by responding

This x a million

Everyone has bloated / off days where they feel fat, whether you're an 8 or an 18. Hell sometimes even if I put on the "wrong" outfit (e.g. at the wrong time of the month) it will give me a shock, even though nothing has substantially changed.

Also (speaking from personal experience), you notice smaller weight gains when you're starting from the point of being slim. When I'm slim I notice a couple of pounds. When I'm already carrying a little extra it's easy for the same couple of pounds to appear without being noticed.

Yep my sister is like this, constantly going on about how fat she is and how”massive” she is, calls herself “Fatso” when she is a size 10 and 5ft 8, definitely attention seeking

Yeah I’ve had people say this to me all my life when I’m clearly way bigger than them. I don’t care if you feel fat. You shouldn’t say it in front of people who are genuinely obese. Keep It to your self. An extreme example, would be complaining to a dwarf how short you feel and unhappy about it. You just wouldn’t do it. It’s cruel. I don’t think it’s attention seeking I believe they want others to feel bad.

It sounds like she is having a bad time and needs support, just because she isn't fat it doesn't mean she doesn't feel fat. She could have an eating disorder and/or body dysmorphia

My SIL used to do this and now she is fat. Ha!