Why do thin people say they’re fat all the time?

[Lollipop1234]

Starting to get irritated by friend who is always texting about her weight, how many snacks she’s had, how her stomach is massive, how enormous she is and that she’s disgusted with herself as she’s nearly 9 stone and has never been that heavy in her life.....saying she looks like a beached whale etc.saying she’s having to buy size 10.

Friend is size 8 and no more than 8.5 stone wet through. Friend is 50+ so old enough to know better. Is this attention seeking?

I am constantly having to text back about how she’s not fat at all and has nothing to worry about, but it’s starting to annoy me! She does it a bit with clothes too, always buying new stuff and then saying she has nothing to wear and looks scruffy, when it’s obvious she’s made effort!

Being size 10-12 and well over 9 stone myself, I find it all a bit bizarre to be honest! Does she think I look like a beached whale? Am I saying the wrong thing? What am I supposed to say?

I’m going to sheepishly raise my hand and admit I’ve been guilty for this (size 8) but trying to reign it in. But feeling bad about our bodies isn’t just for the overweight and obese. And you’re bordering on thin shaming. I do agree though, moaning about weight can be such a bore.

Next time, tell her she's definitely obese and she needs to do something about it and stop moaning.

To get you to tell them how good they look. Same as the people who post on her asking how old do you think I look?. They want to be flattered.

Tell her yes, she's a fat cunt

I might feel fat on a given day but I don’t go on about it to heavier friends, and if I do mention it I phrase it about the inconvenience - I have gained weight, and only half my clothes fit me, so that is obviously annoying. But I’m still under 9 stone so I’m not going to qualify as fat or use that word or similar about me ever except maybe to husband or best friends and with ‘I feel’ phrasing, because I’m not fat and I know that. So it would piss me off.

I feel like the thread title is very misleading. You're talking about one thin person who is saying she is fat a lot to you. It's a bit of a leap of logic to assume that the token thin person you know represents all the others out there (including you. You're thin too).

When I gained weight to about a size 10'i was so unhappy. Years ago got a really serious eating disorder, never saw bigger people as bigger at all I was so unhappy. Years later I'm bigger no but so much happier. I thought I was fatter and grosser for me as a size 10 than now as a 14. Don't be mean it's a personal thing

I am a recovering anorexic and when I was underweight I saw myself as fat, on bad days I could constantly feel the fat on me wobbling around and see it in the mirror even though I wasn't fat, it was all I could think about and it helped to have someone tell me it isn't real

Even thin people can be unhappy with their body, especially if they are comparing themselves to some former version of themselves. However it is incredibly boring when people go on and on about it, and pretty insensitive to say the things she does, knowing that you are bigger.

If it was me, I would stop replying that she isn't fat etc. as that just feeds the cycle. Either outright say to her that given you are bigger than she is, you find it insulting and don't want to hear it. Or if you prefer the gentler route, just ignore any comments about her body/appearance and direct conversation towards other topics.

Because we're not happy and we would like to be a bit thinner.

I'd never text anyone about it or expect anyone to be sympathetic, though.

Deep insecurity and the desperate need for validation as she obviously ties her weight to her self worth.

Stop replying. Id say something like

"You dont look fat, I said as much the other day and nothings changed."

Then dont reply on that subject anymore.

Why are you referring to slim people as thin? Unless she is very tall she is likely to be a healthy weight at almost 9 stone.

Ignore ignore ignore.

If really goaded to comment make generic factually correct comments like "size 10 is smaller than average in the UK".

And theres nothing wrong with the word thin.

Being thin is fine and healthy. Op didnt describe her as underweight.

Reply “wrong audience “

Thin is more often used to describe someone who is underweight, slim for the lower end of healthy weight. They have different connotations.

I am guilty of this (although I try not to vocalise it and particularly not to anyone larger than me; that would seem very tasteless, as well as self absorbed and boring).

I managed to keep my weight around 8 stone (I'm 5'6) for most of my adult life. Now I'm in my 40s I'm about 9 and a half stone. A combination of middle age (even before my weight itself went up I started to get a larger waist and abdomen), having a baby at 40 and work life/hours being stressful that I comfort snack more and drink a lot more alcohol (not good I know but I'm in a rut and can't seem to kick start again).

So I'm slim to most people but I hate the look and feel of now being "bigger", the rolls that appear when I sit down, the muffin top that squishes over my trousers, my favourite body con dresses being tight and unflattering, the tummy jiggle feeling when I stand up quickly, the thick waisted silhouette I see when I glance at my reflection. I have sufficient self awareness not to "go on" about it to others though. If I really put my mind to it I could lose the pounds.

I definitely wouldn't say 9 stone/size 10 was "thin". Slim, yes, but thin infers underweight/skinny/ scrawny/ skin and bone. 9 stone for most people is a healthy weight where they are still quite "well covered".

stop feeding her obsession by responding

This

You aren’t supporting her your enabling her obsession.

Insecure and attention seeking behaviour.

However it makes sense that slim people might be more obsessed by their weight since they're closer to the lowest end of the scale. So they feel like they're almost there to count as thin yet there are always a couple of even thinner people around so that fuels the obsession.

Comparable to how many rich or well-off families constantly claim they don't have enough because they keep comparing themselves to even richer people. The closer you are, the further away it seems.

Bloody hell, I assumed she’d be in her 20s

It’s ludicrously dull, just stop responding

Dunno. I've got a friend who's a size ten and is a member of slimming world. Exercises at home every day, counts her syns etc. She's never been overweight since I've known her though.

If she has an eating disorder or body dysmorphia it isn't going to change by you reassuring her. Reassurance is actually feeding it.

I would ask her if she has reached out for professional help because she describes herself as a beached whale when she isn't.

Attention seeking, yes. Perhaps she has low self esteem and thinks one thing she’s reliably good at is being thin. Maybe this has always felt like an achievement to her so she has fixated on it as a way to garner attention, approval, validation as well as reassurances that she’s still thin.

As far as I’m concerned, most slim people go on about being fat for one reason; so they can be told they’re not.
Fucking boring.

I am slim having lost a fuckton of weight...and I’m proud of it too. I never mention my weight to anyone else though. Why would I?