AIBU to wish for a dog-free park?

[PerspicaciousGreen]

I live in a lovely outer London borough with about ten parks within half an hour's walk, full of young families, great place to bring up children... except for the dogs.

My 2yo DS is TERRIFIED of dogs and, unfortunately, so am I. He's got it from me, I know, and it's just awful. I was so scared as a child I'd cry if I had to walk past a dog on the street and after years of work I got to the point where I felt I wasn't very comfortable around dogs but could live a normal life. However, seeing my DS being nervous around them has brought it all back and honestly now I come out in a cold sweat if I see a dog. I try to put a brave face on it for him, I really do, but he can tell I'm scared and we just wind each other up, I think.

So I find myself barely able to use any of the parks because every single one is full of dogs all the time. The one closest to our house, the fenced-off playground is right next to the entrance so we can do a sprint in and then it's OK. But one time several months ago, someone's dog got in (to their credit, they leapt in straight away and manhandled it out again) and he STILL talks about it and looks for dogs before he will play.

But the other ones, it's like a tiny little island of playground in the middle of acres and acres of dogs chasing each other, barking, etc. It's not even about whether their owners are responsible or not any more. If a dog so much as looks at DS, he freaks. And there are lots of owners who trot out the old "He's just being friendly!" while I hold a sobbing DS and try not to cry myself!

There is just no open space in the whole of our neighbourhood that doesn't have dogs in it. I'd love to be able to go for walks, take him out for a picnic, kick a ball around... But we can never relax because there's always a dog. Even if we weren't scared, we'd end up tripping over them or having one come over for a taste of our sandwiches.

I know IABU to be so scared of dogs. I do. But AIBU to wish there was one dog free park in this apparent suburban park paradise?

I just want a part free of dog poop. All i want is to be able to run and exercise in my local park without having to look down all the time so I can avoid stepping on poo.

YANBU. There's no such thing as a "safe" dog, the most docile of dogs could flip into a killer at any moment and for no reason. I hate the bitches. And males too. I get why some dogs are needed, police and rescue dogs, guide dogs etc., but the general public shouldn't be allowed them. It's a bit like saying everyone should be allowed a handgun because most people would be responsible with them. No - we restrict them to those who need them for their job.

Oh for heavens sake get a grip. Are you always this hysterical?

Dogs shouldn't be allowed off lead. I live near a very large park and every other week I hear complaints about dogs knocking small children down, dogs chasing the runners, dogs jumping on people with muddy coats. I am pro dogs, I think there should be a legislation to force dog owners to train the animals properly and getting a license before they are allowed in parks. And of course in every park there are people with rottweilers, staff bull terriers etc off leads, not muzzled.. Obviously owners claim they don't bite. Until they do. And one bite from such dog would kill an average 2yo child.

I'm a dog owner and think that if there are enough parks within a vicinity, it's not unreasonable to expect one to be dog free, or at least a part of it.

YANBU for wishing this but it sounds like even dogs on lead you can't handle. I really think it would be a good idea to contact someone about overcoming this phobia as it is quite extreme and now impacting your child. Dogs Trust offer free help (not sure with COVID) for children who are terrified of dogs in some areas - might be worth looking into.

I am a dog owner and would never have my dog off lead in a public area like this. I hate off-lead dog walkers in public parks just as much!

Are you talking Bushy Park, op? My memory is sketchy but aren't the Plantation areas dog free?
That said as a dog owner I don't think it's unreasonable that there should be dog free parks and areas at least. Also that owners have better control.
My Golden is trained to come to a whistle and I always keep a keen eye out (we live rurally now) for small children and I recall him in an instant just in case. That said the majority see him and want to interact!
You do need to do something g about your child's phobia tho. You suggest it is based purely on your own, which is a shame. What about future play dates in houses where there are dogs? Perhaps tho, away from your anxiety your child may be ok?

And pre dog I used to regularly challenge dog owners I saw not picking up.
This was in London Parks. DH used to think I was nuts. But I saw red mist!
I still do this 'oh I think you can't have seen your dog pooping..' I think being older I can get away with it!!

I'm with you OP. I'd love a dog free park. So many irresponsible owners who choose not to control their dogs. The amount of dog mess on the pavement is also disgusting.

I think having dog free parks and dog free spaces is a great idea.

I own a dog, and love to walk him off lead (in suitable places) but most town parks are not suitable, due to them being shared spaces.

I think you would find some dog owners ignored it sadly.

I know a couple of children hwo were terrified of dogs. Their parents asked if they oculd meet my dog, to try and get past it.
At the time I didn't have my own dog, but I regularly looked after my cousin's dog, who is huge, a large golden retriever, but he is very very calm, and veyr gentle. He stands still like a shaggy bear.

Both children started by looking at him through the french windows. We talked about the dog, how he moved, what he liked. They watched my dh go in the garedn and do some simple training. Sit, stand, fetch. They watched him run after a ball and bring it back. Over several visits we got as far as the dog sitting still and they came close to him. Then they threw the ball for him, ad eventually they cam close enough to stroke him. They are both now not afraid of dogs.

But my own dog, now, is spaniel who moves very quickly. When they came and met him, it took a lot longer (crucially he doesn't jump up, or bump into you at all).

Both children are now much much less scared of dogs generally when out and about, but still choose to stay away form them, which is fine.

One fo them was particularly helped by learning a bit about doggy body language. What does a happy dog look like, what does and angry dog look like?

I do think it would help you and your son to do something like this.

I've been trying to help my DD get past her fear of dogs since she was a toddler. She's now 9.5yo.
It was started by a pair of labs running up to say hello, and knocking her over, when she was two. You know, 'just being friendly'. When she was four, she was knocked off her bike by an over excited escaped German Shepherd. (Who then jumped in the trailer with her two year old sister who found it hilarious).
Shes fine with properly introduced dogs. But if an unfamiliar, unaccompanied dog approaches her, she freezes.

It doesn't matter the dog is 'jyst being friendly c. These are the dogs making young children scared.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

I've been trying to help my DD get past her fear of dogs since she was a toddler. She's now 9.5yo. It was started by a pair of labs running up to say hello, and knocking her over, when she was two. You know, 'just being friendly'. When she was four, she was knocked off her bike by an over excited escaped German Shepherd. (Who then jumped in the trailer with her two year old sister who found it hilarious). Shes fine with properly introduced dogs. But if an unfamiliar, unaccompanied dog approaches her, she freezes.

It doesn't matter the dog is 'jyst being friendly c. These are the dogs making young children scared.

totally agree. and big dogs are huge compared to a child.

But there is a difference between wariness (justified) and terror which means they can't even walk across to the play area.

You need to deal with your dog phobia because it’s not reasonable to expect not to have to encounter them in public areas. I generally have my dog off lead in parks etc, he is disinterested in children and people in general and well-behaved but we have met some unreasonable people when out and about.

For example, we were working on his ‘heel’ training, he was walking at my side whilst looking up at me the entire time, he has a harness with huge green patches on it that say ‘friendly’ because people see a dog with pointy ears and think he’s going to eat them. Anyway, DDog is gazing up at me as we walk, both of us minding our own business until a woman with children walks past us and makes a huge show of shielding her children from him and screeching at me to ‘put that animal on a lead’

Either deal with your/your DS’ phobia or don’t go where you know dogs will be. I’m claustrophobic so I avoid being confined in small spaces. 🤷🏼‍♀️

A few years ago I was in the Gruenewald in Berlin and they had various areas - either dog-friendly - ie dogs could be off leads, dog-tolerant - ie dogs could be there on leads, and no dogs at all. I thought it was a brilliant idea and wish we could have more zones like that here.

I used to be terrified of dogs OP, nearly got myself run over a few times as a child, but I can run past them now. As long as they leave me alone, I am fine. I've not worked on it in any way, I guess my desire to run somewhere outweighs my fear of dogs. I am not really scared of them anymore, just don't like them.

Interestingly my mum has a picture of me when I was 2 with a German shepherd, perfectly happy. But as far as I could remember I was scared of dogs so one must have jumped up at me at some point.

It isn't for people to deal with their phobias, the onus is on dog owners to make sure their dogs are fully under control and don't run up to people and jump on them.

Either deal with your/your DS’ phobia or don’t go where you know dogs will be

The problem is that dogs are everywhere these days "because they are part of the family" - even in shops.

I'm not scared of dogs but I'm so sick of their owners giving them equal rights to humans, when it contravenes the rules. We have a dogs on leads rule in most parks, which a great deal of people don't abide by and they get very shirty if you nicely ask them to keep it on a lead after it has jumped all over you. "Oh she's entitled to have fun too!"
The fenced off playparks usually have what looks Battersea dogs home of dogs tied to the fence right beside the entrance, so the jumpy ones are still within jumping reach when you try to go in/out. Again exasperated comments from owners" oh he's just so excited to see the children playing". There's always at least one who brings the dog into the play park area "because he's so unsettled without me". Of course we are all supposed to suck it up because Snoopy's mental health is just as important as every child's wellbeing.

Just saw one of my local fave coffee shops is now offering a "puppucino" and showed a photo of a dog slurping out of a coffee cup. Won't be wanting to go back there now.

There are so many shit dog owners atm. Many with dogs bought in lockdown 1 that have barely been trained.

Sadly even dog-free parks are unlikely to help atm as there’s so many entitled pricks around that just ignore it.

My 7yo has a new fear of dogs after being chased by a “friendly, won’t harm you, just coming to say hello” young dog in the fenced off dog-free part of the park. Several people have just been ignoring the signs and there’s no park staff atm to enforce it. There’s a woman locally who challenges them and without fail when I’ve heard her they all use the excuse that their dog doesn’t like other dogs.

Yes there are shit dog owners just as there generally shit people.

Shit cyclists roaming parks, shit groups of teens smoking weed and drinking, shit personal trainers using the playground equipment and do on.

Plenty of shit to go around.

I'd go for a park with only dogs vs screaming kids spoiling the peace.

It just sounds like arsehole owners to me. Lots of dogs near me (up north) however only a couple of times a year do we get approached by a dog. Usually they pass right by us not even noticing our existence.

I’m another for Child free parks, and I’m one with a baby and dogs. My dogs are a breed everyone wants to talk to, and it overwhelms them sometimes. Plus you often get children touching them without asking first. My dogs are friendly, but some aren’t

I also wish for dog free parks....I do have a phobia but only when dogs are running free, I think it’s to do with my lack of control over the situation and I’ve learnt that quite a few owners have little to no control over their dogs. I don’t want any dogs running up to me let alone touching me. I know they are a part of everyday life but I’d like to feel secure that I won’t have a dog jumping on me or my children. We have had a few incidents where dogs have jumped on us, luckily my children are confident with dogs as I have let others expose them to dogs.

Agree with pp about addressing your fear of dogs which you are passing on to your dc.
Owners should keep their dogs under control I absolutely agree.
The pity of it is,with lockdown there are many first time dog owners about who don't have a clue about raising an obedient dog and allow them to run as they wish.
Not surprising the dogs trust has had about 1800 calls from people who no longer want their poor dog .

In the politest way possible, you and your son need to learn to live with dogs. Parks and other places have dogs in them. It’s just something you need to be able to cope with. You live in London, you need to be able to share space with all sorts of other people.

In my local park there are plenty of people I find annoying (cyclists in non-cycle areas, kids crashing around on their bikes bashing into people, people playing music loudly etc). But it’s a public space. In Zone 2. I can’t expect it just to be used by some people and not by others.

If you turned some parks into ‘non-dog’ parks then dog owners would have to travel to other parks. Surely that’s not a good idea in terms of creating unnecessary car journeys/more cars on the road/parking issues. Better to just allow everyone to use their local parks. You already have a non-dog area (ie the playground) so asking for a full non-dog park is unreasonable.